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OldFellow

OldFellow

Lv14
2018-11-28 JoinedGlobal
913.4h

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23
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow4mth
    Posted

    Liked the story until MC ate the devil fruit, why most fanfics insist on the mc eating a devil fruit and a weird one at that i will never understand

    altalt
    One Piece: My wife is Nico Robin[Dropped]
    Anime & Comics · WeedSmokah
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow4mth
    Commented

    Hey writer, in this rewrite the MC will have devil fruit powers? if so the same as the original? Tks

    This book has been deleted.
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow4mth
    Posted

    Read up to Ch 18, for now it’s a good story and interesting plot. Just a question for the writer, will this story have harem? Not really a fan and would apreciate the heads up if possible. Good luck with the story

    altalt
    in the mcu with a machine to cross the multiverse.
    Anime & Comics · Kyroru
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow5mth
    Posted

    Interesting idea though not well developed, by ch 4 a month or so has passed and we dont see 1 proper conversation or scene, it feels like i am reading a story on fast forward where every scene is told and not shown, by this point we also don’t know anything about the mc aside from his name, does he have family? Friends? What did he do? It feels weird reading it. Author, good luck moving foward with the story

    altalt
    Rewrite asdf
    Fantasy · ShieldGodZ
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow5mth
    Commented

    Nice chapter, just be careful not to create drama from nowhere with this new angle of “going crazy/bloodlust mind control” by killing this alien race, if he didn’t lose himself before all destruction happened to humanity the chances of happening now are pretty low, to the point it would sound like forced plot

    Ch 46 Strange Tower
    altalt
    Eternity: God Mechanic
    Sci-fi · CosmicArchmage
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow5mth
    Posted

    The grammar makes reading difficult but not impossible, mtl levels, the problem with the story are the missing pieces on some chapters and the fact that all gifts from the system are aparenty accepted as normal by the family, not even a paragraph mentions the mc trying to explain it, several things seemingly appears from nowhere and it is treated as normal

    altalt
    The Rebirth of The Ancient Sword Sovereign
    Fantasy · EverGreen
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow6mth
    Replied to Arrkein

    First, Sorry if it came out as confusing or agressive, the impression i have is that you created a world where people with less means live in year 4000 the same as they would in the 2000s, when after thousands of years of innovation they should live like high income people do by our standards at least, the same way that most population today lives way better than any king hundreds of years ago, from my point of view it seems you wanted to create a dark world with class strugle and used this premisse as a base for the world building, but the way i see it, although class strugle would of course exist it would be so different from what we are used today that almost no one would be able to relate

    altalt
    The Earth After Rebirth
    Fantasy · Arrkein
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow6mth
    Posted

    Sounded interesting in the summary, though, after reading a few chapters i cant get interested enough in the MC to continue, but the biggest probem for me is the world building, even if the story is 2000 years in the future humanity stagnated in the 20th century, no matter how much you want to play victim and blame the world technology will aways bleed through all layers of society (just not a the same time) if not for the simple fact that we live in a capitalist economy (the same reason slavery ceased to exist, money trumps everything), so in summary the impression i have is that victim mentality not only shaped the MC but also the World

    altalt
    The Earth After Rebirth
    Fantasy · Arrkein
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow6mth
    Replied to OldFellow

    But aside from this 2 points i enjoyed reading the available chapters

    altalt
    My Girlfriend is an Ice Dragon
    Fantasy · Zefyr
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow6mth
    Replied to Zefyr

    And when i metioned Problems solved, i mean, he saved the world how many times? I he were to follow the premmise on the summary he would simply let the problems occour and let the “bad guys” (big families and gov) suffer from trying to solve them

    altalt
    My Girlfriend is an Ice Dragon
    Fantasy · Zefyr
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow6mth
    Replied to OldFellow

    Well, i read only the available chapters (30) and by love interests i mean the girl Xia and the teacher, it may not become Harem but every scene they appear reminded me of Harem novels and how mls were introduced, (especially the ones that didn’t have Harem planned) so as a precaution i expect it will become Harem, i simply hate reading tons of chapters only for the story to become Harem later on

    altalt
    My Girlfriend is an Ice Dragon
    Fantasy · Zefyr
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow6mth
    Posted

    The story is interesting but every premmise established in the summary is broken on the first few chapters, “Dragon Girlfriend”? Nope she only appears in half a chapter so far. “letting people solve their problems”? Nope MC gets involved in everything he can think of. and typical of novels with the title suggesting one love interest, till chapter 30 there appears to be 3 love interests, if i had to guess i would say it will become Harem as well. So Writer, you should update the summary and title to reflect the story, good luck

    altalt
    My Girlfriend is an Ice Dragon
    Fantasy · Zefyr
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow7mth
    Replied to OldFellow

    Besides, you are thinking the Northman are the same as we are, but they have been under the Starks for more than 8k years, and most of the common folk respect and truly likes the starks, that is basically what you would get trying to godify himself

    Ch 5 Chapter 4: Small Council
    altalt
    Empire of Winter
    Book&Literature · Worst_Writer69
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow7mth
    Commented

    Not sure it is a great idea to follow this line of thought, the good thing about the old gods is exactly the fact it doesn’t have organized religion, i belive it will detract from the story if it goes like this

    Ch 5 Chapter 4: Small Council
    altalt
    Empire of Winter
    Book&Literature · Worst_Writer69
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow9mth
    Posted

    A interesting story, good premise and the template works in good way which is a nice change of pace from what happens in other works. But chapter 16 - 18 were to jarring, the MC makes decisions that contradicts his entire personality for some reason, forced plot comes to mind but theses actions were mostly without reason and consequence which makes it weirder. Author, good luck with the story

    altalt
    Naruto: Reduce All Creation to Ash
    Anime & Comics · Palpable_Banana
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow9mth
    Posted

    It is a interesting story but certain points made me stop reading, making Queen an AI but not AI just complicates things for no reason, and the fact that the MC discarded his body to become a robot is just weird, there are plenty of ways to become OP without becoming a machine, especially in universes such as Marvel. Author, good luck with the story.

    altalt
    Marvel: Psychomimetic
    Anime & Comics · king_frosh
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow9mth
    Posted

    Tried to read it but couldn’t get past chapter 4, a hidden village is a military village and shinobi are military personal who obey orders from above, I highly doubt it that attacking civilians openly is a allowed practice, especially since the civilian council is a thing (Plus Uchiha Police), too edgy for me. Author, good luck with the story

    altalt
    Memory Thief
    Anime & Comics · Nyameye_Nomafo
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow9mth
    Posted

    Cool story, well written, good premise and a interesting development, but with each new chapter the MC is nerfed little by little, although he has memories of another life and starts training early he cant even give a decent chalange to Neji who is only a year older, later his strength is comparable to young Sasuke, and later the Mc and Sasuke have strength equal to Naruto and Hinata (as children), i am afraid this trend will continue in later chapters but haven’t read it so who knows, but unfortunately i lost my interest in finding out. Author, good luck with the story, i believe lot of people will enjoy it

    altalt
    Beyond the Limits I Became a Ninja in Naruto
    Anime & Comics · Bruno_oliveira
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow10mth
    Commented

    Sorry i am getting confused on the power scale, but is the MC a “regular” dude powerwise? Since Sasuke even if ahead of his classmates never was a genius on the level of true geniuses in the series (Shippuden handwaving from the writer aside)

    Ch 16 A Legacy Unveiled: Shadows of Konoha
    altalt
    Beyond the Limits I Became a Ninja in Naruto
    Anime & Comics · Bruno_oliveira
    detail
  • OldFellow
    OldFellow10mth
    Posted

    Awesome begining and premise, but in the marvel world there plenty of ways to become strong without a deal, that is just to radical of a action as a first option, anyway good luck with the story

    This book has been deleted.