Xyves
Writing
of reading
549
Read books
the correct name to use here would be Isaiah since Valper doesn't know him under the name Kiba
My Review will probably change in the near future or with more Chapters but I recommend you to use an App/Site/program to grammar check your text. I Dropped Chapter 8 into "Grammarly" the site I use, and it found a bit over 100 Mistakes within a 1014 Wort Chapter. 46 of which you could fix with the free version and within probably 3 Minutes of Work, the rest would need the Premium Version so don't mind them for now. I HIGHLY Recommend you to use a site to check your Grammar.
first time in his life? he already went outside last weekend to summon boss monsters though?
The Writing Quality is okay, i have seen WAY worse but also better. The Story's Progress is all over the Place. Sometimes its rushing stuff and other times it's just dropping random knowledge to fill 2 or 3 chapters in. There are quite a few things that get explained with ridiculous reasons or no reasons at all. The Character of the Main Char jumps between 2 or 3 different "Personalitys" and the Story has no Concept for Time at all.
Maybe the MC can "gift" the spear to the Father of the kid in return for a favor. Like supporting him or something like that. Otherwise, it wouldn't be so great to have the finance minister against you because you stole their Family heirloom. Syrin has a blacksmith who could make him a few spears anyway.
i really like the story so far. but please give Mu Wuying a few moments of happiness. i mean a spirit of love should deserve a bit love. and if im not wrong his villa still has a few empty rooms so he should be able to protect her. if he develops a relationship with her doenst matter much to me but at least give her the right to choose what she wants.