So far I think the story is ok but I think it Jumps around too much and this makes it difficult to focus on the setting of each scene but I can see that this is an introduction that is supposed to show us different things that will come together later so I do not mind. overall I feel this chapter was rushed but I hope the next one takes more time and has better pacing.

coming soon (friday or saturday)

i started with the past tense because those events had already happened but rest was a present tense, if i wrote it all in present tense i cant establish what is past and part of this chapter takes place in the past and then i did a time skip to the future.