Mostly poetry written by me or poetry I find to be good. I’m looking for ways to improve and am looking forward to suggestions. Thanks!

Teenage girl Terumi Tekoma struggles with her day to day life for the sole reason of bullying. 




Waking up in the morning 
How I wish it weren’t true 
I wish it would stop,
The pain....

A collection of amateur poetry written during my dramatic teenage. 

It is a short, easily digestible book.
Do leave your comments and feedback in the chapters.

I would love to have a better understanding of my readers. 
Do look forward to the sequel of this collection of poetry which will be shortly published.

A collection of cliche poems illustrating the struggles of a dramatic teenager.

Everyone had clearly seen her hand clutching the bloodied brick, and now this "killer" was trying to convince people to save him. Nobody could keep up with Feng Zhiwei's strange train of thought.
"I am only a poor man," Feng Zhiwei patted the dust off her hand and the young master at the front of the crowd took a large step back. "I don't have any money to pay the doctor, so I won't crowd this area. This young man is hurt badly, please everyone, hurry."
And after that, Feng Zhiwei smiled and waved at the stunned and amazed crowd before calmly turning around and walking away.
A cold wind blew past and her clothes stuck to her back and chilled her.
With just a few more steps, she would disappear from their view…
"Pa, Pa, Pa."
Three leisurely claps filled the air and ended the strange silence.
Feng Zhiwei looked back and saw two men sitting on handsome horses nearby, followed by a group of Yamen runners.
A teenage youth wearing a beautiful bright purple robe sat on the white horse on the left, and some childishness still remained on his handsome face. His staring eyes were like black pearls and were set in an intense gaze.
On the black horse next to him, another man looked down at her casually. He wore a moon white robe decorated with a light cyan colored pattern, complementing his gorgeous face like a beam of moonlight falling upon a beautiful mountain, the radiance and beauty completing each other. His cloak was black, with a huge, light gold Mandara Flower embroidered on it. His was a glamourous and contradictory beauty, cold and alluring.
His eyes were calm and steady like the tranquil surface of a deep lake as he looked over at Feng Zhiwei.
Feng Zhiwei's mouth wrinkled into an awkward smile - she had just promised him that she wouldn't kill or get into trouble, and now they had met again in this situation.
And this time was even worse; she had "assaulted" someone on the street and cracked someone's head.
For better or for worse, she was still a lady born into a noble family and hardly ever misbehaved. Why was it that every time he was around an accident would happen? Was their fate really so bad?
The teenage youth glared wide eyed, pointing at Feng Zhiwei and stammering, "You —— You..."
Feng Zhiwei's heart sank a little, and she knew that they must have seen her holding the bloodied brick. It would not be easy to escape unpunished.
The teenager had watched as Feng Zhiwei destroyed the murder weapon and turn around to escape, but for some reason, when he looked into Feng Zhiwei's calm and angry eyes, the words he opened his mouth to say stuck in his throat.
He looked to his Sixth Brother for help and noticed the strange gaze that his composed brother had as he examined the killer.
The man on the black horse cut his brother off with a gentle rap against the side of his golden horse saddle with his horse whip. "What happened?"
"Prince!" The young masters rushed forward as if to their savior, but stopped a distance away from the horses. "Young Master Wu was killed!"
Feng Zhiwei's heart sank even deeper. A Young Master Wu was definitely a direct descendant of the Fu Guo Duke's family. Feng Hao was actually able to mingle with these children and had made such a big mess!
And as for this man she'd met three times now. What prince was he? Rumors said that the Crown Prince was unpredictable; the Second Son was domineering and loved martial arts, and the Fifth Son was cold and hard to approach. The Sixth Son was on the Crown Prince's side and famous for his gorgeous appearance and forceful and unrestrained character. The Seventh Son was close to the Fifth Son and had a good reputation in both the Imperial Court and commonalty, and was also the first son to be titled Prince. The Tenth Son was still young and no one knew much about him.
From his age, he must be either the Sixth or Seventh Son.
"Idiot." The man's eyes cocked with disdain and he gestured with his horse whip towards the still figure on the ground. "You can't even tell whether a man is dead or not?"
The crowd of people immediately rushed over to Young Master Wu's side to check on him, and a couple of them carried him to the doctor. The Commander of the Jiu Cheng[1] Capital Guards in charge of Dijing public security rode horse to the man's side and frowned. "Who is the killer?"
"Him!" Everyone pointed at Feng Zhiwei.
Feng Zhiwei's face showed great surprise and she stepped backwards in wide eyed innocence. "I'm just a curious pedestrian and was unwittingly involved in this. You are blaming me without reason! I am innocent!"
"Since you didn't know to avoid this suspicious position when the accident happened, you still deserve the trouble that comes to you." That man looked down from his horse and cut Feng Zhiwei off with his fluent words.
She lifted her eyes and met his gaze. One was cautious and the other was cold; after a moment, Feng Zhiwei looked down and avoided his gaze.
The circumstances were more powerful that her, and even if she could come up with many smart things to say, it was not the best time for her to show off.
That man was truly too difficult to read, but in the end, his words till defended her a little.
The commander struggled for a moment before bowing to the man, "Prince, I have to explain this matter to Fu Guo Duke, and this man is our suspect..."
The looked down at Feng Zhiwei and asked indifferently, "You say that you are being framed. Can you testify to who the real killer is?"
Feng Zhiwei paused and all kinds of thoughts ran through her mind. She ground her teeth together and ultimately decided against giving up Feng Hao. Nothing good would come out of it. It would be to pull out the radish and bring up the mud. For one, her cover as a footboy in the brothel would be revealed, and the Qiu Mansion might also take a move and drop a stone down the well, adding insult to injury and kicking her family while they were down. And ultimately, she wasn't confident that her mother would her daughter over her son.
Her heart soured a little, but her face was calm. She pointed to an area behind her and smiled honestly, "I saw a man whose hand was covered in blood jump over that wall and run west."
The teenage youth on the white horse choked and couldn't stop coughing. The man on the black horse turned to look at him. The teenager smiled awkwardly, "eh... Sixth Brother, it's nothing. The wind was too strong."
Sixth Brother... he really was the Emperor's Sixth Son, Prince Chu Ning Yi, and that teenage boy who coughed because of the wind was the Tenth Son, Ning Ji.
The Capital had a line of poetry, "The early cherry blossom blooms on the tip of the tree and opens up to the shining Southern Skies of blue." It spoke about Ning Yi, titled Prince Chu[2]. 
Among all the sons of the Emperor, the most famous one was not always the Crown Prince, and was also not the Seventh Son who was now often called the most virtuous prince. It was the precocious Sixth Prince. When he was born, someone in the Imperial Palace had heard music from the sky, but this rumor didn't bring him luck. A couple months later, his mother died and he quietly disappeared from the limelight. The Empress adopted him, but after some time and for an unknown reason, she gave him to her remotely related cousin - Imperial Noble Consort Chang.
The stories went that Ning Yi had started speaking very late. He had only spoken his first sentence when he was three, but that belated sentence was like a key that opened the doors of wisdom. When he was five, he solved the Grand Master's Zhen Long Chess problem, and by the time he was seven he had faced off in a poetry competition against the most gifted scholar of the time, Xin Ziyan. In the time it takes to make a cup of tea[3] , he had composed "Sheng Feng Fu." Grand Wind Fu was a magnificent, thousand characters long Fu, at once delightful and majestic, and incredibly beautiful. The eccentric Xin Ziyand had struck the table in surprise and decided to befriend the young Ning Yi despite the age difference, and soon after, he accepted the imperial invitation and became the headmaster of the number one academy. Ning Yi was famous. 
[1] Nine City
[2] Chu skies = south skies
[3] Many of you are probably familiar with this idiom. It refers more specifically to 10 or a little over 14 minutes. (14.4)


Dynasties rise and dynasties fall, like the tide washing the sand.

On one side, he suffers from intrigue and hides his great ambition; on the other, the mysterious girl hides her anger behind her gentle smile.

Who toppled the country, establishing their dynasty?

Who built the Yellow Springs and set it over Imperial Power, inciting strife and conquering the earth?

Who exchanged gazes at the Nine Palaces to the sound of halberd and blood, watching the falling flowers of Acacia?

Who drank the poisoned wine and smiled, trading it for a cinnabar dot to the chest?

Tribulation and strife has destroyed past prosperity; he would not retreat, and she has not finished singing.

.... Is she disturbing the earth world, or is the world disturbing her?

This is a seemingly simple story about an era of recovering the old country and the fight for the throne, and the men and women on both sides.

To conquer or resist;
To push away or fight for chance.
To provoke or to still;
To love, or to refuse love.

The core principle of poetry was the usage of level and oblique tones.
As long as the same principle applied, Xu Qian's nine years of education from the future would give him an edge.
Xu Xinnian glanced at Xu Qian and raised his chin. "A bird in the sky, a worm on the ground, the bird swooped down, the worm flew up."
Xu Lingyue covered her mouth as she giggled. Xu Qian glared at her and she looked down, her cheeks pink.
'I want to punch him for spitting such poison…' Xu Qian gritted his teeth. The poem was written by the host when he was ten years old. That year, his aunt's father had come to teach the children the basics of literature.
The topic of poetry was touched upon and thus the ridiculous poem was born.
Li Ru said mockingly, "Ningyan, not that I want to look down on you but the Xu family only birthed one scholar and that is Little Nian. You and your uncle's penmanship can be equated to a squiggly worm. You want to craft a poem when you can't produce a legible writing?"
She pursed her lips and rolled her eyes as a noblewoman would.
Xu Pingzhi coughed awkwardly. "Ningyan, let's not interfere with the scholar's affairs. Today is an off day, let's train in the courtyard."
His words were a discouragement to Xu Qian, effectively telling him to stay out of the scholar's business lest he embarrassed his uncle.
Xu Qian said nonchalantly, "Thousand miles of yellow clouds darken the day."
His aunt rolled her eyes and ate her porridge.
His uncle wiped away the stains on his youngest daughter's lips.
Xu Xinnian frowned. A single sentence was not poetry but he was surprised Xu Qian could come up with such a proper seven-character sentence[1].
"The north wind stirs the geese and snow."
The line evoked a strong imagery in Xu Xinnian's mind. He was stunned.
Xu Lingyue raised her head. Her soulful eyes were transfixed on her cousin.
Xu Qian picked up his bowl of porridge and kept his lips sealed.
"What's the continuation?" Xu Xinnian asked. This was akin to a storyteller stopping at the climax of the story, a cliffhanger for everyone at the teahouse. Tune in for the next episode to know more.
It was incredibly frustrating.
"I don't know how to compose poems." Xu Qian threw a fleeting look at his aunt. She was a dignified woman with no intentions of apologizing.
Li Ru's animated eyes widened as she turned to Xu Xinnian and asked, "Is the poem good?"
Xu Lingyue replied softly, "It has an artistic flair to it." 
She had limited access to education but she could tell the poem was superb.
Xu Pingzhi was surprised by his children's responses. He turned to look at Xu Qian with a glint of hope and expectation in his eye.
Xu Qian chewed on his breadstick and effortlessly recited the last two lines of the poem. "Fear not a journey of loneliness, for you are not a stranger to the realm."
The chopsticks in Xu Xinnian's hand fell onto the table.
He repeated the lines and felt himself being enchanted by the poem's meaning.
Xu Lingyue shuddered as goosebumps appeared on the back of her hand.
Xu Pingzhi bit his lip and said, "Man, the poem gave me the chills."
Li Ru was in concordance with her husband but a part of her still disapproved of Xu Qian.
Poetry could elicit a reaction even in those outside the craft. One did not need to know about the level and oblique tones to appreciate the beauty of a poem that had been passed on for centuries.
Xu Qian understood their wonderment as he was once similarly taken aback by the rich poetry that filled his language textbook.
"Thousand miles of yellow clouds darken the day. The north wind stirs the geese and snow. Fear not a journey of loneliness, for you are not a stranger to the realm."
Xu Xinnian rose from his seat as a red blush colored his cheeks. The color made the handsome young man look charming.
The poem was exceptional!
Although poetry was not his strong suit, as a scholar, one was inclined to drink and wax poetic with other scholars. Good poetry would get them hammering a beat and rhythm as they sang passionately.
"Wh-When did you learn to compose poems?" Xu Xinnian stared at Xu Qian with bright, curious eyes.
Xu Qian chuckled and said, "I never said I couldn't. The poem from ten years ago cannot represent my skills today. I've always had talent for poetry but I never showcased it."
"So Ningyan was scholar material. If I had known, I would have sent you to study and Cijiu to martial arts lessons," Xu Pingzhi said with a grin.
His wife was unhappy with the situation but could not think of any smart retorts.
'No, if that had happened, none of us would have succeeded in life.' Xu Qian knew the host was a horrible student who would rather do hard labor.
Xu Xinnian also had no talent for martial arts. He was a delicate and frail boy who would not be able to handle the strenuous physical training that occasionally even involved weapons.
"Well, Ningyan wrote this poem. Cijiu, I'm sure you'll come up with your own. Copying is not a scholar's way," Xu Pingzhi said.
Xu Xinnian let out a huff, annoyed that his father thought he would plagiarize. He turned to Xu Qian and said, "Can I borrow your poem? I will name you as the poet."
'More like the plagiarizer.' Xu Qian nodded. "Go on, show it off."
A scholar's work had to be witnessed and acknowledged by others.
Xu Qian had intended for Xu Xinnian to use the poem to impress the Confucian elder. He cared not about who gets the writing credits.
Xu Qian was not a scholar so the poem was not useful to him. It was also why he did not use his literature knowledge for the past month.
His working environment was not suited for poetry.
He spent his day with a bunch of sword-wielding, gun-toting constables. Reciting poems to them was useless, he might as well teach them to sing 'The Lasso Boy'.
"The title of the poem?" Xu Xinnian asked.
Xu Qian froze. He had forgotten the title. "This poem is from my heart and has no name. Just speak it as such."
…
When breakfast was over, Xu Xinnian came out from the backyard with his father's favorite horse and rushed off for the farewell. Uncle and nephew engaged in sparring in the courtyard.
"Good. Your moves have improved. The next step would be Qi training. Qi requires the heavens and earth to interact for its birth." Xu Pingzhi took the towel offered by the servant and wiped his sweat. "Besides a herbal bath, you'll have to find someone with seventh-rank divinity to open Heaven's Gate. Else, you will never be able to unlock your Qi."
Divinity was the seventh rank in the path of a martial artist.
Xu Qian wiped his forehead and asked, "Uncle, what are you saying?"
"After the Battle of Shanhai Pass, my sacrifice and merit earned me a favor from the army's expert who opened the Heaven's Gate, allowing me to enter the realm of Qi. A year after the battle, I had Xinnian," Xu Pingzhi sighed. "The world today is peaceful, hence there'll be less chance for you to prove your worth. How will you achieve Qi training? Will you not marry and build a family? Ningyan, I'm getting old. My only wish is to see you married with children, only then will I be able to face your late father."
"One step at a time, uncle," Xu Qian replied half-heartedly.
Other than earning merit and proving his worth, money was also a viable option.
The herbs and the expert could be bought with money.
The imperial courts had strict control over the numbers of martial artists as they could use their skills for crime. The laws dictate the seventh-ranked divinity experts were not allowed to open the Heaven's Gate for any random person. They had to report to the courts even if they were doing it for their son.
However, the moral fabric of Dafeng was thin at that time. Corruption was rampant among the officials and the imperial courts' power wanes with each passing day. While no one dared to break the law in broad daylight, several experts offered their services in the black market.
Xu Qian just had to make enough money—the silvers would be equivalent to a meritorious deed.
Otherwise, he would forever be stuck in the refinement state while his penis wilted away.
His aunt brought her daughters over. They stood under the roof of the corridor. "The sun is out today, why don't you take Lingyin and Lingyue out to the markets?"
Xu Pingzhi frowned. "I have something on."
"Isn't today a rest day?"
"I'm meeting some colleagues soon. How about Ningyan take them out?"
The daughters of families with a literary reputation were closely guarded and not allowed to roam as they pleased.
The Xu family was a martial arts family, therefore the sisters' upbringing was not as strict.
Xu Qian turned around and met the clear and bright eyes of his teenage cousin. Appearance-wise, Xu Lingyue had surpassed her mother and more. She chewed her lip and looked away shyly.
He nodded and said, "I have nothing on anyways."
'I once brought a 16-year-old girl out shopping in my previous life. I was in my prime at the age of 18. Of course, the girl in my memories is not comparable to Xu Lingyue.'
[1] A seven-character quatrain is a form of poetry.


Once a police academy graduate—Xu Qian, woke up and found himself in jail. He was to be banished to the borderlands in three days...
Stuck in this inhumane society, his initial goal was just to be a rich man and pass his days in relative safety.
…
Many years later, Xu Qian recalled the events of the past. His enemies and friends were dead, there was nothing of them left but bones.
The rolling Yangtze River flows east as the waves wash away the heroes. 
Success or failure, wrong or right; matters little, it might?
The lush mountains remain while the sun sets every night.


Dreams are realities, hidden within another world.
To there, I must go, and see everything I saw when I was asleep. 

Glistening and shining brightly, my hopes I sought when I was but a child. 
Mild wishing to be like my mother, gentle and kind, and mindful of others.

There in my world of dreams, I also see my tears from my teenage years.
Young men rising up before me, taunting me.
"Here she is. One who didn't deserve my attention", One said.

"I left her. I told her that my ambitions for her grew old. She is nothing but a girl, caught in useless reveries."

"She brings no completion of beauty to this world."

Teardrops fell from my eyes, I could remember clearly, these words said to me when I was younger.
They tore me apart and struck my spirit, as if lighting came down from the sky; And hit me. 

I slowly walked away reflecting this past.
At last, to a more recent part of my dreams, I came.
I saw myself through a picture frame, writing away, spending the light of the day; Immersed  in my work. 

Sighing to myself, I said while I watched: "This is all that I had. Poetry helped me through, the good and the bad. When I am sad or weighed down in feeling, I record it all here; Within this diary, both opened, and closed to me."

I remembered the pain of yesterday, and made an oath to never put aside my work.
Leaving my writing would be to leave myself behind.
I knew that it could not possibly be a bearable situation for me, without writing. 

Never leaving my mind where everything is thought from within my heart; Shall be my help and guide to greater success.

This novel is encompassed within poetry, thrillers, romance, and reality. It basically holds the content of my mind. I also write for encouragement and creativity.

This book is about what I experience in life: Negative thoughts, bad experiences, and trauma.
I use my book to record my dreams and nightmares I’ve had as well, using poetry to describe them.
It holds my thoughts and feelings which I feel every day. 

While I did not intend my novel to be completely understandable, my intentions are to relate and perhaps encourage others who like myself; Experience fierce depression.
My plan is to make the reader feel and see some of what I see and feel.


As a Christian, I seek to utilize my book to point to Christ in every difficult situation. He has helped and molded me into who I am today. Christ will deliver His children, in need of aid.

I sincerely hope this update of the synopsis, helps in your understanding of my poetry. Please let me know if you need more information. I have written some of my backstory and important information within my poems.

*For more in depth background info, please read chapter 107.

##When I first wrote this book, I did not plan on writing poetry. If I could change the category out of fan-fiction, I would.

I feel like my novel may start a bit slow, but continuing to read, it will build up and intensify.  ;)

A note: I apologize for chapter 130’s typo. When I proofread it, I saw that it had a misspelled word. 
I tried over and over again to update it, but there may be a glitch or something. I’m sorry if you see it too.
Just to clarify, I tried to write the word as “Indefatigably.”

My novel continues through chapters 162-170, which were accidentally published separately; Although they all consist equally with my book: Moving Through Life.  ;)

Karna (Sanskrit: कर्ण, IAST: Karṇa), also known as Vasusena, Anga-raja, and Radheya,[2] is one of the major characters of the Hindu epic Mahābhārata.[3][4] He is the spiritual son of the Vedic deity- Surya ("sun god") and princess Kunti (mother of the Pandavas), and thus a demigod of royal birth. Kunti was granted the boon to bear a child with desired divine qualities from the gods and without much knowledge, Kunti invoked the sun god to confirm it if it was true indeed. Karna was secretly born to an unmarried Kunti in her teenage, fearing outrage and backlash from society over her premarital pregnancy, Kunti had no choice but to abandon the newly born Karna adrift in a basket on the Ganges, in the hope that he finds foster parents.[3][5] The basket discovered and Karna is adopted and raised by foster Suta parents named Radha and Adhiratha Nandana[2] of the charioteer and poet profession working for king Dhritarashtra.[3]

Karna
Mahabharata character
Karna
A 19th-century artist's imagination of Karna

Originally unnamed; Vrushali and Supriya in later retellings[a]
Children
Sons including Vrishasena, Banasena and Vrishaketu
Relatives
Adhiratha (adoptive father)
Radha (adoptive mother)
Surya (spiritual father)
Kunti (biological mother)
Yudhishthira, Bhima, Arjuna, Nakula and Sahadeva (half-brothers)
Unnamed adoptive brothers;[1] Shon (adoptive brother) in later retellings
Karna grows up to be an accomplished warrior of extraordinary abilities, a gifted speaker and becomes a loyal friend of Duryodhana.[3][6] He was appointed the king of Anga (Bihar-Bengal)[7] by Duryodhana.[2] Karna joined the Duryodhana's side in the Kurukshetra war. He was a key warrior who aimed to kill 3rd Pandava Arjuna but dies in a battle with him during the war.[3][4]

He is a tragic hero in the Mahabharata, in a manner similar to Aristotle's literary category of "flawed good man".[8] He meets his biological mother late in the epic, and then discovers that he is the older half-brother of those he is fighting against.[6] Karna is a symbol of someone who is rejected by those who should love him but do not given the circumstances, yet becomes a man of exceptional abilities willing to give his love and life as a loyal friend. His character is developed in the epic to raise and discuss major emotional and dharma (duty, ethics, moral) dilemmas.[9][10][11] His story has inspired many secondary works, poetry and dramatic plays in the Hindu arts tradition, both in India and in southeast Asia.[9][12][13]

A regional tradition believes that Karna founded the city of Karnal, in contemporary

Man is known by his actions, not by his face

Dad was right. Mom did come around in the end, although it took her nearly a week. Despite this, Bailey still felt grateful that both her parents, as well as her brother accepted her for who she was.

That week had been agonising though, and it had felt like a million years had passed. She felt that she had nobody to talk to about it. Dad was kind, and a good listener, but he did not fully understand how it felt to be rejected by ones own mother.

That was something that only Emma would have understood, something that she should have been able to talk to Emma about, but she could not. Emma and her will still separate, and struggling to fix their relationship, and Bailey missed her friend awfully.

Although they sat together at break, neither girl said a word. Emma just ate her lunch quietly, whilst Bailey read her book. There was no conversation, no laughter, no friendly atmosphere. They were not even speaking over Whatsapp.

Mom had spent the week avoiding Bailey as much as possible and when they were together, Mom only spoke the bare minimum. Bailey understood that Mom felt embarrassed that she had "raised a gay kid". She realised that it was a source of shame for Mom and something that she did not want her friends or the rest of the family to know about.

But that was the old mind, the old stigma attached to being gay. Bailey knew that Mom expected her to become some sort of butch girl, but in reality, Bailey was quite feminine.

It was strange how Mom still believed in the old ideas of the Lgbtq+ community, especially since she considered herself to be a modern woman.

Mom seemed to think that having a gay child was an awful thing, and Bailey wondered if she should warn her mother that often, not only one sibling is gay, but all of them.

It was strange not being able to speak to Mom. She had never been very close to her mother, but now they seemed to be miles away from one another. Bailey and Mom had never really had an understanding, but now that understanding was completely non-existent.

Dad had a little chat with Mom on one evening. Bailey heard Mom shouting, then Dad's voice growing louder, until the were both shouting at each other. Bailey felt that it was her fault tat her parents were fighting. She had worried that her coming out would divide her parents, and now it seemed to have done so, but there was absolutely nothing that she could do.

The following morning, Mom had started speaking to Bailey again. She never said to Bailey that she accepted her, or admitted that she was okay with it, but Bailey was just happy that Mom was treating her as normal again. She just hoped that Mom would eventually feel comfortable talking about Bailey's sexuality.

She had felt very upset when Mom had refrained from speaking to her. Whilst she understood that Mom needed time, she could not help to feel the familiar stab of depression, etching its cruel words into her soul. Telling her that she would be thrown out, unloved, that Mom would hate her forever.

Her feelings inspired many poems to be written in that week. Her best poems always came from deep emotion. Depression was a great source of poetry, its only advantage was that, but Bailey would easily give her poetry up if it meant to lose her depression.

Loving Girls

Not sure if it's meant to be
Not sure if I should speak
Because I am afraid of what they will say
When I tell them
I am gay

How hard is it to accept?
The child you birthed and raised
It's not like we have changed
Secretly, we have always been this way

You love us if we like boys
But with girls it's a different story
Perhaps its ignorance
But it implores me
That you can hate someone for being themselves

But it was not true, because Mom was relatively back to normal now, and Bailey felt happier. It still hurt her though that Mom had acted so childishly about her sexuality, but Bailey always tried to forgive and forget. It would not help holding a grudge against her mother.

When that was sorted, Bailey turned her focus to Emma and her relationship with her.

"We need to decide what we are going to be. Friends or girlfriends. We need to make up our minds."

Bailey was surprised to hear such a determinate and confident statement coming from the mouth of her usually meek and unsure friend.

"Well, what do you want?" Bailey replied

"I know what I want, you need to make your decision, and then we can think of how to work on our relationship from there."

Once again, Bailey was surprised at the way Emma spoke. She sounded so confident, so bold, so brave. It was so different to how she usually was, and it almost frightened Bailey. She was use to being the dominant one in their relationship, but her she was taking the back seat to this decision.

"I want to be friends."

"Just friends?" Emma asked, the confidence still ringing clear in her lilted voice

"Yes, I want to be just friends. I think it is more important that we maintain our friendship than lose ourselves in a silly teenage romance that will probably not work anyway."

"I agree with you completely. I want our friendship back. The friendship that we had in the beginning... before that kiss."

"Well what are we going to do about that kiss? It is going to taint our relationship forever."

"No, we won't let it. If you want this friendship to work as much as I do, then you will want to change it. We need to make a promise to each other to never speak of it again, to never think of it, to never do it again. Ever."

"And what if we start having feelings for each other again?" Bailey asked

Bailey was worried that she would begin to have feelings for Emma again. She no longer had feelings for Emma now, it had all melted away after their friendship had begun to dwindle. It just proved how important a friendship was. How all relationships were built on friendship.  

Emma thought about the question for a moment, then answered confidently.

"Then we bury those feelings, because our relationship depends on it."

She spoke the words so loudly that Bailey was afraid that someone would hear it.

The girls were sitting in their usual spot in the passage. Emma's lunch box remained closed, and she had not touched a morsel of food. They had serious things to discuss.

"Okay. I can do it. We can do it. Do you think that our relationship is salvageable?" Bailey asked, her voice shaking, just as Emma's had done when she had asked the vital question.

"Yes. I do."

A month passed by without much incident and Scarlet was happy that she was able to walk without the help of crutches at last. The young writer had immediately signed up for weekly hip-hop dance classes with Alex when her sister expressed an interest in it.
Jasper was looking better now after learning the basics about how accounts worked. It was a very tough first two weeks as an intern with the company when he was thrown into the finance department without any knowledge about what journal entries were. Wilmer and Orita decided to sign Jasper up for some classes about basic excel uses and bookkeeping classes for beginners on the days that he wasn't working as an intern.
Orita decided to drag Scarlet along for a few sessions of martial art classes given by Claire instead of attending the boring physiotherapy classes. The head maid didn't go easy on either of her students so Orita quit after two classes while Scarlet stayed for six until she was able to run again. Wilmer forbade the maid from teaching his girls martial arts after that, fearing that they would transform into muscular swimsuit models.
For some reason, that strange development made even Wilmer excited about the band. He started talking about it to everyone. Orita wasn't any better. Everywhere these two proud parents went, they would tell everyone about their adorable children.
After showing some director and producer the video of Britannia's band practice, the children were told to submit their demo tracks for an audition. Naturally, Orita didn't hesitate to support Lin Lin when the girl brought up wanting to record their very first song in a studio. Wilmer was very busy with work so Orita took it upon herself to arrange everything with Jenna's help.
The three children were quickly measured for tailored clothing and Mrs Wilde called for Mr Leonce Le Beau to help them with the makeup and styling. Jenna arranged for professional photographers to do a private photoshoot in the penthouse's library.
Alex was most thrilled with her image that Lin Lin proposed. Mr Le Beau didn't disappoint with androgynous fashion. Jasper didn't look too different and refused all sorts of hair products when the stylist proposed it. He wanted to keep his eyes covered behind that thick wall of hair no matter what so the stylist had to relent but compromised by musing the thick straight bangs into something wavier that gave better dimension, suiting the look better. Jasper looked like a young noble vampire and perfected that mysterious vibe. Scarlet's design was a little more complicated to perfect because of her dollish features. Eventually, Lin Lin helped Le Beau decide on a lolita doll image that turned out to be a huge hit.
Wilmer cried when he saw the pictures of the photoshoot, feeling regretful that he wasn't there to witness it. He also cried when Alex told him she didn't want to wear skirts when she played the guitar. Orita had to drag her husband away to give the three children some space that evening. When Scarlet showed Debbie her photograph, the editor was pleasantly impressed by how doll-like Scarlet looked.
"I didn't think it was possible for a human to look like this... if you want to enter the entertainment industry, I think all three of you would excel very well," she smiled.
Scarlet was slightly conflicted. During the excitement of recording their first song, Scarlet started working on more lyrics even without Lin Lin's prompting. However, she wanted to listen to what Debbie had to say about it.
"Could you look over these lyrics I wrote? I don't know much about poetry but I'm hoping you might..."
Debbie looked through the five sets of lyrics and made some comments at the side.
"I think you have a very bright future more than just a writer. Your creativity knows no bounds and although you don't study literature or poetry, you did rather well on these. I can feel the raw passion coming from your heart through these words. The choice of words is explosive even if the rhyming sense is simple. All you need to take note of when writing lyrics and poems is the tempo. There are too many syllabi in the line before the chorus so unless you want to create a rap or a rushed build-up, I would recommend avoiding that."
Scarlet took down notes attentively and thanked the editor before revising the lyrics. She was excited about the band's activities. Jasper had taken to practising with them after he settled down with his internship's workload. Alex took an interest in dancing and keeping fit more than ever, even going as far as to study fashion. Orita noticed the change in her daughter who was beginning to take art out of the drawing block and canvases. If one didn't know better, they would start to think that Alex was at the age where she wanted to dress up beautifully to impress boys. Instead, Scarlet knew better. Alex was trying to transform herself into a work of art to express her artistic ideas better.
The recording session was four hours long with Jasper recording first, Alex second and Scarlet last. Lin Lin was equally excited at getting to direct a recording session for the first time. There was a very experienced sound engineer working with them in the studio who was rather impressed with the four children. Lin Lin's directing was professional and on point while all three band members worked efficiently without much drama.
A long-awaited week later, the finalised demo track was sent to the Wildes. Lin Lin was invited to listen to the end product and was very excited. Elfie had already started a live sharing session in the chatroom so that the E.C. Class and Special Class could enjoy it together.
The song's title was "False Friends" and Lin Lin decided to start it with a soft background of solemn violin with the light melody of the piano before bringing the heavy beat of drums and the high tension of guitar. Scarlet felt her heart pounding at the introduction and held her breath, not knowing how she would end up sounding in the demo track. She remembered having to sing each line repeatedly, some more than twenty times to get the best take. Lin Lin told her to leave everything else to the editors but Scarlet didn't know if it would sound good.
As the guitar dulled and the drums slowed, Scarlet's clear voice rang out and filled the room, robbing everyone's breath away with just the first verse.
Song Title: False Friends
Composed by: Lin Lin
Lyrics by: Scarlet Wilde
Performed by: Britannia

V1
She said she will not betray me
When haters come to hate me
So why is it when they come flocking
On the other side is where she's mocking?

Pre-Chorus

Trust no one, trust no one
The voices in my head were right
Trust no one, trust no one
They're all wolves in sheep disguise

Chorus

"False friends! False friends!"
The ravens cried
Why didn't I listen to their warning?
"False friends! False friends!"
The angels lied
When they said I could count on another

V2

He tells me we're in this together
That he would never tell the teacher
So why is my homework in his handwriting
While mine just a copy of his denying?

Repeat Pre-Chorus
Repeat Chorus
Bridge

Friendships are fleeting
Like flowers that bloom in spring
False friends can't hurt me more than loneliness
Is that why I continue to seek forgiveness?

Repeat Chorus
End
Unlike the children who applauded the success of that demo track, Orita and Jenna looked slightly worried when they heard the lyrics written by Scarlet. None of the adults was expecting such dark emotions and thoughts. Hearing it was worrying but nobody knew what to do about it. Bringing up the topic of seeing a psychologist might not sit well with Scarlet who was still looking very vibrant on the outside. The song spoke of teenage angst and Orita quickly brushed it aside. It might be Scarlet's puberty and teenage rebellion that influenced her to write such lyrics. She showed no other signs of being depressed so far so the heiress decided to turn a blind eye to the matter and plastered a smile on her face to congratulate the children.
Claire's eyes never left Scarlet and the head maid wondered if she should try to subtly help Scarlet out emotionally. Those insecurities that Scarlet faced would eventually turn into demons that would paralyse her if not dealt with properly in the early stages. Mrs Wilde didn't look like she wanted to do anything about it and continued pretending that everything in her family was a bed of roses. Jenna would never do anything against her mistress' wishes and Wilmer wasn't observant enough to identify the problems.
Deciding to take the gamble, Claire wondered if she should inform Orita and Wilmer about her intentions or keep it from them. Scarlet blushed under the praises of the song's success as both the vocalist and lyricist. The young writer's happiness at the acceptance made Claire hold back. She couldn't tell Orita or Wilmer... the song wasn't simply about false friends. If the Wilde's started taking action to pry into the girl's mind when she was just beginning to warm up to them, it could have the opposite effect. No, Claire would do this discreetly.
Orita and Lin Lin decided to download a copy of the song and try sending it to various entertainment companies alongside the photos taken from the photoshoot to see if Britannia can secure a debut.
Jasper didn't seem to object to the idea but Alex looked slightly uneasy with her level of proficiency with the guitar. Lin Lin assured Alex that she was good enough and only needed a little more practice. The androgynous girl smiled and agreed.
Jenna called for pizza to celebrate the very first recorded song that evening and Elfie grinned. There was never a dull day with the Wilde's.


At age 10, Scarlet Liu Xiu Wen was tested with a Mensa IQ of 156.

By age 12, she was publishing books with the pen name Permanent Frost. By age 14, she was a successful vocalist-composer in the band called Britannia. By age 16 Scarlet had a successful career as a model and actress going by the stage name of Liu Xiu Wen.

However, there was a secret that the world didn't know. Away from the limelight, Scarlet took on yet another persona online as Pirate S - the eccentric half-genius. Everyone who lurked in the forums knew her name. Known for her unusual takes on life and mostly popularly for her "Human Observation Diary" blog, Scarlet enjoys the nerd life in secret.

Human Observation Diary has always kept to a very standard format but one day, a reader pointed out that the blog has recently been differing from its usual format. Intrigued by the trigger, Scarlet investigates her latest human observation - an online NEET by the name of Jedd77.

From further interactions, Scarlet finds herself helplessly drawn to him. As their friendship develops into something more, Scarlet has to make a choice.

To give up her secrecy and allow Jedd77 to be a part of her life? Or continue the game of cat and mouse even after the face reveal.

Note: Slow progress. Talks of some darker topics in life eg: Depression, PTSD, adoption and acceptance.

Drama seekers, toxic bitches and overly-sensitive folks who cannot chillax not welcomed. Author also has indemnity to typo, grammar mistakes and English bugs throughout the story.

You have been warned. Proceed with caution and enjoy.

***

Special chapter release on other milestones, check out my discord and patreon for more details, thank you for the support!

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/destinyaitsuji
Kofi: Ko-fi.com/destinyaitsuji
Discord: https://discord.gg/UrtDMXn

Chapter 452: The Third Disciple

The nine people on the list dreamed of getting revenge. All of them desired to drink and eat the blood and flesh of their enemy.
“Hm?”
When Teng Qingshan read the eighth sheet of paper, he thought to himself, “This was suspected to be related to the Gui Yuan Sect?”
The person described on the eighth sheet of paper was named Xue Xin, a citizen of Wuan County in Yangzhou. In Wuan County-City, the Xue Clan had been an ancient and great clan with a history of two to three hundred years. However, when it came to the generation of Xue Xin’s father, Xue Chengdao, the Xue Clan only had three men: Xue Xin; Xue Xin’s father; and Xue Xin’s Second Uncle.
Xue Xin was the only son!
Xue Xin had lived his childhood and teenage days leisurely. Due to his father’s influence, Xue Xin had loved to read starting from a young age. In Wuan County-City, Xue Xin was a famous and gifted scholar! However, at the age of 16, his father, Xue Chengdao had obtained a treasure, which was said to be a poetry manuscript written by the Poetic Sword God, Li Taibai. It was the Flowing Cloud Manuscript!
Li Taibai was an Omnipotent Expert.
In the literary circles, Li Taibai’s status was transcendent. His poetry manuscript was definitely worth over ten thousand Gold. To someone who loved poems, this Flowing Cloud Manuscript was definitely as important as his life.
“To think that Xue Chengdao actually acquired the poetry manuscript of the Poetic Sword God Li Taibai,” Teng Qingshan praised, “However, it’s such a pity that he ran into misfortune because of this!”
After Xue Chengdao obtained the Flowing Cloud Manuscript, he’d kept it carefully.
Unfortunately, under the influence of alcohol, his brother, Xue Chengqian, had accidentally revealed the Flowing Cloud Manuscript to others, boasting proudly to his friends about it. It was precisely what he revealed under the influence of alcohol which attracted the attention of the poetry enthusiast, Zhao Fu who was also the nephew of the provincial official of Wuan County-City. On that very same day, Zhao Fu visited Xue Residence and offered to pay a huge price for the Flowing Cloud Manuscript.
If the Xue Clan had sold the Flowing Cloud Manuscript, then everything would have been fine.
However, Xue Chengdao viewed the Flowing Cloud Manuscript as important as his life. How could he sell it? He tactfully rejected Zhao Fu’s offer, claiming that he did not possess the Flowing Cloud Manuscript and that his brother had merely been boasting lies due to the influence of alcohol!
“This person named Zhao Fu is ruthless!” Teng Qingshan commented. The next few sentences on the sheet of paper sent a chill to Teng Qingshan’s heart. ‘Three days later, the soldiers of Wuan County-City arrested and incarcerated Xue Chengdao and Xue Chengqian. Then the next day, the Xue Clan was falsely accused of being the devious surviving members of Tie Yi Hall. All the men, women, and children of Xue Clan, a total of eighteen people, were arrested and executed. However, Xue Xin alone managed to escape.’
As Teng Qingshan read the few lines of words, he sighed inwardly.
In front of a tyrant of Qing Hu Island, a rich and wealthy family was not considered anything great. Just the label of being the ‘devious surviving members of Tie Yi Hall’ had been enough to get them all killed.
Three months after the execution of the entire Xue Clan, a major event which astounded the entire Wuan County had occurred...
A huge poisoning case had occurred in the residence of Wuan County’s provincial official.
87 people in the entire Provincial Official Residence had died. Yet, Zhao Fu had not been poisoned to death. Still, the deaths of so many people had infuriated the Provincial Official of Wuan County City. Immediately after, an investigation had been conducted. In the end, the result of the investigation showed that the culprit of this poisoning case was the delicate-looking teenager, Xue Xin... It was the poetry enthusiast!
At once, the teenager Xue Xin had then become wanted in the entire Yangzhou.
Xue Xin had then concealed his identity and gone into hiding, disappearing for a total of three years. According to the investigation the Snowy Lotus Cult conducted, it was suspected that the Gui Yuan Sect had been involved with Xue Xin during these past three years.
In August of this year, Xue Xin had been invited by a security office to be an escort. Hence, he then returned to Wuan County-City. He now worked as an escort for Chang Sheng Security Office in Wuan County-City by the alias of ‘Wu Yi.”
    ……
Teng Qingshan perused the written information about Xue Xin.
“Before the destruction of his clan, Xue Xin was merely a scholar. The intelligence agency of the Snowy Lotus Cult is truly powerful. They actually managed to find the current identity of Xue Xin.
“Disappeared for three years? It’s suspected that the Gui Yuan Sect has been involved during these past three years?” Teng Qingshan pondered.
“Hm. Let’s see what this fellow is really like.”
In actuality, Teng Qingshan could choose anyone out of the nine people. However, because of the words, ‘suspected that Gui Yuan Sect has been involved during these past three years,’ Teng Qingshan was more inclined to choose Xue Xin.
“Roar~~”
The Six Legged Bladelike Chi’s enormous body soared up into the pitch-black night sky. Teng Qingshan stood on the back of the Six Legged Bladelike Chi, facing against the wind, while the Whole Gale Eagle rested on the Six Legged Bladelike Chi’s back lazily.
“Wuan County!”
“In the past, I had arranged for Little Jun to settle down in Wuan County. I never expected that I would return there again.” Teng Qingshan smiled and thought to himself, “If this fellow named Xue Xin is really a man of great potential, then I will accept him as my disciple. I will stand up for him and get revenge for him!” 
Teng Qingshan’s purpose was... to fight the Qing Hu Island! 
Standing up for his disciple was be a very proper reason for fighting! Moreover, no one would expect someone to provoke the Qing Hu Island deliberately.
“Whew~Whew~~~”
The Six Legged Bladelike Chi pierced through the wind as it flew from Nanxing County to Wuan County. The flight merely took less than an hour.
    ……
At a restaurant opposite Chang Sheng security office in Wuan County City:
“Brother Wu Yi, this mission went well because of you. Otherwise, I really don’t know if I would’ve survived. At least, this leg of mine would be crippled if not for you. I will just keep these words of gratitude brief. Let me propose a toast to you!” At the second floor of the restaurant, three cultivators were drinking together.
“Our lives are at risk in every mission. I helped you this time, so I am sure you will help me next time… It’s the right thing to do. Please don’t thank me.” The young man with a scar on his face raised his wine cup as he replied.
The three cultivators gobbled big mouthfuls of meat and drank to the fullest. It was obvious that they had just returned from an escorting mission. All three of them appeared very happy.
At the corner of the second floor, a white cloaked man with a longsword on his back was drinking leisurely.
“This is Xue Xin.” Teng Qingshan glanced at the escort named Wu Yi and remarked, “It’s no wonder the subordinates of the Provincial Official of Wuan County could not recognize him… He no longer looks like that delicate-looking teenager who only reads books. If it wasn’t because of the information written on these sheets of paper, I wouldn’t be able to believe that this guy was a delicate-looking teenager just  three years ago.”
The escort named ‘Wu Yi’ was Xue Xin.
Xue Xin had grown to a height of seven Chi and three Cun. He looked tough with a stocky build, and his arms were thick and strong. He also had a horrific scar which slashed past his nose and covered almost half of his face. When he opened his eyes, a knifelike gaze shot out.
“Three years. Within only three years, he has transformed from that delicate-looking scholar into a strong cultivator.” While observing Xue Xin’s style of conversation and the expression showed through his eyes, Teng Qingshan nodded inwardly.
Teng Qingshan observed Xue Xin secretly for three days. During these three days, the thing which made Teng Qingshan decide to accept Xue Xin as his disciple was that Xue Xin had actually gone to a run down beggars’ shelter one night and given the kids who were shivering in the cold winter some crushed silver. 
“When Xue Xin was sixteen, he was listed as wanted by Qing Hu Island. Thus, he fled throughout the entire Land of the Nine Prefectures… He must have been a beggar before. This is probably why he has a soft spot for those beggars.”
Standing in the dark corner, Teng Qingshan watched Xue Xin’s actions. This scene was precisely the reason to why he finally decided to accept Xue Xin as his disciple.
    ……
With this, Teng Qingshan spent a day purchasing a luxurious mansion in Wuan County-City which cost him over ten thousand silver. In the cover of night, the Six Legged Bladelike Chi and the Whole Gale Eagle descended inside this luxurious mansion at lightning speed. This mansion was named ‘Jing Residence’ by Teng Qingshan.
“Xing Yi Martial Arts… Xing Yi... Xing Yi... I will use the alias ‘Jing Yi’ when I fight with Qing Hu Island.” After Teng Qingshan bought the mansion and helped the Six Legged Bladelike Chi and the Whole Gale Eagle to settle down, on that very night, he stealthily made his way to Chang Sheng Security Office.
At Chang Sheng Security Office: 
As Teng Qingshan felt Xue Xin’s presence within his domain, he managed to find Xue Xin easily.
“Eh? Within only three years, he became a high-ranking escort.” Teng Qingshan stood on the rooftop of a building. His entire being was concealed in the cover of night as he gazed downward at the young man who was practicing with a saber at the center of the courtyard. It was Xue Xin!
“Pu! Pu! Pu!”
Xue Xin was half-naked. He held a horse-slaying saber and paced within the courtyard at the speed of lightning, occasionally slashing forward and occasionally holding the saber up horizontally. At times, he made blocking movements with the horse-slaying saber like an enemy was really before him. As he struck each move, sounds of air explosions rang out.
With eyes as keen as knives, Xue Xin practiced repeatedly.
“Eh? This fellow is not using inner strength?” Teng Qingshan was slightly surprised. With his understanding of the Power of the Heavens and the Earth, Teng Qingshan could distinctly determine that Xue Xin had no inner strength. This caused a radiant smile to creep onto Teng Qingshan’s face as he said, “This young fella is using physical strength!”
Xue Xin’s saber was extremely fast and extremely fierce!
“True. Three years ago, he had no knowledge of martial arts, and he was already 16 years old at that time… He had no inner strength when he was sixteen. So, even if he was given secret manual of inner strength at the age of sixteen, he wouldn’t have been able to make any achievements.” Teng Qingshan knew well that it was most effective for one to begin the cultivation of inner strength at a young age.
“Moreover, no one taught him him any martial arts when he was fleeing. He could only use his physical strength to wave his saber. The power of his strike definitely displayed a force of a few thousand Jin,” Teng Qingshan thought to himself.
“However, why did the information state that this may be related to the Gui Yuan Sect?”
Although Teng Qingshan felt puzzled, he did not spend much time pondering about it. He waited silently for Xue Xin to finish his saber practice.
“Whew!”
Xue Xin withdrew his horse-slaying saber. His muscular upper body was covered with drops of perspiration. 
As he gasped for breath, a cold glint flashed in his eyes and he muttered, “Grandmother, Father, Mother, Second Uncle… Big Sister, Second Sister… I will kill Zhao Fu and avenge all of you. I will!”
Everyday, Xue Xin had no audacity to relax even for a moment because of this hatred. 
Unfortunately...
The strength of his enemy was far too great.
    ……
The night was pitch-black. The moment Xue Xin sheathed his horse-slaying saber and prepared to return to his room...
“Whoosh!”
A figure seemed to have teleported, suddenly appearing before Xue Xin. The eerie figure then solidified. It was Teng Qingshan, who donned a white cloak and carried a trenchant sword on his back.
Xue Xin was astonished and quickly retreated a step.
Xue Xin immediately calmed himself and asked, “Who—-who are you?” 
“Young fella.” Teng Qingshan looked at Xue Xin with a smile and asked, “You were the one that gave some crushed silver to those beggars last night, right?”
Hearing this, Xue Xin was stunned.
“Attack me with your saber.” Teng Qingshan was still smiling as he said, “Remember, use your most powerful saber art... and maybe I will accept you as my disciple.”
“You wish to see my saber art?” Xue Xin couldn’t help but feel a sense of elation. 
He had no idea of the identity of the person before him, but he had never seen or heard of this terrifyingly fast Qing Gong which the person before him had just performed… If he could become the disciple of the person before him, then he might be able to get revenge.
“Don’t worry. I won’t use my sword,” Teng Qingshan chuckled while looking at Xue Xin.
“You won’t use your sword? What if I hurt you?” Xue Xin asked in a slightly worried tone.
Teng Qingshan burst out in laughter as he replied, “Wound me? If you can hurt me even in the slightest, I will help you attain Innate Realm within a year.”


With five strikes of his axe, Emperor Yu split the mountains and unified everyone beneath the heavens. He partitioned the land into nine prefectures and erected the nine cauldrons. After Emperor Yu's death, incessant disputes arose within the Land of the Nine Prefectures. 

One thousand years later, a once-in-a-generation genius—the Heavenly Emperor of Qin Mountains—emerged from out of nowhere. With a strike of his palm, he was able to stop the motion of the 100-meter wide Yan River. With his peerless martial prowess, the Heavenly Emperor of Qin Mountains was ultimately able to unite the land beneath the heavens. However, when he died, chaos once again shrouded the Land of the Nine Prefectures. Several thousand years passed by, and still, no one was able to consolidate the nation.
 
Then the Grandmaster of the Xing Yi Martial Art—Teng Qingshan—arrived here unexpectedly from the modern world.

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