timepiece94
love pizza and bugers picked up reading recently
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Singularity would have worked better than uniqueness
I forget when did he get that?
Imperial smile to charm people.
It's interesting I don't hate it has potential yielding eye which critique at this moment would be his relationship with Karama and the fact karma is women now I also don't care for gender bent characters from the original but I will wait to pass judgment on that until I get further along. I wish Naruto and Karama's relationship was more friendly than what you have. closer to the real thing. They should be partners friends brothers. But so far it is too soon to make any real judgment calls
sounds like alchemy.
I wish you'd stop breaking the fourth wall it's like the main character is explaining to the reader and it's not good It breaks the flow of the story. And personally just ruins it for me I like to see the main character make decisions without explaining them or going into details about um I like to find out later in the story why what the story was about what the decision he made. Hope this helps hope it makes sense I just don't know how to explain it very well just when you break the fourth wall and have your main character break story that's why I can put it to talk to the reader it just ruins it breaks the flow of the story you can't really enjoy the story because he's not really Doing anything but explaining to the reader instead of pushing forward in the story or moving forward in the story it's like taking a giant pause And then going somewhere else and it just doesn't go well
what is M.phill?
what is pasiot?
Hey I was arrested I'm at the Police station come and help me sort this out.
pack members
thanks I was confused.
who is jessy?
what is his aspect again? I took a break and just picked it up again.
silver Tongue sounds better.