The_Jeffinator
I read probably way too much but my standards are also exacting so if I complained about your book, I stand by my opinion because I also probably gave you a break down on why I didn't like it.
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I hope he tests this on jet. that would be funny.
protagonist probably didn't have to so much as collect it all himself. a hidden ancestor probably crawled out of the woods and left these trifles for the prince of his auspicious clan.
or the age of the dead child is accounted for
obito has the short range eye, Kakashi has the long range eye.
Here's the problem, I really don't get why she trusts counsel so much. Dude is a walking red flag and honestly, at this point I'm almost sure he's working for the tyrant. Man has completely disregarded the woman he claims to love far too many times, started a rebellion with her as a figurehead, and has a really suspicious relationship with pen. Not to mention the ominous warning about being used as a figurehead!, from a guy who was sure Counsel would have turned him in to the queen to be executed despite counsel himself having far less of an excuse for surviving that expedition. maybe I'm reading too much into this but I think noble(by extension brenna) might have Stockholm syndrome.
Many roots are staples in almost every culture of refined cuisine. I'm sure it'll work out.
Dropping pure gold on us in this chapter! Perfect timing for an awesome twist.
For some reason, I thought she already guessed she was a saint. After all, there Were fallen among the tyrants forces, and tyrants can't control nightmare creatures the same rank or class as them(or at least I thought so). Therefore shouldn't it have been a corrupted and the queen in comparison a saint?
I did this as a kid. Kinda fun/ ticklish with milk or water, but pray to whatever lord you have to save you if you try anything carbonated, because that experience was like a thousand ants crawling and chewing their way through your nostrils. You can't do it without choking half to death, stabbing yourself with the straw, and crying. Even if you can hold down the tears, your eyes would water until you had to wipe them..
Aren't hallows supposed be rare because their bodies do not always die when they die in the dream realm but most of the time they do? Am I just confused?
Not really but, I'm getting kinda upset that rain's parents are such pushovers when it comes to her yet know intimately how horrible the world is. It has come to my dawning attention that both parents have high level access to sources of information that should make them train their kids and take that training super seriously. Yet they are very avant-garde about rain having a tutor they have no reason to believe is any more talented than noble herself is. There's protecting one's child, and then there's failing to prepare their child. Of course, we have the honor of knowing she's in good hands, and this is in no way a critique of the work so far, the work has been phenomenal, however, her parents' attitude gives me secondhand worry for rain from an entirely different perspective. Just my feelings after seeing her dealing with something so serious here she goes to all lengths she reasonably can to avoid exposing herself, yet I don't see any sign of taking her daughters education in these matters seriously.
Second line, 13th paragraph from the bottom says something along the lines of "Only when she needs to pick something up and touch the floor to retrieve what was lost does she allow a moment of pain" or something like that.
only on rare occasions where she needed to pick something up off the floor...
Here it is.
wasn't there just something about having to touch the floor to retrieve fallen objects?
this cliffhanger is badly placed. you gave us too much information and very little uncertainty.
And here we have the ignoramus. Karen doesn't have a kekkei genkai huh? What the hell is that super special Chakra that heals people when they chew on her then? Oh, I guess you think Super Special abilities don't qualify as kekkei genkai? Abilities like dojutsus, and Chakra absorbers? Tell me, what is her super special healing Chakra that was the whole reason her mother died and she was fated to die playing doctor/ human sacrifice if not a kekkei genkai? Oh, and do me a favor while you're at it, tell me, since turn around is fair play and all, how did me belittling you make you feel? Good? good.