Compilation of poems reflecting the writer's actual emotion or feeling at the time the poem was written.

(All poems are mine and original. Pls. credit the quotes/lines/stanza/poem to me if you want it for reference. Thank you!)

Compilation of poems reflecting the writer's actual emotion or feeling at the time the poem was written.

(All poems are mine and original. Pls. credit the quotes/lines/stanza/poem to me if you want it for reference. Thank you!)

❤ fortimeneverwaits.blogspot.com ❤

Dramione AU

It's the summer in between fourth and fifth year that Hermione Granger was finding it harder to tell who she can trust and who she shouldn't. She's soon going to learn that someone isn't simply light and dark, some people fall into the grey.

That same summer, after weeks of his Father pressuring him to take the Dark Mark, Draco Malfoy made his final decision. For the first time in his young life, he told Lucius no. Knowing full well his Father had his own ways of getting what he wanted, Draco ran that night.

Seeing that the tribulation lightning was about to hit Li Xiao Bai, Su Qi Han flew into the sky.
She charged up relentlessly, wanting to sacrifice herself to block the lightning.
"Sigh, this foolish daughter." A figure suddenly appeared, stopping Su Qi Han.
Su Qi Han saw the person who came and became joyful and surprised, shouting: "Father!"
He was the current dynasty's Imperial Minister Su, a rank seven Gu Immortal of Profound Literature grotto-heaven.
"Li Xiao Bai is my son-in-law, why would I let him die on his own? Just be patient and watch, don't create trouble." Imperial Minister Su consoled Su Qi Han while sighing internally.
Truly, daughters would leave the parents to be with their husbands eventually.
Even though Imperial Minister Su appreciated Li Xiao Bai's aptitude, he was against Li Xiao Bai's actions.
Originally, Imperial Minister Su wanted Li Xiao Bai to marry into his family and to impart him Su clan's inheritance, so that Li Xiao Bai could undergo immortal ascension and become an official in the Imperial Court, he would progress smoothly and become a support pillar of Su clan.
But Li Xiao Bai continued to wander outside and gather more knowledge, he did not want to become an official, this action made Imperial Minister Su very unhappy.
Minister Su had made his attempts to recruit him in the past, but Li Xiao Bai's vision was too broad, why would he care about the small Imperial Court within Profound Literature grotto-heaven? He was Gu Yue Fang Yuan's clone, he had grand ambitions, this Profound Literature grotto-heaven could not hold him down.
"Even though this lad does not know what's good for him, he is still a Su clan member, the man that my daughter loves. Even though he is too rash in undergoing tribulation this time and does not know fear, I need to protect him!" Imperial Minister Su sighed deeply, waving his robe, a bright rainbow shot out, blocking the three pale green lightning balls.
"Damn it, damn it! Imperial Minister Su came after all!" Du Zhi Xiao watched with and shuddered in anger, he screamed internally with indignance: "Li Xiao Bai, you are simply too lucky, such a great person actually defended you. I hate it, I hate everything about you!"
Du Zhi Xiao watched as his plans were about to fail, right at this moment, a figure appeared on his left.
This figure appeared from the sky, it was clearly a Gu Immortal.
The masked Gu Immortal charged towards Imperial Minister Su.
Imperial Minister Su had to fight against him, he showed anger on his face: "Come! I have many political enemies, which one of them are you? You have such methods!"
The masked Gu Immortal spoke in a hoarse voice: "Imperial Minister Su, you understand it as well. Your son-in-law is exceptional but he is simply too dazzling. It is better if your Su clan is not so strong! Don't even think of helping him now."
"Someone is helping me?! Hahaha, great, wonderful!" Du Zhi Xiao was slightly stunned before becoming extremely happy, he started to jump around in joy.
"Father!" Su Qi Han shouted from the ground: "Help Xiao Bai."
Boom.
The tribulation lightning struck again, Li Xiao Bai had to use his killer move and create a poem wall.
Du Zhi Xiao screamed wildly: "Don't even think of blocking it!"
Grey smoke appeared from his body again, raising the power of the tribulation.
The poem wall was broken by the tribulation lightning, but most of its might was blocked, only the pale green fire was left on Li Xiao Bai's body, burning him.
"Xiao Bai!" Su Qi Han was deeply shocked, she charged towards him without second thoughts.
Since she could not resolve this problem, she would rather die together with Li Xiao Bai!
But at the crucial moment, Li Xiao Bai's hand pushed out of the cocoon, he waved at Su Qi Han: "Don't be rash, in this situation, in this danger, I gained a surge of inspiration, I have a feeling, I have the urge to recite a poem."
"What?" Su Qi Han was stunned.
Imperial Minister Su and the masked Gu Immortal also froze halfway through their fight.
Imperial Minister Su could not help but turn to look, the reason was that in the current dynasty and mortal world, there were many rumors of Li Xiao Bai surviving fatal danger by creating and reciting poems spontaneously.
"Again? I want to see if you have the ability to surpass the might of heaven itself!" Du Zhi Xiao had an extremely grim and dark expression.
In the past, he had an overwhelming advantage with victory in sight. In the end, because of Li Xiao Bai's poem, he turned the situation around and won.
This experience became the great psychological trauma of Du Zhi Xiao's life!
Everyone listened attentively as Li Xiao Bai recited: 
Under the pine trees I ask of a disciple,
He replies, his master had gone to gather herbs.
Somewhere in the mountain he was for certain,
Within the dense clouds, his figure is hidden.
A chain of black characters flew out of Li Xiao Bai's mouth, becoming four segments that revolved around him.
A few breaths later, the poem turned into dense smoke that moved turbulently around him.
The pale green fire on Li Xiao Bai's body got completely absorbed into the smoke.
With a soft sound, the white clouds vanished while the pale green fire was extinguished, no longer able to obstruct Li Xiao Bai.
Du Zhi Xiao was dumbfounded.
Imperial Minister Su praised immediately: "Good poem, good poem. The diction is concise and straightforward, the words used can stir deep emotions, there is profundity in its plainness. To describe complex feelings with simple words, yet the sentiments are sincere and exciting!"
Su Qi Han raised her hands to her chest and looked up at Li Xiao Bai, her eyes shining with adoration: "Xiao Bai is truly a genius! The poem is free of flashy descriptions and feels very natural, but has vivid descriptions and appropriate intensity. Green pines and white clouds. The green and lush pines contain unparalleled vitality, the vast white clouds are thick and dense, remote and elusive, it makes one think of the autumn waters and beautiful women that remain as figures within the fog. It's so beautiful, this poem and its meaning is really too beautiful!"
The masked Gu Immortal laughed: "I understand, I understand now. Li Xiao Bai, you are a true secluded genius, the white clouds in the poem show your high purity, the pines represent your upright attitude. You want to get away from the mundane mortal realm and go to the world of pines and clouds that is beyond. I was simply worrying for nothing, how can a person like you lower yourself to the Imperial Court? Forget it, forget it, I'm leaving, I'm leaving. With talent like yours, if you die, it is the loss of the entire world in terms of poetry development! I don't want to be a sinner whose rotten reputation goes down in history."
As the masked Gu Immortal said that, he turned around and left.
Imperial Minister Su, who had a complex expression, was left behind.
"He left? He let him go just like that?!" Du Zhi Xiao spat out a mouthful of blood, he stumbled backwards for a few steps, barely controlling himself and not falling over.
"This happened again, another person was convinced by Li Xiao Bai's literary talent once again. I am indignant, I am not convinced, this is the treatment that I should receive instead!"
"Ahhhh!" Du Zhi Xiao screamed madly as grey smoke appeared from his body again.
At the same time, Du Zhi Xiao's appearance turned old, he went from a young man to a middle aged man.
The grey smoke floated to the air and was discovered by Imperial Minister Su: "You are the one causing trouble? Du Zhi Xiao, the former number one scholar in the world, to think you would act so despicably!"
Du Zhi Xiao smiled bitterly: "Number one scholar in the world? I am no longer number one, I will reclaim this title personally!"
Imperial Minister Su called out: "It seems that I am forced to kill you today."
"Wishful thinking!" Another person flew over from the right of Du Zhi Xiao.
This Gu Immortal was also masked.
"Another person is helping me?" Du Zhi Xiao was overjoyed.
The masked Gu Immortal fought against Imperial Minister Su, who was helpless to intervene anymore, watching as the grey smoke flew into the tribulation cloud.
The tribulation's power rose again, three pale lightning balls shot towards Li Xiao Bai.
Imperial Minister Su was very angry: "I have many political enemies, which one of them are you?"
The masked Gu Immortal smiled coldly: "So what if you manage to guess it? Your son-in-law cannot block this tribulation cloud, he is dead meat!"
"Xiao Bai!" Su Qi Han shouted again, her voice was filled with agony, her expression was of despair.
But Li Xiao Bai waved his hand again: "In this situation, in this danger, I gained a surge of inspiration, I have a feeling, I have the urge to recite a poem again."
"What?? Again? I don't believe it, I don't believe it!" Du Zhi Xiao shook his head in madness.
Imperial Minister Su was still worried: "Stimulation from danger can allow a Gu cultivator to gain a burst of inspiration and create a work that is divine and change his situation for the better. This has happened many times in the history of the current dynasty, but such situations often use up the Gu cultivator's potential, it cannot be forced. Li Xiao Bai is in danger!"
"Xiao Bai, I believe you, quickly recite it." Su Qi Han was filled with confidence.
Li Xiao Bai coughed once, sighing internally.
He did not want to keep a high profile, but there was no helping it.
His methods could not resist the tribulation alone, he had to rely on Profound Literature grotto-heaven's killer move, assisting literary talents.
This killer move was used by Profound Literature grotto-heaven's original owner, as long as the grotto-heaven existed, it would be effective.
As long as a purebred human created or recited outstanding poems or writings of any kind, they would obtain recognition and reward from this grotto-heaven.
Earlier, because of Li Xiao Bai's poem, he was rewarded and the pale green fire was extinguished.
Thus, Li Xiao Bai recited again: 
Over a thousand hills with no birds in flight,
The myriad paths had not one footprint in sight.
A straw hat man sits in a small lone boat,
Fishing alone in the cold frozen moat.
Once the poem was recited, the tribulation lightning dispersed, the effect was simply too good!
"Good poem, this is a divine poem! Fishing alone in the frozen water, it is eerily quiet and chilly cold. Comparing a thousand hills and a lone fishing boat, the absolute contrast produces absolutely breathtaking effects. In this backdrop, the intense yin produces yang instead, a reverse reaction occurs and the fishing action becomes full of vitality and vivid movement, everything becomes crystal clear, showing the poet's clean inner heart, surpassing the mortal realm and having pride that is transcendent to all. I get it now, i really understand now. Li Xiao Bai, you never wanted to be an official from the start! You have such incredible talent, I really cannot bring myself to kill you, I am leaving!" The second masked Gu Immortal sighed with deep emotions, he praised intensely before leaving.
Cough!
Du Zhi Xiao coughed out another mouthful of blood, falling to the ground.
"This again, this again! I know his poems are good, really good, but that makes my heart hurt even more. I am really sick of such praises, it is disgustingly sickening, I want you to die, I want you to die!"
Du Zhi Xiao summoned the grey smoke again, turning from a middle aged man to an old man.
Li Xiao Bai was faced with a crisis again.
"Is there really a point in this?" Li Xiao Bai was really troubled: "I need to recite another poem now?"
He did not want to do that, it was too flashy and outstanding.
It would cause suspicions!
Thus, before he became renowned in the world, Li Xiao Bai controlled himself and only recited two poems. During the tribulation now, he recited another two new poems, it seemed that he was about to recite yet another 'new' poem now.
"I really can't do anything about you, fine, I'll recite it!" Li Xiao Bai looked at Du Zhi Xiao who was lying on the ground, he felt very helpless about this situation too.
Li Xiao Bai recited loudly:
The sun beyond the mountain glows, 
The Yellow River seawards flows. 
One can enjoy a grander sight, 
By climbing to a greater height.
Li Xiao Bai's crisis was alleviated, the tribulation clouds dispersed, his three qi exploded into a new immortal aperture, he became an information path Gu Immortal!
"Oh heaven, since I was born, why did you create Li Xiao Bai?" Du Zhi Xiao shouted loudly in incomparable grief, he had a look of sadness, anger, helplessness, and hatred as he took his last breath.
"From today onwards, you are Poet Immortal Li Xiao Bai!" Imperial Minister Su flew to Li Xiao Bai with a complex expression.
He sighed: "The younger generations will surpass us in time, I had underestimated you all along. I wanted to make you an official of the Imperial Court, but your aspirations are too grand, compared to you, I am a mere commoner. It is truly laughable, from today onwards, go ahead and roam the world as you please, just don't let down my daughter."
"What?" Li Xiao Bai opened his mouth, he wanted to say that being an official was a good idea, he could have resources and a larger network. But his poem had already been recited, his 'aspirations' were shown.
Thus, Li Xiao Bai had to say: "Father-in-law, don't worry, I will protect Han Er."
Li Xiao Bai and Imperial Minister Su descended to the ground.
"My husband, you are too amazing! Your talent is vast as the sea, it cannot be estimated through logic anymore." Su Qi Han sprinted towards Li Xiao Bai.
Imperial Minister Su heard his daughter's words and felt a little uncomfortable internally, but he could not refute these words, after all, he had just witnessed the situation earlier with his own eyes.
Li Xiao Bai rubbed his nose, thinking that he had created too big of a commotion this time, he had to go along with the flow: "To speak the truth, ever since I was born, I had always felt that I was different from the rest…"


With his Three Fundamental Views* unrighteous, the demon is reborn.
An old dream in the ancient days, a new author with an identical name.
An old story about a time traveler who was constantly being reborn.
An eccentric world that grows, cultivates, and uses Gu. 
The Spring Autumn Cicada, Moonlight Gu, Liquor worm, Comprehensive Golden Light Worm, Fine Black Hair Gu, Hope Gu. . . . . .
And a peerless great demon that freely acts to his heart’s content.
Translator's Synopsis: 
A story of a villain, Fang Yuan who was reborn 500 years into the past with the Spring Autumn Cicada he painstakingly refined. With his profound wisdom, battle and life experiences, he seeks to overcome his foes with skill and wit! Ruthless and amoral, he has no need to hold back as he pursues his ultimate goals. In a world of cruelty where one cultivates using Gu - magical creatures of the world - Fang Yuan must rise up above all with his own power.
--------------------------------
Gu is a legendary venomous insect, often used in black magic practices. It can take on the form of several insects, usually snakes, crickets, worms etc.
* = one's world view, values of worth and philosophy on life 


Toby Damon was surprised to see the nickname "Knowing A Person". It was not a person's name at all. It was like a random combination of three words, with no meaning at all. People usually gave their nicknames some meaning, didn't they?
Before he could think much about it, the chess game began. Toby was playing the white pieces and could move first. He clicked a pawn and moved a step.
A black piece responded.
After a little bit of play, Toby Damon noticed something was wrong.
This feeling, déjà vu! The sensation made his forehead sweat.
It took more than half an hour to finish the game. Toby Damon tried his best. Finally, the system showed: checkmate.
Toby Damon's white pieces were lost. The black pieces had won!
The black pieces, moving weirdly and with strange tactics, seemed to be moved by an eye that saw through everything…the idea had arrived in Toby's mind when he started to play, and it only grew stronger.
It was the chess programming he had encountered at Mr. Pearson's house.
He was enraged.
Toby picked up his phone and called Grey Cooper, "I'm sorry, I'm not going to be a consultant for you! No matter how much money you offer, I just don't agree!"
Grey Cooper was confused, "We had a deal, right? Why have you changed your mind so soon?"
It hadn't even been an hour, and it seemed he had just changed his mind at will. He was so unreliable.
"You said you wouldn't use any chess programming for the tournament, didn't you? I just logged in with my account and played an account called 'Knowing A Man, ' which is chess programming, right? I know it's true, so what else can you say?" Toby said angrily.
"I will figure out this whole thing, Mr. Damon. Don't worry. I'll speak to the host." Grey replied and hung up the phone. He was disappointed in Toby Damon. He wouldn't have gone to him had he known that he would be so tricky.
Still, he called Albert Pearson, "Albert. That chess player, Toby Damon, said that you'd used chess programming to create a fake player. Is that true? I thought the tournament hadn't started yet."
Albert grunted, "Are you an idiot? Why would I do that? Toby Damon… Is he the chess player who played with me last time? Why does he always say his opponent is chess programming when he loses the game? Is he a bad loser? If he loses when he plays with a person face to face, does he say the person is a robot? No… Now the question is, why did you go to him?"
"I just wanted to help you out. It seems that Toby Damon enjoys undeserved fame. He has no skill at all. Forget it. I was going to help you get him as a famous competitor. But I didn't expect him to be so useless." Grey Cooper sighed, "He said that there's an account called 'Knowing A Person,' and he claims this is just a computer. Isn't that funny? I guess it's just a player more skilled at chess."
Albert Pearson was surprised, "What did you say the name of the account was? 'Knowing A Person'?"
"Yeah, it's a weird name, right? Just look at these three words, it really is like a name randomly chosen by a machine, isn't it? I wonder why the player chose it, and it doesn't make any sense."
Albert Pearson was silent for a while and, then, slowly said, "Longing for a person for such a long time. Missing a person for such a long time. But she can only tell her feelings to the moon above the lake. Knowing a person for such a long time."
Grey laughed, "Oh, I see. I've never heard this poem before. Is that chess player a genius? He has such a weird name, and it's actually a literary reference. I think this guy might win the championship. Who is he, I wonder? Does he have a ranking? No. People with rankings wouldn't play for just three thousand dollars. It would be beneath their dignity."
Something occurred to him and before Grey Cooper finished talking, Albert had hung up the phone, turned on the computer, and entered the game interface.
He searched, and sure enough, there was a user named "Knowing A Person". They were currently offline.
He sighed. Maybe it was just his foolish hope. How could she…
He had seen her autopsy report. He had seen her cremated. Maybe he just missed her so much that he would connect everything with her.
Even though he knew that no matter how much he missed her, she wouldn't show up again. He still couldn't help…
Albert Pearson hadn't known the origin of Sophia's name at first. He had read lots of books, but he couldn't remember everything he saw like Sophia Green. He could only remember some of the famous poems he had learned by heart.
Once, he asked casually, "Ms. Green. Was your name given to you by your mother?"
Sophia was doing an experiment. When she heard his words, she replied, "Yes. My mother liked classic literature. So she just picked a name from a poem for me."
"Classic literature?" Albert Pearson thought about it, "I can't think of any poem it might come from. It seems my knowledge isn't really up to scratch."
Sophia Green laughed, "Your knowledge is excellent, Pearson. You don't have to be too modest. It's an unusual poem. People usually haven't heard of it unless they're really into poetry. It's called "The Eternal Love". There is a section in it: 'Longing for a person for such a long time. Missing a person for such a long time. But she can only tell her feelings to the moon above the lake. Knowing a person for such a long time.' Actually, I don't really like this poem. It's too sad, right?"
Albert Pearson also smiled, "I think it's a good name and a good story. Is your brother's name also from your mother?"
Sophia shook her head, "No. My mother had difficult labor when she gave birth to him. She never got the chance to name him. My father gave him his name, and he just picked one at random. Speaking of that, you have a good name. Pearson. I can see that your parents expect a lot from you!"
The connotations of Albert Pearson's name were easy to understand, brilliance, and intelligence. Those were what many parents expected from their children, and Albert knew just how much his parents expected of him.
***
After the game, Sophia was tired. It had not been easy at all. She had just entered the game casually; she hadn't expected it would be such a battle. Interestingly, the way her opponent played was similar to someone she had played with before.
Maybe it was just a common way of playing chess.
Sophia was even less confident than before. If her opponent for the tournament was better than this one, she would probably lose. It seemed likely that there would be someone better than them.
She had thought she might get an Excellence Award, but now, it seemed unlikely.
While thinking, she heard the door open. She turned off the computer, went to the living room, and saw Kate had come back.

COMPLETED

For nearly 30 years of existence, she had been in a wheelchair, suffering from polio since childhood. While her freedom of movement had been diminished, the activity her brain had outstripped everyone. Unable to join in the rough of other children, she had spent all her lifetime reading, which gave her exceptional knowledge. 

She accomplished many outstanding achievements across several fields and became a famous Science Professor. Her life changed forever when she was caught in a suspicious fire in her lab. Rebirth occurred and when she comes back to life, she finds she is now in the body of another Sophia Green, a teenage high school bully.

Meanwhile, Albert Pearson, the first heir of the richest family around the country who hid his true identity becoming an assistant of Sophia Green has gone crazy after hearing the news of Sophia's death. 

He went back to his family and took advantage of his status to keep searching for the truth of that fire.

And one day he met a teenage girl whose name was Sophia Green...

Fate changes between them as they are seeking the truth behind her death! Could he recognize Sophia and confess his feelings?






Special Note: If you are looking for a sweet contemporary-romance genre, this novel doesn't have that kind of plot. Most plots of my novel talk about mystery, suspense, and a slice of life. Often FL starts a slow pace of development, from weak to strong.

Cover Created by: Weilan

"If I could marry beloved ones, I prefer to be a farmer.
I will graze cattle in the morning and come back with wildflowers.
Inserting flowers on your grey hair, I will watch the sunglow together with you..."
On October 11th, a woman in a brilliant red skirt was standing on the highest floor of an 18-storey brilliant pavilion in Snowblowing City, the capital city of Threespring Prefecture and watching the colorful clouds fading away in the sunset. At the same time, she kept muttering the poem that Zhang Tie released in the forum...
When she muttered the first line of the poem——It's hard to get a lover in the world. She dropped off her tears.
If not a sentimental person, how could he write such a heart-broken line?
When the wind blew, the woman's red skirt danced on the side of the handrail of the pavilion...
The youth told what he had experienced since he was in Blackhot City to the present in a casual tone in his article. The woman was like an elder sister who watched the neighboring bashful youth gradually growing mature.
Last night, when she read that "I even met a beauty who praised me that I was ambitious and a daydreamer!", she simmered with laughter.
When she read that he let the woman who had once hurt him stay one night in his apartment safe and sound before leaving, she became relaxed——thank you, but I hate you——only a woman could understand the mood of another woman at that moment. She knew that the youth was telling the truth.
How could such a mentally mature person reduce to be a devil after being forced to break off the engagement?
The front part of the article was relaxed as if he was traveling among mountains and rivers. She also accompanied the teenager all the way from Blackhot City. However, when she read what the teenager experienced in Fuhai City, she felt a killing qi——that was a terrifying, fatal trap...
After knowing that the teenager escaped successfully, she became relaxed too. By now, all the contents of that article had faded away in her mind, except for the poem and the look that she had seen in Youzhou City lately...
Watching the sunset and the stars rising, she finally let out a faint sigh before returning to the pavilion. Sitting in front of the dressing table mirror, she touched her hair on the temples with a sad look.
Although being a knight, she still had black hair all over and a brilliant face. However, where's the one who could insert flowers on her grey hair and watch the sunglow together with her? If she couldn't meet him anymore for the rest of her life, how lonely she would be and who would appreciate her beautiful look.
Taking up a white diamond and pearl headwear, she inserted it into her hair near the temple. After looking into the mirror for a short while, she changed to a more beautiful one. After taking another look at it, she picked it off once again... 
After trying over 20 beautiful, luxurious diamond pearl headwears consecutively, the woman still felt lacking something.
Finally, the woman rubbed all the diamond and pearl headwears into powders. At the sight of this, the two female servants who were serving her hurriedly knelt down...
After feeling the sudden, vigorous qi in the pavilion, a figure instantly flashed in her room like a ghost.
The woman's voice turned icy at once while the majesty as the head of a family reappeared on her body.
"Go tell the sister apprentices...the event of Zhang Tie, Zhang Mushen is a bit weird, stop hunting him. Such a person will never be possessed by the devil..."
"Additionally, all the cities in Threespring Prefecture have to include all-purpose medicament of Jinwu Business Group into their storage!"
After saying that, the woman thought about something else while her voice suddenly turned resentful, "Tell Guo Wu to take someone to smash the Morality Association in the Snowblowing City..."
"Erm...the Morality Association has been smashed by people a few days ago, it's not been renovated yet..." The black shadow coughed twice before reminding her.
"Smash it again..."
"..."
...
Xuanyuan Hill, Taixia Country...
A person in a white robe was feeding golden fish leisurely and delicately on the side of a lotus pond. He didn't say anything for an hour as if he had not seen the three people behind him...
The old man was dropping lifeless doughs, which turned into tadpoles and swum vividly in the water the moment they touched the water. As a result, a shoal of golden fish constantly chased after them, arousing ripples...
Standing behind this old man, the three people's backs had been fully wet in the past hour...
After feeding the golden fish, the old man clapped his hands as he turned around and asked the three people, "Have you thought it through?"
"I...I will go to Yingzhou Province...to investigate it..." The man who had sweated most answered in a trembling voice.
The old man didn't lose his temper; however, he looked more terrifying than losing his temper when he was silent.
He had not been silent for so long in front of them.
"The manor of the Gobbling Party is too large. We should clean it. A black iron knight from Huaiyuan Palace makes me universally condemned; even the Xuanyuan Hill is shocked. Do you want me to be the laughingstock of the people?" The old man let out a sigh.
The three people oozed sweat all over as they kept quivering, "We dare not!"
"Lord Huaiyuan really has a good inheritor!" Shaking his head, the old man turned around and entered the small courtyard...
...
Shrine Palace of Fan family, Tianshui Prefecture, Yingzhou Province...
Director Fan, who had been more than 10 years elder only after a few months, was recalling what he saw that night in front of the clan elders.
"When I saw Zhang Tie, although...he was indeed raping my daughter in clothes..."
The Fan elders exchanged a glance with each other before letting out a long sigh in unison...
...
"Investigate it..." The head of Qin family was infuriated as he smashed the emerald table in front of him by one palm...
...
After a few days later, some brand girls in the brothels across Taixia Country had composed a piece of music and started to sing the song named "The Beloved One" by playing pipa, a plucked stringed instrument...
"It's hard to get a lover in the world.
I treat the power as sh*t and ignore the ridicule of the powerful ones.
You're just passers in my life, I will not return when I leave.
If I could marry beloved ones, I prefer to be a farmer.
I will graze cattle in the morning and come back with wildflowers.
Inserting flowers on your grey hair, I will watch the sunglow together with you."
This song made many girls in brothels across Taixia Country to drop off their tears. They all wanted to know who created such a wonderful poem...
After reading this poem, the sentimental ones would feel more lonely...
...
After becoming a member of Title Party in the Mountain of Brightness and calmly describing his experiences in one article, Zhang Tie had started to enter cultivation.
Zhang Tie didn't feel that he was literary. This article was just a reflection of his life experience and feelings. Even though the poem originated from his true feelings.
It was useless for him to cry out a grievance. Zhang Tie didn't do that. He just wanted to show others what a man he was and had people make judgments themselves. As he could not prove that he was innocent, he could only influence others' judgments.
All those who read the article were knights in the Mountain of Brightness, all of whom had a great influence in the reality and were more above average in intelligence.
It was enough.
A knight with more than three chakras who had mastered the Bloody Demon Imitation Method.
The background of Qin Wu.
The force who could easily know the secret that Director Fan's heart was on his right chest...
All these were clues.
The evidence was not definitely the truth; however, the truth could arouse resonance among people.
This time, Zhang Tie exposed all those who had framed him to the public.
He couldn't resist those people because his ability was trivial in front of them. However, those people could only move in the dark as their power was also trivial in front of the righteous power of the humans across Taixia Country.
That was a terrifying, malignant tumor among humans in Taixia Country.
This was not only the personal resentment between Zhang Tie and those people; it was more like a public resentment between humans in Taixia Country and demons. It was unnecessary for Zhang Tie to shoulder it himself. Additionally, he couldn't shoulder it for the time being. Therefore, he shared it with other people.
As the old Hua saying went, there must be a loyal and faithful people among 10 households.
Even if 1 out of 10 knights who had browsed the article could be vigilant about those insurgents or 1 out 100 knights wanted to seek for the truth of the even in Fuhai City, they would be much more powerful than Zhang Tie and Huaiyuan Palace.
Whether Fan family or Qin family in Yingzhou would be vigilant and reflect themselves after browsing this article. After all, whatever Zhang Tie had exposed was all genuine.
It was a pattern of self-protection and counter-attack and a warning about the crisis facing Taixia Country from a Hua knight.
It could protect Zhang Tie from two aspects: first, it could make him less wanted by the knights and Supreme Court in Taixia Country; at least they would not beat him like a rat crossing the streets; second, all the people in Taixia Country would focus on Huaiyuan Palace and his family members. If anyone wanted to revenge Huaiyuan Palace and his family members, everybody else would recall that that one was probably backed by demons; as a result, the possible attacker had to consider about the outcome of his deed.
Zhang Tie didn't expect that he could prove his innocence only by an article, the authenticity of which could not be verified. If not, it would be a laughingstock and the laws in Taixia Country would be ineffective. He hoped that he could turn into "grey" from an extremely "dark" guy in Taixia Country through this "public notice".
The Gobbling Party would make a response to this article. Although the Gobbling Party couldn't prove that they're innocent, the knights who had read the article would definitely doubt the Gobbling Party for sure. They would imagine about the role of the Gobbling Party in this event. The Gobbling Party had to prove their innocence. After all, no force could stand being framed as colluding with demons even if they were standing on the side of the top three chancellors in Taixia Country.
It was also the price that the Gobbling Party had to pay.
After all, none of the contents about the Gobbling Party in the article was fabricated. Zhang Tie's suspicion about the Gobbling Party was justified. Perhaps, the Gobbling Party would not care about Zhang Tie's opinion; however, they had to concern about the opinion of all the knights in the Mountain of Brightness.
By the way, Zhang Tie also made an advisement for the all-purpose medicament in the article.
It was a family strategy of Zhang family to have all-purpose medicament enter the purchasing storage contents of the nationwide six warehouses in Taixia Country. It was related to the benefits of numerous generations of Zhang family. Even though he was still wanted, this strategy would be firmly executed. If this generation couldn't make it, the next generations had to make it. They would not make any compromise to that.
...
On October 10th, after coming to the Lion Fortress for 12 days, Zhang Tie ended his cultivation and opened his eyes in his knight's tower.
The reason was that he had consumed all of his earth-elements crystals.
Zhang Tie picked himself up in the cultivation room and relaxed his limbs, causing his muscles, tendons and bones to quiver and rub like plucking strings of musical instruments.
After the last earth-elements crystal turned transparent, Zhang Tie directly threw it into Castle of Black Iron. After throwing a glance at the Cui Li's crystal plate, he found that the 30th golden scale had just been lit on the new knight's crystal plate.
After putting away the new knight's crystal plate, Zhang Tie went downstairs. He took a bath in the washroom on the 2nd floor and put on a clean set of field suit, a multi-purpose tactical armor and a pair of metal battle boots. After that, he went downstairs and walked out of the knight's tower.
The Lion Fortress was still covered with a layer of exotic, transparent energy while the mysterious clouds above the energy cover radiated a dim white light, which indicated that it was daytime above the ground.
Zhang Tie watched the sky and the awe-inspiring huge pyramid as he touched his bald head and trotted towards the other gate of the Lion Fortress facing the earth-elements realm.
That gate was called Earth-elements Gate, the real portal towards the Earth-elements Realm.
By contrast, the gate towards the earth's surface was called Force Province Gate.
The entire Lion Fortress only had two gates.
When he exited the Lion Fortress, he needed to punch the metal identity plate too.
There were also two lines of knights riding on their underground dragons outside the Earth-elements Gate.
Knights were leaving the Lion Fortress for the mysterious world of the Earth-elements Realm constantly while lights constantly arrived at the Lion Fortress from the Earth-elements Realm.
The moment Zhang Tie exited the high tunnel-like doorway, he had flown towards the distance.
The terrain outside the Earth-elements Gate had a downward inclination and was borderless. Like a fortress at the highest point of a huge valley, the Earth-elements Gate overlooked the entire shell-shaped valley...
The barren entire valley covered hundreds of thousands of miles. There was nothing but shiny things among rocks and sands in the valley under the dim daylight which was common Class 1 and Class 2 crystals
If on the earth's surface, this place could be a treasure land. Although those crystals were in low class and of high value, nobody in the earth-elements realm would care about the common crystals. The price of these crystals could not even offset the freight from this place to the world on the earth's surface by airship...
Zhang Tie's destination was the first abyss outside the Lion Fortress...
It was the underground battlefield between human knights and demon knights...
...


After the Catastrophe, every rule in the world was rewritten.
In the Age of Black Iron, steel, iron, steam engines and fighting force became the crux in which human beings depended on to survive.
A commoner boy by the name Zhang Tie was selected by the gods of fortune and was gifted a small tree which could constantly produce various marvelous fruits. At the same time, Zhang Tie was thrown into the flames of war, a three-hundred-year war between humans and demons on the vacant continent. Using crystals to tap into the potentials of the human body, one must cultivate to become stronger.
The thrilling legends of mysterious clans, secrets of Oriental fantasies, numerous treasures and legacies in the underground world — All in the Castle of Black Iron!
Written by Drunk Tiger, this novel is a prime example of fantasy steampunk. Let us journey through the world of limitless possibilities and inventions together!
------
**Warning: This novel contains mature content**


When did it start to get this cold? The change of time? The change of day? Season? The coldness in the air reminds me of a poem. I know this poem, by heart, soul, and mind. This poem has stuck by me, for no apparent reason at all. It reminded me so much of my life, yet there was nothing lively about it. 

I kept my eyes on the ceiling, the emptiness of it, the lonely colour of white. I've had countless thoughts whilst staring at this ceiling, the calming atmosphere of complete nothingness has left me numb, bored, and unsatisfied. 

I stared at the ceiling but the image of my room itself came into mind, another empty place. Bed, floor, cupboard. Nothing more, nothing less. It's weird to imagine that this is usually a place where you could see one's entire life and personality. For example it the room was messy, you would be able to describe the one living there as messy, lazy or unmotivated. In my room, there was just an endless amount of space.

The sound of the front door opening then banging shut, made me jumpy. I could hear the thumps of his heavy feet meeting the floor, the sound became thicker, I could hear his movement. My body became agitated, my heart slowly thumped, as loud as his footsteps. Anything worse than your heart beating incredibly fast, it's when you feel as if your heart has completely stopped beating. That was happening right now, I could feel him standing just a few feet away from my room's door. The seconds felt like hours, I closed my eyes. Mentally I counted, slower than ever were the numbers that my inner speech countered. 5...6...7... Then finally his presence moved as if he had made up his mind.

I was in the clear tonight, I didn't have to worry about my face the next morning or the pains the next day would bring. I was in the clear because I have done exactly what he wanted me to. Get home, cook up dinner, clean up, sett his warmed food with a beer or two beside it. I'd place his dinner on the small table next to his favourite armchair. With the TV sett on the sports channel, a few feet away from him. By the time he gets home, everything goes quiet, and still and I disappear for the night so he could imagine that it was just him. That was how he wanted it, that was how he got it. 

I was scared to death by my father, he wasn't like most. He is a drunkard, abusive asshole and if I could disappear, I would. I would go anywhere, anywhere in the fucking world as long as it means that he was far behind me.

Even though I was safe for the night, my heart still broke as I thought about him. I had disowned him a long time ago, he wasn't my father. He was just a cruel person that I was stuck with. I had a year left. A year then I'd be free of him. It's quite sad to think that most teenage girls fear that their boyfriends are cheating or that they're getting too fat for their favourite jeans while I, on the other hand, fear the man who's supposed to be my father. 

I guess that's why I've become so cold, now at home, I was a weakling, I was scared, helpless rat but at school. At school I was different, I didn't have time for shit, I didn't have time to worry about boys or fashion. 

I was as stuck as... well just stuck. Too young to run, too broken to fix, too unloved to love. I almost laughed at my words, so sentimental. I laughed yet again, the sad hopeless kind of laugh the one you make just before you're about to cry. 

When did it get so cold? When did everything just go numb? I can't remember when my heart broke, I can't remember when the cracks froze. I only woke up with one thought.

Get out of this town, Dakota. Get out.

I was going to do that, just that, that's when I worried about my grades, that's when I got a job, that was when I grew up. So whether it is cold or numb or so absolutely terrifying I was going to make it past this winter. This storm, this horror. 

When did it get this cold? 

When she left me when she condemned me to my hell. 

I love how dark it gets, 

how the days suddenly get shorter.

The way the sky is always grey,

seeking in its own shadows.

How the air nips at your numb nose,

as you see your breath. 

But mostly how, 

it's the season of 

death.

I whispered the poem out loud, quietly. It's words stung, but those words were not my fate. I was gonna get out, death wasn't an option. You live with the shit you got so I was either gonna be free or die trying. There sure as hell isn't going to be a reason for me to stay.

____________

I got that poem off google
if anyone wants it, it's by (SN).
I know this is really grey and dull for a first chapter 
but this is a warning, 
this is a sad book. 
You have been warned ;0
But just because its sad doesn't mean it's worth any less than a good book.

It was just over half an hour before the plane landed. 
The stylish lady with blonde hair and green eyes put out a small comb for her smooth blonde hair and the creaking static noises were heard. After putting her comb into her handbag, she fumbled out a bunch of jars and bottles filled with cosmetic products and started to refine her makeup elaborately in front of her small mirror. Richard couldn't help but think that maybe her boyfriend— or girlfriend! — was waiting for her at the Los Angeles International Airport? 
Not only her, but other passengers were preparing to get off the plane. Walking back and forth down the aisles, they were waiting in queue for the bathrooms. Sometimes, one or two brats wanted to pull at Richard's tail, but it dodged their grabbing hands flexibly. 
Not a fan of the scents of cosmetics or brats like Yi Le, Richard wanted to go to a quiet place close to the porthole. 
Fina was taking a nap on her seat closest to the porthole, while Zhang Zian was sleeping with his mouth open in the middle seat. Richard decided to bully the weak one. It fluttered its wings and landed on Zhang Zian's shoulder, looking at the brown coastline beneath the skyline afar through the porthole. 
Suddenly, it noticed its own figure in the reflection of the porthole—its whole body was covered with light grey feathers, and its dark red tail feathers appeared very perky. 
It looked at its body carefully, lowered its head, and used its beak to comb through the disheveled feathers on its chest. 
"Stop it." Zhang Zian sensed its movement. Half asleep, he opened his eyes, wiped off his saliva, and muttered. 
Richard didn't bother to care about this man, who was always at the bottom of the food chain of the pet shop. 
It remembered the day when it looked in the mirror for the first time in its life. 
At that time, it hadn't acquired the intelligence to know that it was a 'parrot', nor did it have the concept of how a parrot looked like in its head. When it saw its figure in the mirror for the first time, it thought another creature had intruded its body. It was so scared that it shivered in the corner. 
"Oh, darling, don't be afraid, it is you." Wearing her white coat, she was amused by its response and held it tightly in her arms, whispering to it softly. 
"Alex, look, this is you, you are a parrot." 
With her tender words, it felt like it was not as frightened as before. It was being trained to identify colors, so it asked, "What... color?" 
"Oh! Alex, you always surprise me! This is grey, look, your feathers are grey." 
"Come on, cutie pie, you've got another name—'Grey'!" 
That day was the first time it had looked in the mirror and it had remembered the color grey ever since. This gave it another nickname, "Grey", that she only addressed it with this when she was about to get angry. 
For example, when it sat on the plane with humans for the first time, it took away her shrimp salad, for it detested the stale fruit salad provided by the flight and declined to eat it. After several attempts at patient yet futile persuasion, she snapped, "Damn it! Grey! You must eat that fruit!" 
It surrendered and finished the fruit salad sheepishly, not because of her angry tone, but because it noticed the worried and anxious looks that she cast on it. 
Although overripe apples give off very disgusting smells, they could supplement the vitamins necessary for its body. After its infection to aspergillus, she was increasingly concerned for its health. 
And Richard was not willing to see her eyes filled with any concern.
...
"Liǎng gè huánglí míng cuìliǔ, yì háng báilù shàng qíngtiān—" 
"Two golden orioles sing amid the willows green; A flock of white egrets fly toward the blue sky—"
"No, no, baby, not qíngtiān, it’s qīngtiān. It’s pronounced in the first tone, not the second tone!"
In front of Richard’s left side was a family of four. The Chinese mother had been correcting her mixed-race son’s pronunciation numerous times.
"Mommy, I can recite too." Her little daughter, who also had the facial features of a mixed-race was very active, "Chūn mián bù jué xiǎo, chùchù wén zí yǎo…?" 
"My God!" the mother, who was the only person with the facial features of a Chinese person, rested her fingers on her forehead, "It’s ‘chùchù wén tí niǎo’ . You are even more impressive than your brother!"
The Chinese passengers around them burst into kind laughter. Though some foreign passengers didn’t understand what was going on, as joyfulness was contagious, they began to smile too. 
Richard also smiled ear to ear. 
As an Apprehensive Bird, it was familiar with classic Chinese cultures and could recite any popular poem in ancient China. But speaking of how it began to be exposed to the cultured in the first place, it was long time ago…
That year, she brought it to Tucson, Arizona, a southern city in the United States, and they lived on a farm eight miles from downtown. On many mornings, they would drink coffee and wait for the sunrise on the balcony together… 
When the sun rose above the Lincoln Mountains, she and it would look at the peak of Saint Catalina Mountain basked in the sunshine. Marvelous by the beautiful sunglows in lavender and pink, she would gasp in admiration frequently, "Dear Alex, look, how amazing nature is! You are all blessed by the creator!"
The insightful Old Time Tea praised the young doctor in the pet clinic for her knowledge of both Chinese and Western cultures. In fact, she was resourceful too. After living on the farm for a while, her native language probably didn’t have enough expressions to let her display her affections to the nature, she began to teach it Chinese idioms and poems such as "yún zhēng xiá wèi" —The rosy clouds are slowly rising— and "qì zhēng yún mèng zé" –Cloud and dream fall into the river. 
At that time, it was not able to comprehend such complicated expressions. What it did was just role imitation. Yet deep inside its heart, it still remembered the two poems that she recited the most— "shān guāng yuè niǎo xìng" –Mountain scene pleases the birds– and "yè dǐ huáng lí yī liǎng shēng" –Orioles are chirping around the leaves and branches.
It didn’t understand the meanings of these poems until it had become an elfin. And it was aware that how difficult it was for a foreigner like her to comprehend the classic literature of China. She often said that it was the pride of her life, and in fact, Richard was very proud of her. 
She meant the whole world to it. 
"X-art…brazzers…kink…digital sin… private…wicked…hey hey, foreign girls…I came, I saw, I conquered…" muttered Zhang Zian with a weird and disgusting smile on his face, it seemed like he was having some kind of happy dream.
Richard came to itself from its reminiscencing and shuddered! 
Why was this idiot speaking English so fluently right now?!
Luckily, he wasn’t talking loudly. If other passengers had heard him, they would probably call the police right away!
It disdainfully stared at Zhang Zian, whose saliva was drooping beside his mouth, and tried very hard with its wings to pull up the blanket that was slipping down his body. 
This idiot thought that he was lucky to run into it at the class of a Chinese professor randomly. 
Actually, it was attracted by the lecture. 
Though the old Professor Chen made students want to sleep when teaching modern Chinese, he had lectured the Ancient Chinese Literature vividly. In the previous session before Zhang Zian went in, he was introducing the poem collections of Nalan Rongruo, a famous Ci poet in Qing Dynasty. 
"We played riddles and enjoyed the aroma of spilled tea; At the time I thought such happiness came so naturally…yet those happinesses cannot be repeated anymore…"
It was stunned hearing the poem. 
"Love" was a complicated word for it in its previous life. But on the night before it died, it somehow had grasped the meaning of it, and when saying goodbye to her, it said, "I love you."
Even when turning into an elfin, "love" was still an unfathomable feeling for it. What puzzled it was that, although the sky’s the limit for an elfin, it still felt empty in a part deep inside its heart. Whenever it thought of her, it would be immersed in pain. They spent thirty years together. She taught it lessons, it accompanied her, and she would lose her temper at it if she was angry…a sharp-eyed journalist from The Times once reported that Doctor and it were living together just like a couple. 
Although it could understand the poetry meanings of the expressions praising the harmonious and happy married life now, that life was buried in the past and could never be repeated again. 
"If you love her, you should keep her company, but you should also let her go." It was aware what it should do, but couldn’t figure out the reason of its painful feeling…the poems in the class enlightened it. Because it could never stay by her again, it blamed itself for not being able to remember every detail in the thirty years they were together, and for not treasuring the happiness better. 
"We played riddles and enjoyed the aroma of spilled tea; At the time I thought such happiness came so naturally…"
Gazing at the coast in the far distance, its eyes became blurred gradually. Among the clouds, it seemed that her tender face had appeared. Although her face was full of wrinkles, in its eyes, she was still the young lady with charming smile thirty years ago. 
The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death. It’s that when I stand in front of you, you don’t know that I love you.
The furthest distance in the world is not that you don’t know that I love you, but when I am missing you so much, I can only conceal my feelings inside my heart. 
...
"Attention, passengers. This is your captain speaking. We will be arriving at our destination, Los Angeles International Airport, in approximately 20 minutes. The local time is 11:00 a.m., the temperature is 9 degrees Celsius and it’s breezy and raining lightly outside. For those passengers looking forward to the sunshine in California, you might be disappointed. The runway is slippery, please fasten your seatbelts for the landing. Thank you for choosing us for your flight, we hope your mood. won’t be influenced by the bad weather. Thank you!"
The English announcement woke Zhang Zian from his dream. Noticing that Richard seemed to be absent-minded, he decided to make fun of it. 
"Richard, what are you looking at? What’s up there? Are you looking for a bird, like this one we are flying in?" he curled up his fingers, trying to flick it. 
"You moron, it’s just that some sand grains fell into my eyes." It avoided his attack flexibly, rolled its eyes towards him, and jumped back into its own seat like a gentleman, "Time for landing, fasten your seatbelt. Oh, good news, Los Angeles is raining."
Zhang Zian felt that a murderous stare was being cast on him from his left side. 



1. Download a suspicious game
2. Catch a few magical pets as partners
3. Go through interesting daily routines and lead the pet shop to a whole new level

Sven brought me to a part. He brought me to a fricking park. It is winter. Cold! Freezing outside! And he brought me to a park. Who brings a girl to a park during winter? Is this even legal? I knew it. I knew it from the beginning, he wants to murder me. Murder me in the snow. Well at least my sister has a picture of him. Why would he even take the picture if he wanted to kill me? OH MY GOD this isn't his real face he's probably wearing some sort of prosthetic face. Damn why didn't I think of that before? I haven't been watching enough crime shows lately that's why. As soon as I find a way to get out of the situation I am going to watch all the crime shows in the entire world. Oh NO but I'll need to change my location because he knows where I live. That means I'll have to change my identity as well.

"Umm why are we here? You do know this is a park and we are in winter right?" Annoyance was sipping through my voice.

"Yes I know but I promise I have a reason and we don't have to go outside" 

"Okay" I rolled my eyes.

"Umm so if you didn't notice by now I'm not from here. I came here at the age of 10 and the first day I arrived I stumbled upon this park. I like to come here to think when I'm feeling emotional. The beauty of what's Infront of me really gives me peace. I thought since you was feeling a bit emotional earlier I would just swing past her to just admire the surroundings. I also made something for us to eat"

"Oh okay I'm sorry I reacted that was earlier"

"It's okay I understand" 

I stared out into the frost window taking in my surroundings.

"It is beautiful"

"Yup"

To the left there was a greyish stone statue with a stone what looks like a wheel that you stare with on a boat. The view was amazing. Buildings could be seen across the horizon. All looking dull grey with white icy fluffy snow covering them.

"During the summer seeing the clouds in that direction just makes you feel so warm. Almost like you can ride on the clouds. It's so beautiful"

"Mmm"

Just a little direction away a bench white a light pole can be seen but that wasn't the spectacular part. Out in the distance the sun is slowly making its way to the surface. Giving the buildings in that direction a rich glow.

"That view makes me want to write a beautiful poem" I said in awe.

"Well you can"

"Maybe not today"

"Over there was a cherry blossom tree so pink and vibrant. Oh how I wish I met you sooner to show you the magnificence of it all. And that lake before it was frozen over the water used to reflect green and blue. Ducks swimming away but the real beauty for me was the trees. How they just stand there withstanding everything is just marvelous"

"I love trees they are my favourite. They remind me of something important. That no matter what life throws your way you can still be strong. In fact it makes you stronger. We were born survivers"

"Yup that's a very important message"

"It's so wonderful how much nature can inspire you and teach you so much lessons. Just simple yet powerful"

"Yup very much so"

"The sun rise
Kissing the lonely sky
The trees stand
Wrapped by the arms of the land
The flowers are freeze
Waiting to be loved by the bees"

Sven just stared at me as I made up the poem on the spot.

"Waw that was a beautiful poem. You are amazing so much talent"

"Thank you" I said blushing.

"When did you start writing poetry or how?"

"Well I started writing poetry at the age of eleven. I used to write stories at first but no one wasn't really interested in it. When I was in grade six in primary school the reached introduced poetry to us and I wrote my first poem. Everyone fell in love with it and it made me feel good. You know. I felt appreciated like everyone was really seeing me for the first time so I continued. Entering secondary school though my poetry changed. I was using poetry as my therapy. It was my way of speaking. Everything was getting harder. Everything was changing and so poetry was my comfort. It still is"

"Waw I guess everyone has that one thing they can count on to make them feel better. Mines are music and art. Some days I just play my soul away on my piano or guitar. The melody of the sorrowful song and how it can touch your soul and release all your pain. Is magic to me. They way I can express myself by a single brush stroke. It really is magic"

"Yup it really makes us feel less lonely in the world" 

We fell into a comfortable silence while eating egg and bacon sandwiches and drinking coffee.

It's nice having someone to talk to. It's been a while since I've had such a thoughtful and wonderful conversation. Usually boys would want to talk constantly about sex and that really annoys me. Sven however is actually having a conversation, a meaningful conversation with me. I think I like him more already.

We stayed for a while in silence watching the sun rise. Lost in our minds.

"Yes so we should be on our way to our first official location. I hope you enjoy the day I have planned for us. I picked some things I thought you would like but also not having you moving up to much to get you tired"

Sven started the van and we was on our way.

"Can you play some music?" I asked him.

"Sure"

The radio was turned on and NF if you want love was playing.

"Yes I love him. One of my favourite rappers" I shouted.

"Me to"Sven grinned.

🎶I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight
I just need a moment in my own space
Ask me how I'm doin', I say "okay," yeah
But ain't that what we all say?
Sometimes I think back to the old days
In the pointless conversations with the old me
Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me
I wish somebody woulda told me🎶

And then the chorus started playing both of us joining in on the singing.

🎶If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon' have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon' have to give some away
If you want love, if you want love🎶

We laughed.

"Damn Sven you can sing so well"

"Well you wasn't to bad yourself" Sven told me smirking.

"We have arrived"

"I see a grey building with nice architecture but where exactly is here?"

"You would get to see when you enter. I have a feeling once inside you're going to love it. First I'll need to blindfold you"

"Why?"

"To make the surprise even more grand"

"Okay if you say so"

Nikami POV

I opened the book, then gently placed it on the table.

I caressed the front page and skimmed through the book until I found an interesting topic.

================================

MPM is very common for all magic users.

MPM, or Main Point Of Mana, is where most of our Mana is at. 

Mana circulates around our bodies, but MPM is where it is the most strongest.

It is so strong there in fact, that sometimes when the emotions of a magic-user get out of control…

They will generate their main element in where their MPM is.

In each element, there are different common MPMs.

For water, it is the palm, for fire it is the knuckles, for earth, it is the feet, for wind it is the knees.

For the MPM of Light, Dark, and Healing… It varies from person to person, some can even manipulate where their MPM is.

That is what makes Light, Dark, and Healing Elements special. And due to their flexible MPMs, it is natural that they would be strong. 

================================

Yasachu seeing both of us now starting to read, panicked, since she felt like she was being left out.

She quickly tried to get the nearest book possible and she took out an animal book.

When she took out the book from its shelf, a smaller and thinner book all in grey fell.

"Ah..?" Yasachu was slightly surprised at the thinner book being dropped.

"Ho? What's this?" Yuutsu bent down and picked up the book.

"Ehh... It's super dusty…." Yuutsu groaned and patted the dust off.

Shukona looked up from her book and sighed.

"Why are you two so noisy? This is a library." Shukona glares at Yasachu and Yuutsu.

"A-ahh! Amatarini-sama… It is because of this small dusty book that fell out when I took a book…" Yasachu shivered to see Shukona glare at her.

"It seems like it has been a few years since this was opened! Wow, this might be an ancient spell or something…" Yuutsu grins and keeps slowly patting the dust off the book.

"How unusual…" I thought out loud.

"Hm? How so Nika?" Shukona turned her head towards me and tilted her head.

"Afosíosi Magic Academy is a very high-class institution… And to leave such a dirty book here in the library, it doesn't make sense…" I told them, wondering why it was there.

"Oh well! Weird or not, this is an interesting find! Alright, opeeenn sesame!" Yuutsu opens the thin dusty book, her tail swaying around excitedly. Her eyes glimmered with hope for this book to be amazing.

Her excitedness and expectations rubbed off us, her overdramatic outlook made us want something intriguing inside the book as well.

"..." I was silent, but really wanted something good as well. After all I am always a fan of new spells and ancient magic.

"Oka-okay!" Yasachu smiled at Yuutsu opening the book, her face full of excitement. The large lock of hair on top of her hair swung around heartily. 

"Hmph! As if something like that would exist here!" Shukona groaned but did want it to happen.

But it all died down when Yuutsu's face turned from bright to brooding.

So we all expected something un-engaging because of that.

"Ugh, it's just a normal poem! Ahh, I expected something more…" Yuutsu sighed.

"O-oh… that's Unfortunate…" Yuutsu nervously laughed.

"..." I lightly tapped into the table, signaling my disappointment.

"Kh, I told you! You two are just so imaginative!" Shukona rolls her eyes.

"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to read it now…" Yuutsu caressed the first page with her index finger and started to read.

"In all times, in all of our lives. You were always by my side. Reincarnated to always meet. Without you, I am incomplete." Yuutsu started to read the poem. 

I flinched at the sudden talk of Reincarnation since I was in that situation before.

Since… I was reincarnated here...

[What the… No way, this isn't just a simple coincidence, right? It has to be a coincidence… But… No… I-] In my head I was conflicted, why, out of everything that poem could have been… Why reincarnation?

"Reincarnation? Such an original concept, so original in fact, that it has been talked about for thousands of years…" Shukona spoke sarcastically, groaning.

I nodded to Shukona's words. 

"That's right… It's a common theme… But still, why here, and why now? This book feels like it hasn't been touched for a while…" I thought, still feeling eerie from the situation. 

"Ah… Romance…" Yasachu smiled at this, like any normal girl… She also has dreamed of magical love, when Yasachu thought that she would turn to me.

My eyes goes to her, wondering why she would look at me.

Yasachu turned red and covered her face with the animal book she got earlier.

I brushed this off and continued listening to Yuutsu. 

"This time I was chosen as a crow, I never stooped so low. Dark and evil, a source of bad omen. Another life, I have awoken." Yuutsu continued to read.

"Oh, How tragic…" Yasachu felt pity for the character, her smile quickly turned into a frown.

"Hah? You feel sorry for someone that you don't even have any connections with? Kh, you really are so soft, aren't you? Commoner." Shukona glares at Yasachu.

"..." As always, I stayed silent as I observed them.

"Seeing your petals, I knew you were a flower. Why did I feel like I shouldn't bother? Your existence is too good for me. A puny crow on a tree." Yuutsu dramatically said it in a sorrowful way, putting her hands on her chest and then wiping off a non-existent tear.

Yasachu let out a giggle due to Yuutsu's over-dramaticness but continued to listen.

"Kh, really, fake noble? You can't do anything better than that? And besides, reading it like that makes the already bad poem worse. How inelegant." Shukona sighed.

I nodded in agreement.

"Ahahaha! Geez, it's really hard to please you two, huh? Well, The more tough you are on the outside, the softer you are on the inside~" Yuutsu winked at both of us, grinning. 

"Continue." I commanded, I was interested in what this poem was.

After all, it has a theme of reincarnation.

"Okay okay geez…" Yuutsu giggled at my demands. Fliping a page of the dusty thin book.

"You were beautiful and colorful. Cheerful, powerful, and wonderful. Just looking at you makes me full." Yuutsu continued to read.

"Awww how sweet… They are really in love with them…" Yasachu smiles at the poem, still feeling like a maiden in love.

"Does that even count as rhyming?! They just abused the «Ful» ending!" Shukona groans at this, quite obviously disgruntled about this.

"..." I was slightly dissatisfied with this, I kept tapping my finger on the table.

"Even so, I took care of you, providing you water, sheltering you. To you, I flew, even if I was black and blue. When you started to wilt, my heart melt. Was my love too much? Or was it too little?" Yuutsu read the poem.

"O-oh no!" Yasachu exclaimed, feeling anxious about the situation.

"Poor flower…" Yasachu lowered her head, looking down. Sadded about what happened to the flower.

"Now what will the crow do?" Shukona seems to be slightly interested in the poem, now that the climax is here.

"..." I kept tapping on the table, waiting for what they will do?

Yuutsu flipped another page and then looked stunned.

"Huh… Weird, the last page is ripped off?" Yuutsu caressed the left of the torn off the page.

"Ri-ripped off?! Eh? Why?" Yasachu stands up, and goes over to Yuutsu. 

She looked at the thin book, and there wasn't a page there. There were small pieces of paper left from the rip.

"How inelegant! Ripping off a books page!" Shukona groans at this, even annoyed that the poem isn't finished.

"We must tell Kiyu-sama, this book is Afosíosi Magic Academy's property. And the person who did this needs to be punished." I spoke up, with the same cold voice that I have. My voice was more furious than usual.

[I love books, I completely cherish them… And to think someone would disrespect them like this! Such small things… They give such wonderful knowledge, even though that poem was awful… It was still part of the library.] I thought, still furious about the page.

Then there were two noblewomen going to our table and bumped into Yasachu who was standing up. Looking at Yuutsu who had the thin book in her hand.

"Tch! Watch it, commoner!" One of the noble ladies sneered.

"So disgusting." The other noble lady spat.

"O-oh! I-I'm so sorry…" Yasachu lowered down her head, and started bowing.

Even though they were the ones who bumped into Yasachu she was the one who apologized, and they could have even avoided her.

"..." I stared at them, I was already irritated about the book. And now them?

Hameru Matasoto was a very cheerful and stubborn girl, everyone liked her. even the bullies, she was called as the "sunshine" and "princess" of the school. but Hameru died, it is indeed true that all good things would come to an end, or.... did it?

Hameru met Sun the God of Light and Fate the God of Fate. It seems that she died without Fate even knowing, as an apology Fate made Hameru reincarnate. With a wish to make she chose to make her life to be normal, but.... Fate unknowingly said "A Exciting Life" Oops...? 

Follow Hameru, now known as Nikami in her journey in another world, with magic and beautiful wonders! Though... Didn't I say to reincarnate me Normaly?! Not in this Yuri game!!

Stripping was logical for me. One fall day last year I just bought some cheap high heels and a bra-and-panties set from the discount rack at the lingerie outlet and showed up at my first club. I didn't get coerced into it, there was no moral dilemma, no lying awake at night being tormented by my downfall. It was, in a way, unavoidable. 

Montreal's clubs line Ste-Catherine Street in the touristy shopping district, mixed in with the high-end boutiques and fancy department stores, cinemas and restaurants. You walk down the street in the middle of the day and there are their blinking neons, lit photos of blond pinup girls beckoning to you: a strip club next door to a maternity clothes store, a massage parlor sandwiched between a Forever XXI and a smoked-meat place, a seedy sex shop next to a five-star hotel or a student residence, and no one bats an eyelash. I passed three strip clubs every day, on the way from the shitty dorm I shared with two other people. I could see the blinking neon legs from the windows of one of my classrooms, going up and down, up and down, ticking away the seconds like a metronome.

But somehow other girls managed to escape the pull of it, to keep walking right past it without their eyes straying from the sidewalk, their minds focused on the day ahead, on their classes, their assignments, their deadlines. And me—I slipped right in like I belonged there.

Maybe my mom was right, maybe everyone in my class was right—there always has been something about me. I was born missing some crucial lobe in my twisty, unknowable artist's brain.

Maybe this missing lobe is what allows me to erase every night from my mind as soon as the clock strikes three, obliterating the faces and names and cologne smells with laser-guided precision.

It's not till one AM that the place starts to fill up. By now I'm lethargic, my motivation evaporated. I sit at the table in the back of the club, the one no one wants because it's too far from the stage, and flip open the mini sketchbook I always carry with me. I tap my stub of a pencil—too short to use in class, but just perfect to fit in my tiny work purse—on the blank page. Nothing comes. I'm so used to it. There was a time when my head was teeming with images, pictures, swirls of rich color and pattern. With ideas just begging to be put down onto paper in generous strokes. Lately my head is just empty. 

I draw two vertical lines, close together, through the center of the page. A pole. Against it, I sketch the mere outline of a silhouette, a girl leaning on it, back arched to the extreme, head thrown back, her hair brushing her lower back. I start on the details of her face when someone calls my name.

My head snaps up and, by sheer instinct, I snap the sketchbook closed, just like back home when I'd get caught drawing in the middle of algebra or history. But it's just Maryse, another girl from the club.

"Hey! Sky. There's these guy in the last booth to the right, he said he wanted two girls. Wanna go?"

There's two hours left in the night, and I made zero dollars beyond what I need to take the $15 cab ride back to the loft. Oh yeah, and the first of the month is tomorrow. Doesn't look like I have a choice. So I put away the sketchbook, get up and follow Maryse.

Of the booths across from the stage, only two are occupied, and Maryse leads me directly to the last one where four guys are sitting on the tacky red faux-leather U-shaped couch. A bucket of ice on the low table houses a bottle of champagne: the Dom Perignon. I know all the items on the price list by heart: it's $800. Maybe the night isn't going to be a total loss.

"This is my friend, Sky," Maryse announces, leaning forward as she climbs onto the seat next to a guy with cropped grey hair and glasses. She curls up like a cat, with her legs tucked under her, displaying her curvy-in-the-right-places figure at a flattering angle. It's the glasses guy who has the money here, this much is obvious.

He regards me with a look I learned to recognize: slight disappointment. I'm not what he had in mind. He wanted another girl like Maryse, a bleach-blonde with a tan and something to hold on to. But for whatever reason, he opts out of brutal honesty. 

"Sky," he says. "That's nice. Where are you from?"

"From here," I say, trying not to show my discouragement. Another question everyone's obsessed with: where are you from? No, I mean where were you born, what's your ethnicity? And they refuse to give up until you've given them an answer that goes with their vision of you—with the little fantasy they've built inside their heads.

Ideally, if the guy is from out of town, or from the States—they want a local, one of Montreal's notorious "hot French chicks." The locals, they want something exotic.

I hate the word exotic. I'm about as exotic as a strawberry pop tart. And apparently small-town Minnesota just isn't sexy, however you spin it. They start to wonder if you're some wayward little cousin of someone they know. Which kinda ruins the fantasy.

So I say I'm German, Dutch, Eastern European—whatever comes to mind, and whatever I think I can get away with.

But right now, I'm just not in the mood for all the dumb questions that follow. Did you come here to strip? Were you trafficked? Do you like it here? So for now, I'm a Montrealer born and raised.

"Those are nice tattoos." He goes to grab for my arm and I dodge him. A no-no. I'm supposed to let him examine my tattoos in detail while he takes the opportunity to discreetly fondle my shoulder, run his fingers over my back, my hip. I expect to be asked to come back later any second now, but instead he reaches for the wallet at his side.

"Listen, I don't want a dance right now," he drawls. Here we go. "But I want you to take care of my friend right here. Her name is Elizabeth, and she just moved back to town after five years living in freaking Abitibi, so we gotta give her a warm welcome, all right?" 

I turn: the girl he's talking about is sitting at the other end of the U-shaped couch, on the very edge, her hands on her knees. She seems young, the youngest in the group. She doesn't look like she even wants to be here, much less like she wants a dance.

Grey-haired guy hands me a $100 bill. "Take good care of her, okay?"

I feel a shiver of discomfort as I take the bill and tuck it away into my purse. I don't like dancing for someone who's not into it. It's just awkward as hell. Most of the time, though, it's some guy with his girlfriend who pretends to be cool with it but clearly isn't, or some unlucky bachelor who's just trying not to throw up after his 20th shot of tequila. Usually if you pay someone to sit on your lap in a G-string, it's because you like it.

Still. I'm not in the position to turn down money.

I move, taking tiny steps in my heels, until I'm facing the girl. Up close, I realize she's probably in her early thirties. Her hair is long and dark, and messy, but I'm not sure if it's on purpose or she just didn't bother. She's cute. She has one of those model-girl faces, with the cheekbones, a big eye, the hint of a cleft in her chin. Her eyes are her most striking feature—deep and slanted so they're sad-looking, probably even when she isn't sad, and fringed with lush, dark lashes. 

She tenses as I lean over her, gazes up, and the edge of a tattoo peeks above the collar of her black button-down: the swirling, broad strokes of a dark vine with sharp spikes of leaves. I look her over: her fingers start to tap nervously on her thighs, and she has some kind of letters tattooed on her knuckles. I normally hate knuckle tattoos, but I'm not repulsed, just curious. It's too dark to make out what the letters say, and the angle is wrong.


Suddenly I'm overcome with the kind of girly awkwardness I usually leave at the door when I come to work. My character slips, and I become plain old Alaska Snow again, who can't even muster the courage to talk to a person she likes. 

"You're coming with me," I say. My sexy voice fails, but the music is loud enough to disguise it.

She gazes up at me with a mournful look in those sad eyes. "Oh. No, thank you. I don't want a dance." 1

"Come on. Your friend is buying, you know how lucky you are?"

"Thank you," she repeats. She lowers her gaze, staring straight ahead—avoiding me on purpose. "But not for me. Dance for him."

The grey-haired guy leans over.

"What's the matter here?"

"I don't think your friend is into it," I say. My smile never felt more fake. There's nothing more humiliating than having to give back money in public. "Maybe you should come with me instead."

"No freaking way," he says with a laugh. "Take her. We're here for her, and she's going to enjoy herself even if I have to tie her down. So don't listen, just grab her and..."

The girl sighs and leans toward her friend, saying a few quick words in French. Grey Hair replies, and I can't make out a single word. Grey Hair claps the girl—Elizabeth?—on the shoulder, says something encouraging.

Elizabeth leans back with a resigned look on her face. "All right. We'll go. Just because he insists."

She starts to get up, and a feeling of unease fills my chest. The reluctant ones tend to be the worst. One minute they're moaning about how they respect women too much, and the next they're trying to grope between your legs and asking how much for a full-service.

But I lead her to the private booths in the back anyway, and she follows. The booths are almost all empty: the other girls aren't having any better luck than me tonight. I pick the last one, where the lighting is soft enough so I don't feel self-conscious.

She takes a seat in the red fake-leather armchair that looks like something from an as-is sale at IKEA, and I let the curtain swing closed. Now it's just us.

"Sorry," she mutters. "I usually don't do this. You can just go. It's okay, for the money, I mean."

My cheeks warm. Part of me just wants to take the money and run, the old stripper reflex. But another part of me, I have no idea why, says, "No."

The song begins—Where Is My Mind, by The Pixies. And I start to move.

She watches me, a sober, reflective look in her eyes. I straddle her, my knees on the couch on either side of her, and lean in closer—so close I hear her sharp intake of breath. I meet her gaze, but I can't tell what color her eyes are—one moment they look light, blue or grey, the next dark and impenetrable.

I lean back a little, just enough to see all of her, how her hands tighten their grip on her thighs, fingers digging into her dress.

My gaze never wavers from her as I run my hands over my body, palms grazing my breasts through the skimpy fabric of my gold tank top, down my stomach, my sides, my hips. And she can't look away.

I don't break the eye contact, even as I pull the tank top over my head and let it drop gently into her lap with a flick of my wrist. This is usually where they melt: the slack look comes over their faces, their gaze drops, their breath quickens, their pupils dilate like they just did a pound of coke, and I know they're mine. 

But her gaze doesn't waver. I see her throat move as she swallows, the tendons in her jaw tense, but she looks me right in the eye the whole time. I sway, like a cobra before a snake charmer, except in reverse, I'm the snake charming her. Reaching out, I softly run my hand along the seam of her dress on the outside of her thigh. This gets them every time.

She doesn't stir. 

I flip back my hair, lean on my arms and lower myself, closer and closer to her face until I can feel her breath tickling my skin.Her nostrils flare, but she still won't move.

Frustrated, I stand up straight, and at this moment her hands shoot up and catch mine, startling me and knocking me off-balance for a second. I feel her grip tighten in the moment before I regain my footing: she's strong. Really strong. 

And that's when I glimpse what it says on the knuckles of her right hand: C-H-O-I-X.

My gaze darts to her right hand, but that's when the song abruptly cuts off. The moment tears like gossamer. And then it's just me, in nothing but a lacy thong with a $100 tucked into it, and some random girl who has both my hands in a vise grip.

We face each other for just a heartbeat. Then she lets go, as if embarrassed, and drops her hands back onto her lap.

"Calisse," she murmurs. "This wasn't a good idea. I didn't mean to behave inappropriately." 

"It's just my hands," I say. "You're allowed to touch my hands."

"I don't know how it works here. Some places you're allowed to touch everything..."

Here we go, I think. Part of me is crushingly disappointed. The next song starts, some cheesy pop ballad.

"That's not on the menu," I say coldly.

"God," she gives a nervous laugh. "I don't even want the menu. No offense."

"Why did you go, then?" I ask. Color creeps over my face, and I'm glad it's too dark to tell. "You could have told your friend no."

I'm relieved she's not going to pester me for extras, sure. But at the same time, I'm a bit vexed. What, she doesn't want to touch me—not even a little bit?

I realize how fucked up this is, and mentally kick myself.

"He's one of my old Montreal friends. He used to be my boss," she explains. "And he's so determined that I have fun, I didn't want to disappoint him. That, and I figured you could use the money."

I put my hands on my hips. "There are plenty of people in this club right now who actually want a dance from me."

She looks up and quirks just one eyebrow. "Really?" 

I must turn redder than the neon lights under the ceiling.

"Okay. So it's a slower night. It's a Sunday, for God's sake."

"Of course. And you're absolutely beautiful. I'm sure you make lots of money on the busy nights."

"You don't have to give me fake compliments, you know."

"I mean it. Just because I don't want a dance doesn't mean I don't think you're pretty." She smiles. I realize it's the first time she's actually smiled, and it changes her whole face. That brooding, sad-puppy look vanishes. She actually has a dimple. Just one dimple, on her left cheek.

"That's nice, but if you think flattery will get you somewhere—"

"I don't want to get anywhere, remember?" The smile widens. I'm stricken with a feeling she's laughing at me, not with me. "We'll just sit out the half-hour or whatever he paid you for, I'll tell him you gave me the time of my life, you leave with the money, and everyone is happy. And in the meantime, we can just chat like normal people."

"When normal people chat, one of them isn't undressed down to her panties," I point out.

She chuckles. "All right then. Put your shirt back on." She holds up my once-gold top. "If you can call this a shirt."

"Hey," I say, snatching my top out of her hand. "We're not in church here." 

I turn around and start putting the gold top back on.

"What's your tattoo?" she asks. "On your side."

I pause, the top halfway over my head, and roll my eyes. So much for put your shirt back on, huh. I pull it back up and turn sideways so she can examine my latest tattoo, still unfinished.

"Is it an angel?" she asks. She leans in closer to see, and somehow it doesn't seem like a ploy to cop a feel. So I let her. Her fingertips linger a quarter of an inch above my skin, and for a second I wonder if I was wrong—but she catches herself and pulls her hand away. Like she'd almost touched a flame. "No," she says. "The wings are her shadow, right? It's a swan. A girl with the shadow of a swan."

I run my hand over my tattoo, self-conscious. "It's not finished," I say, stating the obvious.

"She's turning into a swan?" she asks softly. "Is it Swan Lake?"

I'm impressed she even knows Swan Lake. But that's not it. Usually though, I feed everyone the same lie every time: it's an ugly duckling thing, she grew up into a beautiful swan. Then they can say, I can't imagine you were ever an ugly duckling! And then they can feel good about themselves.

I don't know why, but I tell her the truth. "It's Leda," I say.

"Leda? Greek mythology?"

"Yeah. The woman who turned down Zeus, so he turned into a swan and raped her." 

The words resonate, strange and dark and out of place, like a slap.

"You don't have to answer," she says, "but why did you decide to get it?"

"You're right. I don't have to answer."

She gives a solemn nod, and doesn't press on.

"It's for a poem," I blurt. And immediately kick myself. What is this, weekly confession? Is she going to tell me to do twenty Hail Marys for my sins? 

"A poem?"

"A Margaret Atwood poem. She wrote a poem called Helen of Troy Does Counter Dancing. Ever read it?" 

She shakes her head no. "Helen of Troy was Leda's daughter, though, right? By Zeus."

"It's about a stripper."

That sobers her up. "Margaret Atwood wrote a poem about a stripper?"

"Google it if you don't believe me."

"I believe you." Her gaze meets mine, and suddenly I realize I never did put my shirt back on. Hastily, I pull it over my head.

When I pull the shirt down and can see again, she's shaking her head. "You seem different... what did you say your name was?"

"Sky." I never did tell her my name.

"You seem like a smart girl, Sky."

"Please," I say, rolling my eyes. "Don't ask me what a smart girl like me is doing here."

"I wasn't going to. We all have our reasons for doing what we do, and yours are none of my business."

I groan. "God, will you stop?"

"Stop what?"

"Stop that. And act like a normal customer. Go on, ask me what my real name is, whether you can take me out to dinner. Ask me if my parents know what I do. Try to cop a feel when I'm sitting on your lap."

"I thought I said I wasn't interested."

"Oh, please! You know how many people say that? Until the curtain's drawn, that is, and then they turn into an octopus."

She starts to laugh. It's so clear and genuine that I find myself cracking up too. "And you're funny. Damn, you'd be a real catch, if only—"

She cuts herself off. The laughter dies in my throat.

"If only what?" I find myself saying. My voice is hoarse.

"Nothing. Sorry. How much time do we have left?" She's avoiding my gaze. That feeble connection between us has snapped, blown away in the wind like a silvery thread of spiderweb.

"We're done," I say. We still have about seven minutes left. But I mean it. We're done.

If only what? If only she met me somewhere else? I've heard that one before, and all it did was crack me up. Then why do I stand here feeling like she just stabbed me under the ribs?

She practically leaps up from the armchair. "Thank you... Sky. Thank you. It was lovely."

She gives me an awkward Quebecois air kiss on both sides, at a respectful foot of distance. And then she pushes aside the curtain and bolts from the booth without a backward glance, leaving me there in my tacky gold outfit, with a sucking black hole of confusion and emptiness slowly expanding in my chest.

Girls like me don't get happy endings.
     I know what I am.
     .  I set boundaries between myself and my past, only to end up with a low-quality nightclub.  Even my excuse to work there is as bad as it can be: I work here to pay for college, get my technical degree from the most prestigious university in Montreal.  Although baffling, in the daytime: I'm just a student and at night a stripper!

     But the inevitable happens and collides with my life.  And now there's one woman who knows all of my characters: the quiet Alaskan student, anti-social, and cruel Heaven stripper.

      This woman is beautiful and complicated.  It comes from the other side of life, where this side does not want me and does not accept me.  But she does amaze me and her hot and warm hands on my skin make me feel things I gave up long ago.

     So what's the problem!

     The problem is, this woman is a teacher in my classic photography lessons at university!

into the grey poem novel

A Poem for a Day

The Grey (Dramione)

Reverend Insanity

The Rebirth of SOPHIA GREEN

Castle of Black Iron

Author has taken this story off this platform.

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