Chapter 19: Nicholas

Nicholas p.o.v.

" Tell me, Xenia, what else do you want from me, hmm?", I asked, shoving my lips in her ear, " And remember that, lying is a sin."

I whispered and glanced down, so I could watch it, watch the way her flesh pressed against mine, the way her thin chemise allowed me to see that smooth swell of her breasts peeking out, or the way her full body weight pressed against my cock...

Fuck, Wasn't it supposed to be just teasing? Just a payback for calling me a sassenach... I wasn't actually going to kiss her, not even her hand. And I still had no fucking idea what I was doing...which priest seduce a woman anyway? There was no denying it, I purposely stood up and provoked her...why? I had no fucking idea, it's just, that disgusting part of my brain liked her begging...and that starvation in her eyes for me, for one kiss. What was I even thinking, Xenia is not some whore I used to fuck around...she is a queen, but fuck that, because watching a queen begging you, was one of the hottest things I'd ever seen. God Nicholas, you are no good than those kings and lords who lusted over Xenia!

And what about my vows, how many of them I'd broken today, I asked to myself, my eyes still glued to her body, watching her rubbing over me lustfully, it was such a close approximation to the real thing, maybe too close...but still, it wasn’t actually sex, I lied to myself, maybe it wouldn’t count, maybe I wasn’t sinning. But somewhere deep inside me, I knew I was, but holy fuck, I was still not stopping.

" Everything...", Xenia moaned, "I want you to take everything I have and fuck me...fuck me right here."

Shit, Xenia was filthy. And perfect. And it was a pure impulse that made me grab her hips and work her harder and faster over me, my mind thinking of all the countless filthy things I could do with her...and about the guilt which will come after that.

I could have stopped right there. I would have, even with her rosy lips and her bright blue eyes and her nipples in tight little points under the thin small dress she wore. Even with my rough hands on her cute little arse cheeks, even with the surge of power and satisfaction and lust that came from grinding my body against a woman’s in this primal, dominating way.

I would have, I swear.

But I choose not to, I could have stopped easily, I could have stopped this sin, this madness, this lust... but I didn't. Neither the desire for paradise nor fear of perdition concerned me anymore because I knew, I knew even heaven isn't as beautiful as Xenia.

"Everything?", I asked and slipped my hand under her dress, Xenia gasped but didn't stop me when I was fucking waiting for her to deny it. I was giving her a last chance to escape because if she didn't, then there was no way I could live without touching her at this point.

" Yes, Everything, I am yours to take.", Xenia whispered, her blue eyes watching my every move...her words were carved into my mind, and they would be there forever.

I licked my lips, slowly touching her inner thighs, and then..there it was that wet delicious heaven, I could die for just one taste. Xenia was fucking drenched...wait, my eyes flickered at her, " Xenia...", I said dangerously, " You came here without wearing your thongs?"

My hand was still on her core, my fingers slowly rubbing her wet clit, when she nodded, peering up at me, " I did, but then I was touching myself thinking about you...so I removed it, they are under the desk now, my gown too."

Jesus help her...help me.

" You were touching yourself here, in this office?".

A pause, then another nod. And with that, the last remaining shred of my self-control frayed, threatening to snap.

" And here I thought, you slept waiting for me.", I grumbled before the crack trembled through the tower, and she jumped at the feeling of my hand smacking her ass. Xenia moaned and pushed her ass up farther. But I didn’t spank her again, although Lord knows I wanted to. Instead, I ran my hand from her shoulder to her hip and stopped right there, trying to compose all of my self-control.

" You don't even know, how many times I had done that..."

Oh of course I knew.

Xenia slowly glided her hands over my chest, looking at me with her innocent glimmering eyes, " Every night, thinking about you..."

And there it went, any self-discipline that remained, and all that was left was a male—not Duke, not Father Nicholas —but something more primal and more demanding.

" How?", I asked.

" What?"

" Sit on the desk, spread your legs and show me how you fucked yourself thinking about me," I ordered, her mouth parted and cheeks reddened, but fuck if she didn't comply right away. Xenia crouched on the desk, opening her legs and bracing her hand against her slit, that thin fabric still restricting her skin to touch, her other hand grasping the dress tightly, stopping it to slip from her body. And I, I was trying to control but couldn't, and finally stood up.

She was still rubbing herself over her chemise, peering up at me with her doe blue eyes when I reached the desk and stood between her legs. My hand reached her shoulder. She’d worn her hair up in a loose twist, exposing the ivory nape of her neck, and I caressed it now, wanting to devour every shiver, every hitched breath. And then, I pushed Xenia down, the way her petite figure was laying over the desk...the same desk I read those holy books but today I opened her legs like I'd opened the pages of the Bible...and watched her soft white skin in awe like I was watching the divinity itself.

My other hand meandered over her body, from her bare shoulder to her small waist, feeling the curve of her breast, still hidden under that thin cloth, I want to rip apart. And then I repeated the action with both hands this time, letting my hands drift down to the hem of her dress. She drew in a breath, and then I abruptly yanked it up to her waist before spreading her legs, spread them so that her cunt was gloriously bared to me. “My little queen,” I whispered. “You are so very, very wet right now."

Xenia whimpered but I didn't stop there and leaned down between her legs, taking her slender wrists in my hand. I stretched out over her, pinning her wrists to the desk above her head, my clothed cock brushing against her pussy and her bunched-up dress when I shoved my hand between her legs. I let one finger drift over to her pussy and then I slid it inside, crooking it down to find the soft, textured spot that would push her over the edge. Xenia blinked up at me, biting her lips when I shoved another finger deep inside her, slowly thrusting in and out from her wet hole. All this time, my eyes glued to her parted lips and teary blue eyes...I did give her a chance to escape, didn't I? It's her fault to tempt me in the first place...those tears will not going to work on me anyway, at least not now.

My fingers started moving faster, viciously hoisting inside her, she moaned and was shamelessly grinding back over my fingers now. I dropped my head, burying my face in her neck and inhaled deeply. Xenia smelled like the cold wind with the barest hint of a rose essence— my essence...and I want her to odour more like me, I want my scent all over her. For some reason, this desire, this possible decadence, fueled my need to tear her apart. I bit her neck, her collarbone, scratched her shoulders with my teeth, all while I ground my fingers against her clit and sucked those hard tits above that thin cloth, steering as if I were punishing her with pleasure. Punishing her for returning my feelings, for not stopping me, for enjoying my assault and for whacking my carefully constructed life over as if it were a chess board...and I was just her pawn.

She squirmed underneath me, panting and gasping, her hands bending uselessly against the desk as I kept them pinned there with only one hand. Xenia was so wet, it would be so easy, just took out my dick and then I could thrust in. Fuck, I wanted to do that...I wanted to do that now, just shove inside her with one strong thrust... I finally opened my eyes, and then her feisty blue eyes met mine, Xenia looked at me as if she couldn't believe I was actually here, above her, with my fingers inside her cunt...I couldn't believe that either.

All I could feel, breathe and taste was her, but then I looked up and noticed my black cassock laying helplessly under my silver cross, my eyes moved up more and then I saw that small crucifix in front of the desk—a tragic, agonized god hanging in sacrifice—and my heart lurched. What the hell was I doing? Playing with my faith like that...breaking my vows and dishonouring that black robe, and what about my respect? Anybody could enter this tower, anytime, walk in the front door, and see their priest with a woman, half-nacked over the desk, bending as if he was worshipping her body, bending with his finger buried in her cunt and his mouth wrapped in her tits...and not any woman, the princess, the maiden, whose body just belonged to the king...and to God himself.