This is the start of my loveless marriage with  my iceberg boss, where I don't want to fall in love with him at all~~ 
But life always takes the route which is difficult and full of thorns , so I don't know what the future holds...

Chapter 4 

Kong POV 

My head is still aching, and my surroundings are still spinning, Where I am, I can't recall what happened last night. As I check there's a body beside me. I gaze upon it and I felt shocked. 

Kong: Kate!??? 

Kate: Good Morning Kong! 

Kong: Why are we naked? What really happened last night. Kate, Oh, my God! Sorry I can't recall anything. 

I hold my fist, this cannot be happened, I cried and looked to Kate's eye. 

Kate: Nothing to worry Kong, we both knew that we love each other, and what happened last night. I knew that we enjoyed it both. 

Kong: Kate! 

I gather all the strength left in me, and 

Kong: Sorry if you felt that way last night but we had misunderstanding here. I cannot love you as much you wanted. I' m already taken by someone else. and I'm sorry if it turns out to be like this. Kate hope you understand. 

Kate: Yes, Kong I knew that you love with someone else. That night when we went to PUB there is man standing far from us. He sees us directly; He's eye is full of anger. If you can see him, maybe you left me alone. 

Is he's talking with AIOON, I looked to her eyes directly and a smirk comes out from his lips? 

Kate: You know Kong you cannot do this to me! I can ask my father right now to stop the partnership with you, and I know that you don't want it and I can be your worst nightmare right now. 

Since she cannot get the response, she got her phone and dial a number. Our eye met, she threatening me, but what can I do right now? 

Kate: Just be my boyfriend or be my Husband! 

The last word of Kate echoing in my head. I don't want this to happened how about AIOON, how about the future I'm telling and preparing for him. How about the promises I gave to him? 

Arthit POV 

It is already 8am and I didn't receive any call from him. I still wonder where in the world he is hiding and the fact that I what to know, what really happen last night. I already dialed his number but still I cannot reach him. I felt betrayed last night but why I'm still caring and looking for him. 

Phone Rings. 

Someone's calling I do hope that this is Kong 

Kong: (in crying tone), AIOON can we meet later I need to tell you something. Meet me at 6pm. 

Arthit: Hey!! 

I didn't finish my sentence since he already dropped the call. He wants to see me later, but why? What really happen last night? I arrived at my office but still I can't focus to my work. Something's bothering me, I felt cold and something is not right. The time past by and I rushed to see Kong. 

Kong POV 

Is this the right thing to do? Shit, I don't want to think anymore, but how about AIOON, I promise him that I will love him. Shit! Shit! Shit! 

Arthit: Kong, As I heard his voice the tears drop, I can't stop it, the last thing I see he is already crying too. 

Kong: AIOON, sorry 

When he heard, I saw to his face that he needs an answer. 

Arthit: Why, what really happened last night.? I saw you last night and a girl accompanied you. Is she Kate? I want to approach but, When I saw that you are happy with her. I, I, felt betrayed. Kong, do you love her? Do you recall what I told you last day? That I want you to have a family. Maybe she's the right one for you. 

I tried to be brave enough. But hearing and seeing he like this I can't tell him what exactly 
happened to us last night. But 

Kong: AIOON, somethings happened to me with Kate last night. I don't really know if it is really happened, and now she is using it against my will. I'm afraid that she also used it against to our company. 

I approach AIOON, wipe the tears in his face and look directly to his eyes. 
Kong: Sun you knew that I love you so much, but this time I don't know what I should do. AIOON please, please, forgive me. 

I looked to his eyes but, he cried a lot, and as I can see to his eye that he wants me to justify that thing. 

But what can I do right know it's our business who's in the line, 

Kong: AIOON sorry, we need to fix ourselves, she will arrive here soon. 

Silence filled in the air, and she came – it's time for the truth. 

Kate: Did you wait long. Why your eyes teary my dear. And who is he? 
With a tone of interrogating 

Kong: Kate he's Arthit, the one that I already told you. My Senior when I took Engineering. 

Kate: Nice meeting you Arthit thank you for caring Kong, he is an intelligent man. 
I cannot understand what she's saying. Right now, my attention is with AIOON. I looked to 
Arthit's face he turned it down. 

Arthit: Thank you for inviting me, hope that you have a good night. Always fell in love and look for each other. Kate promise me that you won't give Kong a headache and nice meeting you Kate. 

After telling this he stands and take his farewell bid. I tried to stop him, but Kate holds my wrist. 

ARTHIT POV 

Why this is happening to us, Why 

"I know it's been some time 
But there's something on my mind 
You see, I haven't been the same 
Since that cold November day 
We said we needed space 
But all we found was an empty place 
And the only things 
I learned Is that I need you desperately" 

Why, why this happened to us? I cried while walking in the rain, all the people that I bump to want to help me, but I ignore them. My heart is hurting. 

"Where do broken hearts go 
Can they find their way home? 
Back to the open arms 
Of a love that's waiting there 
And if somebody loves you 
Won't they always love you 
I look in your eyes 
And I know that you still care, 
for me" 

Where do I go now, I don't want to go home, I want to go somewhere, I still walking and as I see. I'm heading to a familiar place. This is the place where I took his first kiss. This is the place where we exchange our gears and exchange our bows. Ahh this is the place where I asked him to break up with me. 
As I remember all this thing. I cried a lot. Can I jump here so the pain will now ease? I already giving my first step and a voice stop me, but I'm decided 

Kong: AIOON don't do this lets talked. AIOON, please go down. I'm here now don't do this please. AIOON, sorry if I'm not brave enough to fight for our love. AIOON please stay with me. I can't leave a day without you. AIOON!!!! 

I looked around and see him for the last time and I smiled to him 

Arthit: Kong, please remember this I always love you. 

Then I jump in the water without hesitation. 

"Don't say goodbye 
It's hard to let you go 
Tomorrow seems so far away for me to know 
If you and I." 

Kong: AIOON nooooooo!!! 

"Will always be in love for evermore 
Don't leave me with just memories 
All alone 
All alone" 

The last time I heard is a splash of water.

It's been 7 years.
Kongpob graduated in his masters degree abroad and handle his dad's company while Arthit continue his work at Ocean Electric. Both of them are stable...
 
"I'm smilling looking around. The right time has come, the preparations are all set, the venue, the caterer, the music is lovely. It's all done, all I need to do is to calm my self, smile and wait for him!"

THE HUSBAND is coming but whose that person on the point of view? the wife or a husband too

"Your Highness, is it true that the Princess is in Wang?" I asked as I was now confused in front of the Queen as she sat on her throne with a serious face.

"It's true what Fate told you so start preparing you will go back to the man you love but please don't put that first."

"But I'm still confused, Your Highness. How is it that the Princess is there when I didn't see her when I went around looking for her?" I ask because I don't really understand what's going on.

"Enlarge your mind Feng Yiren, if my daughter is not in the capital of the Wang Dynasty where can you find her?" said the Queen who gave me a place where I could find the Queen. "In the Palace? But when I visited there I did not see even a shadow of her."

"The questions are enough, Yiren. It's time for you to go back to the Palace, we know you will be let in there because you are the Former Queen of that place so just go back there if you still want to get the man you love.."

_____
___

I am now dressing Jin Shuang in his clothes. We slept together.

"I feel like you're really restless, is there a problem?" Jin Shuang asked when I finished dressing him and now we are both facing each other. "I have a big problem. I don't know if I can handle this problem, it's not about my persona. It's about you."

"Me? I don't have a problem, you don't have to worry. I promised to love you. I'm the only person I can love, I won't let you down."

"Only one person will love but it's not me, Jin Shuang we both know that. I only want you to love me but I know you can't do that. Your happy smile on me hides the sadness you have been experiencing for years and that loneliness is none other than the woman you truly love. I don't want to lock you up in love you don't need."

I said sadly because I knew in my heart and mind that was the truth. Feng Yiren is the one he loves and not me, when that woman comes back she will also lose her love for me. If I could just beg him not to come back I would, but I can't beg.

I grew up in a world full of pride. I don't want to be small just because of love but if it's for Jin Shuang, I definitely will.

My heart is very weak when it comes to the man in front of me now. "What are you saying? Is it because of the Former Queen? Yue-- Yao Xing, you don't have to worry about the Former Queen being dead for a long time. Right now I'm going to the Hall with the Ministers to announce the decision to make you Queen soon." My heart is happy because of what he said but I still can't force myself to smile because of the pain. "What if the person you think is dead is alive? Who will you choose? Is her? Or Me? You know Jin Shuang, there are many impossible things happening in the world today, the one where the resurrection of the Former Queen is possible. I don't want to believe but she's really alive." Weak but I know he heard but I don't know why he wasn't even surprised. Is he hiding his reaction because he doesn't want to hurt me. "I know." after he said that it was as if cold water had poured on my world both my eyes widened my hands started to tremble with fear. I'm afraid that Yiren has really shown up to him, and he doesn't want to love me anymore because the first one is back and he really loved me. "I know that she's alive I saw her. She was looking at me, and at that time you were lying down because you lost consciousness. I saw her secretly watching me, I saw her alive. She was alive, at first I was surprised but then The second time I lost my panic. I felt differently during those times, if you didn't showed up in my life, I would have run to follow her but I didn't do it because I felt something. I didn't feel the joy of seeing her alive, it was as if I didn't have anything to her is it because what I think is that she is alive, and it is good for me not to be guilty anymore, that is what I thought and what I felt during those times, the more love for you. I am more afraid of losing you than of losing her, if she comes back in front of me now, I will still choose you." When he said those things, my heart beat faster. Fun, joy, love I don't know how I will feel at these times. I don't know but I saw my own happy smile and immediately hugged him tightly, I feel secured loving and cherishing him more. Now I can say that he is really mine. "I think this is maybe why I love you, sometimes I wonder why I, the son of Queen Liones, fell in love with someone. In this sense, this is the reason why I will choose to love you and you in this life of mine. and in my next life."

_____
___ 

"Clan Leader, why hasn't Emperor Jin Shuang woken up yet?" asked Liang Mai Sen, the General of the Demon Emperor Jin Shuang.

"He is currently on a dream where he already meet the person who'll change his life."

"What do you mean by that Clan Leader? The person whose gonna change his life?" the General asked while still being confused while looking at the closed eyes of Emperor Jin Shuang. "Mai Sen, do you believe love can change a person?" i asked.

"What do you mean? That it is really possible for a person to change just because of love? Clan Leader we are demons, sentences like that doesn't define us at all. We are hated by everyone, if what you said is really true then who could love us? We are demons, and demons are the most cunning perso in their lives."

"General Mai Sen, you just need to open your eyes and see the world. Our world is big itself, possibilities has entered our world. One person is destined for each of us, you just need to wait because waiting can be worth it for everyone."

Lan Yao Xing, is the Princess of Luo Tribe. The Tribe where Gods or Goddesses are living, all of the people on Luo Tribe is living with their different kinds of Luo Xia power. Every person in the Tribe is as powerful, so everyone expect the Princess to be their heir to the throne who also had the same power as the Queen of Luo Tribe, Lan Liones.

But as no one expected, the Queen gave birth to a daughter whose power is just to self destruct. That's why no one ever gives her the love that she wanted even her mother hated her for being weak. But because of grief she wore the Crown only for Crown Princesses and that is her sin, she is the only child of the Queen so she is the Crown Princess but the Queen never agreed to it.

To atone her sin, Queen Liones declared a death penalty. But before she was killed by her mother, she already self destructed herself that caused her, her death. But little did she know, she was reincarnated in the place where people had no power, the only thing for people to live is to have money.

She reincarnated in a place called, China and there is one person ruling its place and its The King, Wang Jin Shuang. As the smartest person in the world, she caught everyones attention even the King itself is caught by her. But little did she know, she was already the person that the King wants to assasinate. Because he expects that reincarnated Yao Xing, his Concubine as the spy from Ling Dynasty the neighboring country.

The assasination was cancelled and cancelled everytime until he just found out recently that he now doesn't want to kill the Concubine, but to keep her as his.

"You didn't do anything to hurt him? Are you saying that I have to praise you and know your favor? " Willam asked coldly.
Chu Chu's pupils shrank in fear. "No, that's not what I meant. I'm saying that I didn't hurt Xin Ba, and you can't hurt me, that's all. "
She really didn't dare to take credit now. She just didn't want to be hurt by Willam again.
"You didn't do anything to hurt Xin Ba? If it's really as you said, you have a little bit of affection for me, and you should know how important Xin ba is to me. You would also tell me about this or hand Xin Ba to me.
But what did you do for me Don't say that you love me. You don't love me at all. You only love my status, my property, and the glory that I can give you.
If you loved me, you wouldn't have dealt with Arthur's kidnapping of Xin ba like this,"Willam B said coldly.
Chu Chu was so scared that her whole body trembled. Her wounds were hurting from her own trembling.
"No, I love you. I only love you, not your property, your status, and the glory that you can give me. I only love the pure you.
It is precisely because I love you that I hope you belong to me.
Xin Ba is the son of you and Lian Lian. Why should I protect the son of my love rival If you want a child, I can give birth to it for you. Why can't we have a child?
The person in love is not you at all. Why do you have to love her so much She is not worth your sacrifice.
Willam, you are the dumbest person in the world. The woman you love is the person who does not love you the most in the world,"Chu Chu said loudly.
She was unwilling and did not want to see Lian Lian get all of Willam.
Even if it was to destroy or hurt the rumors, she wanted to make Willam Hate Lian Lian.
The corner of Willam B's lips was filled with coldness. His gaze was dangerous and cold. He had to say that Chu Chu's words hurt his Achilles'heel.
Lian Lian did not love him. Whether it was Willam or him, Lian Lian did not love him.
And He loved Lian Lian like Willam.
It was as if their bodies had the same genes and were infected with the disease of love and love.
If it was a disease, he had to treat it. If it wasn't good, he didn't want it.
His hands clenched into fists. "You're right. Lian Lian is the person who doesn't love me the most in the world.
"But you helped Arthur kidnap my son. I won't let you off either.
"Tell me, where is my son? " He asked aggressively.
Chu Chu looked at Willam in surprise. "since you know that he was locked in my secret room by Arthur, why are you still asking me where he is? "
"What nonsense are you talking about? If he was in your secret room, why would I ask? You were the one who moved it away. Tell me, where did you hide Xin Ba? " Willam B asked.
Chu Chu's eyes revealed a look of fear. The way she looked at Willam did not seem like he was joking with her.
Moreover, it did not seem fake that Willam was in such a hurry to find Xin Ba.
"Do you mean that Xin Ba is not in my secret room? " She asked.
"Of course not. Do you think that if I found Xin Ba, I would still keep you alive? " Willam B said.
Chu Chu gritted her teeth on her lips. She did not feel any pain even when her lips were bitten. There was nothing that hurt her more than hearing Willam's words.
Willam had spared her life only because Willam hadn't found Xin Ba.
Only because Willam felt that she might know the whereabouts of Xin Ba.
"Then I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. I have no idea where XIN BA is hidden.
"Xin BA has always been placed in my secret room by Arthur. I didn't bother with him. "because he has always been sleeping, it's impossible for him to run away. Thus, I've always kept the door of the secret room closed.
"after that, I went to look for Ye Xinghun's weight loss medicine. "after I took the medicine, I was in extreme pain. I was in so much pain that my mind wasn't clear. I didn't even know how I managed to escape from my own small building!
After that, I was brought by Arthur to his small building. I never returned to my small building again.
After I successfully transformed, I went to look for you. I didn't return to my small building either. I didn't know that XIN BA was no longer in the secret room of my small building."Chu Chu said.
Willam's gaze landed on Chu Chu's small face like an eagle's, not sparing Chu Chu's every expression. Although Chu Chu was extremely afraid of him, her eyes revealed an expression of fear. However, Chu Chu's gaze didn't avoid him. In other words, Chu Chu wasn't lying.
"If anything happens to Xin Ba, I will not let you and Arthur go. I will make you suffer a hundred times more. "
Willam B said fiercely, turned around and walked out of the cell.
He indeed could not let Chu Chu get hurt now, because if Chu Chu was injured a little more, she would very likely die.
How could he let Chu Chu Die?
He would only make Chu Chu's life worse than death.
But the clues he just found were broken again. He thought that if he caught Chu Chu and Arthur, he could interrogate Xin BA's whereabouts, but now he did not know where Xin BA was?
He could still guess who had kidnapped Xin Ba, but now he did not even know who had kidnapped Xin Ba.
Xin Ba was taken away just like that, inexplicably.
He walked out of the Dungeon and looked up at the sky, thinking about who else could have taken Xin ba away
Suddenly, his pupils constricted as he thought of something?
Lian Lian walked over from not far away and immediately saw Willam B standing at the entrance of the heavenly prison.
She walked quickly to William B and said, "I heard that you have locked Chu Chu and Arthur in the heavenly prison. I want to interrogate them. "
She directly stated her request.
Willam B retracted his gaze from the sky and looked down at Lian Lian's small face.
"Do you want to interrogate them to find out where they've hidden Xin Ba? " He asked.
"Yes, they must know where Xin Ba is, " Lian Lian said.
"I've already interrogated them. They don't even know who transferred Xin Ba away, " Willam B said.
"Wasn't Chu Chu the one who transferred Xin Ba away? " Lian Lian asked.
"No, she was almost beaten to death by me, but she doesn't know anything, so she probably didn't transfer Xin Ba away. Otherwise, how could she have the backbone to endure that kind of pain and not tell us where XIN BA is? " Willam B said.
Lian Lian bit her lips. "How is this possible! How could she not know where Xin Ba is? "
"It's also possible. Someone took advantage of the fact that she's not in the small building to steal Xin Ba away. " Willam B said.
"impossible, no one has the ability. At least, no one in this palace has the ability to do so. " Lian Lian said.
In the entire palace, the only people who had the motive to commit the crime were Arthur and Chu Chu. She had once suspected Ye Xinghun. However, she had searched ye Xinghun's small building. Ye Xinghun's place did not have XIN BA. Moreover, she felt that if ye Xinghun wanted to harm Xin Ba, Ye Xinghun should have chosen to poison him instead of taking Xin Ba away.

"Uncle, I was punished for being late! " "Buy the school. "
"Uncle, I was bullied! " "SEND THEM TO HEAVEN! "
In this era of competing for fathers, Qin Sheng never competed for fathers. Those things were too extravagant. She didn't have them, she only competed for uncles!
Ever since she had a rich uncle, she lived a life of fighting and being cleaned up by others, causing trouble and being scapegoated by others.
Her three big goals in life were to make him fall in love with her, fall in love with her, fall in love with her!

In club , wow oh sung its really funny to enjoy the party,  orginshe listen to me you don't drinking any shapping ok  , she had not come lets dance oh sung have fun ok , originshe I'm really nervous what he say to me , she tails everything him hey don't be panic oh sung relax  , if she tails everything but he know she love himself ok  (song , dicolight , music) , see orgin , where is she ? there ok, lets go meat her and boyfriend.  hanson enter the club where is origin? I want findout,  hi miss bae noo ri ,hi orgin hi oh sung ,so I want introduce my boyfriend mr zang he hi nice meat you too miss origin,  hi oh sung , hi so what are you doing originshe ? I'm doing job in mda company nice and you I'm doctor which part  neuronsurgeon oh you dont have much  time to spent with bae noo ri,  don't worry about me she also busy with study , oh sung so you decide what are you doing for future youe ofcourse I decide want to arcilogist and he support me , its really nice , if you don't mind I soory to say like these but your age difference long , bae noo ri said I know what you said , love is important for me he is first man to realise me what is love ? it feels good,  I love him very much , so I want asked one more question what the mean of love , love is emotion , carring person , in any switchtuation  if you need help he come with help you that time everybody not hear to come and help th, woory about him, that s the love you not say I atttracted you,  I love you is not love , so you understand originshe,  yes and you oh sung I also ,   so how to meat like each other its really interesting story i will tell you another day lets have fun enjoy the party , (they dancing have fun with shapping ) hanson find origin he see her dancing with one boy , oh sung said look out origin hanson ying what i do (hide somewhere ) I  go washroom call you   tail me he is gone are not ok excuse me (in washroom ) oh sung where us she ? she going in washroom ok 📲 one second please any one call me I want to recive the call , sure go,  I will come back (in washroom ) hello oh sung its me I know you, tail me hes gone pr not no he is not go what i do oh sung I cant stay at bathroom (hey miss get out of the bathroom ) hold please,  yes miss why are you getting late? everyone waiting for you ? soory,  soory I really much drink , I cant handle drink,  soory dont come back again ok ,  hello oh  sung every girls get out of the washroom what I do ? in any how you comback outside but how it possible,  I will tail janhan originshe  hangover can you go washroom  handle originshe what ? you said do you know I never drink any alcohol in my life , listen origin I know you never drink just do the acting ok , how can I acting ? waiter , yes what you like ? I  want 🍸🍸🍸🍸 shapping ok mam have these ok I'm ready for acting , oh sung said mr janhan  what happened? (bae noo ri said) if you dont mind I need to help mr janhan what help ? origin call me she tails me I really tired help me , can you help her ofcourse where is ?  she outside ladies washroom what ?  I can't go washroom it not allow the boys , dont be panic I will help her thanks bae noo ri its nothing now we are friends , hello origin hello bae noo ri and janhan comes are you ready I'm  ready (she acting behave like drink girl ) bae noo ri hey orgin wake up help me janhan handle one hand ok fine hey orgin please try to stand up  ok , lets go origin oh sung wait for you in club ,( in club ) hanson what i do ? if he see me he spoil the disscussion  ( any how I dont want see him hide my face ) bae noo ri help me  any one can see my face ok take my muffler hide face thanks where is he ?  one second call him, soory janhan , be noo ri I will call the taxi , thanks for help lets go origin , (bae noo ri said ) take care her ok bhy see you then 🚕 (in taxi ) nice acting origin,  what acting everyone say me the alcoholic girl,  hey you I know you are not alcoholic girl,  but why are he come to the club  ,  I see him , he found someone , never mind , so how to acting janhan not realize are you doing acting , are you stupid ? I  drink shapping what ? you drink yes I'm they dont belive me may i drink so much , thats right , one second I call hanson ying manager what? don't do these origin but why ? ok (origin home ) grandmaI'm coming,  


(in club) where is she going ? I think she is  gone home , oh its really gate late I off now in home,  (manager 10 th miss call ) 📲in home sir dont miss the shooting , tomorrow ok bhy see you then . grandma I'm hungry have these🍜🍜🍜🍜🍜 everyone come the lunch is ready , oh shin si gi what a present supperise?  I thought you never come , so how was day ? my marriage arrangement in fixed congratulations shin si gi its really quickly you know oh sung she ya (lee min said ) that why you did not recive my call ? excuse me please (originshe room ) can I coming , come shin si gi how are do these to me ?  you say you love me I know that s missunderstanding orgin I never love you that day you said to me , this day I say you right orgin this missunderstand us , congrats oh sung for marriage , (oh sung said ) I want asked one question?  you think about me what I say ? no but really feel bad you never recive my call,  why you certainly go home , I really get hurt you said to me that day , so you are not happy with marriage,  no that not what I mean ok, ofcourse not happy but why ?  its really quickly for me marriage, parents force me , they tail these is perfect  girl of yours wife and you both perfect each other , so what's the problem? the problem is I meat only one day she not much talking to me, that day ring ceremony day so how to say yes ? she is very preety and nice girl , so I never do that to say no that girl , it should be hurt , do you have tri ,who she beautiful girl,  miss kim so hyun so she is my fathers best friend daughter so you made each other before ,

I snuggle up to his warm body, not wanting to ever let go. He falls asleep, holding me close to him. I want to tell him the truth, but there is something that stops me. Kaien's words run over and over in my mind.

" Do you think he will love you?" 

That hurts me more than you could know. It wasn't fair that a woman, that loved him truly and fully, he wouldn't see. Yet, one that played with his heart and mind he would. Then that wasn't just in anime. That was in real life as well. It just hurt. I was willing to leave everything to be his. I just wasn't sure, if he would feel the same. If he would still be in love with this twit, that couldn't make up her mind to save herself, Or care for me?.

Would I hate Yuki if it wasn't for Zero? No, Not really. She wasn't a bad person. She did have some good points. She was caring and good. Just she really needed to grow up and make up her mind. Even When Kaname wasn't there anymore, she still took forever to be with Zero. Yea the pureblood shit, there was always something. I know. I know. It just gets old.

I knew things would have to take place in the Anime for Zero to move on. The part about Zero drinking Ichuri dry had to take place so he would be able to live. What was the point if he would turn level E and Die? That isn't what I wanted. I knew for some parts to happen, that might mean I would return to my world.

 I just look up at him, taking in how gorgeous he is, and hug him tighter. I just wanted him to know the truth in the case that happened. I didn't want Yuki to get the benefit of my feelings. Or for him to think, I left him. Would I be able to tell him face to face? I doubted it, but I would have to try. If when I would go back, Yuki would have no idea and would hurt him even more. I couldn't let that happen. I didn't want him hurt.

I just laid there all night not falling asleep. Just holding him and enjoying being close to him. Even when he was being an ass, I still loved him. I knew he was hurt and things that happened to him wasn't fair. I understood why he was the way he was.

When morning comes, Zero wakes up in my arms. I just kiss his lips tenderly. Smiling up at him, tears rolling down my cheeks. I just can't help but fear, he will hate me.

"Yuki what is wrong? Why are you crying?" Zero asks. 

"I have something to tell you. I am not sure. How you're going to take it. Or even believe it." I say. 

"Just tell me. You know I am here for you." Zero answers.

I sit up in bed, on the opposite side and look straight at him. He isn't making this any easier. He is holding my hands and looking back at me so sweetly.

"Zero, The last four weeks have been incredible for me. Everything we have shared, I want you to know is true. None of it is a lie." I state. 

"I know. Are you changing your mind? You're going to him aren't you?" Zero snaps. 

"No, None of that. Zero, I'm not Yuki." I answer. 

"What do you mean Not Yuki? Is this a game? WTF?" Zero huffs.

 "Calm your sarcastic ass for a second. Look, four weeks ago, I was in my own universe. I was thinking about you all the time. Wanting to be with you. Just in my universe your not real. It could never be. I went to bed with you on my mind and winded up in Yuki's body. I thought it was a dream. That No matter what I did, it wouldn't matter. I would wake up and it would be over. So I played her. I made love with you. Something I dreamed of for a long time. Just I haven't gone back into my world yet. Kaien knows and told me things have to happen here so that probably means, I won't be here much longer. I don't want you to think that any of that was a lie. Or that when Yuki returns, she changed her mind. It's not her. It's me!" I blurt out.

 "Who the hell are you? WHere IS YUKI?" Zero says standing up out of the bed to put his clothes on.

It figures he thinks about Yuki. I have been screwing his brains out for four weeks, and he thinks of her. Thanks. I say in my own head.

" I am Alexa. I don't know where Yuki is. I think she is probably back in my world in my body. It's the only thing. I can think." I answer.

 "God Is she ok? So this whole time you been playing me? Playing to be her?" Zero snaps.

 " I am not playing you. I love you. I never lied about that. My feelings are true. I guess. I have been playing her in a way, but you had to notice the difference. I am nothing like her. I know your smarter than that Zero. I asked you last night if you been happy. And you said yes, that we get along better now than ever. That you liked this new me. You saw it. You felt how much I care. The sex is real, what I do to you is real." I reply. 

"I don't know what the fuck is real anymore. I am going to class and I want you out of my bed. I will go to Kaien after class. I have to see how to get Yuki back here." Zero shouts.

 "Fucking Yuki. Is that all you ever see? Did she ever treat you right? Give to you what I have? NO! All she does is hurt you. Ignore your feelings and run after Kaname. Who she isn't true to either. She played you both if you think about it. ANd let me tell you You're not going to like the future. She only hurts you over and over again. Just your too damn good and you let it go. You don't want me? That's fine. Just think about yourself. If you want to live in Kaname's shadow for the rest of your life. Because when she comes back, it's back to the way it was. Back to her crying whining ways. Back to her obsessing over Kaname. Where I only see you. The last four weeks, There was only you!."I shout.

Zero doesn't know what to say, he gets dressed and walks out. Where I am left on his bed feeling terrible. Truth? Was it really all its made out to be? Sometimes it only hurts the ones we love. Sometimes it only makes things worse. I take a deep breath, heading to the showers, where I just fall apart. After all that, I still lost to her. I just close my eyes and cry.

After my pity party, I get dried and dressed. Not even heading to class. Why? I wasn't a student. I just walk the grounds and think.

After class Zero goes to see Kaien. He wants to see if anything I said was even true.

Zero bursts through Kaien office, slamming his fists on the wooden desk again.

"Is what she says true?" Zero demands. 

"Yes. I knew it right away. Zero You had to as well." Kaien says seriously.

 "Why didn't you tell me. How do get Yuki Back?" Zero asks. 

"There wasn't much to say. You were happy for once in your life. I let it go. I know she will go back to her world and Yuki will return. You may never see her again. Is that what you want?" Kaien asks.

 "I am not sure what I want. I am not even sure what the fuck is going on." Zero snaps.

 "I know. She cared for you so much, she appeared in our world as something you wanted more than anything. She wanted to make you happy. Being Yuki was that."Kaien answers.

 "So she does care? it's not all a lie?" Zero says. 

"No, it's not a lie at all. She should have told you sooner, but I see why she hasn't. Do you regret the last few weeks?" Kaien asks. 

"No, I enjoyed them. She makes me laugh, she takes care of me. She makes me feel like no one before, but I don't know if that's real or not. I thought she was Yuki." Zero replies.

 "I guess it doesn't matter either way. She will return to her world. It will be over." Kaien states. 

"Just like that?" Zero says. 

"Just like that, the way she entered is the way she will leave," Kaien responds.

Zero doesn't stay long, he runs out the door. Looking for Alexa. He runs all over the grounds searching for her. Finding her sitting on the roof, where they sit every night.

"Is it still you?"Zero asks. 

"At the moment yea. I am sorry Zero. It got more complicated as it went on. So much for a dream huh?" I say.

 "Is that what you wanted it to be?" Zero asks.

 "No, not really. No matter what you think, I really want to be with you. I wrote you a note on the second day. I was here. I thought once I went to sleep, I would wake up in my own bed. I didn't want you to think, that night was a mistake, so I wrote you a note and put it in your desk. Which you still didn't find. So I guess, you don't really look through there much. Huh?" I laugh.

 "No, I haven't had time. I have been too busy with you. I don't know how I feel. I am so confused." Zero answers. 

"I understand that. I thank you for at least telling me that." I respond. 

"So who are you In your own world," Zero asks. 

" I am a customer service worker for a company, a wife and a mother," I reply. 

"You have children? A Husband?" Zero snaps.

"Yea. I told you. I thought it was a dream, but even though it isn't. He never made me feel the way you do. The desire, want and love I feel for you. I never felt for anyone. Being here with you changed my life. When I go home, I can't be with someone, I don't feel this way towards." I respond. 

"You can't give up your life for me. We may never see each other again." Zero answers. 

"That may be true, but why live a lie? After feeling all this, it's hard to return." I comment. 

"You miss your kids?" Zero asks.

 "Yes, of course. I hope they are ok, but if Yuki is with them. I know she will take care of them. She won't hurt them. I know she is good like that. Zero I know this is pre-written out for you. I just want you to think about if you really love her. If she is really good for you? Don't you want to be someones only? Someones first thought? You deserve so much better. You're the kindness sweetness man I ever met."I remark. 

"I will think about it. You were willing to stay here and give up your life for me?" Zero asks. 

"Yes, I know that has to sound crazy. But I am happy here with you. Who wouldn't want to start there life over with someone they loved? Someone they knew would be loyal to them. Protect them? It's really hard to find in real life. It's hard to say goodbye to my family that would be the only part. I would really miss." I reply.

 "This is all too much." Zero answers.

 "I bet," I say. 

"I'm going back to my room. I need time to think." Zero remarks.

 "If I'm not here in the morning. I want you to know I love you, and I always will." I say.

Tears streaming down my face. Doing my best to keep myself together. When all I want to do is run in his arms. I just know he needs time. Which we don't have, I just don't push.

He just looks at me, not sure what to do. His own emotions playing with him. He knows if he walks away, it may be the last time he sees me. He just isn't good with words or feelings. He nods and walks away going to his room. Not willing to let himself believe, that he could love someone other than Yuki.

 He sits in bed just thinking about the last four weeks. How happy he has been. How Kaname hasn't been a problem. How the person he has been with makes him feel alive. He also thinks about Yuki, how she is doing? Where is she? Is she scared? His emotions are over the top.

I go back to my dorm room, where I haven't spent much time at all. It feels weird being here. I miss him so much already, and it's only been minutes. I feel terrible inside. I want to hold him, be with him. I just know better than to go to his dorm. He needs time. He may not really care for me after all. I thought I could make him happy. Make him see he was worth so much more. I guess, I didn't do anything at all, but hurt him more.

I get in my bed, wrapping myself up into a ball. Hurting more than any other time in my life. I try to get sleep but I can't. I get up and write about how I am feeling.

Zero, 

I just wanted to say. How sorry I really am. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to make you happy. I wanted you to feel love. To see how it is to be someone's everything and only.  I hope you can forgive me. I never thought it would get this far. I wish it was Me, Not Yuki. Not in her body. So you could see me for who I am, and just how much I truly love you. I will never forget you. I don't think. I could ever be with anyone else. I just hope that you choose to be with someone who shows you love. Who can give you everything you need and more. I hope your life is happy.

I love you, always and forever

Alexa.

I lay the note on my bedside table. Trying to get some sleep. Falling asleep with tears falling down my face.

This about you, waking up in Yuki's body. You finally are able to see what Zero is all about. To be with him. Is it all you ever wanted? Will, it last When he finds out your not her? Or will he run back to her? What if you could bring Zero into the real world, make him live a real life? Would he accept it? Or miss everything about his old life?

We talked for the rest of that night and decided to go somewhere just the two of us. We want to find out whether we still want the same things and if this relationship was something that could happen between us given the timing. It has been months since everything happened, but I am still not back to normal. I still have nightmares, I cannot be left alone overnight, I don't like being in the dark or watching scary movies, and I'm still not comfortable living on my own. 

I know what I want out of this relationship, and I am pretty sure I can do this, but this weekend is to clarify what it means to be "us" and whether we want to start where we left off or just try again. By "try again," we discussed getting to know each other, going through the dating process, and everything else that comes with it. Personally, I do not want to do this, but I also want to make sure I can handle this relationship and be a good girlfriend. I cannot be selfish, he has already given me so much, I cannot continue taking without giving something back. 

Of course, saying all this about Damon, I wonder about Brandon. He has been there for me since I have come back. I didn't want to just abandon him. We were going to ask Brandon to come with us for our weekend, not as a pity invite, but because I love Bradon like a brother and he always gives me good advice that I trust. I was hoping to get some advice from him about this, but he was gone from the apartment before we woke up from our two-hour nap. 

Now, being the next morning we are both packing to go to the cabin. We wanted a weekend away from everything and everyone. We just want it to be the two of us for forty-eight hours before I have to go back to work on Monday. 

The weather is getting warmer again. It is the perfect time to go to the cabin, really. It is nice enough where we can sit by the lake with a small fire and a blanket. It's exciting to see the trees getting greener, the flowers beginning to grow, and the birds coming alive and singing their tunes. 

"Are you ready to go?" 

Grabbing my purse and duffle bag, I nod at Damon and walk out of the bedroom. He grabs his wallet, keys, and duffle bag before following me. Soon enough we are at the car and the familiar purr meets my ears. 

"Do you want to drive?" 

I turn to Damon, expecting him to be joking around, but his face is serious. 

"Actually?" 

"Yes, I'm serious. Do you want to drive?" 

My excitement is palpable. I don't remember the last time I drove this car. Actually, I wonder if it was the time he taught me how to drive a stick shift. 

"Yes! Yes! Yes! I would love to drive!"

Scrambling out of my seat, I'm already opening the driver's side door before Damon can even unbuckle his seatbelt. He laughs as he gets out of the car. Jumping into the driver's seat, I impatiently wait for Damon to get back into the car. He takes what seems like forever, but he finally closes his door and the car is out of park only a second or two later. 

It takes me a couple of shifts before my instincts take over. I weave in and out of lanes until we pull onto the road where the cabin is. We pass the hidden street three times before I decide that I should end this joyride and head onto the road. 

We pull up to the cabin less than five minutes later and I reluctantly get out of the car. I wish I could drive that car all day long.

"How was it?" 

"The best! I want to drive home." 

He shakes his head as he laughs. I know he will definitely let me drive home. I am a great driver, I think I am even better than him. 

Walking into the house ignites memories in my mind. The last time I was here was for the picnic with Damon's family. He has grown since then, helping take over the business and all, but it still slightly frightens me about an episode like that happening again. I mean, what if Brandon wasn't there last time? I don't know what I would have done. 

"Is everything alright? You look pale." 

"I'm fine. It's just been such a long time since I have been here and it's a little colder than I remember."  

"I'll go turn on the heat. It should warm up soon. Until then, do you want to grab a blanket and watch a movie? We can turn on the fireplace so it gets a little warmer quicker." 

"That sounds like a great idea. I'll grab the blanket from our bedroom." 

Walking up the stairs, I familiarize myself with the layout of the house. It is crazy that I haven't been here in a little under ten months. 

Our bedroom is my last stop. It is at the end of the hallway and has the best view of the lake. Our bed is still made the same way it was from when we left last time. Nothing has been moved. Has he not been here? 

Reminding myself to ask him later, I take the blanket off the bed and head back downstairs. The fireplace is already on and the tv has a movie set up. 

"Took you long enough. Did you get lost?" His tone is light and joking.

"No, I just wanted to look around again. I miss being here. Have you been here at all?" 

"Yes, I try to come every two weeks even if it is to make sure everything is running properly and no animals were able to get in." 

"Do you sleep over a lot?" 

"Every time I come here." 

I don't want to sound too pushy so I leave it there. 

"I didn't sleep in our bed because I didn't want to be reminded of how I failed you. We don't need to talk about it again. I see how stupid I was, but I just couldn't help thinking that way back then."

I nod and let the conversation end. I want us to talk about the present and the future, not harp on the past. 

Damon turns on the movie when neither of us says anything for a minute or two. 

We pause the movie halfway through, the house is significantly hotter and both of us are distracted, barely paying attention to the tv. I may not know what is going on in Damon's mind, but I know that I just want to talk and see where we want to go next. 

Gathering my courage, "can we just talk now and get it over with? Well, not over with because this means something to me, but I want to know where we are heading." My voice is soft, unconfident almost. 

"Uh, yea. Good idea. I'm glad you said something." 

Feeling significantly better, I am more comfortable talking about our plans. "What do you want out of 'us'? Do you want there to be an 'us'?"

"Rose, I love you. I know the last couple of months, well, more like the last year, has been really challenging. It took a large toll on me which is the reason I haven't been as close to you as I was before everything. But I want you to know that I love you. I loved you then and I still love you now. I don't know the magnitude of your feelings for me, given everything, but my feeling for you never stopped. If anything they have grown at seeing how resilient and strong you are. You had every reason to just stop everything, but you kept fighting, even now you are fighting, and I am so proud of you." 

My chest warms and butterflies swarm in my chest. Everyone tells me that I am strong, but to hear it from the man I love, who went through the same thing as me, makes me feel proud of myself. It makes me feel strong. 

"Thank you. It's so relieving to hear you say that. For the past couple of weeks, I was so unsure where you stood with me. I didn't know if you liked me or not. I would understand your need to get away from me, I'm a mess. But to hear you say all this is a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. Thank you.

"As for my feelings, I want a relationship with you. Even without remembering you and 'us' there was always something between us. I could feel it every time my chest would get warm or my heart would beat a little faster than normal. I love you."

Similar to last night, Damon scoops me into his arms and lap, and we slowly, passionately make out. Neither of us rushes the kiss, after all, we have all the time in the world. And that is the greatest gift anyone could ever give me.

Rose is the typical college-girl who goes unnoticed but secretly craves adventure, and someone to share her life with. Being a college senior with a writing major, she needs to find someone to give her the inspiration for her first novel. The next day, she bumps into Brandon, who has a secret stepbrother, Damon, who is running from a dangerous past. Together, the boys give Rose everything she has always wanted: excitement, family, and inspiration. However, not everything is perfect. Damon’s past is quickly catching up to him and Rose may be in more danger than she bargained for.

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