Plot B is here, and it is doing its thing. Plot A, not so much. I don't think I gave it enough sustenance to work with. The question is, these things must change, but how should the revision process go? Technically, stuff already out shouldn't be changed and should be the final edition. Realistically, as it goes, some things will be changed.

This chapter moves on to different themes and the plot's further development. But it can be confusing as to the direction; there hasn't been a catalyst to start a difference between the story and the setting. No, "a magical being has changed how the world is shaped." This has been more basic traditional wuxia/xianxia. Here it goes out, and the story is still trying to figure out its shape. Also, fix the grammar mistakes.

Perhaps wording can be made a bit more intentional, certain parts sound interesting and can be made better. Grammer mistakes that need to be fixed. Names of the sects can be worked on. Maybe spend more time instead of simply passing through situations that exist purely to exist in a superficial level. Perhaps pace is too fast here. Also transitions from setting and context is a bit odd when leaving the sect and practising technique. Much work to be done.

What exactly does this play into the story? Is it filler, could the story go on without this tension. Does the story need these small level energy and tension. Or does the energy and tension make the story. Questions, questions. Also grammer mistakes. When I read this I think, “okay cool, I see where this is going and I’m kind of excited but nothing crazy.” Do I want to keep it at that level? Will “satisfactory” work?

Fix grammer mistakes. Also work on the scene a little bit more. Doesn’t the stranger who drinks with Bluebird have work to do? To feed their children and whatnot. If they are scared and pressured to go with him display and show emotions and actions that would be more appropriate. Their discussion in this chapter is playing more on plot B than plot A, not necessarily a bad thing but those who read and glance over without full focus might not think to much about the scene. Extend certain parts and shorten others.

A little too sudden to move and explore other connected lands and institutions to the sect with the Little Girl. Focus on Making those parts more intentional and focused. Find a “why” for every piece. How does this emotional and spiritual underplay affect and develop the characters? Work that brain food out some more. Second paragraph has grammer issues. Fix it when possible.

Would I think the reader would remember the names of the places in the sect? How could I change them or alter them to something that might click better for the reader? How relevant is this chapter to the story? Feels a bit choppy, but at the same time more energy. What about tension? Where exactly do I want to place that, should I have tension in this chapter? Is the charity part too far fetched and out of nowhere? It makes sense, maybe more to smooth it out instead of throwing it in there?

So, little one is highlighted in this chapter. Their perspective for a bit. A little bit of training with an understanding Bluebird is old and not as he appears on his outside physical appearance. Perhaps some more refining on making sure there is a purpose for everything in this chapter.

Organizing my own personal thoughts here, fellow readers, please ignore them. I have defined the name and/or identifier for the main character, Bluebird. Haoran, a friend of Bluebird, has passed; his death starts a series of events. How exactly do I want the small child to play out? Who are they, what are their ideas, and what do they represent? Food for thought, food for thought.

I didn’t wish to add another review just to relay some information. I will put it here and hope people will see it. I am slowing down the amount of chapters being released and focused more on revising the chapters out. Hopefully the plot/narrative and characters become more refined. I understand there are a lot of kinks with the story. I will make sure to add a proper summary/blurb to the story. TDLR: Fellow practitioner requires some secluded cultivation in hopes of evolving, “I can kind of write,” technique to new form, “I am a decent writer.”

Forgive me for not recognizing Mt. Tai. *Bows many times, and many more.* If I had known I was in the presence of an esteemed elder, I would never speak so carelessly.

Thank you for the blessing!

Yes, I am tooting my own horn. But if no one will review it, I will support myself as an artist and creative. I wanted to steer away from conventional hyperbole in this piece, still there is fantastic and "immortal" characteristics to this "martial arts" novel, but something a little closer to human. A mix between xianxia and wuxia, not perfectly one of the two. This is my first novel and will be getting my feet on the ground, stay tuned for the future to come!

Testing, testing.