Jon_0094

you piece you did such a good job on the story I actually got annoyed for a sec when I realized this is the last chapter you have out right now

or change the previous sentence to "are you hungry" instead of "have you eaten"

if you changed the yes to no it would fit better if the sentence before.

I think you did a good job introducing people and even if this was their only chapter it helps define the Mc's character

honestly same like we all want to help others or at least not harm but at the end of the day we want to live

fork he has the book I bet