WaddoBreado
Wad
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Hello and thanks for the review~ So I think there's a discrepancy between what I wanted to say and what the readers might understood. So if the explanation below ends up making it a wee bit more logical, I think I somewhat failed to deliver the message clearly. I wanted to create a sense of dread that never vanishes throughout the story, and I want it made clear since the beginning. Maybe Goku once he hits Z or Super no longer feels threatened by his old low-level enemies. They're literally underneath his radar. What I wanted for for Magebane was, even if he reached his peak, he's still a human that bleeds. A rusty kitchen knife, if it finds its way to his neck would kill him. I want a protagonist that's powerful but not invincible. As for the bandits, I thought I made it that Magebane was terribly unlucky in the fight. He was freshly wounded/burnt, starving and exhausted from escaping the inquisitors, ambushed and got an arrow in his shoulder blade, reopened his wounds, and was ultimately hurt more by the treacherous environment than the bandits' skill. For the magic, I didn't intend to write a System story. So I was thinking of keeping it to Soft Magic rather than Hard. Cheers~
one of the many things influencing this story :p
Yes its not common for firearms to pop up in this genre. Glad you find it interesting rather than weird. I feel like in history the early firearm warfare is often eclipsed by the Medieval era warfare and the Napoleonic warfare era. There's actually so many interesting developments going on there that people just don't know. I'm excited to bring that into my worldbuilding. That, and because my worldbuilding is heavily inspired by Warhammer Fantasy. And they had guns. So much guns. Also, good attention to detail there with the arquebus still being experimental. Glad my worldbuilding worked in the dialogue XD
I actually have that worry nagging me as well, believe it or not. I don't want no build up, but I can go too far and drag on too long. I wonder if people will think that here... In any case, that will be fixed soon. Very soon! You'll really like the next chapters incoming chapters, and I'm working hard to publish everyday! ;>
Darth Plagueis level of wise of course
Can't have a grimdark story without infighting among humans :D
gotta have those light moments. It won't feel dark when its always dark :>
not as strong as the power of love
Raymond calling out Trosk's drip when he's almost naked smh
Really fast-feeling first chapter. Pretty straightforward premise and without some heavy worldbuilding bogging it down. The writing feels like Raymond; just going straight towards the action. Nice prose too that really captures the world the character's in. Can't wait to see how you'll write the action, since I'm sure that's the bread and butter of this whole story.