Getting the number fired him up, but Ben knew to quit when ahead. Beluga advised him after getting a number he should exit. It's always best to leave on a high note. So Ben said a quick goodbye and walked away.
Beluga and Antonio smiled with pleasant surprise. They didn't expect Ben would get a phone number on their 2nd day together. What's more, that girl was hot!
"Way to go, cuz!" Antonio congratulated.
Beluga nodded many times in appreciation.
Ben narrated what happened with them. When they heard he admitted to being an Otaku, their eyebrows elevated to their hairlines. Ben's unorthodox opener and the girl's response were like a nerd's wet dream. It was not typical. You could say Ben lucked out, but the always elusive luck is only caught by those who risk chasing it.
It was approaching sunset in the park so they called it a day, agreeing to meet again the next week. Ben was tired and eager to open a new Mystery Box so he returned to his dorm.
Walking to the subway, Ben's mind couldn't stop thinking about what his Mystery Box could contain…So far he'd only gotten consumables, but there were probably many other types of items he hadn't seen yet. He wondered about it. 'I can imagine some real world items. Could there even be...skills?'
He licked his lips in anticipation.
***
Ben sat on his small double bed as he stared at his system screen. His foot subconsciously tapped the floor in rhythm as he was in the middle of a tough decision. "850 points…The system mentioned it hides some store items until I have enough points. Should I save up to 1000 first?"
"...No, I only have 16 days left. Last time I didn't get any points for a week. Who knows how long it'll take. I need to use any potential advantage now." He settled.
Opening up the Store screen, Ben used 500 points to buy a Low Level Mystery Box. It materialized in his lap and he opened it. Ben knew by now to close his eyes, only opening them after a few seconds when the light receded. He saw a familiar item.
"Another Stat Growth Multiplier?" Ben wasn't sure how to feel. It was useful, but it was hard to say if he could make significant enough gains to change his fate in two weeks. Even if it was for looks again, he suspected he'd at most gain 1 point, since he'd already eaten the easy beginner gains the prior week when he lost his flab. He knew losing fat is much easier than gaining muscle.
He touched the card and a new pop-up emerged.
[Mid Level Stat Growth Multiplier(Consumable, Rare, Charisma) x1]
"Charisma…that's pretty go—" He froze like a deer in the headlights.
"Wait..." He scrutinized the screen's information again word for word.
"Mid Level! Rare!" Ben stood up and gasped.
"Oh my god!" Would it do what he thought? He asked the system and verified it.
"Yes! 100x!" This card would multiply his results by 100x!
Ben did the math. "That means over 7 days, I'll get almost 2 YEARS worth of results?!?"
"BINGOOO!" He danced and did karate moves around the room!
*Slam*
Fariq entered to uncover Ben in the middle of...a Hadouken? His eyes widened...
"That's a nice Hadouken bro!" Fariq appreciated it.
"Thanks man!"His roommate even had great taste! This was Ben's day!
These two roommates had seen little of each other. The prior weeks of university kept them both busy, Fariq with studying and Ben with not dying. Ben wanted to catch up, but it wasn't the time, so he made some small talk and excused himself to get some air.
The eggshell colored walls of the dorm hallway were cluttered with new flyers and informational bulletins, but Ben was too distracted to read them. He was still recovering from the shock of receiving that mid level item.
Rare was the highest quality item he could get from the Low Level Mystery Box, so it was incredible that he lucked out and got it. He didn't know the odds but they couldn't have been too high.
Ben didn't know if the system was helping him or the heavens were on his side, but if he could use the Stat Growth Multiplier well, it might give him a chance to make breakout gains! This is what he needed!
His charisma was 0 so there was massive room for improvement.
Any charisma-related activity he did would generate earth-shattering growth. Only...why couldn't he think of one?
'Now that I think about it...what is charisma?' Ben scratched his head. He paced in the hallway as he considered it, steps advancing in uncertain gait on the brown carpet. He lost track of the outer world as he delved into his ideas, but after some time, he still couldn't grasp it.
It wasn't a simple stat like looks. Just how would you describe it? Sighing, Ben planned to ask his system, but he first wanted to know how society defined it. Snapping out of his previous trance, he walked to the elevator as he pulled out his phone and searched.
One definition he found was: "A personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure (such as a political leader)." (1)
Ben shook his head, "I'm not a politician. Next."
Another definition was: "You say that someone has charisma when they can attract, influence, and inspire people by their personal qualities." (2)
That confused Ben. "Doesn't everyone who influences people use their personal qualities? Personal qualities are inherent--there's no avoiding the use of them...Tch. I still don't get it." He looked for another one.
"That single, undescribable, intangible quality that a girl with big jugs has."
…
Ben looked at the source: author "wetcoaster" on urbandictionary.
'...Well, I can't argue against that, but it still doesn't help me.' He sighed. 'Ok. Let's move on to the system's definition.'
...
Only after speaking with the system, did he understand it. Charisma was a multiplier on all his stats.
It was similar to how attraction started at a baseline, then seduction skills could raise attraction from there. All his other stats were a baseline, and charisma was a soft skill expressed through communication, which magnified the effectiveness of his stats on attracting and influencing others.
Communication could happen through his speech or body language. His appearance alone could even give off a sense of charisma when people looked at him, which multiplied the attraction of his looks. It was an amazing stat!
With Ben's 0 charisma, he received no multiplier at all. Meanwhile, someone with marginal charisma could have all their other stats identical to Ben, but crush him in every social activity!
That's why you have some media personalities with mediocre looks or communication skills who are still very popular.
Even with a definition, Ben's main issue was still there. How could he improve charisma?
*Ding*
He looked up from his phone to see the doors for the elevator open.
*Ding*
The elevator doors closed, but Ben still stood outside, not having entered. A flyer posted on the elevator's side had mesmerized him.
The flyer said, "Motivational Speaking Seminar."
Ben gasped…
"That's it!" he shouted.

"With this system, I'll become the world's greatest seducer! If it doesn't kill me first..." I was a nobody, a short fatty Otaku. Then, a girl's voice popped into my head: [Seduce a woman within a month or die.]
"What the hell...how? I'm an 18-year-old virgin..."
[7+ looks only. No slam donkeys.]
"You’re forcing me to die!” 

Facing annihilation, I saw no choice but to join the international community of pick up artists, and from that day forward, my boring student life became filled with craziness and womanizing. I just had one problem: "Why are all these guys insane?!?"

Pick Up Artist: One who uses specialized tactics to seduce women.

Additional Tags: weak to strong, supernatural, action, fantasy, funny, dungeon, face smacking, bloodlines, modern, harem, r-18, litrpg,magic, cultivation, martial arts, shameless protagonist, parody, satire, succubus, netori, adult, ecchi, sex, hidden gem, drama, wuxia, adventure, mature, school life, seinen, princess, billionaire, werewolves, xuanhuan, erotic, erotica, romance, revenge, polygamy, psychological, r18, 18, 18+, smut, hentai, comedy, light novel, alchemy, system.

*No Netorare or Yuri.

*If you dislike harem, I guarantee this one will be different and become the best harem you've read on WN. There are colorful characters, no bad romance, and no annoying female conflicts driving the plot.

*Every volume so far has been even better than the prior one.

*If you're wary of reading originals, I assure you that I'm a native English speaker and you'll find the writing here to be at a print professional standard. If I said this story had the 2nd best grammar on Webnovel, no author or translator would dare say theirs had the 1st.

*If you doubt any of the above, please read the hundreds of 5-star reviews. Some originals may have more reviews because they're older or get more marketing from Webnovel, but I doubt they have more glowing 5-star reviews.

RELEASE SCHEDULE: 1 new chapter posted every day by 12 pm Est/12 am GMT+8. Bonus chapters don't have a set time, but if there are some pending, on per day is posted for 2 chaps/day total.

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THE BEST ARTICLE ON LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS THAT I'VE EVER READ {AND THAT YOU NEED TO READ TOO}
Well, it's Valentine's Day and what better time to share with you one of the most influential articles I've ever read about love & relationships. Mark Manson, our author, decided to poll his own blog audience for advice in the week leading up to his own wedding. To borrow from Mark, "I sent out the call the week before my wedding: anyone who has been married for 10+ years and is still happy in their relationship, what lessons would you pass down to others if you could? What is working for you and your partner? And if you are divorced, what didn't work previously?" This article was pulled from the overwhelming response Mark received from almost 1,500 people from around the world. The reasons why are not only insightful, but downright relatable to any person in any sort of relationship.
Every single time I've read this article, I learn something new about myself, the way I show love, and those relationships close to me, so I'm incredibly excited to share it with you all in the hopes that you find as much inspiration {and dare I say, motivation?} from it as I do. We all know love is a constant ebb and flow of emotions, and even the strongest, healthiest relationships need help & advice sometimes. I have found ways to relate to Mark's words in numerous ways – from his analogies to his real-life examples from readers, his article is raw and real, and just the reminder we all need sometimes.
I could have easily copy/pasted this entire article simply because there are so many incredible call outs & points being being made {and you might read the below and think that I did!} But, believe it or not, I showed restraint, even when I didn't want too. With that being said, I highly encourage you, if you have the time, to should read this article in it's entirety because it may very well change your relationship, and your life.
Below you will find my favorite points from each of Mark's '13 reasons why' every relationship can be successful.
Every Successful Relationship is Successful For The Same Exact Reasons
Be together for the right reasons….everything that makes a relationship "work" (and by work, I mean that it is happy and sustainable for both people involved) requires a genuine, deep-level admiration for each other. Without that mutual admiration, everything else will unravel.
It's useful to point out that love, itself, is neutral. It is something that can be both healthy or unhealthy, helpful or harmful, depending on why and how you love someone else and are loved by someone else. By itself, love is never enough to sustain a relationship.
SPACE
Have realistic expectations about relationships and romanceThere will be days, or weeks, or maybe even longer, when you aren't all mushy-gushy in-love. You're even going to wake up some morning and think, "Ugh, you're still here…." That's normal! And more importantly, sticking it out is totally worth it, because that, too, will change. In a day, or a week, or maybe even longer, you'll look at that person and a giant wave of love will inundate you, and you'll love them so much you think your heart can't possibly hold it all and is going to burst. Because a love that's alive is also constantly evolving. It expands and contracts and mellows and deepens. It's not going to be the way it used to be, or the way it will be, and it shouldn't be.
True love—that is, deep, abiding love that is impervious to emotional whims or fancy—is a choice. It's a constant commitment to a person regardless of the present circumstances. It's a commitment to a person who you understand isn't going to always make you happy—nor should they!—and a person who will need to rely on you at times, just as you will rely on them.
That form of love is much harder. Primarily because it often doesn't feel very good. It's unglamorous. It's lots of early morning doctor's visits. It's cleaning up bodily fluids you'd rather not be cleaning up. It's dealing with another person's insecurities and fears and ideas, even when you don't want to.
But this form of love is also far more satisfying and meaningful. And, at the end of the day, it brings true happiness, not just another series of highs.
SPACE
The most important factor in a relationship is not communication, but respectAs we scanned through the hundreds of responses we received, my assistant and I began to notice an interesting trend. People who had been through divorces and/or had only been with their partners for 10-15 years almost always talked about communication being the most important part of making things work. Talk frequently. Talk openly. Talk about everything, even if it hurts. And there is some merit to that (which I'll get to later). But we noticed that the thing people with marriages going on 20, 30, or even 40 years talked about most was respect. My sense is that these people, through sheer quantity of experience, have learned that communication, no matter how open, transparent and disciplined, will always break down at some point. Conflicts are ultimately unavoidable, and feelings will always be hurt. And the only thing that can save you and your partner, that can cushion you both to the hard landing of human fallibility, is an unerring respect for one another, the fact that you hold each other in high esteem, believe in one another—often more than you each believe in yourselves—and trust that your partner is doing his/her best with what they've got. Without that bedrock of respect underneath you, you will doubt each other's intentions. You will judge their choices and encroach on their independence. You will feel the need to hide things from one another for fear of criticism. And this is when the cracks in the edifice begin to appear.
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Not far stuff she think the jokes. Going as by do known noise he wrote round leave. Warmly put branch people narrow see. Winding its waiting yet parlors married own feeling. Marry fruit do spite jokes an times. Whether at it unknown warrant herself winding if. Him same none name sake had post love. An busy feel form hand am up help. Parties it brother amongst an fortune of. Twenty behind wicket why age now itself ten.  
Two before narrow not relied how except moment myself. Dejection assurance mrs led certainly. So gate at no only none open. Betrayed at properly it of graceful on. Dinner abroad am depart ye turned hearts as me wished. Therefore allowance too perfectly gentleman supposing man his now. Families goodness all eat out bed steepest servants. Explained the incommode sir improving northward immediate eat. Man denoting received you sex possible you. Shew park own loud son door less yet.  
Behaviour we improving at something to. Evil true high lady roof men had open. To projection considered it precaution an melancholy or. Wound young you thing worse along being ham. Dissimilar of favourable  
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Marguerite is oblivious as she folds Arthmael's body into beautiful silhouettes. Following the familiar choreography, she dances relentlessly.

Grand Jete! Penche! followed by a series of graceful pas de chats. All concatenated in front of the enthralled emperor.

When the music reaches the outro in a full stop, Marguerite falls gracefully on the floor in a pose. She stays there and waits for the king to tell her she can leave.

She stays on the ground for a long time but hears nothing from him. Wondering if she did anything wrong, she wants to lift her head to look at the king's face, but quickly remembers the warning he gave her. If she disrespects him any further, who knows what he might do to her.

She suddenly feels her chin being lifted, her eyes meet the hazels of Demian. She forgets to breathe and falls from her pose onto the floor. She doesn't have time to regain her senses before two strong arms lift her off the floor.

She is about to question him on his weird behaviour when her mouth is suddenly covered by his in a kiss.

-------------------------------------------------
Marguerite is very talented. She has a beautiful voice, a great passion for music and various talents in the arts. Unfortunately, her bright future gets compromised when she is forced to leave her world to fulfill the wish of someone else. Marguerite wanting to go home as soon as possible, accepts. However things turn out quite unexpected for her.

The cover belongs to the rightful owner. If you are the owner of the art and want me to take it down, DM me on discord burlesque_dancer#2837

Border of Xia Empire, Dongshan city

Within a shady warehouse near the seashore, on a circular table, there were seven to eight computer hosts placed, dozens of monitors and a highly advanced civilian server.

In addition to these, there was a black carbine rifle M4A1 equipped with a silencer and a tactical belt loaded with four ammunition clips.

A young man wearing spectacles which has a pale facial expression but sharp eyes; was sitting on a swivel chair and methodically typing on the keyboard.

Next to the keyboard, was a Clock 18 pistol quietly lying on the table. It had a black body with a matte silencer, releasing an air of danger.

This youngster, his name is Shi Lei; nicknamed as Stone, Strange Stone and Stone Brother...

Shi Lei wore a Bluetooth headset as his gaze moved across the four screens far right of him.

The screens show live footage of the situation around the warehouse, the small alley leading to the warehouse as well as the sky view of it were displayed.

In the screen, at the small alley besides the warehouse, there was a high speed motorcycle parked which was prepared beforehand as a means for Shi Lei to escape in case something unexpected happen.

These images were so clear which obviously indicated that the surveillance cameras being used were all high-definition!

"Everything is normal!"

Shi Lei was relieved in his mind as he saw that there was no unwanted accident happening.

"Toot toot~~"

His Bluetooth earplugs emitted a soft sound. Shi Lei then pressed something on his Bluetooth earplugs.

"Number one, preparations complete?"

A voice which had undergone some electronic changes travelled into Shi Lei's ears from the Bluetooth earplugs.

"Number one is ready. Falcon, please instruct!"

Shi Lei's voice, also has undergone electronic changes before getting transmitted through his Bluetooth earplugs.

"Number one, wait for Falcon's command!"

"Number one understand!" Shi Lei finished his sentence but eventually couldn't restrain himself, "Calling for Falcon!"

"Number one, what circumstances do you have?" A hint of dissatisfaction could be heard from Falcon's voice even after undergoing electronic changes.

"Falcon, number one requests for communication!"

"Toot, toot~"

"Number one, communication established. What circumstances do you have to report?" Falcon's tone was very serious.

Shi Lei's face was pale; it looked like he was about to throw up.

"Falcon, after this mission, the organisation promised me that they would help me getting discharged at once right?"

"Shut up!"

Falcon was very furious. "Number one, we are now in a mission. Whatever you want to ask, wait till our mission ends!"

"Di~~~~"

** The communication was cut off and Shi Lei was brought back to the regular communication channel.

Shi Lei clenched both his fists. With rapid breathing and the rhythmic up and down motion of his chest, the anger kept brimming.

"I hope that this organisation can be trusted, or else..."

"The data that I have in my hands should be sufficient enough for the organisation!"

To the east of Dongdan city, Wosang Empire and Lijian Empire were both holding a joint fleet exercise.

These two world military powers were showing off their strong military might to the whole world.

Lijian Empire's aircraft carrier, the ship-based centre of the airplane with unmanned airplanes, Wosang Empire's amphibious landing craft as well as the army support system were put into practice.

Lijian Empire's aircraft carrier, the home of countless unmanned airplanes, first they flew up into the sky and began to advance while scouting the surrounding as well as proceeding to annihilate of target exercise.

A total of ten unmanned airplanes were hovering in the sky without any sound produced.

At the carrier deck, sea jet fighters were getting ready to take off to the sky too and join the exercise together.

Wosang Empire's amphibious landing ship, was approaching an imaginary enemy island. Under the cover of Lijian Empire's jets, they advanced to the shore and began the operation.

These two world military powers, the fighting capability which was displayed really shocked the entire world!

However, another event which was going to shock the world even more was happening at this moment.

"Calling number one, invade the data link of Laji Mihao!"

Shi Lei's both hands, were beating on the keyboards like two dancing butterflies.

"Report to Falcon, data link penetration successful, activating shared connection!"

Laji Mihao, it was really the aircraft carrier of the Lijian Empire!

Shi Lei without doubt is one of the world's top hackers!

He was representing the organisation to invade one of the two world best military powers in an attempt to gain a part of the authority controlling the aircraft carrier of Lijian Empire; searching for some of the information they needed.

"Calling number one, simulate Laji Mihao's normal command communication!"

"Number one, roger!"

Shi Lei began to work on his keyboard intensely. Under normal circumstances, even with the support of a top supercomputer, to achieve such a feat of invading an aircraft carrier from the outside, was almost an impossible task!

But Shi Lei's organisation actually abruptly obtained a remote login access of Lijian Empire's Laji Mihao aircraft carrier.

Because of this, the invasion became less difficult.

"Hehe, the Lijian Empire's aircraft carriers defense is not really as strong as what the legend said!"

When Shi Lei completed the task given by Falcon, he still had some spare time. Thus, he was idling around the operating system of Laji Mihao.

"Calling number one, crack the communication password!"

Receiving the latest command from Falcon, Shi Lei nearly vomited out blood.

Crack the communication password?

Is this some kind of international joke!

An aircraft communication password, the security of it is extremely high. To rely just on his broken computer and a highly advanced civilian server, to crack the password, it`s just an absolute impossible feat!

"Reporting to Falcon, please repeat the command!"

Shi Lei thought that Falcon's command was wrongly conveyed. Perhaps it was a command for another member but Falcon accidentally conveyed that to him.

The organization which he was working with, possess remarkable abilities, extremely powerful!

Otherwise, it would not have the idea to disrupt the joint exercise!

"Number one, crack the password of the communication channel. Repeating the command, crack the communication password of Laji Mihao!"

Shi Lei's forehead was covered in cold sweat. In a few breaths later, did he get himself right back on track.

"If I die, then lets die!"

Shi Lei's fingers, their actions were too fast and blurry, as they were dancing on top of the keyboard at a very fast rate.

In the entire warehouse, there was only the sound of the fan rotating and the typing sound from the keyboard.

"Ding dong ding dong ding dong!!!!"

His bluetooth headset was emitting a warning sound.

In the middle of the monitor screen, a pop up window appeared which stated a warning.

Laji Mihao's security personnel seemed to have detected the attempt of the invasion and now began the backtracking!

If during normal times, Shi Lei would instantly halted his action and destroy all the evidence and traces of his invasion; give up and run for his life.

However, this time, it was the effort of the whole organisation. If he failed this time, the other members would also fail.

The responsibility to the organisation, Shi Lei absolutely could not afford to ignore that!

To such a mysterious organisation, Shi Lei had a deep fear .

If he screwed up this time, he would definitely be 'mysteriously missing.'

"F*ck, I will fight this till the end!"

Shi Lei immediately established a remote connection and entered into an extra server which he prepared beforehand to expand the computing capability. His attack was even more extreme now!

"Calling Falcon for support!"

Falcon's voice was also having a trace of panic.

"Continue to hold on!"

"Number one, hold on for another 30 seconds!"

Shi Lei bitterly smiled. Just now they were condemning Laji Mihao as being garbage and yet now, once the opposition noticed their invasion, they finally knew how formidable their opponent is.

Perhaps the opponent's attacking capability was not as strong as him. But, the opponent's tracking technology is without doubt better than his.

"They have killed one more dummy server!"

"There are three transit servers left!"

Transit servers are advanced botnet.

"At most, I can only hold off for another 15 to 20 seconds!"

Shi Lei talked to oneself, his originally pale face was now even paler. The sweat on his forehead kept accumulating.

"Pa,pa~~"

The sounds of the mechanical keyboards were almost united as one.

"Calling for Falcon, five second until our location will be exposed!"

Falcon did not give any response at all and directly cut off the Bluetooth communication.

"Zi, zi, zi~"

Within the Bluetooth headset, there was a beeping sound.

"Warning! Unknown object detected and approaching at high speed!"

At the roof of the warehouse, the high definition cameras were all locked on a small black particle within the sky.

Shi Lei was staring at the computer screen in front of him. His face was getting uglier with every second.

This monitoring system was a program which Shi Lei installed himself. In the graphical field, Shi Lei had a great amount of understanding.

For example the current high-definition surveillance camera could calculate the speed and distance of the black particle through the changes of the particle size.

Laji Mihao`s aircraft carrier, its security personnel had successfully tracked the location of Shi Lei.

The aircraft carrier was connected to the 'eye' optical satellite in the outer space. Combined with the global positioning system, it will be able to accurately lock on the location of Shi Lei.

"O, this is hell!"

"Jimi, come and look at this this!"

The bureau of electronic security, a few of the personnels were looking at the picture generated from the optical satellite.

Suddenly, the office door was pushed open.

An unmanned aerial vehicle operator with a pale expression, he yelled, " The unmanned aerial vehicle's command had been changed!"

Jimi held his forehead and cried out in loud.

"Oh, shit!"

Within the warehouse, Shi Lei looked at the black particle which kept getting closer. Finally, the true appearance of the black particle appeared in front of him.

The moment Shi Lei saw the image clearly, his body strength disappeared completely as if it had been pulled away from his body.

"Predator!"

"Hellfire!"

"FML!"

Two seconds later, the warehouse experienced a big violent explosion.

Because this predator is a MQ-1 unmanned aerial vehicle, with anti-tank missiles!

Shi Lei had been abandoned by the organisation!

The weapons he prepared could not be used on time. The escape route which he prepared also did not play its role at all.

At the moment of his death, Shi Lei thought about many matters.

He is an orphan. In order to get into the news of his parents' disappearance, was he obsessed with hacking technology. However, it was because of this very technology, that he is now dead.

Shi Lei also thought of his own motherland, the Xia Empire with the Lijian Empire and the Wosang Empire, their relationship had turned worse.

This was all because of the mysterious organisation, the one lurking behind the shadows!

From the beginning to the end, he was simply just a pawn!

It was just a pity that he did not have any chance on revenge.

The moment when all the thoughts disappeared, Shi Lei suddenly remembered a classic phrase.

"I just want to be a good person. Why I am not given such a chance?"

Shi Lei died and could not help the Xia Empire; the diplomacy with the Lijian Empire and the Wosang Empire ended up in dispute. Plus, he could not do anything about the missile bombardment to the Xia Empire city from Lijian Empire.

At the outer space, a space crack appeared and quietly unfolded within the dark space.

A mysterious purple light flew out from within the space crack and fired towards the ever blue Earth.

"Searching.The.City.of.Miracles..."

"Not.found….."

"Saerching.The.Magic.Net..."

"Not.found….."

"Destruct.system.loading..."

"Found.Inheritor..."

This mysterious light seemed to posses an endless amount of unknown information. If there was someone who is proficient in the human language from the world of Clondia, then he would be able to decipher the information above.

Searching City of Miracles…

Not found….

Searching for Mage…

Not found….

Self-destruction system is loading…

Discovering presence of inheritor…

2006, August 31st, Xia Empire, Shuang Qing city, Shuang Qing university.

Shi Lei was wearing extremely nerdy silver spectacles with a cheap looking T-shirt and jeans; dragging a luggage. With a strange expression, he stood in front of the school gate!

The world’s top-level hacker, Shi Lei; due to him hacking the world’s top military powers during a joint exercise and attempting to steal information from them, ultimately leads him to get sold out by his own organization. This act eventually caused his own death by a missile bombardment.

God was playing a joke on him and allowed him to return back to six years ago, the autumn season of when he was still at his university. Being given another chance, plus the fact that he retained his ability as one of the best in hacking technology, Shi Lei decided to change his life! During his previous life, he was only an assassin in the dark. Although such an existence made people afraid of him, he would have to always hide within the shadows. In his new life, not only does he want to be an assassin in the dark, but he also wants to stand openly in the middle of the world stage. Creating a world-class super enterprise, he will single handy change the whole world!

Updates: 2-3 chapter/week

Self-cultivation
- seen as the ultimate purpose of life
- characteristics of a chun-tzu, a man of
virtue or noble character
- "subdued" self – personal needs are
repressed for the good of the many
TAOISM
- living in the way of the Tao or the
universe
- rejects having one definition of what
the Tao is, and one can only state clues of
what it is as they adopt a free-flowing,
relative, unitary, as well as paradoxical view
of almost everything
- rejects the hierarchy and strictness
brought by Confucianism
- prefer a simple lifestyle and its
teachings thus aim to describe how to attain
that in life
TAOISM
- The self is not just an extension of the
family or community; it is part of the
universe, one of the forms and
manifestations of the Tao
- act spontaneously
- not restricted by some legalistic
standards because you are in harmony with
everything
BUDDHISM
- The self is seen as an illussion, born
out of ignorance, of trying to hold and
control things, or human-centered needs
- the self is the source of all these
sufferings
- our quest is to forget about the self,
forget the cravings of the self, break the
attachments you have with the world, and to
renounce the self which is the cause of all
sufferings and in doing so, attain the state
of NIRVANA
WESTERN CULTURE
- DUALITIES – disticnt from the other person,
the creator is separate from the object he created
- Individualistic culture – the focus is the
person
- loose associations or even loyalty to their
groups
- Competition is the name of the game
- straightforward and forceful in their
communication as well as decisionmaking.

THIS IS JUST ME TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE AUDIO FUNCTION OF WEBNOVEL. DON'T MIND THIS. NOT A REAL STORY OR NOVEL.

⚠️Mentions Abuse



By definition, a toxic relationship is a relationship characterized by behaviours on the part of the toxic partner that are emotionally and not frequently physically damaging to their partner.

______________________________________________



Toxic love,
   It's the most dangerous kind,
   No matter how many times we've fought,
   We still find ourselves back in each other's arms.


Toxic love,
  We shouldn't be calling this love,
  Not when we're constantly pulling and pushing against each other,
   What happened to our forever love?


Toxic love,
  You've done it this time,
  You've gone to far,
  I'm not surprised just disappointed to the core.


Toxic love,
  We've been through this cycle,
  Rinse and repeat,
  The kind where you'd hit me and the one where I'd forgive.


Toxic love,
  Why is it that we're not letting each other free?
   Well in my point of view,
   I'm just hoping you'd go back to your old self really.


Toxic love,
  I've forgotten the feeling,
  Of comfort and love,
  Where did we go wrong,
  What happened to us love?
















09/03/2021


























Hello hoomans it's sad to see this actually happen a lot in real life. I just want you to know hitting the person you love and belittling them does not mean you love them at all. Sure couples get jealous and it's normal to fight but if it happens everyday then it's a problem. If you're in a toxic relationship, you may recognize some of these signs in yourself, your partner, or the relationship itself.


-Lack of support.
-Toxic communication.
-Jealousy.
-Controlling behaviours.
-Resentment.
-Dishonesty.
-Patterns of disrespect.
-Negative financial behaviours.




















Love,
C🦋



Trigger warnings will be put before the starting of each chapter, some may contain mentions about self harm and suicide


___________________________________________________________




Pain was all I felt , instead of falling to the darkness I started writting.
Writting has become my light through the dark tunnel I call life.
Join me to find out how I struggle with my depression and live life.
I also post on wattpad do check it out if you want: 
https://my.w.tt/yUdK9Dtewab

The vibration of the amulet was the sign that a person was initiating the contact from the other amulet. Normally, I wouldn't think twice before answering the call and connecting via some reflecting surface, but now I am doubting.
I left amulet without any explanation whatsoever. Even an experienced wizard will spend at least a week on deciphering enchantment on it and understanding its usage.
So the fact, that she learned it so soon, even with the help of some adult wizards is simply unrealistic. 
To take or not to take the call is a very hard question. 
Block of the load function, my intuition rings danger and she suspiciously calls me soon after the block. Too many coincidences, if you ask me. But to ignore a call is also a bad idea. I don't want to really lose a connection with Hermione. She is a smart wizard and a loyal friend. Yes, stupid and annoying, but loyal nonetheless. Plus, I want to keep in touch with the plot actors. 
While I was thinking, the amulet stopped echoing. 
I needed the solution and I needed it quick. 
After ten minutes of pondering, I finally thought of an idea.
*A bit earlier in the Burrow*
"I know we agreed to use this world's plot against progeny, but I think rushing is not an answer. He will certainly feel that something is wrong. Or at the very least Athena won't let him enter such an obvious trap."
"That's why there is no point to trap him." Dark laughed.
"Hm?" 
"I honestly don't give a crap if that cursed progeny escaped. He is bound in the world with a God who has access to the ultimate weapon of death. As long as I reach him, he is dead. He can't be escaping forever, while we have plot armor and centuries ahead." 
"I still don't get it. If you know that he will escape, then why would you give away our presence to an enemy? We can catch him ..."
"Unaware?" Dark finished for Markus, then he cheerfully continued, "Impossible. The moment Universe was blocked, progeny knew that something was wrong. What we need to do is to affect his mentality. If a person he trusts betrays him and sells him to us, he will suffer. Mental war is what we need to use. Physically catching him will be hard now. One thing I am sure of is that Athena is not fully in control, which means that we can pressure the boy mentally to the brink of insanity. And the betrayal will be the first step. Then you will start the hunt. Put on the target on his head. Publish his face and information. Make the world believe he is a demon king if need be." 
"Well, he might not care about such things like these. Some people prefer solitude."
"Ahahaha, bullshit. That's the mistake of you humans. You think you can just turn off the need for communication. Think you can control emotions. Laughable. No matter how uncaring a human is, he will break under constant pressure and absence of communication. This is a fact. You, humans, are fragile. The need for communication is a physical necessity born in the process of evolution when nature understood that lone monkey is a dead monkey. After a year he will be losing himself. After five, he will become deranged. After more, his brain will be losing it. As for Athena, she has no powerful enough energy source to keep in touch with her progeny on a regular basis."
"I know people who meditate for decades alone, without any need for communication. I don't think you are right. Plus it is a big world and there is the Internet."
"Show me a person who had no conversation for more than 3 years and I assure you, that the person will be a madman. As for the problem of the big world, making somebody famous in such a world is even easier. After all, what we are looking for is not find him, but to break him."
"Can't you just honestly say that all you want is just to torture the boy as much as possible and in any way possible, just to make your vengeance sweeter?"
"I never said, I am not personally interested in these actions. But let's not play hypocrites here. You are here for the sole reason of getting your revenge, just like me. No need for bullshit righteousness. Okay?"
"I want revenge. Yes. But I am not going to do something so... immoral. I am doing this to save our Universe, from a future, where she comes back. As for you... You truly are an unfilling and crazy being."
"That's a definition of a God, Markus," Dark smirked.
"Maybe that's so for your world, but in mine, Caesar was a god. And he was neither unfilling or crazy."
"Maybe. Maybe not." Dark only weakly smiled, "So? Let's begin."
Markus only sighed, before answering:
"Let's."
After that, both men erased memories of them coming to the house. Then they both exited the house, only to return a few minutes later. But this time, both of them had nice looking suits with coats over and hat on top. The very definition of a gentleman of that century stood outside of the Burrow, getting ready to knock on the door. 
*Knock* *Knock*
"Who might it be?"
"Sweetie, can you open the door for me please."
"Okay, mom" then a young girl's voice came from behind the door, "Coming! Wait a second."
Soon door was opened and young Ginny Weasley saw 2 middle-aged men, both with cases in their hands. 
Two of them tipped their hats down in greetings and then the one with sunglasses asked in a mild but deep voice: 
"Can we by any chance, find a person, named Magnus in your house?"
The girl looked at them and then turn her head back to scream:
"MOM?!"
"What, Sweetie?"
A middle-aged woman came in. She then looked at her guests and was surprised. 
"And who might you be?"
"Hello, Miss..."
"Weasley. Molly Weasley. And it's missis. And you?"
"Hello, Missis Weasley. My name is... Derek and this is my colleague Markus. We are part of the magical government, similar in job to what you call in England, Aurors. We looking for dark arts users and criminals with a dark past in magic use. We are here looking for a boy, you might know as Magnus. Can we talk?"
This really surprised Molly, but soon she recollected her thoughts and said:
"Uhm, well come in. Let me lead you to the living room. We can talk there."
*A few minutes later*
"He left, well that's a shame. We've been looking for him and now that he was so close, we missed him."
The man called Derek said, and that's when Harry mentioned the amulet, that most people already forgot about.
"Hermione, didn't Magnus left some amulet for you to talk with him?"
"He did? That's great! Can we contact him?"
Markus happily asked, while little Granger accusingly looked at the Potter. 
"You want to talk to him?"
"Yes, Miss Granger. We need to talk to him, so if you can contact him, this will help us a lot."
"But... what do you want to talk to him about?" She inquired.
Derek looked at her for a long time, before he answered:
"We want to convince him to come back. He is a suspect in multiple crimes. However, I can't divulge the information on these crimes, but believe me when I say that, they are not light acts of lawbreaking."
Everyone in the house was stunned, while Hermione agitated, said:
"But he is not a bad person and we lived together for the past 3 years. He couldn't have committed any crimes."
"3 years?"
"Yes!"
"And what about before?"
"Before? What do you mean?"
"Do you know anything about his past? His parents? His home country?"
Now everyone started to have some doubts, but Granger continued, albeit weaker:
"He-e-e is an orphan! An-and he is from Asia and ..."
Markus who was standing in the corner, interrupted:
"Basically you know nothing, young lady."
"I..."
"Don't you find this suspicious at all? A young boy from a faraway country, suddenly appears so far in Europe and becomes a student of Hogwarts? No past, no parents, no background and yet he somehow was able to get here alone without any help."
"I... don't know..."
"Please, miss Granger, cooperate with us. You are helping him. If he is not coming back on his own, then he will become a true criminal and will be hunted down like one."
"Even if I wanted to help you, I don't know how to use the amulet, so I am sorry, but I can't help you."
"Can we have a look at it? We are from the same country. We might know how it works."
"Okay?"
*An hour later*
He didn't answer the call. 
"As expected. He ignored it." Harry commented.
Even though Hermione was confused, she still considered Magnus to be her closest friend, so she was quite angered by his words.
"What do you know!"
An argument broke out. Hermione blamed Harry, while he started accusing her in defending a possible criminal. Some may say that this was uncharacteristic of  Harry, but Magnus touched his weak spot. Sirius Black. His one and only relative. Moreover, how could have Potter known that Magnus saved Sirius from the life of constant hiding.
In his mind, Magnus was a "monster" since that eventful night when he crippled Pettigrew, who was unarmed and ready to surrender. 
As for Ron, he was the best friend of Harry, so it would be strange if he stood up against him. So, 2 boys argued with one girl.
Strangely, adults didn't interfere with this argument and only quietly discussed something with 2 ... Aurors? This was a most questionable part, but thanks to Markus's technologies and Dark's divine powers they fooled them both. Now everyone was sure that Derek and Markus were inspectors from the American Wizarding Government.
However, everyone was interrupted by a sudden vibration of the amulet, lying on the table. 
Hermione, forgetting all about the argument, rushed to pick up the amulet. Then she ran to a long mirror prepared beforehand and touched its surface with the amulet. Then she fixed her hand to hold the amulet in constant contact with the mirror. 
Soon, in place of her reflection, a young boy appeared, but something was terribly wrong there. The boy was Magnus, yes! Yet, he was full of bleeding wounds all over his body, his clothes were ragged and dirty, his hair was messy and his breathing was rapid. 
"Hermione!"
He looked tired and concerned, looking often to his left and right.
"Magnus? What happened to you?"
"My past caught up to me. Those bastards want me dead. They even sent some people to kill me. Although, I still have no idea how they tracked me down. I didn't leave any traces. I didn't use magic or magic artifacts, except for the amulet of contact I have on me. But you hold it so it is impossible for them to track me. Moreover, they attacked me while I was having a shower, so I had to run with whatever I could grab on me. Thank god I still have the amulet and a wand."
Inspectors exchanged glances, and Markus showed some sign to Derek, who then quietly left the scene, without anyone noticing. In the meantime, Magnus in the mirror, looked left and right as if afraid of something coming. Some loud crashing sounds were heard in the background, so Magnus continued:
"Anyway, I need your help ASAP! Honestly, I didn't expect to be the first to use this artifact and to even use it so soon, but now is not the time to ask questions. These people are true monsters. Report this to the Ministry of Magic and request some help for me. I am in ..."
"Magnus? Magnus?!"
Suddenly, reflection became blurry, while sound grew static, but after a few seconds, everything stabilized.
"One of the retranslators for the signal has been destroyed? Strange, this should be... impossible. They..."
Magnus slowly paused and looked at her. Then as if realization hit him, he paled. 
"Hermione!? You ...?"
His whole face was a depiction of how betrayed he felt.
"You helped them? You helped these cold-blooded murderers track me down? Why?! I... thought you were my friend?!" 
Magnus with tears streaming down his face was the last thing the mirror has ever shown, because after that it became dull and dark, never to reflect again.  
Everyone looked back at the inspectors, finally noticing the absence of the second one, they took out their wands and pointed them at the inspector, named Markus, who only had one thought in his mind:
'Huh? Shouldn't he be the bad guy in this play? How the heck did I become a villain?!'
*No progress*

Seems like the time has come for another party to begin. Let's hope this one will be a success. World - Potterian. Person - random.
***
Met truck-kun. Obviously died. Nobody survives after fateful meeting with him.
Afterwards, I was reborn in the different world with the system from my favorite game! However, there was a catch - I had negligible amount of knowledge about this universe. 
***
I open my eyes and see [You were caught during unauthorized entrance into a magic academy!] 
"Oh cmon... System, do you really need do this every time? Now... what will I do?" 
[Pick a race]
"..."

Hey, I'm your typical teenage girl going through hormonal stress and yada yada, I'm sure you're already familiar with all that. 
We all go through puberty now don't we?
Really freaky thing huh?
And you know something that's even more freaky? That we don't openly talk about puberty.
Now what's puberty according to Google?
"Puberty is the process of physical changes through which a child's body matures into an adult body capable of sexual reproduction. It is initiated by hormonal signals from the brain to the gonads: the ovaries in a girl, the testes in a boy."
Let's be honest, you skipped that didn't you? 
Moving on
Puberty in simple words is 
Girl = Bleeding every month A.k.a Periods
Boy = Voice cracking, erections all-day everyday
Or Let me put it in this manner,that most of us Teenage kids understand it as,  Feeling Aroused or for all you very obedient Christian kids out there, who never rebel their mama, it is a tingly feeling in your reproductive organs that you may get from several things.
Now some of our older generations, be it our society, family, friends etc,
They have been extremely paranoid about things relating to puberty, sex, anything which we know they call it as 
"Adult stuff" or "You're too young for this".
If your parents were anything like mine , you would have remembered that at theatres, if any kissing scene popped up on the screen, within a second their palms would be covering your eyes , spouting out the words,
"SHUT YOUR EYES".
Now I, as a child, used to get so panic-stricken as to what's happening, that I would immediately shut my eyes and keep asking
"Is it over?" and "Can I open my eyes".
And well, if you never went through this 
'unfortunate time' , my exact words would be
"Damn are you lucky".
Maybe some of your parents were open , never gave it a second thought, perhaps kissed infront of you (which apparently my parents never did, or even any of my friends parents)
and that actually is a very good thing , because now if any sexual scene appears on the TV while I'm watching a movie with my family, It gets so awkward that Either I just get up in excuse to use the washroom , start tapping on my phone or act as if it never happened in the first place.
Now I am an Asian, and not just any asian, I am from India,where public affection, even for married couples, is basically considered NASTY.
And Boy, if you ever kissed in public , people would be like
"JESUS WHY DIDN'T I DIE BEFORE SEEING THIS"
And I'm not exaggerating at all , this is nothing compared to how some couples are beaten horribly by their families, sometimes society and even the cops.
Now I know many of you reading would be feeling rather uncomfortable or weird because even as the modern generation, we still lack communication skills when the topic is sex or puberty.
And this is completely understandable because even I have gone through that so many times .
As an insecure teenage girl, I thought speaking to guys about sexual feelings would be more weird and awkward rather than speaking about it to girls. 
But Apparently I was wrong. 
When I told my best friend that I have commitment issues and I would rather hook up with people than being in a relationship, Do you know what her reaction was?
" Ew dude, what's wrong with you? Are you serious? Don't act like a slut ".
And honestly, I was completely baffled by her reaction and was genuinely hurt because seemingly, I thought slut was a ghastly word. 
But when I gave it a second thought, I understood that Words do not matter.
They are just what they are , Words.
It's how we take them in, we let our feelings shape these words into thinking that it could possibly mean something abusive.
And I thought, how does it matter?
And Why does it matter?
It's because our upbringing was in such paranoid and religious house holds that we believed that hooking up and one night stands would send us straight to Hell. Because Lust is not a feeling, but a Curse.   Which turned out that they believed talking about sexual feelings, talking about periods/erections, are a bad influence to children.
And I have seen it happen with hundreds and thousands of people.
Trying to be the definition of normal according to society, we bottle everything up, even the things that occur to every single one of us, to every human being.
But that's what I'm trying to convey , maybe our definition of normal is different.
So If you continue reading just know that This is not weird. Sex isn't a loathsome topic to talk about. It's not weird when you find out girls or guys masturbate, it's not weird when you find out your little siblings are the result of your parents having sex with you in the next room , it's not weird to try on a condom in your room alone, it's not weird to have sexual feelings about the same gender.
And it's not weird when we talk about Sex and Puberty with Everyone, be it your family, friends or crush or someone you had a hair pulling fight over who's hotter,
Shakira or Beyoncé.
(And for the record, I choose both.)

If You're Here For Some Good Ol' Sex Things
You definitely came to the right place Yay
But Hold Up
This is not Hentai or anything just a bunch sex education 
Hey wait don't leave! I'm not finished yet
Not just sex education boys and girls
This novel is gonna contain all the tips, hormone related bits and bobs , some sex related short Stories 
Just something to help you understand your teenage self 
So hey
Buckle Up And Don't feel weird about it this is just the plain vanilla talks we have with our friends, just a bit more detailed and maybe more fun and humorous.
Coming to think of it ,
we all need a push don't we?



I'll advise you to read this very well, in other for you to understand the book better. 

Saxson City: Also known as the capital of Iykos Country. Seth and Lieon are the Alphas of Saxson City which makes them the Alphas of Iykos Country. 

Iykos Country: The word 'Iykos' means 'wolf'. Iykos Country is a country whose original citizens are werewolves. The federal capital territory is Saxon City. Seth and Lieon are the Alpha Kings of Iykos Country. So I'm going to use my country, Nigeria as an example, in order for me to explain the ins and outs of Iykos Country. Nigeria has 36 states and capital with one federal government territory, which is called Abuja. In those 36 states we have one governor and three senators. We have 300 tribes in Nigeria ( which is one of the many problems of Nigeria). Just like Nigeria, Iykos Country has 36 states and one federal government territory, which is called Saxsan. Also, just like Nigeria has 36 governors, Iykos Country has 36 Sub-Alphas. But unlike Nigeria, with 3 senators for each state, Iykos Country has 2 senators which are called Betas and Gamas. Each state is a Sub-Park of Iykos Country. When all these sub-parks are put together they form 1 park, which is called Iykos Country. But Unlike Nigeria that has 300 tribes, Wolf Country only has 1 tribe and 2 major languages Wolfgre and Zaton. Minus the general language of communication, which is english. 

Wolfgre: It is the official and original werewolf language. 

 Zaton: It is a blend or the mixture of Wolfgre, English and Greek. The same way Nigeria has pigeon English or broken English, is the same way that Iykos Country has Zaton. To Iykos Country, Zaton is the pigeon Wolfgre or broken Wolfgre. 

Seth: One of the Alpha Kings of the two Alpha Kings of Iykos Country. 

 Lieon: One of the Alpha Kings of Iykos Country. 

 Human male pregnancy: Biologically, human males can not get pregnant when having sexual intercourse with a fellow male. But when having sexual intercourse with a supernatural and the male human is on the receiving end. Then the human male would definitely get pregnant. Male humans do not consist of wombs. So in other to carry the child, a temporary womb is created. This temporary womb is like a bag or it is a bag. It's inside this bag known as the temporary womb, where the child or children would develop on till the child or children is ready to come out or the dew date of delivery. When it's time for the child or children to be born, since human males naturally have no means for the child or children to be born. 

A C-Section is done, in other to remove the child or children. When this C-Section is being done, since the child is inside the temporary womb, the bag would be removed with the child in it then the bag would be broken in other to remove the child from the bag. The bag can't be left inside the male human, if not, the bag would rotten, which would kill the human male. 

 Supernatural submissive male pregnancy: This is just like every female pregnancy. Supernatural submissive males, which are commonly Omegas and some few Sub Betas. 

They naturally have reproductive systems that allows them to carry children and also to give birth to them, naturally. The only difference between supernatural submissive male pregnancy and female pregnancy in general, is that for females they give birth through the vagina while supernatural submissive males give birth through the ass hole. 

Mates: Okay. So we all know the cliche definition of mates. Know my definition of mates is almost the same with that. But first let's talk about how supernaturals find their mates. 

•Identification: In order for a supernatural to identify their mate they have to have The Dream. 

The Dream is when a supernatural have a dream about their mate. Supernaturals naturally cannot dream, Until they have The Dream. After The Dream, then they would slowly but surely start to dream about other things. There is no specific age for one to identify their mate, but one thing was for sure. When a substantial enters puberty or starts to show signs of puberty, he or she has the possibility of sensing their mate or having The Dream. Although it's not everyone that identifies their mate ones they reach this stage. It might take years before they finally have The Dream, even after they have reached puberty. But puberty is a starting stage. 

Rejection: Rejecting ones mate is not allowed. If a person rejects their mate, he or she would die seven days later, along with their rejected mate. But the person who did the rejection, would spend the seven days before their death in nothing but agony. While the person that was rejected would start to fade away in the most painless way possible. He or she would lose weight and their strength, till it becomes impossible for them to move. Then they'll die. 

 Love: There is no such thing as love at first sight with supernatural mates. The supernaturals are sexually attracted to their mate or mates and they can't live without their mate, by their said.

They say love is for everyone, that no matter how you are or who you are, love comes to us all. 

But-
Just maybe- 
Maybe it's not true.

I hope I'm wrong. I really do. 

But I'm a slave


Love is dangerous, the most deadly weapon ever known to man. It has turned great kingdoms to dust, brought down great kings, heroes, great men, to their knees. But it's so beautiful, how can something so beautiful be so dangerous?



If you could make me fall in love with you, then I'll be a fool in love. But would you love me back, would you value me?



I'm just a slave.

I take a break now to write about something that happened yesterday. it was so painful to me personally and still is. I was wrongly and maliciously accused by a family member on my husbands side. The accusations were so wicked that I felt sick to my stomach. You know that feeling you get when you have stayed around someone for a very long time and you think that some form of bond has grown between you two and that a kind of understanding exists between the both of you and suddenly you get to know that this person  deep down really despises you and has negative feelings about you and has  totally  misconstrued you for a very long time. Yes,that was the bone crushing feeling I experienced at the shock of the totally baseless accusations.


I have sat and thought deeply about what to do. What further broke my heart was that my own husband wanted an explanation from me if what I was accused of, I did. As I looked at him in disbelief,I am again painfully aware that ones own best friend is really oneself, who would have thought that my husband of nineteen years would even remotely consider that I actually behaved as I was so wickedly accused of. 


Since  yesterday and up till now,I have been struggling with feelings of intense anger,bitterness,shock and a great desire to punch the living daylight out of anyone. To be fait to the other party and to exhibit a level of maturity which I do not really care for now because I am still seriously hurting,I have self examined myself and x rayed over and over the  circumstances surrounding these accusations and I can only come up with one thing, these accusations are born out of secret envy and my definition of envy in this situation is; a need to hurt hurt someone to feel better over the lack in ones life, and in this case,the person that was targeted  to be  hurt was me.


 I want to let go and get really wild and retaliate back with hurtful words but this spirit of mine that pulls me back from acting out of hand restrains me. I know that an intervention from a third party who I might want to get involved in this matter would not help me because this time around,the hurt is too deep and suddenly I don't want to be a so called peacemaker and be the one to accept anything for peace to reign. The only peace that can reign now is for me to come out of this maze of hurts I find myself thrown into and take some hard decisions and stand by them.

 I am suddenly reminded of a preacher that once said,let go of those whom God is  trying to cut out of your life,let them go. If someone's definition  of their happiness is a circle  where you are not included, let them be,you don't need the whole world to be  your friend,you just need one or two that believe in you and what you stand for.

So out of my deep meditation,I have come up with what I term 'five  steps to regaining me';

1)forgive the ones that have hurt me so I can have some form of peace to think properly

2)forgive myself for actually creating the situation I currently find myself in. How?, by not standing up for myself in the past where I should have stood boldly to define boundaries and make these persons know they can't treat me the way they do, because I had no courage then  and I had temporarily lost my sense of purpose.

3)define the kind of relationship I will now keep with these persons and not invest anymore in its toxicity, but maintain a line of communication that is necessary because of the family connection,but which will never give room again for them to disrespect me.

4) pray harder and longer,because this  event has  resurrected so any hurts from the past and many issues I thought I had successfully dealt with,but now I realise I was just doing the same thing over and over  using different forms which is, 'losing my identity in trying to please others and be a nice person'.  I need  to pray hard because for me, prayer in the presence of God  has come to be medicine for my spirit and healing for my bones

5) just keep on showing love so I don't let their accusing words derail me from the path I have chosen to take which is to owe no man nothing but Gods love,and I define love for me  not to be feelings,because I assure you that my feelings have been going up and down since yesterday, but love is my decision to  be happy and to live my best life always,to show kindness and compassion to all as best as I can,  irrespective of what someone thinks or says or feels about me.

 Its a harsh world we live in and there are mean people all around,but I think I am done with allowing negative people into my space,into my atmosphere, even if they are family,I prefer to love from afar now,to love safely because some people will never change  and life is too short to waste it on toxic people and toxic relationships.

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