If you can mentally correct the poor editing I would consider this a decent story. As a very basic rule 4 sentences should make 1 paragraph. If the author doesn't have access to an editor and English is a second language for them, I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT VERY BASIC RULE. Also quotation marks go at the beginning and end when a character speaks. Seriously Author just look at other stories on this site, they have paragraphs.

Good fan-fic so far. Keep up the good work. I'm interested to see how you handle the story going forward. 8-)

So far this is a great book that has been enjoyable to read. The grammar and spelling has been excellent. I really hope that this author continues to post more chapters. It would be a shame if the story stopped at ch 60. 8-)