Review Detail of Alexander_Wilde in Spiderman Evolution

The writing was all over the place, although the perspective is stable it was like reading the mind of a patient with mental problems. The development of the story was rushed and the design of the characters... well, it was decent but the exposition and pacing is just too bland and boring. The world background is lacking, I mean you mixed two worlds together, Marvel and DC. Marvels world building is strongly tied to realty while DC goes the extra mile with their fictional cities. Mixing the two realities would make it confusing to many, especially how the cities are situated and how the cultures and events would affect the whole of the country and the world. Next, the biggest problem for me would be the characters, especially the main character. I felt like I was reading a story about an angsty teen being reincarnated to this messed up world. But no, the MC is a military man who was even part of the NAVY SEAL's and yet we have this MC act like an angsty teen. I could see the effort to try and make it so that the MC lost his maturity due to regression but the problem is that there is no conflict in his personality, especially since he recalls his training and experience in the military. Let me get this clear, maturity does not equal discipline, especially the discipline trained as a soldier. I could forgive it if he was a regular soldier but you made the MC have experience and training in the special forces. If you want him to have the angsty mindset then don't let him recall his past as a special forces soldier. Certain professions and certain experiences mold an individual and for so long as he recalls said experience the learnings he got from it would remain. Regression is done by many authors through making characters have physiological responses to stimuli but still have control over their emotions. Your MC lacks control on both sides, meaning that either he has a mental health problem or is just a psycho. I could see though that this fanfic is more of a wish fulfilment fic like all your other fics but creating an overpowered character, whose background does not match with his personality just creates a weird disconnect that really takes away the immersion. Especially since you write in a 1st person perspective. Try writing in a third person perspective and this kind of character would be forgivable since readers could focus on other better characters instead. Finally, I know you want to rush to the juicier parts of the story but I recommend you forget about future events when writing a chapter. Try to find a goal for the chapter and write from there. Avoid thinking about chapter 100 when your still in chapter 1 it makes you write in a rushed manner skipping vital information that would increase immersion in the text. A lot of your chapters, earlier chapters are confusing to say the least. This kind of storytelling would make people drop the novel before reaching the better parts further on. Especially since you maintain your style of writing even when the "good" parts are reached. Overall I hope my review helps you improve your writing. I could see potential in your ideas but execution is where you ultimately failed. P.S. the reading status does not match since I just created this account to write this review. I was reading without an account for a good while and I just had to write this review. Don't let bad comment cursing you bring you down, you have potential and all you need is to look back at where you could improve and perfect them in your next works. Use the mistakes you made in the earlier chapters and