Alex a musician die by a truck-sama our favorite plot decide to send him to another world similar to our but with magic that is very Rare. He decide to live to learn the new way of magic, only to found that he is now a girl by the name of Rinko and live with a rich family. How will he/she do in this new world?

I speak English as my 2 language so if you see a error on my paragraphs help me and I'm 17 so don't expect my story or paragraphs to be good.

- If this article is very tough to understand, then you need to improve your English for at least a few weeks before writing a novel in English. I'm no English expert.

Story Target: 
Know what type of story you are writing before writing it.
- If you plan to make the mc overpowered, or evil(or 'good', but a murderer), go for it but be clear on this at the beginning. 
- If you plan to make someone change their character from good to evil or opposite, it is good to plan this out at the beginning.
- It's exciting for a reader when they think the story is ending, but then the MC goes to a new place for a new adventure, so try and create a vast world to explore with lots of detail, places like seas and mountains. A part of the storyline could be in an underwater/underground kingdom, on a plateau, etc.
- Don't explain the structure of the whole world at the beginning of the book. Have the MC only know a bit about his location, and let the reader learn new things about the world with the MC.
- This is just an extra(it is not a must-have for a good novel, but I like it): Have a well thought out plot. Rather than bad guys sending thugs or hurting innocents while the MC goes around beating them up throughout the novel, plan out a more intricate scheme. I love to read moments when it feels like everything is going wrong, but it was all part of the plan. And this 'plan' shouldn't be some hidden power coming out and saving the day. Try to have characters solve problems by using their heads instead of brute force sometimes too. 

Clearly defined arcs
- Arcs should be well-defined with a beginning and end chapter.
- Arcs should be small(can range from 40 - 200 chapters based on your chapter length and the length of your entire novel). A significant arc can be longer, but the author can divide it into smaller sub-arcs. 
- Each arc should end with the tying up of some loose ends. Leaving too many loose ends(running storylines) could result in the reader losing track
- It's nice to hint some things early in the novel and then have them impact the story later, but only one or two characters(enemies and allies included) should be in this 'hinted' state, or we readers forget about them, which goes against the reason for the hint.
- It is ok to bring in new characters at crucial points in the story(like when the MC is close to death, etc.). However, doing this too much can make the plot armour too strong.

Good English
- Use Grammarly. This is very important. Grammarly is a software that will automatically correct most of your spelling and grammar errors.
- Language(grammar) is important. If your English isn't good, try taking some classes or asking a friend with good English to edit. Grammarly can help a lot here. 
- Sometimes re-reading your chapter helps you find a lot of mistakes(as what happened when I re-read this guide).
- Fluctuate sentences, making some long and some short to avoid exhausting a leader 
- Most sentences should be on the shorter side
- Sentences using conjunctions like 'and' many times are examples of those that could be split up.
- Obviously, follow the basic grammar rules, but also look into some higher-level language guidelines. There are great tips online on how to write well. Take the time to go through these, and try consciously implementing these in your novel.
- Capitalization: Always capitalize the first word of a sentence, and always capitalize the name of anyone or anything. 
- Never capitalize an entire word. Using italics, bold, full stops, commas, new lines, or capitalizing the first letter to emphasize but capitalized words are irritating to read. At most, you can capitalize loud sound effects like BAM! or THUD! but WRITING SENTENCES LIKE THIS IS ANNOYING.
- I'll write it again for emphasis. Use Grammarly. 

Chapter Updates:
- Premium: Charging for chapters is natural, and you deserve it for your work. But, try leaving the first 100 chapters free to get readers interested. Yes, readers might get the gist of your novel in the first five chapters, but they need to be more immersed in your story to spend money. Of course, 100 is an arbitrary number based on the average chapter length I've seen for such novels. If your chapters are longer, naturally, you know best. I would suggest two arcs as a good amount to leave free. 
- The faster, the better is true. The more chapters you release, the happier us readers will be, except if:
-- The rush to release chapters results in subpar chapters. Be careful of the tradeoff. Quality matters. While readers would like fast updates, there's no point if they don't like the novel itself. 
-- For translations, two chapters a day is a great speed. More than that seems sloppy.
-- For originals, 1 chapter a day is the max you should publish(unless your chapters are incredibly short). And even that seems like a lot to me. It takes time to write good stuff, so churning out hundreds of chapters super quick often means its not good work.


Breaking up the chapter into small paragraphs: 
- Leave two lines between paragraphs. This not only makes your novel seem a lot cleaner and easier to read, but it also makes chapters seem way longer ;P. 
- Large paragraphs should be written only when extremely necessary, where you have to describe a single aspect of something in detail. 
Giving someone's background, or explaining some part of the story or logic are not good things to write as big paragraphs. For these, an easy fix is to start a new paragraph every 3-4 sentences. It may seem trivial, but it makes a significant difference while reading.

A guideline for authors who are new to the business, written by a fan and veteran webnovel reader. These tips are what I think shows the basic quality of a novel, apart from its story. 

Recently, lots of originals have been popping up, and I have noticed that while they have great potential and exciting storylines and settings, the good aspects are buried in errors that could easily be corrected.

Authors, please give it a read. Of course, you will have your own thoughts and difficulties following these guidelines, but I feel that by following as many as you can, your novel will be more liked. Thank you!

Fellow readers as well as Authors, please feel free to mention other tips I can add to this guide to make it more detailed. I am happy to listen to your opinions on changes that can be made to my current guide.

A beautiful dark haired goddess dressed in what looked like white Japanese styled clothing sat in front of me. She was lazily laying across a huge chair - her bare feet sticking up in the air while she was reading a child's manga from my childhood. I didn't realize there were still more volumes being published, how could I when I was always holed up in my room.

 Speaking of which -- where was I? This place was definitely not my room. It was dark, with the only light coming from the beautiful woman who looked like she would never age.

"Erm," My voice was louder than what I anticipated it to be. Even so her aqua-green eyes didn't look away from the manga. I was going to try again but she suddenly laughed.

She laughed at a manga meant for kids. A beautiful woman - no a goddess, was laughing at a kids manga. Her voice was so soft yet echoed against the blank empty dark room that had a huge white sigil on the floor. The room didn't even seem like a room - it was so spacious & seemed to be endless. 

"Human entertainment is very. . . entertaining!" She then finally realized my presence causing her smile to fade into a scowl. "Hmph, I'm on break! Why were you directed to me!?" She asked like I would know the answer. She didn't bother to sit upon the large chair, she just threw the manga onto the floor which shifted into a black ocean. The manga became soaked as it was slowly absorbed into the black sea. "Your Name. . . ?" She sighed playing with the white glove on her left hand; her right hand didn't have a glove.

"O-Oh!" For some strange reason I couldn't recall my name, only the previous life that I had. It took me a good 5 minutes trying to think of what my name was. What the hell. . . ? Why couldn't I remember?

"'Kay, looks like I gotta name you." She bit the collar of her white glove not thinking for too long. She swiped down with her barefoot which brought up a virtual menu with just two extremely short paragraphs and a quite embarrassing picture of me smiling awkwardly. "16, Japanese, NEET. . ." She hummed as she read a few parts of the short paragraphs. "Ah! Death Caused: Suicide. . ." The beautiful goddess chuckled as she read the rest. I couldn't help but blush with embarrassment.

I didn't have a very interesting life - those two short paragraphs she was reading proved that. I stopped going to school after my grandfather died; my parents were always going on oversea trips so I barely saw them. They probably think I'm alive and still attending school. They were just that clueless and uncaring. Now that I think about it; I feel incredibly bad for how I went out.

I just killed myself without even leaving a note or the reason why. I didn't have anyone to call and say goodbye so it would be a while before someone notices that I'm dead in my apartment complex. How long until a corpse begins to rot?? I remember searching that up on my school computer, and also getting in trouble for it by my teacher.

"Renki Sakeme." 

Her words snapped me back into whatever world I was in. The name that left her pale pink lips were extremely foreign to me. I couldn't remember my name but the name she was telling me was not mine. I was afraid of going against her though, what if she thought I was challenging her??

"So?" She was annoyed by my silence. I couldn't believe I had gotten her mad because I did nothing. . . well I did do nothing! Her mood changes were the scariest thing I've encountered.

"Well, um, that's not my name. . ."

"Well obviously, dumbass!" She was even more annoyed. She must really like people who can catch on quickly because she hated how slow I was trying to process everything. You'd think she would understand, since I just - you know, died. I could have been on a whole different planet for all I knew. "I am Irokōu; one of many Goddesses that will help you on your reincarnation journey." She began to explain.

"Re. . . Reincarnation?? What if I-"

"Shush!" Irokōu placed a finger on her pink-tinted lips. She then sat up to face me, with a serious expression on her beautiful pale face. "You do not have the choice of refusing. You have been selected for the chance to get reincarnated, not many people with your death get chosen." When Irokōu referred to my death, a pain expression appeared on her face - but only for a couple of seconds. 

It may be selfish of me, but I don't want the chance of reincarnation. I chose to take my life, so why did it matter? Why was I getting a second chance for a decision made? I thought reincarnation was for the unlucky ones who deserved a second chance, I had nothing going for me in my past life.

"Stop that! Stop thinking like that right now!" Irokōu jumped gracefully off her large seat. She landed on top of the weird black ocean thing, causing a small splash but no water could be seen, yet her pale feet were enveloped in the dark liquid. "My friend Tenka used to think like that. . ." Her voice became shaky, like she was about to cry. "I have no idea if she still does. . ."

"Irokōu?" I called out her name without thinking. She was just standing in front of me with her head down leaving us in awkward silence. Something happened before she became a Goddess, but why would she tell someone like me?

"That's Goddess Irokōu to you! Goddess, you hear!?" 

Irokōu placed her hands on her hips suddenly. Her large breast bounced with the sudden action, but I pretended not to notice. I looked like a total pervert. 

"I'm sending you to the Alternative World. You brought up such bad memories, I'm sending you without letting you know a single thing! Just don't get killed on your first day and you'll be fine!" She then snapped her fingers with her gloved hand which summoned floating pillar-like stairs to her chair. She jumped on one of the third steps looking back at me with a frown. "You are Number 29!" Irokōu snapped her fingers again, I felt a slight burn under my orange eyes. "Hmph!" She smiled as I began to sink to the bottom of the black ocean.

"Woah! What the hell!?" My body was sinking faster and faster with each breath I took. "Iro- Goddess Irokōu!? What's happening!?" I questioned but she just waved her hand and smiled. 

"Your Ability is called Parallel, got that? Just scream that word if you think you're gonna die.."

"Wh-what!?"

My whole body was then engulfed in the black sea and was quickly falling down to what I assumed was the, 'Alternative World.'

Matsuri Raama has been possessed by a dangerous S-Rank Apparition  — Kakureta Neko since he was five years old. This is an unusual predicament because no one, let alone a child, should be able to withstand Kakureta’s strength. The Spirit Society has decided to keep a close eye on him, not understanding how he wasn’t dead yet. They quickly decide he’s a danger to the Human and Spiritual World, so they have a huge bounty for the Warrior able to kill him. Mirei Hisakata comes from a no named clan and wants to prove her worth despite being weak. She tries to kill Kakureta Neko, not really caring if Matsuri gets hurt in the process.

ᴡᴇʙɴᴏᴠᴇʟ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ ʙʏ ᴋᴇʏᴏᴋᴀʜ__ ᴏɴ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴛᴇʀ!

Happy Holidays, guys!

*

To MrSanguine, hello there. Sorry for this late review. 

The holidays have made me lazier than usual. Anyways, here is your requested book review. Note that this is merely a summary of my initial opinions as another reader of your work, so take my comments with a grain of salt.

This review took a while because when I checked out your book again, the first chapters were taken down because you were still rewriting them, I suppose.

Moving on to the general critique...

COVER: 

really nice text effect and font choice;

mysterious colors and the background image suited the story's genre, setting, and themes

BLURB/SUMMARY:

the blurb was effective and well-written;

 definitely hooks the reader in;

the premise it presented made me want to click on the 'READ' button

1st Chapter:

Great, realistic imagery and impressive scene-setting right off the bat. The narrative voice is established right from the beginning. 

The second paragraph needs some edits. The sentence structures could be varied in this part.

The way you used this format: 

DEPENDENT CLAUSE, + INDEPENDENT CLAUSE 

kind of disrupted the narrative flow. I suggest you rephrase a few of the sentences. The words 'aroma' and 'seduced' didn't quite go with the rest of the descriptive phrases, too. Maybe keep the dark thematic tone consistent. IDK. Just an opinion.

In the other paragraphs, you used the same sentence structure one time too many. Maybe some parts could be revised to change up the narration from time to time. 

Overall, the prose was effective and well-written, and I didn't come across glaring errors or grammar issues.

Some minor corrections:

...than live uncomfortably in Heaven. (typo)



and I chuckle to myself—  (an em dash would be more appropriate than a hyphen since you're indicating a break in thought)



Breathing, I check to see if there *are* any randoms   (typo)



aren't too bad—they're just   (em dash)



doesn't do much, either. (missing comma)



Damn. I need to oil the hinges. (or you could use another dash to indicate a pause)



probably in his early forties (no hyphen needed)



that's already happened—I need to focus (em dash again)



"Face it; you aren't getting

Charlie won't help; it'll do nothing except

(a semicolon would be more correct instead of the commas)



"Isn't illegal, either." (comma needed)



viewpoint of illegal could be different. "What type of job?"  (no paragraph break needed since it's still Darius speaking)



Kraken's pocket—must be the reason...  (dash) 



"Sure. When do I speak to Kraken?" (full stop needed)



*

I may have missed a few more but I'm confident further rewrites will sort out all the kinks. Some parts with consecutive chunks of narrative paragraphs and the lack of dialogue kind of disengaged me from reading through everything, but I guess it's just my short attention span talking again.

 This review is short and not so in-depth since  I can tell from the first parts alone that you're not new to writing.  I'm intrigued to find out about Darius' background and what will come off his plans to take up the delivery job, and I was curious enough to read on to find out more about Kraken. 

All in all, you're good at character development and first person narration. Third person Past tense POV is my preference but your writing held my attention longer than most action fics I've come across on here.

Keep up the nice work.

Good luck with the next chapters!



Your friendly critic,

M

Submit your story to the critique list if you want an honest feedback on your work. 


If you want a constructive critique or just an honest feedback on your book and writing skills, read the rules in the 1st chapter.


Note that my critiques can be pretty thorough (depending on my availability and mood of course), and they are far from overly generic and sugarcoated to the point of being unhelpful. This is not for authors who are merely fishing for compliments. As a content writer by profession, I have ample experience in non-fiction and technical writing, as well as proofreading and content editing.

Hey people!

It's the author!

I was wondering if you guys wanted me to do a Christmas short story. If you do Please comment and say so. Also if end up doing it if will only be about 5 paragraphs long because i hurt my wrist today and can't type that much. It's still really freshly hurt and i can't bend it.

So please comment and tell me yes or no for a short.

Thanks!!!!!!!!!

A troubled teen suddenly is recognized by the public and struggles to set things strait.  along the way she meets a very powerful man's son and they become quick friends and he helps her out in tough times

Jaehwan saw the people. Or rather, he saw those who were once 'human' just until a while ago. Unlike in <Chaos>, they didn't look like corpses. Rather, they were replaced by trees, rotten and dried up trees. Trees that knew that the land had no nutrients but couldn't leave the land. They were looking at Jaehwan.
'I see it now. I finally see it.'
Jaehwan then remembered Mulack's words. He said there was no Big Brother in the Nightmare of the Beginning.
This world did not have eyes because eyes were everywhere. They all looked directly at Jaehwan. Jaehwan looked back at them and smiled.
'If I can see them, I can fight them.'
There were countless eyes within those trees, and Jaehwan looked at them. There was the sound of roots being uprooted, just like a tree pulling out its own roots. Jaehwan walked and walked. The other trees were horrified.
How? How can this be?
How can a tree… walk on its own?
Trees were shaking — specifically their roots, trunks, and branches. They were terrified by Jaehwan who was not afraid of facing all these eyes. They wished that someone would punish that walking tree and burn it down. However, nobody volunteered and just moved out of the way. And Yoonhwan was among those trees.
'Ah…'
He wasn't sure why Jaehwan looked like he was shining in between all this chaos. He just saved a man and was walking back. That was it.
But why did it feel like he had witnessed that scene multiple times?
Yoonhwan teared up with an emotion that he could not understand or explain. He turned and there Seoyul was, crying. They smiled at each other as if they knew something like this had happened before. And then they looked at Jaehwan again.
"Well, have we become weird too?"
"…Maybe."
"It reminds me of that. The novel that he wrote once…"
Through the trees, Jaehwan was walking toward them. 
Just like people who found the exit out of a long nightmare, Yoonhwan and Seoyul ran toward Jaehwan.
The door to the new world was beginning to open a man's smallest and darkest box.

Unique worlds existed in this world. It was not a parallel universe. It always existed together in the same world that people could see. It was somtimes labeled as delusion, but the possibility was always there.
Of course, this unique world was different from the unique world that Jaehwan knew. 
In this place, having a unique world didn't allow him to make a [Setting] or utilize it. Unique worlds moved in a more complicated way in this world.
-Jaehwan, please…
The doctor gave him a small notebook that he took out from his clothes as he was taken to the hospital. It was the record of Jaehwan's story. It was so severely discolored that it showed how much it had been read through. Jaehwan understood how the doctor had succeeded in reaching his unique world.
-Jaehwan, there's only one way to defeat reality. It's not like <Chaos> or <Depth>. You cannot fight the world alone now.
Even in this place, people could enter someone else's unique world and believe in the same thing to live on. They could enjoy the free world outside or classical mechanics and other oppressions, but...
-I am just the first. You must let people know about your world.
That was only possible when a lot of people believed in that world. In the last page of the notebook, there was the doctor's short novel that Jaehwan once ripped away. The novel had been taped back with the pieces of paper.
'He didn't throw it away.'
Jaehwan read it again. It was a boring and uninteresting novel. But maybe the doctor wanted to change the world with this. Maybe he wanted to show it to the world and invite people over to the World After the Fall. Jaehwan touched the paragraphs of the novel for a long time.
'Doctor, if that is what your wish...'
Jaehwan turned on his laptop computer. There was an unedited novel that he was working on before he quit. He opened the document, erased everything, and began typing in other words.
One by one, the white document was soon filled. Memories slowly began coming back. In the same way he would stab or slash, Jaehwan kept on typing. Stories began to play from his head. Just like when he succeeded in his [World Stab] for the first time, or when he acquired the [Fall], his head exploded with countless realizations.
The paragraphs were rough and weak. He didn't have good metaphors and he had many grammatical errors.
But he kept on going. Just like he didn't give up on his stabs, he kept on writing. Even when a crude paragraph made him think harder, he did not give up and kept on typing everything down. He did it as if this was the reason why he lived that world, as if this were the reason for the history of his life. He grew suspicious, understood, forgot, created another theory, proved it, and edited.
He wrote and wrote again.
After an uncertain amount of time, Jaehwan finally finished the prologue of his novel. As he read through the completed prologue and fixed any errors, a certain question came to him.
'Oh, what was the doctor's name by the way?'
It was strange. The name that was clear until a while ago, the name that was shown in various media stations, was fuzzy now. Jaehwan then found the doctor's name written below the title of his short novel.
'…You've got to be kidding.'
Jaehwan smiled as he looked at the name. It was a funny name.
Jaehwan opened the web novel website and there were countless novels waiting to be read. Jaehwan saw all of these novels in a new light now. He thought maybe all these novels had their own unique worlds. Some were crude and some were great, but all of these had various unique worlds to create this universe as a whole.
Jaehwan typed in the doctor's name as the pen name and opened a novel with the same name as the doctor's short novel. Then a message popped up to add a description for the work.
Description?
Jaehwan thought long and hard about it as if he was a god showing his unique world for the first time. He couldn't make it sound too grand or else people would avoid it. But it couldn't still be too weak because people wouldn't anticipate it either.
Jaehwan opened up the note again.
In that note, Jaehwan read through the paragraphs that the doctor had left very slowly. And at some point, one sentence caught his attention. He grinned. Yes, maybe this was the only fitting sentence for the beginning of this story. This was it. Jaehwan positioned his hands over the keyboard. And he gave himself ample time to type in each word carefully.
-This is the story of a man who did not return while everyone else returned to the past.

This is the story of a man who had refused to go back into the past when everyone else had decided to do so.

Until the very end.

After accepting the offer that he couldn't reject even if he wanted to, Ivan thought he would be force to go to a place where ritual took place, but unexpectedly, all he had to do is to memorize a few paragraphs. It doesn't matter whether he understand the words or not, what matters is he utter those paragraphs in a secluded room the man already prepared for him.
Before the man left Ivan on the said room, he warned the latter to immediately burn the papers after he uttered, or there would be consequence. Ivan didn't ask what the consequence was, just the look that the man gives him was more than enough for him to take his words seriously.
"When I followed the creepy priest, I never thought I'd get a pretty darn good room for my own."
A sigh escaped from his mouth as Ivan thought back to the unbelievable event he had experience a moment ago. Furthermore...
"Will I really awaken some ability just by uttering the words on these papers?"
Within the grip of his hand, there's a few pieces of papers written in a strange language that would make him distress if not for another few pieces of papers laid neatly on the table. On that papers, it teach him how to pronounce each word, one by one, for the papers in his hand. However, there's nothing there that explain what it means so Ivan was still left in the dark.
"This feels more like studying...and here I thought I won't need to study anymore."
Though he was still skeptical of the whole situation, Ivan had no choice but to face it since there's no more retreat for him. He's literally deep in their base now along with a bomb in his hand. If he make one wrong move, it won't be just him that would suffer for the consequence.
"Well, I wouldn't know if it work or not without trying it."
Though the risk of things going wrong is high, he had to do it. If the power would cost him of his soul, Ivan hopes that it is a powerful ability or he would rage for the unfairness. It's his soul that's at stake! He wouldn't be able to reincarnation if his soul is consumed by demon, that is if wheel of reincarnation theory is real.
With that in mind, Ivan wholeheartedly focus on completing the task by putting the two stack of papers at each side of the other, making it easier for him to switch between them if he came across a problem. Because the words still appeared gibberish to him, it took a lot of time before he could proceed to the second paragraphs. It would be a lot of helped to him if he could understand what it means however.
After focusing on the task for three hours, Ivan decided to take a short break as he feels exhausted mentally. It couldn't be helped since he had never used his brain capacity this much before, not even on his studies. At least for studies, when he knew he couldn't get far, he would then focus on what he could process and memorize them all.
But thanks to his effort, he has finally completed the task after two short breaks in the middle.
At the center of the table laid three stack of papers which consists of a pronunciation teaching material, the gibberish paragraphs, and lastly, the completed pronunciation work.
"Now all I need to do is the same as I've done with studies, memorize everything."
If not for the risk, Ivan would have uttered the words by now. But without understanding what each word means, there's a high chance of him making a mistake. 
Who knows, he might accidentally pronounce a word wrong and it result in him turning into a frog. That kind of fantasy should only exist in fiction, not reality.
The only way to go around it is by pronouncing the word one by one, stopping in the middle as to not accidentally complete the whole paragraph, and then making sure it is correct by checking the pronunciation teaching material a few times before memorize it.
It would have been easier if Ivan has a smartphone or something to record it, but he was too poor to afford one.
"The man, Chris Hearthstone, told me that night is a good time since Mana in the air is more active than during the day."
Mana, a magical energy that only mage/magician in fiction stories could wield. He never thought something as magical as that could actually exists in reality. Ivan only came to know about it when he asked Chris about the fireball that the latter conjured before on the way to his room.
The reason Chris appeared to be so exhausted after one fireball also due to how thin the Mana in the air is, especially during the day, or so he said.
Ivan couldn't help but thought back to the story Chris once told him. Is it possible that it isn't just a mere nonsense? 'Healing diseases with just a wave of her hand,' if that's real, her ability must have been a powerful one that's for sure. It isn't on the level ordinary people like him could ever reach.
But why is someone as great as her isn't known in the history of mankind? Heck, he would even believe it if there's a religion out there worshipping her as their god. It feels like he's onto something when he thought about it.
No matter how curious he is, it doesn't matter anymore since that woman would have been dead by now. Perhaps, her legend also disappeared along with her death like some other history figures. Such a shame. If she was still alive or passed down her healing ability, people wouldn't have to fear cancer and other untreatable diseases.
It's also possible that somewhere out there in the world, there exist her successor, but Ivan quickly shook his head at the ridiculous thought.
"Now then, let's see."
Ivan picked up the completed work off the table as he immediately put all his attention on the few pieces long paragraphs on the papers. He has already prepared all he could, now is the time to witness whether what Chris said to be true, or just a trick to mess with him.
Admittedly, if he really gain an ability from this, he wonder what would it be. Is it the famous one, telekinesis? Or is it the more low-key one, photographic memory? Ivan was filled with excitement at the thought of gaining one of these cheat level abilities.
[Zion. Le. Ryu. Hiel. Swies.]
The moment he finished the first paragraph, as if responding to it, something suddenly resonated deep in his core. However, maybe he was too focus on not making mistake, or the resonation is too weak, Ivan didn't notice and continue.
[Saa. Dwa. Fug. Grez. Des.]
This time Ivan finally took noticed of something happening to his body as he feels a sudden jolt of sensation that he never felt before. But since he can't stop midway, thinking that it might makes thing worse for him, Ivan choose to ignore it and continue.
[Freez. Yu. Als. Ertu. Mahn.]
Just as he completed the third paragraph, Ivan almost yelp out when he feels throbbing pains as if he was split apart by something. But he desperately hold it in, gritting his teeth with determination filled his eyes. After all, this is the final paragraph.
[Zaug. Dwroth. Quesa. Wart. ZESTRUYAL!]
"AAAAH!"
Ivan immediately screams like a banshee the moment he finished the last paragraph as he couldn't take it anymore upon experiencing an overwhelming pain all over his body. Before losing conscious, Ivan has a feeling that he had just lost something important yet couldn't point out where, or what was the cause. But he immediately forget about it the moment he could sense the thin Mana in the air as he slowly close his eyes with a smile on his face.
"It's a success!"
Ivan exclaimed the moment he awoke on the hospital's bed. Fortunately, no one was around or they would think he's crazy. Even if there's people in the room, he couldn't care less about them as his mind was more focus on the Mana inside his body. It was just like what Chris said, once one could sense unknown energy coursing throughout their blood vessels, it means succesful.
Ivan's body is now fully adapted to Mana.
It was from there his life starts to get better and better. After leaving the hospital with the creepy priest who came to picked him up, Ivan was told to train his ability since it was still unstable. After a few month passed, he finally fully control his ability and began accepting mission to improve his life. It didn't take him longer than a year before he bought a house for his mother.
A few years passed, Ivan was suddenly called and given an important mission that he couldn't reject. It was to 'find' a few people to 'help' the crazy scientist with his research. Ivan couldn't comprehend why they need someone as crazy as that scientist when they have their own method of 'awakening' people. However, he didn't voice out his opinion, just as he has always been.
Ivan didn't know why, but he always felt uncomfortable whenever the crazy scientist was around. The reason being he could only sense chaos, craziness, and the lack of humanity in the latter eyes. Just by his presence alone makes Ivan felt suffocated.
It was during his mission that Ivan came across a spoiled rich teenage boy, and his name is Rodrick Jayson. It was the latter that suggested him, M Highschool, the same high school that Sheila goes. He begged to Ivan with a lot of bribery which the latter couldn't refuse.
Though the teenage boy warned him about Sheila and her strange power a couple of times, Ivan just took his words and throw it straight into the garbage. He didn't believe a high school student, a girl especially, could pose a threat to him and his group.
He also thought it would just be a swift kidnapping and no one would found about it until he and his group left. If he had believe in Rodrick's words and stay caution, he wouldn't have been easily caught into Sheila's trap. It was already too late when he regret not listening to the brat's warning.


Sheila is an average girl who likes to play video games and watch animes in her free time. If there’s anything that stood out from her, that would be her beautiful appearance. Due to spending too much time playing video games till late at night, she would usually forget to do her homework which she would, later on, asked her best friend, Ria, for help. A total average gamer-otaku girl.

Like any other day, Sheila was walking her way to school when suddenly the phone in her pocket vibrates. She pulled it out of her pocket to check with the expectation of seeing a new message, but the result was something that would change her entire life completely upside down.

Leveling System, it was a mysterious app which suddenly appeared inside her phone. By using it, she could level up like the character in the game and become stronger. But what would an average girl do by becoming stronger? Not expecting to fight anything absurd in her daily life, Sheila slowly adapts to her new life of leveling up inside an instant dungeon.

But out of nowhere, A goblin appeared in front of her somewhere in the alleyways. Where did it come from? Not knowing anything, Sheila ended up killing it. That night, She woke up to a nightmare where the world turned chaotic as monsters run rampage everywhere, it was a world where a weak human life was nothing but garbage, a world where strong prey the weak. She believes it was a premonition of what her future would be if she does nothing.


Will she stand up and take responsibly to fight for others?

Or would she be selfish and only fight for her loved ones?

The fate of the entire world is on her hand. Her decision will decide the outcome of everything.



*** 


Important note: English is not my first language, so do expect to see a grammatic error and if you're such a kind and big heart person and would willing to help, feel free do so as I appreciated any sort of support. I'm also a new author who only wrote the story because purely for my own pleasure. 

Be warn though as the story progress and development is very slow. I started writing this story out of spit of not having anything interesting to read, do expect some cliche since this author likes it. 

***

[UPDATED!]The characters design followed by tiny bits information(Be warn as it would be a spoiler to the new readers!):
http://imgur.com/gallery/twsIaJe

If you like the story, please give some power stone, any will be appreciated!


Credit to the artist, I just simply edit to fit the book cover; https://picrew.me/image_maker/234517

***

Discord: https://discord.gg/2JMqZ3e

Support me:
Send me a cup of coffee: Ko-fi/minxmean
Patreon: patreon.com/NEETGuy

Hey! Well, ummm, wrote an Overview about Sexual Torture Game/System, about how the story is about, pretty short, few paragraphs. Overview is on ZeroNemeziz's Wondering Mind of Stories. Check it out if you want to know how I wanted the Story to be... well, GLHF with your guys Sex Life!

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Warning: This novel has 18+ Content, so be warned. There is going to hardly any Adventure, Action, or much of anything, and just... probably full of hentai stuff. In future, I would make MC have the time to be free of hentai stuff.

Also the chapter will be released very slow, as I gotta think of good content, plots, and some things, to keep the novel going. Don’t go crazy and ask the schedule or demand chapters, as it’s hard the get  think of how things go in this hentai filled novel

The novel is almost pure imagination if you guys didn’t have already noticed if you readers had read this. Everything here is pure imagination, so use you mind to picture everything, and all the detail will be there. 

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My Discord if you want to talk about the Novel: https://discord.gg/zXnTgja

Do you want me to write a detailed history of Otsutsuki and there abilities together with the New clan throughout chapters as short paragraphs.
1. Why not? We would like to see more content.
2. No, we have no interest in Otsutsukis.
3. Anything is fine as long as it is interesting.

A medical student died because of negligence of the authorities. Later, he is granted a second chance in life with some boons. But being an Otaku and Naruto fan, he chooses to live in the chaotic world of Naruto.
The story will follow canon for the initial part with a new plot. Major changes will reflect in the later part as our MC grows up. The story has strong AU elements and the power scaling is ramped up to explore various foreign elements in Naruto. Everything in its entirety will be a part of the Naruto series with details and speculations of my own.
This story is my original creation, and I post it on Scribble hub and Webnovel. You might find a few initial chapters on Royal Road. 
Note:- The starting 40 chapters or so have poor grammar and various mistakes since I was a new writer back then and lacked experience. But I am working on editing them.

Warning:-I don't own Naruto or any related stuff except my MC and Original characters and jutsus. (Yep, there are lots and lots of original jutsus in the story.)
-------------------------
Support me on patreon:- https://www.patreon.com/ForgottenLife
Join my discord server:- https://discord.gg/AH4tKSD
P.S. Cover is not mine. Credits to owner on pinterest:- https://pin.it/5m8HWOq

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