GW_Wolf

I have to admit, I think he did the right thing. He never had any patience for fakery, and that has not changed. It's likely more so with her, after how she broke their friendship.

Please stop making Neville like Harry in actions. He is, or was, until Halloween, arrogant and conceited. Now you have him acting like Harry? It's contrived and seriously comes off as a plot hole.

I'm really enjoying the world, the characterizations, and the plot intermixed with the lemony goodness. I like that not everything is easy, even if the system is helping him get more powerful. I kind of wish this plot-heavy portion had not come until later, but I am still enjoying it.

If Harry is heir to an Earldom in the muggle world, he has been Earl since the day James died. That's how that works in the normal world. He may not have all the authority of the position, but the title and lands are his from that very day.

Dumbledore's constant need to be in Harry's business should at some point, lead to him getting fired. He is way too obsessed with Harry. And way too arrogant to realize he is not smart enough to be the guide he wants to be.

Again, while some new stuff is addressed in this chapter, there is a lot of confusion. Also, the Harry here is not the independent, skeptical, and logical person we've seen for most of the chapters. This one is, in fact, not even as independent a original Harry, much less the one you have shown us. Again, your writing hasbeen good, until these last two chapters.

This chapter seems very confused. The writing ignores events that've shady happened, jumps into the middle of conversations with no transition, and seems like it's maybe three different versions of the chapter combined together.

This was a fun chapter. I am liking how you are taking this story. I am definitely curious to see where you will take it.

I like the writing on this a lot, but am having a hard time buying Snape being even remotely likely to adopt Harry. It's just... what?

This is a fun story with excellent characters. The writing shows some difficulty with English grammar and sentence structure, as well as tenses, but despite this, it is an excellent story!