Mus69

idk if its just me but in the first sentence you used the same phrase twice and it just sounds awkward. An example of a better alternative is: "Thank you" Theo mumbled (or expressed) to the cashier...

Tis but a scratch.

the cave have -> the cave gave

These flags make the story a bit too predictable at timed

The dialogue and interactions in this book alway flows quite well, great work author.

The author wrote that the spatial perception only allows him to see a few centimeters around him in chapter 87.

I like hell trap tho, honestly Noah's naming sense isn't that bad.

I think the name is good, it's practical.

disappear>disappoint

For example using description to show how a character is feeling (maybe facial expressions or body language) which lets the reader use their own imagination to draw conclusions rather than telling us James thoughts directly. I'm not a author nor an expert at writing stories so the author can ignore about whatever I'm saying or reflect on it. Its up to them in the end.