Chapter Four: Your Smile is Quite Mischievous

Jian threw his phone away after turning it on silent mode. He was still feeling the aftereffects of the epinephrine. He had muscle pains and low fever. A sleep would have helped him but he could not sleep after finding out that Luigi also went back in time just like that.

Just like Luigi, Jian also had a bad impression of the other person. Jian could not fathom how a mere friend could hate him that much after Sean's death. When he was kissed that night, it all made sense to him, Luigi is gay and he's madly in love with the person Jian sort of murdered.

Even the person who drove while drunk and hit Sean while he was driving before only got two years in jail and bailed his way out with cold money. How come he's being asked to pay for Sean's death from one lifetime to another?

After Sean's death, he was thrown out of their house. Since then, he had no family. Hearing Luigi judge him for not telling Sean and Mrs. Sarah about his allergy made him so irritated. "Why can't he ask why those two doesn't know about my allergy first?" He complained to himself and reached out for a pack of cigarette and smoked.

From Jian's perspectives, he knew he's not kind or sweet. He was idolized by many but he doesn't see himself at a height deserving to look down on others and judge them whether they're blameless or not. He smoked one cigarette after another. He flicked the ash off on the ashtray... He asked, "Just who the fuck does he think he is?"

After smoking, he calmed down and finally fell asleep.

...

On the other hand, Luigi kept calling and messaging Jian through sms and chats. Jian completely ignored him. His worries then shifted to annoyance.

On a Monday morning, Sean was left at home even though he had a fever because his parents had to check their farm. Luigi looked after him the whole day and told him how he was ignored too.

"You sent him to his inn right? Can you go there and check on him instead?", Sean pleaded while he was lying still on bed with cooling patch on his head.

Luigi hit the controller and played aggressively. "Who would take care of you if I go there?"

"You're just playing dude."

Luigi already knew that Jian got sent to the ER last night. He knew he's sick but Sean was also sick. Since no one was there to look after Sean, he decided to look after him. "I fed you, I helped wiping your sweat. I'm taking care of you just fine. So, you should go to sleep."

Sean sighed and closed his eyes. "I will sleep. Just go and check on him, anyways ma will be here by afternoon. I've also taken my medicine. I'll be fine. Just please, check on my Kuya Jian."

Luigi nodded and left as soon as Sean's breathing became even.

When he knocked on Jian's door. It didn't take long for him to open it.

"Why didn't you answer me last night?" Luigi had more to complain but Jian's appearance shut him up. Jian was only wearing a bath robe, his clavicles and chest almost exposed. His red hair has a hint of wetness and he smelled like sweet fruity lemon and mint.

"You were being clingy, so, can you really blame me?" He joked and gestured him to come in.

His room was big and had a good interior design. Just that, his suitcase was opened and lying on the floor, his clothes were cluttered. The sheets of the bed were wrinkled. The left-over pizza and opened coke cans were all over the coffee table and sofa. And his cigarette butts and ashes are overflowing out of the ashtray.

"When was the last time you called for housekeeping?" Luigi asked.

Jian laid on the bed and opened his laptop as he lazily replied, "I just checked in yesterday."

"Your fever is over?" Luigi rushed to his side and picked up a towel to help Jian dry his hair.

Uneasy about the sudden display of care, Jian took the towel out of his hand and did it himself. "Yeah. The IV drip helped me deal with the side-effects of the shot. And I don't get sick easily, okay?" He's smile was rather awkward, he looked shy that Luigi thought it was somehow out of character for Jian to be shy over something simple like this.

Luigi did not believed him and asked, "But the twin thing… Sean is bedridden due to fever, he's worried it might be connected to you."

"Ohh. That's just some coincidences. When we were kids, he basically lived in the hospital and I was playing just fine." Jian threw the wet towel and laughed at him for being superstitious. "Are you sure, you're Catholic?... Oh, you being religious must be why you're superstitious, I mean, where's the line between devotion and blind obedience in religion? Silly me."

The conversation switched from Sean's fever to something else. Luigi walked around and cleaned up while Jian laid on the bed, his laptop on his belly, and the robe slit displayed the sultry legs over the other.

They naturally continued the conversation as Luigi asked, "Don't you believe in God? We got back in time, don't you think, it's somehow, one of his miracles?"

Jian laughed so hard at his assumption, "Miracle? Maybe. But even if your god or some other god exists, I don't think it's significant to believe in him. I mean, isn't it narcissistic to have people believe in him before he saves them? Like, that's just too needy of him. What's he got to lose if I choose not to put my faith in him?"

"You're not scared of hell?" Luigi asked.

"You went back in time, and you're still thinking about the possibility of going to hell if you don't believe in your god?"

Jian's tone had sarcasm in it. Luigi himself stopped going to church after Sean's funeral. It was kind of hypocritical of him to insist about his god's existence to a thorough atheist like Jian.

"Well, after we did that, the next morning, I came back in time yesterday. I wished to go back in time and make things right after you sing your song… Maybe, God heard my wish and got me here. What's the odd, right?"

Jian did not respond and stayed still looking at the screen. He then reached out for another smoke on the desk and lit it. His phone rang and this time, he finally looked at the notification on his phone. Calls from his step-mom, Sean and Luigi… and this time, it's Mitch.

He picked up her call and went out to the veranda holding the cigarette on his fingers.

The conversation was not audible from Luigi's position. He continued cleaning up to relieve his embarrassment after talking about that night. Sean did not respond to that and it made him more embarrassed. Jian called it 'pity fuck' last night, he thought it might not be that big of a deal for Jian while he kept thinking about it. Compared to a first-timer like him, Jian clearly seemed so experienced… It must really not a big deal.

Luigi walked closer to Jian and picked up some of the sentences Jian said to the caller on the phone.

"Yeah"… "Hmmm."… "I dunno 'bout that, I can't."… "I know, I'm sorry."… "Hmm. See you." "Okay."

Luigi clearly saw Jian's expressionless face yet he sounded so affectionate and gentle. But from how short his responses were, he does looked indifferent. Just like that day on the funeral, he looked so chill and indifferent even though it was his twin that died…

When Jian caught sight of him, he quickly wore a smile. Luigi smiled back. And things got awkward again. After taking out the trash, Luigi came back with food for early dinner from the small eatery nearby taking note that Jian can't eat sea foods and he was just sick, so he only picked those that are healthy and easy to digest.

Jian changed his clothes to white shirt, pastel light blue shorts and light beige cardigan. He had a light and sweet aura. He was almost dazzling when he smiled as soon as Luigi came back.

"Come here." Jian gestured him to come over and sit beside him on the long sofa.

Luigi calmed himself while putting the dishes on the plates and bowl he found on the mini kitchen. He reasoned, "Let's have dinner first. By the way, you eat vegetables, right?"

Jian nodded, "Hmm. My dad is the kind of vegan who preach and insist their diet on others. Of course I eat vegies."

"Oh… do you eat meat? How about chicken?"

"I eat anything, I especially like tender and juicy meat." Luigi looked back at him and was taunted at the smirk on Jian's face. Jian laughed until the food was laid on the dining table. "Ugh, how come you're still acting like a virgin? Virginity is an abstract idea, it's not measured by penetration and what not. If we're being technical here, you're not a virgin anymore, sad boy."

The guy with questionable virginity felt more embarrassed. They ate on facing each other while Jian continued teasing him about the concept of virginity and the social expectations of what a virgin and not virgin should be.

"And, by the way, aren't you proud that you have a miraculous wand underneath your briefs? One climax and you wrap up not just the condom but also the time and space." Jian almost choked on his porridge because of too much laughing on his own dirty jokes. "Physicists must seriously collab with biologists and study your glorious D."… "Anyway, thanks for making me experience the big bang theory!"

"Happy now?" Luigi handed him water to calm down. His laugh was just the ordinary laugh, not like Sean's unique laugh-inducing laugh.

Jian did not eat much and proceeded to get his laptop and went back to his seat. While Luigi was eating, Jian started his presentation. The ppt on the screen had no sense of any aesthetics, just the template on Microsoft. The font was 18 pt. Times New Roman. The format was too formal.

"Listen, I'm Jian Ong AKA 'Jao' the lead vocalist of Hard-Boiled Band. And today, I present to you, Mr. Ramir, my detailed plan on "Saving Sean". So, sit back and listen to my proposal that doesn't need your approval because I'll do this anyway whether you're on it or not."

Luigi looked at the small subtitle font on the screen saying "How to Return Sean to Mr. Sadboi".

"I'm not a sadboi." Luigi insisted.

"You had a fair amount of emo years, who else deserved such title, but you?" Jian smiled mischievously.

The next slide was screenshots of his posts in facebook Luigi has forgotten already.

"Facebook asked, what's on your mind… Well, I've always been thinking of you even if you don't think of me that way. Huhuhu."

A photo of him in side bangs and black cap captioned, "I'm always here waiting for you. Waiting for you to like me back. Ayeeeee~ <3 <3<3"

A selfie with sepia filter and him biting his lips with another chilling caption, "Do you know how much you make me smile? Because of you I think I'm going crazy… Crazy in love with you! </3"

He was only 12 or 13 there and it was already his dark years. Poor him.

"Come on, if this is not emo, I don't know what is." Jian held back his laugh and showed a smug face, mocking him more for his mistakes online.

Luigi stopped eating. He tried to redeem himself, "I've been through a lot. Unrequited love and staying in the closet during puberty sucks, okay?"

The next slide was another emo post when he shared a pictures from old commercial with subtitle— Why do your crush don't like you back? He captioned it with, "Because we're just friends. It really hurts... [enter lyrics from a cringy emo song]... 'ang magmahal ng ganito, kung sino pang pinili ko hindi makuha ng buo'... [crying face emoji 5x plus broken heart emoji]"

Jian said, "You were quite expressive, how did you manage to stay in unrequited love and keep your sexuality a secret all these years?"

"That's my secret account, you happy now? And how did you find that account? I even forgot the password for that. You're such a stalker." The self-proclaimed ex-emo got angry but kept his decency.

"Sorry for making fun of your dark years." Jian cleared his throat and proceeded, "I'll be more serious now, please bear with me."