damdidum
Just a regular everyday normal mothaf****r~
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he is not a murder hobo, just a man in a childs body that saw his parents murdered and had the power to kill back
I hope you don't nerf Haki in this because he has laws's body and could easily train himself in it. You could also just use Haki in a way to put spiritual pressure on people without going into soul reaper problems.I don't think you have really explored what people can do in one piece and what kind of special moves they have without devil fruits for combat.armament haki can be pretty devastating if used correctly even without weapon.
MC really wants to meet x men for no apparent reason. It doesn't matter if he has all the things he already has. It got annoying very quickly when the MC constantly reminds himself that he wants to meet them for no other reason just to have a fight/spar.Sadly the novel isn't that good despite gamer abilities and the dialogues seem to be a bit forced at this point.Furthermore I'm a straight guy, nothing wrong with gay people but I like peter parker straight.
Even though I know it's marvel but it feels like a completely different world.I'm not sure why but the original Author turned marvel into a cliche xianxia novel and somehow elevated china as well as completely fuck up magic and sorcery while at it and turned every marvel character into dumb side character.It even has the audience that comments on MC's every action.
Author seems to have forgotten about soul rings and how important it is to have a soul ring in soul land. MC is a depressed kid that often falls into crippling depression. (it makes me fall into depression tho) forced romance out of no where, illogical how aphrodisiac was in the kitchen and many other plot holes. I read too many times how the MC will find a way to grow strong but he spent months with a girl while planning nothing. Idk what's going on with this story but author you either need to stick 3rd pov or 1st pov, I can't read 3 paragraph with multiple povs and not feeling like burning a hole through my brain. I would recommend reading the novel thoroughly and then rewrite it. you need to know that the caravan conversation, forced romance and pregnancy and a protagonist who only thinks about being strong but does nothing other than spending time with a girl will lower your own fanfics worth. If you instead made him hard working hunter with amazing senses and a sense of responsibility it would have been completely different, he could have soul rings, have fighting experience and what not. I say all this because the idea of an archer is awesome when no one does it. you already differentiated from other but other plots ruined a lot of the story
rather good but the author had no need for hp x dc crossover. Dc has multiple sources of power has added benefit of non interference when using magic with tech around. The crossover didn't make much sense since MC is a squib. Just make a somewhat rich guy with armor or normal person with magic and armor....
I still don't understand why other characters allowed him to touch their faces so easily? even if he has some sort of pull towards him they should be more cautious ya know.. It's still good, confusing though and cringe.
unnatural way of writing and cringe worthy lines. The way characters are introduced in the beginning is weird. Even the rewritten chapters. Some grammatical and structure issues but otherwise its readable. If you have nothing to read and want to pass some time by reading something unconventional, than this is for you.
The idea was good until the displaced MC forgot that Tony stark is a big name in marvel. I have so manu things that I want to correct the author about but it would probably take a lot of time to correct each chapter. example, hell's kitchen is pretty prominent in marvel. How can the MC not know that there are threats out their in the world? Unfortunately, a good idea went to trash... Last chapter shield was properly introduced but MCU shield is Hydra and MC's wife asks him to join it, despite having his memories.... If this isn't stupidity then I don't know what is.
isn't shield Hydra? shouldn't they both know that?
Why didn't he just ask ROB for werewolf powers? There quite a few powerful ones in movies and animes. I read everything up till the MC reached his house and I have to say. IT made zero sense what so ever. ROB gave him ID and money but no house and car? Everything just seems so.... incomplete. How desperate one must be to blackmail people for the bite.. Still, the writing was easily readable and minimum grammatical errors
idk. They look too sci-fi and edgy for some reason