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I am by no means an expert, I just try to point out the ones I catch in case the authors decide to fix them it improves the story for someone else. I mean if you ever try a story that is only machine translated they can be very rough. You basically develop dyslexia trying to read them.
tread or treaded, they are both the same word one is just past tense. What I was correcting was the use of ‘the’ in the second sentence which was supposed to be ‘they’. sorry if I caused any confusion.
Daniel?
I guess this is a regional thing lunch being a noon/mid-day meal for me. Both supper and dinner being later evening meals; breakfast, brunch, lunch, supper, dinner.
I saw but didn’t want to go back and search for this comment at the time. Besides it was a genuine question and to me the author continuously omits information that can be explained in the moment.
What I meant was he is in a cave and he needs Stone and Wood for the hatchet. I can see plenty of stones in the vicinity but how common is wood in caves?
Sheets and pillows(cushions to be exact) from an office building….? Not that they can’t but it seems uncommon. Why not say he had stored them and brought them out. He has spent a couple of weeks traveling and he hasn’t thought of this?
I know you described a more human/fairy but the first that came to mind was Navi from Zelda.
It never made sense from the beginning, the MC: ‘I think this is somehow a game…..’ proceeds to walk away from the building that might have some of the answers…. What?! There were even a couple of potential justifications; gather thoughts away from danger, zombies so less population equals less zombies, increase levels before returning to investigate, but none of these were used. The ‘brilliant idea’, let me figure out how far the effect goes, well now he found out. I don’t understand how this was supposed to make the MC seem smart.
I’m not requesting that you change it just commenting; “Basic Apprentice” sounds like he has at least some knowledge of the skills/techniques required and though that might be true for some (forage/fishing) others seem very unlikely (blacksmith/alchemist). ‘Unskilled’ or ‘Untrained’ apprentice makes a little more sense to me but I understand that it probably goes with some naming convention you’ve established.