What is your schedule in posting? It’s a bit erratic so I’m unsure when I should be expecting a chapter haha

Your rather shameless, I know for a fact your not the author of this work as it was dropped years ago

I hate your writing, its repetive and reads like a bad deadpool monologue.

The story reads as a friend, stoned out of his mind is trying his very best to retell a story he half remembers

Once again a stolen fic, This one by Sir Poley over at fanfic.net once more, the original title is “Harry Potter and the natural 20” Sir Poley has published 314k words to this work of art that was essentially a semi crack campaign of a d&d Player in the HP setting. It has not been updated since the second of august 2018, and it’s an iconic fic so it’s hilarious you thought you could get away with stealing it. That’s the second time I see you steal, and it’s getting even more pathetic you absolute loser.

Its stolen. The original is on fanfic.net under the author Concept 101, with over 300k words published and the last update being July 28th. It’ absolutely disgusting to blatantly steal another authors work, claim it as a translation as it’s literally English Originally as well. I’m unsure if your just a pathetic with a severe lack of creativity and work ethic who would rather ride the coattails of others work for some validation or if your a disgusting hustler who seeks financial gain by asking for monetary support to help motivate your “translations” Either way, your a loser.

Space Chakra Sword is badas on its own, but I would choose a mythos and start stealing names. That what kishimoto did with Shinto and Hinduism. An option could be Norse, Call it Sverd= translates to sword, but it would be funny with really on the nose Norwegian names

I have no clue what the ten shadows technique is, what it does and how it would work in Naruto. The only thing you’ve let slip is that it uses chakra instead of cursed energy, that it will make him comparatively end game strong and that’s it. This is something you should have made clear earlier as so ita such a major part of your story, and you can’t expect everyone to know it. Other than that? I have absolutely no clue as of now what he wants to do, what he likes to do, and what he can’t do. You’ve given him a generic Nara personality and thats it lol

At this point, im honestly bored. The man has a literal domain to himself, a dimension where he is god. Why the fuck doesn’t he use the potter wealth to absolutely pimp the place out, but every book he would ever need about available topics related to magic and fucking bounce. He could easily do his whole “leave fliers for the frustrated witch/wizard” gig from the sanctity of his own dimensions with some fun jaunts in between. Literally nothing is happening, and im beyond bored by the lack of progress across the board. The guy has a Longinus for gods sakes and he seems as useless as a standard npc. It might be the lack of chapters, but the slow pace your going is honestly dreadful. I Tried stockpiling five chaoters as that would hopefully help but im out. Maybe your writing with a thousand chapter goal, but remember to keep the chaoters engaging my man!

(This is repetitive and redundant)

The concept of the fic is quite intriguing and feels like a fresh breath of air compared to other more blatant fix it fics. Harry feels like an actual child who might seem and present himself as unreasonably mature, but we see glimpses of naïveté and childishness in funny and organic little glimpses. I absolutely adore the way he approaches magic and the people around him, and I can’ reiterate enough how refreshing it is to actually read how canon characters are adapting and reacting to a different Harry. I’ve read way too many fics where everyone almost seems hypnotised to act like canon with Harry, even though literally everything is different and should be interpreted and approached as such. I can’t wait to further read how he develops, and the story unfolds

Is it bad that I could totally see Cynthia becoming a problem for Voldemort, ending in her and her husbands death. Which subsequently leaves their son in a broken vengeful state, that finally serves as the main characters kick in the butt to actively oppose his counterpart?

No problem, would you mind maybe having a conversation author to author? I‘m currently working on something and your style of writing and thinking really got the juices flowing

I read everything in one sitting, and I’m utterly baffled at how good this is! It’a been a while since I found a good hp fic

Knife*

My man, your LITERALLY one of the best fanfic authors I’ve ever encountered. From your story telling, grammatical skill and pacing to the entertaining and honestly refreshing concepts and main characters! But you end up dropping your stories rather fast, something I can relate to. I feel like you treat your stories like one would relationships, where you fall in love with it, spend hours of tireless effort and pining after all these amazing concept and feelings that come so easily. But the you fall out of love, and all those things that came so easy, just feel like the worlds biggest chore. Then it’s on to your next crush and the cycle repeats itself. If you enjoy doing this, then by all means continue to do so and enjoy your mini verses! But if you wish to perhaps learn to commit to a story, and craft a universe that you won’t fall out of love with? Contact me. A quick idea, would be to create a jump fic. Where the same main character would travel to different worlds and build different power builds, and he wouldn’t be able to bring the power he acquired in one world to the next unless he completes all the objectives. That way you could easily “wipe” the character if you so wish, by penalizing him from either not being able to or not bothering to complete the objectives. But you could also bring for example his skill set from Naruto to dxd. It could also be that if he completes all the objectives, instead of getting a complete skillset, he would get a “perk” that followed him into the next adventure

*Mix and match

Is this your fanfic?

This genuinely has potential! Make sure you don’ fall into the trap of unnecessary deaths, but it would be rather interesting to see him develop more of a reckless streak due to this safety net! I don’t know if you’ve read “A Custom-Made demon lord” but his system follows Thea same principles as your proposed editing skill. It would also benefit you to change the system currency from BP (blood points) to something more in line with Danmachi. As the blood points hint in a more vampiric direction if that makes sense. Perhaps it could be vital energy instead?

So the bold text got coded as I posted it so the B´s you see are meant to be text in bold hahaha