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This one. Beacuse if he grew up in Minas Tirith he would be a litle bit outside of Westeros storyline.
In this case direwolfs are representing people not House Stark itself.
But a country's map shape can be different from it's real shape(exp Russia).
But marriage with vassals house happened. Benjen gonna marry Dacey Mormont. Their children will have Stark blood(magical blood).Then their grand children gonna have it to . Even if they are girls when they marry member of some other house stark blood will pass on. Starks should married to their vassals houses. There should be lots of magic in their blood to.