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J_Writing

J_Writing

Lv11
2021-05-29 入りましたGlobal
9.7h

読書の

38

本を読む

バッジ

6

瞬間

46
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    に返信 kuhaku_sora
    この章は削除されました。
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    ファンタジー · J_Writing
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    に返信 waurpel

    Oh dang, I've been caught! I shall correct!

    この章は削除されました。
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    ファンタジー · J_Writing
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  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    に返信 kuhaku_sora
    この章は削除されました。
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  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    に返信 kuhaku_sora
    この章は削除されました。
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  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    に返信 waurpel

    It's fun to say. xD

    この章は削除されました。
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  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    発表

    Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. You should feel incredibly proud of yourself. The way this story unfurls gives the reader something to look forward to in every chapter; mystery, chaos, intrigue and a bit of comedy as well. I am obsessed with this novel. Noe is a truly unique character that shines a light on the autistic community; he is gentle and intuitive. I don't really have anything to critique, The novel is a little fast paced but I like that, I think it attributes to the story. My dear author, excellent job.

    Devil Child
    LGBT+ · SEP1A
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    コメント
    "Chins up, eyes straight ahead," he commands. "There is nothing they can throw at you that you won't get up from; not on my watch."
    Devil Child
    LGBT+ · SEP1A
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    コメント
    この段落は削除されました。
    Devil Child
    LGBT+ · SEP1A
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    コメント

    Well hello....

    Ch 1 Prelude: Heaven's Kiss
    Devil Child
    LGBT+ · SEP1A
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    発表

    First and foremost, I love the concept. The comedy relief that God gives is just excellent; I don't find it insulting at all and in fact I think that God would be somewhat laze faire. So great job there. I love the MCs sassy attitude and big heart, you give a lot of emphasis on self love and I think we need to see more of that in life. You give enough attention to descriptions that I can imagine most of it myself but you still steer the reader in the direction you want which I think is great; I love descriptive text. For critiques it's definitely grammar and sentence structure. I would also recommend Grammarly and even writing in google docs before posting. That way you can do an edit check; but don't be too harsh on yourself because it's hard to edit. I noticed that you said you live in Asia and I think your writing for English when it's not your first language (I'm assuming and if I'm wrong I'm so sorry) is actually very good! With more practice, peer reviews and writing I think you'll have our ridiculous language down. (I am from America and even I don't get my language right all the time). All in all you have done a wonderful job and I want to see more. I have added this to my library and can't wait top see where this goes. I am happy to do a peer review with you any time!

    Flowers, Crowns and love
    歴史 · modestbaddie
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    コメント
    この章は削除されました。
    Flowers, Crowns and love
    歴史 · modestbaddie
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    コメント
    この章は削除されました。
    Flowers, Crowns and love
    歴史 · modestbaddie
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    コメント
    この段落は削除されました。
    Flowers, Crowns and love
    歴史 · modestbaddie
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    に返信 waurpel

    And this is why I adore your story

    My quiet life
    ファンタジー · waurpel
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    発表

    Well. I wrote my first review and Webnovel decided not to take it. Rude website. Anywho. Let me start, or restart, by saying that I am head over heels for this story. The way you write allows your reader to paint the portrait with guidelines and I greatly enjoy that. You pull the reader in with the sweet tender beginning and then sweep them for a wild and emotional ride. As a mother, I can say with certainty that I would never allow my child to go through such horrors; I literally cried for the MC and grew enraged at every member of her family. Goldie excluding of course. I felt every wound and wanted nothing more than to comfort that sweet child. If I could, I would put myself into the story just so I could give her all the love and care she deserves. As well, you bring a light to disabilities that I don't think many people understand, and for that I bow to you. For critiques, I can only say that I recommend to take each chapter individually and make adjusts where needed on repeat of words, run on sentences, grammar and punctuation. Most of the time I can't read a story when that is bad so I want to assure you there isn't that much here because I devoured all of these chapters. Her relationship with Jade is adorable by the way. As a sage heckin wisdoms, I guess, I can say that the more you write in a public setting the more you will become accustom to doing those edits after you write each chapter. I too get sucked up in the flow of my writing and have to remember to go back and edit; which does get hard because you read it so much. Please take a moment to congratulate yourself on a story well written. I am looking forward to more.

    My quiet life
    ファンタジー · waurpel
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    コメント

    For this sentence it will help to put a semicolon like so: "...the tallest around; even taller than the mansion." That will prevent it from being a run on sentence. I have trouble with this sometimes, too. For me it's honestly getting so caught up in the writing that you can miss the tiny things.

    この段落は削除されました。
    My quiet life
    ファンタジー · waurpel
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    コメント
    この段落は削除されました。
    My quiet life
    ファンタジー · waurpel
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    コメント

    I love it! Already an awesome start

    この段落は削除されました。
    My quiet life
    ファンタジー · waurpel
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    に返信 kuhaku_sora

    I appreciate all the feedback and will absolutely making those updates. You're awesome!

    Not Applicable/Redacted
    ファンタジー · J_Writing
    detail
  • J_Writing
    J_Writing2yr
    発表

    This story has brought me so much joy. Alan's narcissism and the System's sass are just coupled so well together; I love it. Even GOD hates him. xD Oh man, I really enjoy it. I do want to see more description and maybe the introduction of another character but otherwise this is excellent. Bravo, I'm looking forward to more chapters.

    Evolution to GOD
    都市 · REaper
    detail