It's an assassin's job to kill and many in the field have a policy; all witnesses must be terminated. Purga, whose real name only the dead are aware of, follows said policy religiously. That's until she is caught during work by a young man who is happy to know he'll be put to death and actively encourages it. To him, being a witness was a blessing, to Purga it was a curse.

Tells about a girl who has the ability to see those who cannot be seen or what we often call "GHOSTS" She meets with her Ghost friends when she lives at her grandmother's house in the Bandung area. The daughter was named Risa, and her ghost friends numbered 5 people consisting of the ghosts of Dutch children who were killed by the Japanese Army (??????)

Im very much new to writing on webnovel. I will tey my best to include dialogue but language between characters are not my best suit.

Hey, it's been a while. Well, as the title stated, I'll be fixing the previous chapters before I continue with this fanfic.
Things I'll be fixing.
1st - My MC
After playing Devil May Cry 5 again, I knew I Fu*ked up. Vergil is out of character. That is one of my main reason I'm fixing the previous chapters.
2nd - Dialogue writing styles
I'm fixing the dialogue writing styles.
I know many of you are dissatisfied with my previous way of writing the dialogue. I'm fixing that.
Things I will not fix
1st - Harem members being much stronger than the main character.
I'm not fixing this.
OP magus, OP servant, and OP loli were in his harem. I'm keeping them the same as they were.
2nd - The main character getting Yamato from Devil May Cry.
Yeah, I'm not changing that. He will still get it as compensation from Truck-sama.
I'll uploading fixed version of chapter 1 in 5 minutes.
Thank you!
Your lazy author,
Zimrence

It is about a guy who was reincarnated in nasuverse 4 years before the Fourth Holy Grail War with Yamato from DMC in his hand.

This is the first time I write something. Thank you for having me.

I do not own the cover photo.

And here's the main thing, then re-read everything, edit it and leave the story short as the dough. For 1-2 months. then come back (if at this moment you will remember something about the novel, then try reading it from scratch. You will not like it much and delete it. But the novel will be more interesting and lively, will sparkle with new colors!

The idea is over, but in practice, you need to look!

Do not forget that in the short story the most important thing is how the characters communicate with each other! Therefore, "live dialogues" are needed!

But I have a tense relationship with them!


Dara said, "Well, that's all, nothing happens with this dialogue!"

The reader said, "phew, I don't want to read all the time that Dara said something."

Dara "Damn well, and how then to build a dialogue!"

Reader. "Learn the material part "that is, study other novels, see how the dialogue is built there!"

"Dialogue ... each author has his own way," thought the gift.

The reader "needs action to happen!"

Dara: "What the hell are you talking about!"

Reader: "This is not garbage! This is the basics of writing!"

Dara: "Well, you give bro! How can I write dialogue? Put a dash, a colon, write a tale, that, or just put my name Dara?"

Reader: "Look in yourself, look in a circle, and you will understand how to write"!

Dara: "Well, you and an eccentric! I don't understand how to write a damn ?!"

Reader: "Well, I also don't understand this well, but I don't like how your dialogues are composed, and your English is not so good!"

Dara: "Can I bite your nose off?"

Reader: "This is not civilized! No! I am against"!

Dara: "It's a pity, it's a pity! Well, I still do not understand how to write dialogs!"


And yes, this author's voice-over says, don't write big sentences! Share them! Do not get involved in the dialogue. It should not be big!

Do not forget about the choice, you should always have a choice !!! Darn! Sometimes it's better not to choose anything at all! The Chinese are right in their war strategy! But you need a choice ... you'll go straight, you'll get sides, you'll go to the left, they will deceive you and you won't give anything as always! And if you go to the right, you will have to tell the truth as it is to the big boss that he is fundamentally wrong. And he draws and blacklist and includes and takes a vow of begging, and also assigns a surveillance service.

So the Chinese method is better, do not go anywhere at all. This is also a kind of choice. As the Americans say, this is your choice and you are not the victim of your choice! (the latter they say later when the choice is made).

Reader: The author was a bad joke?

Author: and I can exclude you from the text block!

Reader: I was mistaken, you are such a fine fellow author, you are right, write what you want. But don't rule me out!

And yes, you must remember that there are many short stories, there are visual ones, there is the web, there are easy novels, and there are still classic novels.

Everywhere its subtleties, everywhere its dimensions, its rules, and exceptions to them.

Well, so far somehow!

But the question with the Jiang Magic Coin remains, for now, to finish and rewrite in the new version? or continue?

As with the text form or text block itself, with writing dialogs, how to write dialogue is more or less clear, but how it should look in the text is still a mystery ????? !!!!

Thoughts of why and why stories are written.

All the same English, he has not improved in 18 days.

I'll figure something out, try to correct the text.

---------------------------------------------------------
This is a work of art. Any resemblance to real people or real events is purely coincidental.

Greetings, @HappyChills!
Thanks for requesting for a review.
Note that I only read through a few chapters because of time constraints, but I do hope this is helpful enough in terms of improving your literary skills. Also, I do not critique books professionally  and this is merely a compilation of my opinions as another first-time reader of your work.
Anyways, on to the critique!
GENERAL FEEDBACK:
From the first chapters alone, I can tell you put in the effort to set up the scenes with enough descriptive imagery. Writing a story of this genre does require a fair amount of descriptions in every scene. So, good work on that. Narration-wise, I liked your character development and pacing. But the tense switches every now and then kinda threw me off. Probably not a big deal to most readers, but, yeah. I came across some issues with tense consistency, punctuation, typos, dialogue, and dialogue tags. They're easy to fix, anyway, and I'm sure if you read through your chapters, you can sort them out in no time. 
Synopsis:
The premise was quite interesting, I must say--a futuristic extraterrestrial world where robots, people, and mafia bosses interact on a daily basis. I liked how you tried to hook the readers in with your blurb and the intriguing elements of your plot. But I do think the writing could be improved, just to make it flow better and come off as more polished.
Some edit suggestions:
The year is 2614. ("The" should be in uppercase - proper capitalization, full stop because the succeeding clause is also and independent clause / a full sentence) Cyber-steampunk robots make their living in the city of the moon, ruled by the two bosses which split the city into two turfs—Rose and Violet. 
Some robots take up to their leader(s) *while* some just avoid taking part in the political side of things. (try not to overuse ellipses, better and more cohesive sentence construction)  Though if a robot were to search for happiness and a good time, (comma for a needed pause) there is only one place... 
The little bar located in the right *northern* (typo) sector of town operates to bring happiness to *the* (POV switch) citizens. The bar owners, brothers Zick and Jack, (commas needed)  *strive to serve their customers as best as they can.* (ellipsis and some phrases not necessary)  Well...until they kinda messed up—a little incident with the boss' mafia may just put their business on hold.
Read on as our brothers fight through life's trials with love, action, drama and mystery in their journey through Metasteam and space.  (just some rewording to improve the narrative flow)

Chapter 1:
To be honest, the short introductory chapter didn't quite give me a better insight regarding the storyline yet. But I guess the length is preferable for readers who don't have much attention span ;)
As for the technical stuff, I did notice that there are some opportunities for improvement as I read through the chapter. Some edits I suggest:
Sad. Full of loneliness. (telling vs showing) His purple and orange striped shirt took the attention away from his braces, his head brandishing a wide fedora matching his black bow tie to fancy things up. (better sentence construction, less run-ons in this opening paragraph) His yellow jacket will keep him comfortable in case it gets cold.
runs out of his room, *comma needed* racing down the red wooden stairs as if his life depends on it. *Crying, he slows *tense switch* down as he nears the end of the stairs. He approaches *tense switch* the rusty metal door blocking the way. He opens it slowly to find his younger brother, now crying next to him. *try to vary your punctuation and not overuse ellipses*
"Waaah! I'm so done for! No one loves me! I'm so darn lonely! Why?" *This dialogue/line needs revision to make it seem more realistic and less amateur-ish. Also, don't use more than one punctuation at the end of a sentence/exclamation.   
 e.g.   "No one loves me!  I'm so, darn, lonely! Why?"   instead of  "Why?!!!" ---> This immediately tells readers that this is unedited, amateur writing.
"What? Three. Darn. Thousand prons! I just drank a bit! This is outrageous!"  ---> You should lessen the excessive exclamation points.

The brown and yellow-suited figure *omit the comma* stares at him through *the* sunglasses. *full stop necessary*   The top of their head *whose head? why plural?* is covered using a broken deep brown top hat as he looks *tense switch* like he's already used to this situation.
"Fuck's sake, *comma needed* Jack. Not this again. This is the third girl this week. Are you serious?" Zick scowls through his words. *You could add a descriptive action by the speaker or a dialogue tag to indicate who's talking*  "Also, stop fuckin' drinking! It's no good for ya." 

Chapter 2:
This is the part where you introduce the book's main character. I'm gonna be honest...the POV switch didn't make me want to read on. It might be confusing to some who have read the first chapter and expected that the story would be told entirely in third person POV.  That's just me, though. If you think this is the writing style you prefer for this novel, just ignore this comment :)
Moving on, you incorporate some world-building in this chapter. It seems a bit short for a full chapter, but it actually info-dumped all throughout, in my opinion. Be careful not to overwhelm the reader with a lot of "telling" and less "showing". 

Chapter 3:
Okay. So you're back to writing in third person in this chapter. I kind of enjoyed the opening paragraphs. Reminds me of a certain movie. Anyways,  as I've pointed out earlier, your writing needs to be consistent with verb tense. In this chapter, you initially use past tense and then go back to present tense whereas in the first chapter, you wrote in present tense initially and kind of lost your footing in the later paragraphs.  I noticed the same punctuation issues, so I won't bang on about that. In conclusion, I liked the cliffhanger you included in this chapter :)

All in all, it was quite a fun read. I enjoyed the descriptions and how Jack and Zick interact with each other.  Your chapters just need some polishing off, and I'm sure you'll attract more readers after some editing/proofreading. Good luck! Keep writing! :)))

Your friendly critic,
M

Submit your story to the critique list if you want an honest feedback on your work. 


If you want a constructive critique or just an honest feedback on your book and writing skills, read the rules in the 1st chapter.


Note that my critiques can be pretty thorough (depending on my availability and mood of course), and they are far from overly generic and sugarcoated to the point of being unhelpful. This is not for authors who are merely fishing for compliments. As a content writer by profession, I have ample experience in non-fiction and technical writing, as well as proofreading and content editing.

Hi Guys I'm The Author of *"Project Omegaverse the Novel" * I'm so excited to release the Chapter 1~5
I hope that everyone will like it, especially to those readers that actually love to read manga/webtoon ..it's not an ordinary novel cuz I make it a little easy to read because there are many types of readers that actually easy to get bored when reading novels It's called "Graphic Novel Script / Script Writing'' for those who don't know this, Script writing involves a heavier reliance on spoken dialogue. In novels, characters are revealed through description and internal monologue, whereas screenwriters develop their characters through action and dialogue. So everyone will easily to read who's speaking in their own point of view, Aside from that  I want to make it a webtoon but I don't have much time and I'm still studying to draw because I'm not good enough to draw some characters So I thinks it's hard for me, but I will make it a webtoon soon that's a little short announcement So please everyone support my novel Thank you and stay safe~
Project Omegaverse Release Date : 2 / 1 / 2021
~Wayzone16
This Novel is also Available in
- Tapas
- Mangatoon
- Noveltoon
- Wattpad
- Webnovel
For more business inquiries message me on:
Email: Wayzone16@gmail.com

What if I'm the first Omega. What should I do? 
What if I'm an Alpha. What should I do?
What if I’m a Beta? Is it still the same?



There are many questions inside my head that I can't answer. I don’t know if I'm still the same, Minhyuk’’

Synopsis : 

In the early Generation of omegaverse there are Societies whereas humans are divided into a dominance hierarchy of Dominant "⍶ Alphas","β Betas",  and Submissive "Ω Omegas" but in this generation there are no more Omega only Betas and Alphas

Park Jisung is a Dominant Alpha, He is the son of the Most famous and Richest Doctor In the whole world, He Secretly likes Minhyuk because of their childhood memories.

Kim Minhyuk is the last omega in the new generation after the extinction of all omega, He wants to become a Professional Painter..He is the son of the Most famous Scientist In a University .

After the University Opening Ceremony Party Jisung see that Minhyuk accidentally hit by the car which led to his 1st omega blood manifesting , Jisung father remembers the unfinished experiment with his partner (Minhyuk Mother)  in his lab that can make a Beta people impregnate luckily Minhyuk survived after the experiment use to him slowly he’s turning into Omega, Hints about the "incident" start to appear and able to regain his memory bit by bit. After that Jisung Claimed that Minhyuk is his mate and marked him on. Will their relationship change at the end of it all? Let's find Out!

This is a copy-paste (edited a bit) from a review I got saying the writing style is hard to understand so here goes :
Ok here are a few tricks:
POV (from another character) is always announced by **** (POV) at the beginning. Otherwise, always assume it is from MC point of view.
For example, in chapter 3 we have a paragraph where MC is monologuing. Then there is ****(POV) From there it becomes from the goddess' POV! After she leaves there is a **** meaning back to the usual perspective.
**** is usually used to signify either a location change, a time skip, or a change in POV.
There is not much description in the novel. It is all from the MC's perspective. Aka only showing what he notices. There are lots of random thoughts, get used to it haha.
From time to time there will be dialogue lines marked by either "." or [.].
[....] is used for any dialogue said by a god (or MC).
"..." is used for any dialogue said by a mortal.
MC only ever uses [...] to speak.
Hello, this is your MC having an inner monologue. [And now this is your most beloved MC speaking aloud!]
You can tell from either context or wording who is speaking.
For example, characters refer to MC by various titles, one calls him my lord, the other envoy, the other slave, the other sectmaster, etc. 
In very few instances it will not be possible to know who the dialogue belongs to, but only in the case where it doesn't matter (random chatter from the crowd). 
Try reading again keeping these tips in mind and it should help 😃
Tell me what you think afterward ;)
Hopefully, it won't be as confusing anymore.
There is an order to be found in chaos.
Zombie

Have you ever heard of The Unnamed God Sect? 

It appeared suddenly. 
It grew exponentially by the second.
It accomplished miracles on a daily basis. 
It caused mayhem across the many worlds. 
It even ended up causing the destruction of many. 

Just when the people thought they were done, they turned their sight towards the gods. 
And that is how the age of the gods ended. 

How did this all happen? 

Well, all because of one peculiar mortal. 
One that ended up getting summoned by mistake.
One that didn't even know of his own power. 
One that would create The Unnamed God on a whim. 
And thus cause a chain reaction that would doom the world.

This is his story. In all its glory....and embarrassing moments.

Check FAQ for more info 

****
Schedule: 2 chapters a day. 3 If it becomes popular xD
Chaps Queue atm: (6)
Editor: My readers pointing out mistakes ^_^
My Discord: https://discord.gg/TccuJPD
Cover made by Liya

Hello everyone! If someone is reading this, you are in for a ride since I'm not good at writing (English not being my native language and all), but I can promise you that the story is good enough, or so I hope.
For fast-paced dialogue, there will close to no narration or internal monologue from the main character in between, and that's because I'm trying to imitate in some extent real life. When you are talking fast, you don't have the time to think about every word you say, making you say things you don't mean or make mistakes. That's what I'm going for.
On the other hand, the slow and tense dialogue will have a lot of descriptions and internal monologue.
Now into the story. It's nothing you haven't seen before - a guy gets into a VR game and notices that he can't log out. He still haves the mechanics and interface of the game, but everything is real, you know the stitch.
There are no white and black in this world, only gray. Sometimes the MC is the good guy, other times he's the villain, at least from other people's perspective, but in his eyes, he's always doing what's best for him, and that's his sole purpose. He will help you if you are in danger, but if the benefits are less than the dangers, he will let you die no cap.
Also, he's a guy from the modern world, so he will, and I reiterate, use slang, pop culture references, and internet memes, at least when he's thinking as he tries to adapt to this new world. His morals are also according to modern society, but that doesn't mean that he can't adapt to the new situation.
Now I hope to improve my English and writing skills over time, with the help of practice, and of course, you guys. If anyone reads this hahaha (please read this)

New technology has appeared that lets people transfer their consciousness into a server to enter a Virtual Reality world. One of the first uses of this technology is the creation of New Age Online, a VRMMORPG set in a world of fantasy, where everything is possible.
Huojia had been waiting for the release from the moment it was announced, and the moment the servers opened, he jumped right into it.
When he arrived, everything felt so real; he could move without restriction, jump around, run, etc. Every single one of his senses was available. At first, he thought that everything was possible thanks to the transfer of his consciousness, but he slowly realized by certain clues that this wasn't a game, but real life!

A/N: Dialogue
"Normal text": talking (this also includes writing little notes.)
*Dialogue* : thoughts
"*Dialogue*": sign language
---
In this world, the abnormal is normal; people are known to have powerful abilities called Quirks. Throughout the population, the remaining twenty percent are known as Quirkless or people with no abilities. There are three types of Quirks: Emitter, Mutant, and Transformation.
Mika Lyoko has a Transformation Quirk; her Quirk allows her to transform into any animal she desires, from cute animals to terrifying beasts. Mika could also transform into extinct creatures, creatures that do not exist on Earth, and mythical creatures.
It was always Mika's dream to become a great hero at U.A. High ever since she was little; and here she was, standing in front of the gates of U.A. High School. Mika was ecstatic and nervous at the same time for the entrance exam.
The entrance exam is a test where it shows the students who want to be in U.A. High are worthy for it. There are two parts to the exam, the writing portion and the physical portion. The writing portion tests if people understand the basics, that being English, Math, Science, and History.
The physical portion tests their Quirk's abilities, and how many enemies they can beat. Mika was confident that she will do all right on the writing portion, but the physical portion is what's making her nervous.
Mika wore her school uniform from her Junior High, a black jacket and a dark purple scarf around her neck, a beige shoulder bag on her side, and brown slip-on shoes with black ankle socks.
Mika looked at her card and then back at the building with worry and excitement. Mika took a deep breath and exhaled, *So this is where it all begins for me?* she thought, *If I pass the entrance exam, then I'll be able to become a hero... but if I fail, then I'm nothing.*
Mika shook her head and slapped her cheeks together, *No... I will pass the entrance exam and I will become a hero!* she thought with determination as she started walking through the gates.
As Mika walked on the pathway, it shocked her when she saw a girl with short auburn hair next to a boy with green curly hair floating above the walk path. The girl with short auburn hair placed the boy with green curly hair back on the ground and apologized to him.
It flustered the boy with green curly hair when he was near the girl with short auburn hair. Mika tilted her head, *Judging by his state, this is his first time talking to a girl... sort of.* she thought.
The girl with short auburn hair walked up the stairs for a bit and turned to the boy with green curly hair, "I hope to see you again, bye!" she said as she waved goodbye to him and continued walking up the stairs.
Mika slowly walked towards the flustered boy with worry, I hope that I don't make this worse. she thought. Mika gently tapped the boy's shoulder, "Hey, are you okay?" she asked in a soothing tone.
The boy turned to Mika and backed away, not as nervous as before but still flustered, "O-Oh! Y-Yeah, I'm fine! Sorry if I-I bothered you..." he said.
Mika shook her head, "No worries, you're not bothering me at all." she said with a reassuring smile, "Are you nervous about the entrance exam?"
He relaxed a bit and nodded, "Y-Yeah, a little." he said, "O-Oh!" He held his hand out to Mika, "I-I'm Izuku Midoriya." he continued.
Mika smiled and shook Izuku's hand, "My name is Mika Lyoko." she said, "I hope that we can get along, Midoriya." Izuku nodded, "Y-Yeah, me too." he said with a wry smile.
Mika nodded and rubbed the back of her neck, "This might seem blunt... but when you were floating above the walk path, was that your Quirk?" she asked.
Izuku was shocked, "Oh! No, that wasn't my Quirk." he said. Izuku looked at the ground, "But that would be a very cool Quirk to have." he continued.
Mika nodded, "Must be the girl's Quirk..." she mumbled to herself. Mika looked at Izuku with curiosity, "Then if I may ask, what is your Quirk, Midoriya?" she asked.
Izuku's eyes widened, "M-My Quirk!" he shouted; he got flustered again, "Um... Uh... H-How should I-I explain it?" he said lowly.
Mika panicked at Izuku's reaction and waved her hands, "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fluster you." she said, "I was just curious, but you don't have to tell me about your Quirk if you don't want to."
Izuku stopped panicking and looked at Mika, "R-Really?" he stuttered. Mika nodded, "I-I was wondering why you were floating above the walk path, that's all." she said.
Izuku calmed down and blushed a lot, "Oh... well, the reason was because I was about to fall when walking towards the school, and she was there to catch me with her Quirk." he said. Mika nodded, "Ah I see, I heard it was bad luck to trip while walking towards a school." she said.
Mika looked at Izuku and smiled, "Anyway, I'm glad that girl caught you or something bad would happen to you." she continued. Izuku was surprised and gave Mika a wry smile, "T-Thank you, Lyoko." he said.
Mika walked up the stairs for a bit and turned to Izuku, "Come on Midoriya, we don't want to be late for the entrance exam." she said with excitement. Izuku nodded, "R-Right!" he shouted as he walked up the stairs with Mika, and they entered the building.

Mika Lyoko always wanted to be a hero ever since she was a little girl. She knew that she had to face fierce people who want to be in her spot, but she never expected her life to be insane. From intense training to facing actual villains, will Mika be able to face this insane life of hers with her classmates?

Romantic relationship: Koji Koda x OC

I don’t own MHA, only the OC.

Cover Art belongs to Tonerukun on Tumblr

dialogue writing novel

An Assassins Job

Dialogue Gate Of Danur

The Single Loving Mother

My Adventures in Nasuverse (Rewrite is out)

Thoughts on writing stories

M's Book Reviews

Project Omegaverse (BL)

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys !

New Age Online

The Start of a New Era

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