app XL Excel TBI imp awful app app XXL saw CT no more ft Dr

I married the goddess of calamity, the daughter of the mightiest god in existence. You don't like me? Well too bad, come talk to my mighty father in law!

Who dares mess with me now?

Wait.

Who are these lowly ants?

Why do I feel threatened just by their existence?

What's with the cold sweat on my back?

Are they the MCs?

Volume 1: Including Prologue - Chapter 34 available on Amazon/Kindle Unlimited.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07N789XFP/

Volume 2: Including Chapter 35 - 59 + Exclusive Chapter available on Amazon/Kindle Unlimited
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07P3ZYJPC/

Volume 3: Including Chapter 60 - 86 + 1 Exclusive Side Chapter available on Amazon/Kindle Unlimited
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SH4DQXK/

After translating for several months, I've now finished up all of my revisions for Amazon, and The Heavenly Throne will be coming to Amazon on May 5.
If you want to buy it to support me (and leave me a nice review <3) please go to Amazon or Kindle app.
Thank you SO much to those that do. Without all of you guys, it would much less interesting working on it.
That said:
As part of putting it on Amazon to make money, I have to take it down from other sites! So, I just wanted to warn you all that I am about to take it down.
My apologies to anyone that got cut off mid-reading :( There's nothing I can do to stop that. I left it up for several days. 
As for my future plans, there are already 4 books written in Russian. I hope it will go well on Amazon, and I'll keep translating this series.  It's the first book of mine, so the next ones, they say, are getting much better =)

He was the champion of underground fighting in his world. He was young, handsome, and rich. Recognized world champions were no match for him. He had her, the love of his life…
He lived for her and for battle…
However, in an instant, it was all gone.
He lost his life and his name. His dreams were taken away from him. The one he had been in love with since childhood had betrayed him and plunged a knife into his heart…
In another world, very different and distant, a boy lying in a muddy ditch suddenly opens his eyes. A new life has been awakened in his empty body.
What will he do with an offer for a second chance at life?
What path will Kai follow in a world where power and skill reign supreme?
In a world where your worth is determined by your martial arts.

__________________
As one of the hit novels of the new wave of Russian LitRPG novels, Heavenly Throne follows one of the greatest underground fighters of the 2010s, who has found himself in a world much different than his own. He had thought that he had nothing more to lose, but fate is a fickle and cruel mistress. 
Now, he must fight for his place in this new world as he advances on the path of martial arts and force cultivation. 
The winner of the Russian National Wuxia Contest, Heavenly Throne provides readers with a refreshing take on cultivation stories.

The Heavenly Throne is now available on Amazon.

warning depictions of gore and violence ahead. 





On the playground of interstellar prison.

Jin Zhao lies on the ground, his trembling knees mixed with blood were crushed into the concrete ground, as he gasps heavily.

The sharp pain was beyond incomparable. His whole body seems to have been crushed, broken up and recombined.

No part of the skin exposed from the tattered prison uniform was intact. The bruises and blood scabs were mottled and ugly, just like his blind right eye.

He is like a dying fish on the shore, with his hollow eyes open, his thin fingers stretched out in the void. The knuckles of that hand had long been cracked, even revealing the dense bones inside.

After grabbing a handful of dirt, he was violently shoved into the soil again—!

"Still want to struggle? Just make a mistake, dead sick ghost! and I'll blind your eye, okay?"

A hand slammed his body over, and accompanied by a scornful laughter, the abuser's smelly foot ran over his other eye.

Severe pain came from his eye sockets, and Jin Zhao curled up his abdomen, but he was dying to struggle no matter what—his feet and hands were trapped by magnet locks, and he couldn't even squeeze his fists.

"Forget it, no matter how much you beat him, this monster doesn't say any word. It's fucking boring. I heard that today there is a general who is going to pick a slave. Lets go quickly!"

The big violent perpetrator spat on him and left while laughing.
The smell of blood blew over the wire fence above the prison, mixed with disgusting abuse.

Jin Zhao vomited out a mouthful of blood, wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth with his barely moving hand, supported himself with his elbow and stood up, swaying like a deadly sick ghost in the crowd. He stood there for a long time, and indifferently wiped off the messy shoe prints on his prison uniform.

There are eleven footprints in total.
Since he was put in this prison, there have been five people who have beaten him viciously.

I hate this.

Why can't I just die.

All of them should be divided by five horses!

(the five pains: chaining four horses to the condemned's arms and legs, thus making them pull it apart.)

If there is really a savior, why hasn't he ever appeared? Why has no one ever wanted to save him?

He is willing to give everything to let these people get their retribution! He should trampled them under his feet and soaked them in a formalin water, watching them beg for mercy, struggle, cry, despair, and finally turn into stinking bloody water, being washed into the sewers, accompanied by maggots.

Jin Zhao lowered his head, and the only remaining eye in intact was extremely dark, as if it's an abyss that has no bottom, the despair and hope of twelve years had been concealed by intense madness. If he can escape—he can kill everyone in this empire——it doesn't matter if he becomes a war machine again.






Finally left the studio and went abroad for a vacation. After soaking in a hot spring, he caught a bad cold when he was blown by the cold winter wind.

Rong Wan really regretted that he didn't go to the hot spring and did not expect that something will happen that would make him even more regretful.

Lying in the hotel with a thermometer in his mouth, he can't go anywhere. 

Then turning on the TV, the foreigners spoke in English and he got a headache. 

After Rong Wan finished digging out in kindle (the amazon kindle app), looked for a book in random. But he didn't expect that after reading a few lines, he got out of control.

Like an addict, he abruptly stayed up until two in the morning and finished reading this seven million word novel called "Foreign Race"After reading it, Rong vomited a mouthful of blood and felt more sick.

The first volume of this novel is set in the interstellar future. The plot at the beginning is very exciting. When the protagonist Jin Zhao was born, there was actually an sss-level gene accompanied by an energy source in his body. Quite rare resource! So he hid for twelve years. His biological parents couldn't bear such a hiding life, hated him as a monster, and sold him into a military prison.

The military prison directly regarded him as a guinea pig-like research object, saying that it was research, but in fact it was torture, trying to study the source of energy in him, creating a super soldier——

The beginning of this immediately attracted the attention of Rong Wan. According to the routine of shuangwen novels, the protagonist is bound to open up a variety of things, such as snatching treasure, slapping face and collecting beauties for his imperial harem. 

The next development is either for the protagonist to retaliate against those who despise and insult him with tenfold insults——The Shuangwen route.

(Lets just say Shuangwen is a Chinese literary genre that aims to satisfy the readers with cliché yet popular plot. eg. The boy getting bullied but is actually a very powerful so he got revenge. So, yeah something like that)

Or he experi

Willow's pov:
I wake up, sigh, and put on my glasses. Pushing back my covers, I get out of bed. I shiver. After grabbing my phone, I walk to my bathroom. I check the time and look at my text from my best friend.  Sky: good morning. I text her good morning and turn on my music. I get in the shower and sing to the music. A little after ten mins I got out. I go to my closet and pick out some clothes. I put on a white and black striped shirt and paired it with a pink skirt that had a bow. I put on some black converse and go to my vanity. I put my hair in space buns. Once I finish, I grab my backpack and my phone. I walk out of the room turning off my light and walk downstairs. My mom is at the table making coffee and scrambled eggs. I grab a plate and a mug and I put some food on my plate and some coffee in my mug. Once I finish eating, I grab my stuff and say goodbye to my mother. I walk to my car and drive to school. As soon as I get out of my car, I see my best friend Skylar. I walk up to her and hug her. "Hey Lola," she says. Only my really close people call me Lola. " Hey Sky," I say. We walk into the school. As soon as we walk in, I trip on someone's foot and fall on my face. Everyone starts laughing except Skylar. I get up and walk away. One of these days, I'll stand up for myself but today is not one of them. "Lola are you okay?" Skylar asks. "I'm fine sky," I say sighing. We walk into the classroom. I sit in the front row. Sky sits in the back. Once everyone is in the room, the teacher starts the lesson. He goes over the Pythagorean theorem. Then he hands us a worksheet, which I breezed through easily. I hand in my worksheet, noting to myself that I was the first one done, and walk back to my seat. I get out my phone and start reading a book on my amazon kindle app.

Isabella Tucker is a nurse at Floratown hospital, she

Love never flourishes in a day
It's like buds and leaves
Nourishment and faith grows it into beautiful roses;
Indifference and distrust 
Wilts it into ashes
************************************

I wonder what's wrong with Tazwar. He hasn't replied in two days. I'm getting impatient everyday. Like hello celebrity, can you give some attention? He doesn't think about me the way I do about him,does he? I know it's a fake account that I am chatting with him with. It's not my real account but still. Even back then when I used to talk with him with my real account he used to reply very late, Or the next day. I miss him although I shouldn't. I re-read our conversations.

Hello! (Me)

What's up?

I'm Good. What 
About you?

I'm Good too
Ki koro?
(What are you doing?)

Mobile tipi
(Using phone)
You?
Amio..shuye
asi(I'm lying on my bed)
and chatting. 

How's life 
Dude?
Bhaloi(good) ar tmr
(And yours?)
Very lame 
But kind of surviving.
Why lame?
I am living the same day in repeat for 9 months now. I'm bored. And there's no wedding invitation and I'm pretty bored.

Wkell that's al the students😅
I like the peace and quiet though.
Don't have to travel through traffic jams.
sleep when you want..wake when you want.
No fights no nothing.
It feels good.

I am guessing you have quite the private life to relax alone self-peace?
Agreed I love the fact that I can go on and off hibernation.

I stay in my room the whole day..no one disturbs me..so yeah..bhaloi privacy ase (so yeah I have quite the privacy.)
MY parents are happy as long as I stay at home.
I can sleep for as long as I want. Do whatever I want but just stay at home. And I do just that.

And novels and fantasy is keeping me alive.

Wow, so what books did you read?

A lot almost 40+books

I have no privacy the last I tried to write a journal to keep my mental health good that journal was raped by my mom and dad they even asked my aunt to translate it. Can you believe them?

That sucks.

You're having quite the luxury life for now ain't you ?

Yeah..I think I'm having the best time..ato bhalo somoy ar ashbe na jibon e🤣(yes I'm living the best of my life, this peace will never come again)

About the books though. That's a lot that's amazing.
Best one yet?
I guess I binged on The Vampire Diaries book series. It was kinda good although a whole different concept from the television series.

Oh nice nice..never watched the series though..not my type😅

Yeah what's your type then? Which genre?

Tv series?
Both book series and 
T.V. series?
Ummm..well I watch a wide range of stuff... and also read a wife variety of stuff.

top tv series would be - fleabag, black mirror, game of thrones, sherlock, the office, bojack horseman.
Impressive.
Top books would be - all john greene books...sherlock holmes again...rabindranath er stories...harry potter porte porte childhood par korsi...(grew up reading Harry Potter)
So yeah like there's no specific genre.

Thank I guess
I do take pride on my tv series and movie choices😇😇...although i've shit taste in music🤣.

I read a couple of John Green books but I guess as much as his plots and stories are amazing they quite lack the emotions.

Whaaaaaaaat????
Lack emotion?
Which one did you read?

The fault in our stars is the only book that could make me cry to this day.

The same book made me wonder why the writer could not put an emphasis on the emotions she was feeling when she found her beloved bf was no more.

Because the story was great. Characters were great but emotions they lacked it in the book.

😯😯😯😯😯😯😯
Can't say much cos I read a long time before..but yeah it did make me cry....give me some suggestions?

Did you read Kafka on the shore?
it went right over my head :3

Nah I didn't...might as well read it now that you mention it.

I am patiently waiting for the day I again can go to the bookstore and inhale the smell of books and buy them.

Same😇😇
don't inhale books at a bookstore any time soon though😪😪.

Mind explaining me Kafka on the shore some time?

Sure.
Physical books have a whole different vibe altogether online e porle bhallagena.(virtual reading doesn't give that vibe.)

Get a kindle...I know its nothing like a real book but its much better than a phone or tablet.


The price of a kindle is reading seven hadith books. (Here I meant that if I wanted to get a kindle then I'll have to read 7 religious books because my dad has cracked a deal with me that unless I read 7 hadith books he wouldn't buy me a novel or an app but he thought I was actually talking about the price😂😂)

True..But try to get it from abroad...It's pretty cheap there and cheaper on black Friday's( it was nothing romantic that he said here but still I liked him a little more at this gesture.)

So ar ki kbr?
(And how's everything going?)
How's love life?

😂😂😂 who are you kidding with?My love life is non-existent.

Why?
Because if my parents get any air of me dating they'll practically disown me...Also never found someone I could click with.

They won't disown you chill..parents ra bole omon...beshi hoile jhari dibe..and you're a girl..mair dibe na.( parents just say that..the most they will do is scold you..And you're a girl..so they won't hit you.)

So what is your type....😅😅

I don't know really

LoL

I guess since I never dated so idk my type but might as well stay single for life.(except if you're willing to date, I wanted to add.)

Single for life?..what about kids? Having a family?.. ( if you're willingly to comply...I wish I could say that.)

Well I guess I can adopt and there's still a long way to think about that might as well find someone I would want to date.

So you want to date...but your parents won't allow it..and you don't know your type...and you will not marry..but you want kids..so you will adopt kids.

Wow😅😅😅😅
It's complicated 
I know. Well you'll figure it out hopefully.

HOPEFULLY
Tell me about
Your love life

Well I'm single...tuk tak flirting here and there..but nothing serious. (Another pretty fat lie!)

NEVER WANTED TO DATE SOMEONE REAL BAD?

Real bad? Ummm..I don't think so🤔🤔
Oh okay I guess
So how many exes do you have??

2...your?
It's a big 0.I never dated as I said.

That sucks..there should be
A little experience at least.

Well I have none I guess.I guess overdosing on romance novels I do know an alternate universe I am dating in.

So you do fantasize about it😇

Why not? Course I do.
That's good😁😁

But even In my fantasy it comes out complicated and I fantasize not dating anymore...How dreamy of me.

Complication in a fantasy.?

I guess I am afraid of commitments and the whole dating thing because honestly my parents had an arranged marriage and when I look at them it feels like they were never meant for each other but bound my marriage.

So go for love marriage..Actually fuck marriage...go for love and relationships.

Still don't want any part of it I guess I am not the dating type I guess.

Yeah I guess

How old are you 
Tho?
17...you?
16.
Nice.

So you were talking about your BAD taste in music? What's your favourite singer/band?

Green day

Yeah they're good although I ever heard 21 guns by them.( I lied. I never knew them or heard them but as soon as he texted Green Day I searched them up and heard that song so I could reply.)

Boulevard of broken dreams shuno nai?

Nah

Hear that song.
What you're doing this late at night? (It was 3a.m.)

I am reading a novel.

Which one?

Isla and the happily ever after. It's a sequel to Anna and the French kiss but not really worth reading.

Nice

I close the messenger and the chats. It's 5p.m. means I've been reading the texts for at least about a solid twenty minutes. I call Kashmira and ask her If she wants to go for a walk. Course she said yes.

Mahira Tasnim has dreams and desires to fulfill and live but during the lockdown, for COVID19 all her desires have to take a break and render her stand still and very very bored. Keeping her mind away from boredom she and her cousins talk to random strangers with a fake account and she takes a lot of interest once again in an old crush she had blocked two years ago. Except for this time things get ten times intense and bad decisions lead to one terrible mistake to several heartbreaks and a series of misfortunes. Three lives are put to test, to either break down forever or scrape pieces back together to stay united. Which path will they choose? Can they survive what destiny has in for them to make them wither?




With all due respect please do not use this story on any other platforms and if my viewers see duplication of my content please report it and inform me. With that being said I hope you love the story because this is something that I have experienced, not really but my daily life influence it for sure and I tried to keep a lot of things as authentic as possible obviously spicing things up a little bit. I hope you like the story and thanks for reading! Love you!

The city-sized magical symbols now compressed into the size of a pencil sharpener dropped from the skies. The three symbols danced around Feng. Then they stopped above the two very small empty spaces of the Holographic screen that was crammed with programs.
Deicide wasn't done yet, runes-building needles formed above the holographic screen of Chuba as he used blood magic.
Without much concentration and effort, Deicide with a snap of his finger commanded the runes-building needle to incorporate the magical symbols with the program.
The runes-building needles danced in and out of the magical symbol, cojoining them with the empty space of the holographic screen, changing their properties at will, from corporal to incorporeal. The needles sewed the magical symbols into the holographic screen, performing mystical deed.
When the magical symbols were fully incorporated into the holographic screen that ran various programs, Chuba announced, "Magic spell in-laid, programs combined into one. Initiating the formation of the Mystic platform, 1%..." The screen filled with programs changed to a loading bar.
Just like what Dracula said, Chuba automatically commenced the creation of Feng's soon-to-open shop.  
After the task at hand ended, Feng asked a question from Deicide, a question he was meaning to ask for quite a while.
"Why did you create three spells? We only needed two! What's the last one about?" Feng didn't ask before, as he was discerning how Deicide will co-join a magical spell with programs. Yes, he didn't know how to do such a thing, but he knew now because of seeing Deicide using the runes-building needles to stitch the magical symbols into the holographic screen. Next time, he wouldn't need to scurry here, as he could use Divine energy to do the same. He just needed to chant the [Divinity Scripture] to obtain Divine energy. Then he could do the same.
"Young chap, do you really want to know?" Deicide said in a mysterious tone. His red demonic eyes shined with a greedy glint.
Seeing that, Feng immediately nodded. His ear perked due to curiosity.
"It's... a surprise, you will find out what it is, later," Deicide replied with a massive smirk, one so ugly that even shit would look better in comparison.
Feng expression deflated, as he realized that the pig butchering ancestor trolled him.
The Almighty-Troller got trolled!
Furious, Feng snatched Chuba from Deicide's hand and stored it into his deep pockets. Then he moved out of the desolate soul space, taking off to the physical world.
Going away, Feng insidiously made a plan. Snickering, he said after leaving the soul space of Deicide and appearing into the void, "-10% profit for you, Ancestor pig butcher, "
Right after, he took the 'Out of soul space into the physical world' blue line. Feng conscious body returned back to his physical body. Dun-Dun and Chuba came along with him.
Feng could bring anything out from the soul space into the physical world through the blue lines as long as it was in contact with him. Depending on the size of the thing, he would need to expend none to a certain amount of energy.
Chuba and Dun-Dun were small and they cost him no energy to bring into the physical world.
They two galactical treasures were stored inside his deep pockets.
"Master, you are back," Dracula, who was guarding Feng corporal body, said as he saw Feng's eyes opening. 
"U--Hum," Feng replied. Taking out Chuba from the pocket of his underwear, he placed it in front of Dracula. Feng asked in anticipation, "It's been like this after the spells were laid with-in the programs, any idea how long it will take for this process to finish?" 
"An hour or two, but only if I don't join in and hasten the process," Dracula said. He took chuba and did what he is best at, not asking for the permission of his Master. "Twenty minutes and it will be done, Master"
'Emotion of Free will? Soon, his budding soul will evolve into an artificial soul,' Feng thought internally as he saw that his robot didn't ask for permission. He muttered, "Good"
Dracula took it as a praise, unaware of his master thoughts. He fastened the speed of his typing, helping Chuba in the task of the platform creation.
Dracula and Chuba completed the process. Within twenty minutes, the mystic platform was created. The platform could be accessible by anyone through a software that was created after the programs were combined into one. From the software, an app was created. The app was called Mystic shop, as that's the name Feng had decided upon. The app had the cover of the demonic Feng, whose looks are enchanted by the wings of the mythical creature Roc. Seeing the app, Feng laughed in pride. This laugh wasn't because of the creation of the mystic app, rather, due to narcissism. "Did God forgot to think when he was creating me? Damn, I am so handsome. People's will due to envy." Feng eccentrically thought, excluding the aura of a narcissist. His aura dazzled the mechanical eyes of Dracula.
"It's all up to you. Make everyone aware of the existence of this app." Feng patted Dracula's shoulder. 
_
_
_
Dracula was sitting on top of the cargo of the black-truck.
The wind blew hard, hitting his face and ruffling his black hair. The darkness of the night surrounded him. Accompanying him was his master, Feng Mei, who wouldn't remain inside. It's because Feng was too excited to sit still.
Why were they out here? It's cuz' Chuba needed a better connection to connect to all the satellites revolving around the Earth
"And, Done," Dracula pressed on the launch button.
"Launching in 3," Chuba said. The chessboard began to glow in blue. Energy particles emitted out from chuba, condensing into one body of a circular shape right at its middle.
2!
Placing Chuba down, Dracula and Feng moved backward to avoid the sudden burst of radiation.
1!
The circular-shaped energy body shot into the skies. Launched at a fast speed, the beam produced a massive sound.
Boom!!!!!!
Everyone in the black-trucks woke up. Their faces wore a startled expression. The kid's heart was trembling, as the sound produced was dreadful to hear. It was the same as a bomb explosion. Arnold, who was sitting in the passenger seat, tried to find what caused it. There was no fire in the surrounding. 
Half leaning out of the window of the black-truck, he saw what caused the booming sound. It was no explosion!
He saw a blue light that had probably emerged during the night, as last time he looked at the skies there was only Doom Cloud. The beam of blue light pierced through the NIGHT Skies and the Doom cloud, heading off to space. In his eyes, the beam of light seemed to be the pillar of heavens.
It wasn't just Arnold who saw that. People around the world also experienced this blue light.
"When did Earth started shooting stars?" A young monk, his head completely bald, was sitting inside of a buddha temple which is located on top of a massive mountain. The mountain included a city created within its center by the brilliant work of civilization. He muttered while thinking of the devilishly handsome man he saw on stream, "Is it related to him?"
"The blue light of hope," The punkish women with the superpowers of flame said.
"That light, it seemed to be moving closer to us," An extremely short man wearing broken glasses said to an extremely tall man, who is half-naked. His muscular chest was exposed for the world to see. They were both running, the short man was out of breath. He was breathing rapidly. "Let's head there," the short man said between breaths.
"You need to rest, I will hold you," the giant-man kindle offered.
"Are you blind, zombies are chasing after us. Picking me up will slow down your speed. If I can't catch up to you then just abandon me." The short man refused the help of the giant.
Behind them was a massive wave of headless zombies. These were truly undead undead. These fuckers didn't die even after having their head smashed. They couldn't be killed by any means. There was just no way to kill them. These headless zombies were immortal and totally inconceivable.
The short and the tall man ran together. Rushing towards the source of the blue light. Bringing along with them, an army of in mortal zombies!
People around the world had different thoughts revolving around their head when they saw the blue beam that seemed to pierce through the heaven. Some believe that it is the pillars of heaven, which will uphold the skies of this world that was slowly and steadily descending into chaos. Peace will shine once more in this world, along with the golden ray of the Sun.
While some thought that the demon had descended. This was the gate of hell! 
Feng, Dracula, and Chuba didn't know that their simple act of creating an app that will be accessible by anyone will result in such a butterfly effect. They wouldn't have cared even if they knew. 


"No really, Mom. We're doing fine." I plop myself down on the couch and prop my feet up on the coffee table. "Theo is sleeping better, and since we don't have a lot of team functions to go to, things have really slowed down."
"I know," my mom complains through the phone. "It just feels weird to not be there every month to help out. I kind of miss it."
I smile. My mom has tried really hard to not overwhelm me since the separation, and I love her for it. As much as it's uncomfortable, I need to figure out how to be a single mom on my own.
Santos provides well - really well. But I never expected anything less from him. He was born to be a father. Frankly, he was born to be a husband, too. He really is the best husband. 
Except for the whole sleeping with anyone on two legs thing. That's just not something any spouse can come back from.
"Mom, you are welcome to come anytime. You know that."
She sighs. "So you don't mind if I come stay next month? It doesn't even have to be a full week. A weekend is all I need to get my fix of my grandbabies."
"You can stay as long as you want."
"Really?"
"No."
She giggles. "Okay, okay. I'll look at my schedule and get back with you about when a good time is for both of us. I still wish you would just move home."
I twirl a strand of hair around my finger. "I know, I know. But I'm not going to take Santos's kids that far away from him."
"I get that you want to keep this amicable, Mari." I brace myself. This isn't the first discussion we've had about her hatred of my soon-to-be ex-husband. "And you are absolutely right. But there is a part of me that wants you to keep the kids from him so badly because of how he hurt you."
"Mom…."
"I know it's not right," she continues. "And I know you wouldn't do that because you are doing what's right for your babies. But you're my baby. And I just want to hurt the person who hurt you."
I smile. She means well. My mom doesn't have a mean bone in her body. But she loved Santos like her own son, so she feels betrayed by him, too. I try to remind myself that if someone hurt one of my kids this deeply, I'd feel the same way as she does. That doesn't mean I want to talk about it, though.
"I know, Mom. Do you feel better now that you said it out loud?"
"I do. Thank you for letting me get it off my chest."
I shake my head at her ridiculousness. "Well let me know what weekend you decide to come. It's not like we're doing a lot around here, but I'll make sure it coordinates with the game schedule so you get to see the kids as much as possible."
"Okay, baby. I'll get back to you this week sometime."
"Sounds good."
We say our goodbyes and I toss my phone onto the couch next to me, looking around the room. 
It's quiet when Santos has the kids. Almost too quiet. And there's nothing to do. I've deep cleaned the entire apartment from top to bottom. I've done four loads of laundry and put it all away. I even threw dinner in the crockpot already, so my regular chores are done.
I tap my fingers on my leg and the Kindle shoved between couch cushions catches my eye. Ooh. I could read for a bit.
What is the name of that author I like? The one who writes about all those bearded brothers? Penelope Reads? Penny Reads? Penny Reid! That's it!
I search through the books for sale and find what I'm looking for, hoping to get lost in the world of beards, motorcycles, and some strange character named Cletus.
Ten minutes later, I give up. It's not that I'm not entertained, I just can't get my brain to stop thinking about what Marcus said the other day.
I need to get myself out there. I need to give myself a reason to pull myself together. One step at a time.
My phone alerts me of a text, and I smile when I see it's Marcus.
Marcus: Create the account. I totally met Tripp on Bumble.
Me: I thought you hated Tripp.
Marcus: I do now. But I still had a glorious three months with him before he became a pompous asshole.
Me: You are not making a good case for this.
Marcus: No one says you need long term.  A glorious three months would do you some good.
I roll my eyes. But dammit, he's right.
"Fine!" I say aloud to myself. "I'll get a damn Bumble account."
Me: Fine! I'll get a damn Bumble account.
Marcus: YAY! Keep me updated.
Huffing in frustration, and because I need to do this quickly before I lose my courage, I grab my phone and pull up the app store. It only takes a couple of minutes to download it onto my phone. That's the easy part. Making a stay-at-home mom with three small children sound interesting on a dating app… that's the hard part.
First things first, I find a random selfie I took to upload as my profile picture. The kids are in the background, but once they're cropped out, it's not terrible. I won't be winning Miss Photogenic any time soon because of it, but it'll serve its purpose.
Now for information about me.
32 years old. Three kids. Hobbies…
I look out the back window in thought. I have no idea what my hobbies are. If I did, I'd being doing them instead of doing this right now. What did I like doing before I had kids? Hmm. I liked skiing, but I haven't done that in years. I liked going hiking and taking pictures of nature. I guess I still like doing that. 
Okay, moving on. What I'm looking for in a partner. If I'm being honest, I want another Santos, just a faithful one. I snort a laugh to myself. 
"Good luck with that," I murmur.
I guess 30-40 years old is okay. Divorced, widowed, or never married works. Non-smoker. Ugh. This is way more detailed than I expected.
Twenty minutes go by. Twenty minutes of trying to put together my ideal man on a stupid phone app, and I can't think of anyone better than my husband. But I push through because I'm tired of sitting in yoga pants and being stagnant in my life. 
Plus, I'm lonely. And not just feeling alone. A bone-deep, soul-crushing loneliness that puts me in tears whenever I think about it. There is a possibility I will never be kissed again in my whole life. Never be spooned in the middle of the night. Never connect with anyone intimately. My entire life, for the rest of my life, may just be me. Raising my kids until they're gone and I'm not just lonely, but I'm actually alone. 
I feel myself falling deeper into that pit of despair that sucks me in sometimes. Suddenly the screen in front of me is blurry, and I have to wipe the tears off my cheeks as they fall. 
I miss Santos so much I can hardly take it. I miss the way he always has a smile on his face. I miss the way he sings off key in the shower. I miss the way he would smack my ass on his way out the door and say "I love that this is mine." I miss his smell, and his voice, and his presence.
I miss my life with him, and I'm so pissed off that he did this to us. That he ruined everything. That he took the most important thing in the world to me and obliterated it with his dick.
Taking a deep breath, I push the tears back down where they belong. "I deserve to be respected," I say out loud. "I demand respect. He didn't respect me, and that's not good enough."
I spend another ten minutes answering the most random questions as honestly as possible until I'm officially a Bumble member. As potential connections start popping up, I scroll through the pictures until I find someone interesting.
Thirty-five years old. Divorced father of two. Non-smoker. Catholic. Not a professional athlete for a living.
I snort at my glee over connecting with a white-collar worker.
Taking a deep breath, I click "send a message."
Here goes nothing.

Goalie: a player in the goal whose duty is to prevent the ball from entering or crossing it

See Santos and Mariana DeGuajarado

As goalie of the Texas Mutiny, Santos is damn good at protecting that net. But he never bothered to protect his marriage. 

Letting the fame and notoriety go to his head, he lost the things he loved the most… his wife and kids. Now he has one shot to make it right before losing at this relationship game and he’s determined not to miss this time.

Mariana has been scarred so deeply by Santos’s betrayals, she will carry the wounds forever. After almost ten years of marriage though, she knows him well, and she knows he won’t let go without a fight. Still, she refuses to be a push over. 

Because love is never enough…

Contains explicits scenes and is recommended for ages 18+.
Goalie is created by M.E. Carter, an eGlobal Creative
Publishing Signed Author.

Juked: Volume 1 - When team captain Daniel Zavarro and new single mom Quincy Watson begin to cross paths often, an unlikely friendship evolves. Feelings change. Lines get crossed. Before they know it, they’ve been Juked.

Groupie: Volume 2- My body is no one’s business. So why is Rowen Flanigan making me re-think how I live my life? He’s only a rookie.

Goalie: Volume 3 - Letting the fame and notoriety go to his head, Santo DeGuajarado lost the things he loved the most- his family. Now he has one shot to make it right before losing at this relationship game and he’s determined not to miss this time.

Deflected: Volume 4 - When a new and unexpected development suddenly arises, Tiffany and Rowen realize all their plans are about to become irrelevant. Things will never be the same when their lives are deflected.

These books contain sexual explicit scenes and are recommended for ages 18+.
Texas Mutiny is created by M.E. Carter, an eGlobal Creative
Publishing Signed Author.

I Let Out A Tired Sigh. I quickly remove all of my clothes, down the remaining coffee in the mug and jump into the shower. I wash the frustration out of my hair and calm my body for a while. Once I'm sure all the warm water is done for, I dry myself and put on some fresh and crispy pair of pyjamas and comfortable baggy t-shirt and jump onto the couch. I open my silver laptop and as if all the weight is back again.

I've been trying to prepare the cover for my new chapbook, "Sea Full Of Stars" for the past three days now. I'm not a visual artist and hiring one costs too much and I'm too broke to spend bills on softwares. It's never easy being a writer. Writing itself can be such a lonely process, although it is my first home. But then I have to design a cover that is not only catchy, mysterious and unique but also conversely uninhibited. Great. I spend hours trying to find the right website that'll let me make one for free.

For a minute there, I sit back tired and almost defeated. What if books didn't have covers, I think to myself. I could've saved all this hassle and been sleeping on my lonely bed in peace. I'd be "Netflix and Chilling" on my phone. I'd probably have been writing something new.

But what about all the books I've read? I confess that I've also once trusted the image more than the not-so-convincing texts. The Great Gatsby by Fitzgerald with it's original art work is a stunning masterpiece. The eyes, the blue and the glam packed in it's dressing is an unbelievable turn on for any reader. But then again it wasn't designed by Fitzgerald himself. It was illustrated by Francis Cugat, a little known artist back then. It was the Gatsby that made me realise that it is an art to cover the book with a cape.

The same cannot be said for all the other books in my collection. Interpreter Of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri or Pablo Neruda's Love don't have the most convincing covers. I bought those books for the rave reviews I'd heard of them.

I do know that Rupi Kaur illustrated her own books. I get up and bring out all the poetry books that I own and try to fathom the making of their book art. The simplicity in Rupi's artwork is really appealing, but on the other hand Atticus's books look way too fancy. But the one thing they had in common is that their book covers were exactly what their book title said.

I too want my cover to reflect the idea and spirit of my book. But I don't know anyone who can design a book cover. Or who understands or reads my book or my art. I don't have my Francis Cugat.

I turn back to my computer, reducing it's brightness first because outside it's turning dark and I don't want to turn the light on just yet. I make a mental conversation with myself that if it doesn't work this time, I'll just use a template by Kindle Direct Publishing.

This time I go to YouTube and type 'how to make a paperback book cover for free' and hit Enter. The first video is of a middle-aged white man on the thumbnail, his hair slightly brown and a straight face. I click on it. The video starts demonstrating the process of making an easy to go book cover on this website called Canva.

I've used this app on my phone before but I never knew it could be used for making a paperback dress. I go to the site and follow all the instructions. I choose the image very mindfully, edit it, use the right fonts and change the colors. I do the same with the back cover and add a piece of poetry there. Then I keep following the instructions and after failing countless times, I make the perfect book cover for my latest collection.

I wipe the tears of joy slipping down my cheeks. I know I haven't made the best or make-you-pick-the-book-up kind of cover, but I'm happy.

I realise that I'm more happy because I could finally do something that fits the rules of the modern mass publishing world. I did something that will make people want to give me a look.

If it was upto me, I'd have the cover completely black or yellow and only bare my name and the name of the book. But that's not the case. I just smile with the fact that I made something that reflects the imagery or mood of my book. And I know that even with the exhausting role my cover will play, it won't ever gain the respect it deserves.

I go to bed hungry and drift off.

In these short stories, through personal episodes, the author talks about the complex idea of book covers being more commercial rather than artistic in the perspective of a reader as well as a writer.

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