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DJ87

DJ87

Lv15
2017-11-01 JoinedGlobal
995.2h

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76
  • DJ87
    DJ871yr
    Commented

    There's a small hidden clause there..... (First kiss with you that is)

    "oh, what a coincidence it was my first too"
    altalt
    The Conquerors Path
    Fantasy · Chaosking
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ871yr
    Replied to DJ87

    Of course not. Reader's immersion to the story is important. However, it should be more interesting. Since your MC is not a clueless newbie but someone who was reincarnated, use it to your advantage. Slip a bit of flashback or side story to how he gained the knowledge/skill, or his experience mastering skill under his master's tutelage. Add a bit of humor or jokes to make the lengthy explanation easy on the eye. For example, when the two elders were trying to break the array, slip some humor about how the array almost burned his beard, or instead of merely stating the darkness is hard to combine with any elements, try putting some experience of how he almost died by combining it with other elements before. Then again, it's just my own personal view. I hope you won't be offended by my comments. I know it's not easy to write a good story. It's just my own personal preference in a story. Other readers might like your way of writing. Keep up the good work and you'll definitely get there. Apologies if my comments offended you

    altalt
    Reincarnation Of The Strongest Spirit Master
    Fantasy · ranmaro
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ871yr
    Posted

    The book started really good at first. The ideas were interesting and engaging at first. However, as the story progresses, I feel the author is becoming too long winded in explaining simple things that won't really matter in the long run. Author also likes to overexplain learning of skills that won't really be useful or meaningful in the future as well. Sadly I have to drop this story after 72 chapters.

    altalt
    Reincarnation Of The Strongest Spirit Master
    Fantasy · ranmaro
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ871yr
    Commented

    He has got to be one of the dumbest MC in history. You know that there's two guys stronger than you, and yet you're willing to risk losing your precious immortal qi and risk endangering yourself in a prolonged fight. Killing/disabling your enemies as fast as possible is always the best way to achieve victory.

    Ch 592 No way out
    altalt
    Life Changing System
    Fantasy · Genrei
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ871yr
    Commented

    Do they have Jolls Joyce too?

    It was a Jolex watch store, a brand that Roland was familiar with. It was one of the most known watch brands around the world after all.
    altalt
    Face-Slapping System
    Urban · StiffStick
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ871yr
    Commented

    I believe you mean,It was so addictive

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Martial God Gamer
    Eastern · CrazeNovel
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    First and foremost, the idea of having a system for this kind of setup is unique and new. However, there is an over reliance on the MC having the system to justify whatever that happens in the story. I mean, come on, how did he suddenly get the share of a Fortune 500 company. And there is not even a scene of the MC being surprised by the system or any other explanation or goals of the system. If the author had explain that the MC is familiar with a system through novel etc, then it makes sense. But the MC is someone who had been struggling his whole life and usually people who struggled had problem trusting something especially when it is too good to be true. It had potential but author is too much in a hurry to write that a lot of important events such as discovery of the system is neglected.

    Ch 7 This Is Our Boss! Got it?
    altalt
    Stepmother: I Am Asked To Give A Kidney To My Half-Brother
    Urban · Wind's Mark
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    And so they all shall fall. Like dominoes.....

    Ch 8 First slave
    altalt
    The All-Conquering system
    Urban · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    Author san is obviously trying to make us feel like Layla here..... Stopping just at the right moment..... We want moooore!!!!

    Ch 7 First time
    altalt
    The All-Conquering system
    Urban · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    Thanks for the awesome chapter

    Ch 5 Big interruption
    altalt
    The All-Conquering system
    Urban · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Posted

    A well written story . It leaves me wanting more. It is very apparent that the writter put a lot of effort in making it such an enjoyable read. Kudos to the writer.

    altalt
    The All-Conquering system
    Urban · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    Awesome chapter. Loving the storyline so far

    Ch 4 Completing missions in rapid succession
    altalt
    The All-Conquering system
    Urban · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    Awesome story so far. Keep it up

    Ch 1 The All-Conquering System
    altalt
    The All-Conquering system
    Urban · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    Awesome chapter bro

    Ch 101 Classroom sex once again
    altalt
    The hypnotizer
    Urban · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    Awesome chapter aa usual. Thanks

    Ch 100 Passionate sex with Diana
    altalt
    The hypnotizer
    Urban · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Posted

    Such a shame that an interesting story like this is ruined by such a bad translation. And the details are mixed up as well. At first it saya the bloodline maxed up at level 20,but the next chapter the bloodline is only level 10. Deleted from library

    altalt
    My Maids Are All Antagonists!
    Fantasy · Ultimate Guaiguaipi
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    Niece? Wasn't Eve his cousin?

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Reincarnated With The Strongest System
    Fantasy · Elyon
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    Gotta catch em all?

    "I choose… you!" William shouted as he took out the gifts that Sancus gave him in exchange for accepting his proposal. "Go! Pocket Cubes!"
    altalt
    Reincarnated With The Strongest System
    Fantasy · Elyon
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    Really?!!!!

    Nevertheless, plants did like to drink beer.
    altalt
    My Passive Skills are Invincible!
    Sci-fi · Ultimate Guaiguaipi
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    Commented

    Jail is just another room huh? That's one of the top ten reasons lolicon ends up in jail. Along with: Age is just a number Love knows no age Love is blind .. .. .. Continue 😂

    "Jail is just another room, Big Brother," Lily shook her head in disappointment. "You may have the money, wealth, and love of every person in your world, Big Brother, but, if you don't have a Loli then your life will be incomplete."
    altalt
    Reincarnated With The Strongest System
    Fantasy · Elyon
    detail