Panqiuyan

You have a potentially good story. I would suggest you write a bit of world-building because I am confused about the setting of the story. is it in China or somewhere else? I would like to see descriptions of places and characters. I also would advise you to look up how to write in the active tone of voice instead of passive. this story has some grammar issues. other than that keep up the good work.

I think you meant to write she instead of he

I would suggest you put a period after questioning and capitalize the I in if it might be easier to read the paragraph

need a sperate line for I merely nodded because it sounds like the mc is saying it instead of the police

this has a lot of commas I would suggest maybe rewrite

You have a decent story so far. I enjoy reading it. I want to know if the story happens in the present or is it set in a futuristic setting? I would suggest you describe the places and people a bit.

thank you

Thank you i will keep that in mind

A very nice plot in your story Characters is unique. I would suggest you give a bit more information on the setting. Sentence structures need to work on and grammars

lovely story. i like the concept. keep working on it..........................................................................................................................................