Stealth95
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Stealth9523dCommentedCh 1 Infinite Money System?- Stealth955mthCommented
Needs work. The way it’s written makes it seem as if the family was safe from the fire and fled the city but at the end it says he is looking for his family’s killers. Who lived and who died? It’s also confusing when the sister went missing.
Ch 1 Birth Of a new wolf and the tradegy - Stealth958mthCommented
It’s too soon to pick since most of these characters haven’t been introduced into the story yet. Right now jean is in the lead just based on the cosmic connection, although I wouldn’t mind Natasha winning since he might be able to heal her physically and mentally plus they both use martial arts.
Ch 16 Update - Stealth958mthCommented
Ryuu is overrated in my opinion. Tiona would be better plus they both like combat.
The FL will either be Tiona or Ryuu, I haven't decided yet. Fortuna was always meant to fulfill the role of a friend/family member. Riveria would be an interesting choice, but I admittedly don't like the age gap despite the fact that the MC's lifespan is multiple thousands of years. - Stealth958mthCommented
Tsubaki 100%
There will definitely be no Harem since it is literally my least favorite trope of all time, but I am conflicted about who to make the FL since there are quite a few good options - Stealth9510mthCommented
Haxorus
[Do tell me which dragon type you would want in his team] - Stealth951yrCommented
+1
1. Leslie Shay Chicago fire.(yes she is gay in the show but with a little Author magic I can make her bi, plus we can save her season 3.) - Stealth951yrCommented
+1
2: Gyarados - Stealth952yrCommentedCh 16 PSM-15
- Stealth952yrCommentedCh 6 Chapter 6
- Stealth952yrCommented
I really enjoy reading this story. I love how the eternals interact with each other and how you incorporate history into it. It must’ve taken a lot of time to research the time period but it pays off and makes the story interesting. I would say you should either time skip close to modern day to make it easier for you or add opponents on a similar level to the Mc cause there isn’t much of a challenge.
This chapter has been deleted. - Stealth952yrCommentedCh 20 (A bit of a flirtation.)
- Stealth952yrCommentedCh 19 (The tail of the One Above All.)
- Stealth952yrCommentedCh 1 Prologue: The Great Pyramid
- Stealth952yrCommented
Keep it the same. I like the story as is and there isn’t a need to change how he got his powers.
This chapter has been deleted. - Stealth952yrCommented
It’s weird how you start off in 1st person POV and then immediately go into 3rd person pov. It’s ok to change POV as long as it’s a different paragraph. So In this case the first sentence should change to 3rd person. Ex Alexander Mathews was reincarnated by accident into this brand new world.
This paragraph has been deleted. - Stealth952yrCommentedCh 3 The Heist, Problems And Earning Some Cash