from 12 am to 12 am for 7 days a week I think since 996 means from 9 am to 9 pm 6 days a week

Doesn't seem quite practical compared to genjutsu since you still have to overpower the opponent's chakra network to bloodbend them. Maybe you could try to make something like Hidan to make the concept work

So far it's alot better now the only problems left are the weird spaces within paragraphs and periods aside from that it's readable

my only real problem with this story is that please use any grammar application. My eyes hurt after reading the first chapter.