ch 31

Anna's POV:

I was lying in bed still half asleep but even then I knew that something was wrong. I could feel something missing and it was way too hot under my blanket.

Yes, sleeping under the heating blanket was warm but Edward's body temperature was evening it out. Did he have to leave and do something?

Waking up more, suddenly, the images of the kidnap rushed back into my mind and I was sitting straight in my bed, breathing franticly. My heart was beating wildly in my chest, form one second to the other, leaving gasping for air. My eyes briefly crossed over the room I was in and everything stopped.

I recognized the shocking sight immediately which had me frozen in place. I was in my room and I don't mean the room in Kevin's house or at the Cullen's but my room.

My room in my world.

I was back home. Home! Where my parents were. Home! Were I was born and had grown up. I would see my parents again. Happiness shot through my body at that thought. I would finally see them again.

My lips curved into a big smile as I thought about seeing my mom again. I didn't know how much I truly missed her until now. I was about to jump out of my bed and call for her when it hit me.

I was gone for months.

The happenings from hours or were it only moments ago banned into the back of my mind for the time being as I was facing the troubles at hand.

What would I tell them? My parents will want to know where I was and what happened.

I was getting panicked as I thought about what to tell them, desperately trying to come up with something that didn't sound insane.

Would I tell them that I ran away?

That I had been kidnapped?

But where was I then?

And who did this to me?

Alright now I was in big trouble. I had no idea how to get out of this one. Nothing I came up with was making senses or didn't sound like a lame excuse.

While I was sitting on my bed and my mind was making a mile a minute, trying to come up with something I suddenly heard a familiar voice.

"Anna, honey are you awake? You have to get up or you will be late for school." My mom called out of the kitchen.

At the sound of her voice I didn't think anymore. I simply jumped out of my bed and ran into the kitchen throwing my arms around my surprised mother. She hugged me back startled.

"You alright?"

She had a concerned look on her face when I looked up. I only smiled at her.

"Yeah, I'm alright mom. Good morning by the way."

She looked concerned for a little while longer but then shrugged it off and returned her attention to making breakfast.

"Too much good mood in the morning." My brother grumbled as he passed the kitchen. He wasn't a morning person at all.

As I stood there in the kitchen smiling at my mom and watching her going over her morning routine of making tea and coffee for all of us, my mind started working again. My mom was behaving as if I never left.

I was starting to get confused and a creepy feeling was spreading under my skin. This wasn't making any sense. I was gone for months. Why wasn't she surprised to see me? Where were the tears and the screaming for an explanation where I was all the time?

I shook my head while a thick lump build in my throat and slowly I stepped backwards out of the kitchen, desperately trying to keep it together as I was slowly becoming sick.

Once safety on my room again and the door closed shut I searched for my calendar to check the date. I switched my TV on to check it there and on my computer and mobile.

They all gave me the same date. It was the day after I had disappeared.

Only a little time had passed here and not months. It had been only hours since I last had seen my family according to the date on all my sources.

I sat down on my chair that belonged to my desk, concentrating on my breathing as black spots build before my eyes while my mind desperately tried to make sense out if this mess. What had happened? How could it be? I spend months in Forks. Just then I realized what being back in my world meant.

Forks!! I wasn't in Forks anymore.

The consequences of this fact slowly began to sink in.

I was so happy to be home again to see my parents that I completely forgot what it meant seeing my parents and my family again.

I was back in my world. The world where Edward and the Cullen's existed only as characters in a book and on the movie screen.

Edward.

I was away from my Edward and I didn't know how to get back to him. Panic washed over me as my situation was becoming clear to me.

My mind froze. My heart hammered violently against my ribcage in denial of the cruel truth. The heart beats were so loud that it tuned all other sounds out. My ears were ringing. Ice cold shivers were running through my body and I felt light and heavy at the same time.

After taking a deep breath I tried to think about this logical. There had to be an explanation.

I mean I was in Forks, wasn't I?

I met Edward and the others, didn't I?

Sitting in my chair at my desk, looking around my room and on my calendar again I suddenly didn't know what to think anymore.

Was this all just a dream?

Was I really in Forks?

Did I really meet them?

I didn't know the answers to those questions but I knew I was in love with Edward but which Edward.

The real one if there even was a real one or with a character out of a book whom I liked yesterday, well kind of but now somehow was in love with.

One might think that it would have been easy for me to believe that it all really happened but how could I. Only hours passed here, one night, enough time for it to be just a dream.

There was nothing to prove otherwise. It could all only have happened in my head and nothing of it...…..I shook my head, not wanting to continue down that path.

I knew my love for Edward, my love for them was real. I never could doubt that no matter what happens but I did doubt my sanity.

Looking around in my room, what used to be my safe place, it now felt small and claustrophobic. I didn't seem to get enough air into my lungs as hot tears were running down my panic stricken face.

Questions and doubts were suddenly bombarding my mind. I didn't know what to think anymore. I started hyperventilating. I had a panic attack.

Hello déjà vu!

As I suddenly stood up, the room started spinning. All the questions in my head were moving faster and becoming louder. My room was moving and I began to have a headache.

I felt my body temperature rise. I was burning all over but I couldn't concentrate on that my mind had an overload and I felt myself fall to the ground as I fainted.

*

Since the day I woke up in my room again weeks passed. After I woke up from my fainting I had a high fever and had to stay in bed for nearly a week. The fever just wouldn't go down.

The funny thing was that just as quickly as the fever appeared it disappeared again but I didn't pay my health any attention. I had other things on my plate.

I wanted to go back, desperately back to Fork, to my Edward, back where my heart was but I was stuck in my world. I had no idea how I landed there the first time around so how could I figure out how to return?

And as if that wasn't bad enough my mind was struggling to comprehend what was happening to me. My mind and my heart were fighting each other.

While my heart knew that I had been in Twilight and that I really met Edward and that my love for him was real that our love for each other was real my mind told me otherwise.

My mind tried to convince me that nothing of this ever happened, that it all was just a dream and I should forget it. My mind was trying to protect me.

But no matter how hard the rational part of me tried to convince me to let go of it and go on with my life I couldn't. I was stuck between my heart and my mind.

Waking up in Twilight was easier. I had evidence that something was wrong, out of the ordinary but here I had nothing.

For the longest time I was only confused. I tried as best I could to hide my predicament form my parents and everybody else. As far I was successful. None would understand what I was going through anyway. So there was no use worrying them or making them aware of my condition.

After my total confusion died down I was kind of numb. I only knew one thing I loved Edward and I missed him terribly but I wasn't sure whether all of this happened or if I went insane.

I don't think anyone can imagine how it feels like to know, to have experienced something that is said to be impossible by any sane person, what you have no evidence of and not to lose your mind.

With all my heart I knew I was in Forks but my rational part always screamed at my heart that I should be locked up in a paddled cell.

One day then, I don't know why but it just didn't matter anymore how crazy my visit in Twilight sounded it had to be real because I refused to believe that the love I had for Edward that our love for each other, our time together wouldn't be real.

To be honest I was past caring. If I was crazy then I was embracing it. Some things are worth risking everything for it.

As the confusion and the numbness disappeared I knew the truth. I had been in Twilight. It all happened one way or another. But I still had a big issue left. I had no idea how to go back.

I was back in my world leaving my heart in the other one.

The days passed and I adjusted myself as best I could so none would notice the emptiness inside of me.

Just as I thought, back then on my first visit in Edward's and mine meadow, I didn't fall into a great depression. I didn't become completely lifeless or comatose.

But my life now without Edward in it, it was not right, it was wrong and incomplete.

Every day I did walk the path in a world were nothing existed. A room without any objects or sounds or colours. Walking a grey endless path in a white room with no aim or purpose because I had lost my aim.

I had lost my Edward.

My heart and soul.

Everything was a huge effort and I walked through my life as a half person but what counted was that I did walk. I did move forward. I took one step after another. I spend as much time as possible with my family.

I knew now very well how unpredictable life was and how fast everything could end or disappear.

I didn't want to waste any moment with my family that I could have and being around them did help me a little not to go crazy.

I couldn't tell anyone what was wrong with me and none knew. Thank god for that. It was really hard not to be able to talk to someone about the loss I had to endure each and every day.

I wasn't exactly Bella's empty, zombie self that she was in New Moon but I wasn't anywhere near alright or even remotely O.K. either.

Denial had become my best friend. I could lie to myself and tell myself that I could do it. I felt like such a hypocrite.

While being in Twilight I was able to deal with the loss of my family but now that I'm back home it's destroying me to be away from Edward.

Was I a horrible person because I missed Edward more then I did my biological family?

I didn't know the answer and with time it mattered less and less. I was becoming a walking functioning shell.

Nothing was right anymore and nothing felt right anymore but I did live. Time went on. The planet still turned and I moved forward form one day to another.

On some days I was angry for having found my true love because if I hadn't I wouldn't feel like shit now but then again I would have also missed out on the best time in my life.

I was always a loner type in my world at least it wasn't so in Forks. I got along with the human kids there. Naturally I didn't have any close friendships with them but still more then I ever had with anyone in the world I was born in.

I was dwelling on what happened yet again, it wasn't like me to dwell on things but...…Did I really need to remind myself why I dwelled?

"When do you think the next book will be out?" I heard a loud female voice ask. She was one of the pretty girls in my class, very hipper and if her life depended on it she wouldn't be able to keep her voice down.

I tried to tune her out as good as I could but knew it was in vain there was no getting around her loud organ. I sighed because the brunette next to her wasn't any better.

"I don't know but I read an interview and the author said she didn't know when the next book would come out. Her dream ended with the leading characters death."

"Come on you can't be serious this can't end like this. I mean I was pulling my hair out by the end of the third book."

"Yeah I know what you mean first her reading the original story and then she was suddenly there."

"Stephenie Meyer is a great writer don't you think?"

I groaned quietly did they really have to talk about that. My heart was being ripped out of my chest just thinking about what they would chatter about next.

"Yeah first I was rooting for Edward and Bella…." And there was the pain shortly shooting through my entire body before confusion set in.

First? And past tense?

"...as I read the original books but Anna and Edward are just too cute together. And she is way better for him the Bella ever was."

"Hey aren't you a little bit too harsh on Bella I mean how could she have known…"

"And how could Anna? The original books were out of Bella's perspective so she and Anna were at exactly the same page about vampirism, the Cullen's and Edward."

What?????

Was the only thing my mind was capable of? What were they talking about? My mind was not able to accept what my ears just took in.

"Anna suddenly woke up on a plane was faced with losing everything she knew before and suddenly had to deal with Vampire and Werewolves. And she got the dream guy making him even better. I liked Bella's Edward but I'm crazy for Anna's Edward."

I was about to black out. All air left my lungs as an ice cold wave rushed through every cell in my body. I had goose flesh everywhere and the hair at the back of my neck was standing to no end.

This was not happening!!!

"You are talking about Twilight again?" Asked a male voice but I was beyond the ability to recognize who it was.

This was so not happening!!! Was I going insane?

There was a buzzing in my ears that constantly got louder, I felt like fainting and I was really sick. I was shaking like a leave in the middle of a tornado. Not being able to notice my surrounding anymore.

"Anna?...…Anna?...Can you hear me?...Anna?" Someone was talking to me while shaking me. I shook my head to clear it a little and looked up.

A startled English teacher was looking directly into my eyes and breath out a sighed of relief as I responded to him.

When did he come in anyway?

"You should go to the nurse office. You look like you about to black out." Mrs. Deasy said a look of concern on his face.

"Can you stand up? Do you need to throw up?"

"No…..I …I….think I can" I shuttered out.

My knees felt like jelly but I would try to walk anyway. As I stood up I had to sit down again because the world around me started to become black. My head spun.

"Anna.."

"No, I'm fine just a minute." I whispered.

I don't know how but somehow I made it into the nurse office lying on the bed in the white, sterile room.

"Anna, god honey, what happened to you?" I suddenly heard my mom's voice besides me.

"Guess I ate something wrong," I weakly smiled at her. "Sorry you had to come here. What about your job?"

"Don't worry I got it covered."

"Sorry."

"That's what a mom is here for and now let's get you home." Mom suggested and I slowly got of the bed.

The ride home was quite after I convinced her not to take me to the Doctor. A Doctor wouldn't be able to help me anyway.

And if I dared to explain why I was as white as a sheet, I would be admitted into the funny farm faster then I could blink and I sure as hell wouldn't be leaving the mental institution anytime soon.

Arriving at home I lay down on my bed and not planning to, I almost immediately fell asleep. When I woke up it was in the middle of the night.

My head hurt and my stomach revolted. I went to my dress drawer and pulled some pain killers out, pooping two of them.

One of the negative things I inherited from my mom was the tendency to have killer headaches. Luckily for me I only had them once every few months but now I seemed to have them at least once a week.

While I waited for the painkillers to take effect I switched my lap top on. It was too late to go out and try to buy the books but I could do some research in the internet.

Finally the thing came to life and I googled Twilight. Ever since I was back I avoided everything that had to do with Twilight, all magazines, radio, internet, TV. When ever I read the word Twilight I simply shot down.

The hits were there and I clicked a web side on. My heart was beating wildly in my chest, emotions raging in my body, the throbbing in my head became worse.

Taking a few breaths I tried to calm myself. Getting myself upset was only fuelling the pain in my head and making my vision blur. Having my emotions and pain a little better under control, I started reading not only one web side but as many as I could.

Everyone of them informed met the same thing. There was the original book series of Twilight that was published about thirty years ago by Stephenie Meyer's mother and then there were her books, about a girl named Anna who read the original book series and suddenly landed in it, changing the story with her presence.

The first book was called "Entering Twilight".

I was in shock. I couldn't comprehend what I was reading. I just couldn't...My mind wasn't able to keep up. I went back to bed after switching the lap top off. And snuggled into my sheets.

My lips were pressed into a thin line to keep myself from screaming. I was rapidly reaching my limits. I just lay there trying not to think and thinking everything at once.

Time lost all it's meaning and out of the blue I heard my alarm remind me that it was time to go to school. Like a robot I stood up and got ready for school. My mom gave a concerned look but I shrugged her off not saying anything.

I was supposed to go to school but I didn't instead I went to the next best book store. To my luck the one at the bus station in town opened already at six o'clock. It was a book store and kiosk in one, aiming for the load of people that had to head out early to get to work.

I entered the shop and headed straight for an employee I didn't have the nerve to search for the books but I didn't need to ask. The books where right there in front of me with an enormous poster over them.

The image on the poster changed a little bit from what I was used to. Instead the two hands holding the apple there was one hand holding the apple, now. It was a big hand, obviously male hand and a smaller one, probably female, was protectively held over the red apple, shielding it.

Swallowing hard, I stormed over to the books, first inspecting the old series that was also displayed for sale. "Twilight", "New Moon", "Eclipse" and "Breaking Dawn" were still how they were supposed to be only that the scenery was set in the 1970s. As far as I could gather from a quick sweep over the pages.

But they weren't what I was interested in, in this exact moment. I grabbed the three new volumes, paid for them and went to a quiet place near the station to read them.

The first book, "Entering Twilight", introduced me a little and was mainly about how I entered the Twilight universe. How I coped with being there. How the Cullen's reacted to me and how Edward and I felt in love, destroying the love story of him and Bella.

The second book, "Fallen Moon", was about the whole James incidence and the confrontation with the Werewolves which let me to sign the treaty. It was written form mine and Edward's point of view. It was interesting to get to know Edward sight of the story. I mean yes he told me how he felt but reading "Fallen Moon" I realized he did edit a bit. But to my great pleasure I had to say that he was being honest about his feelings and he did try to open up as much as he could. Nearly a century was not easy to be left behind.

The third book, "Eclipse of the Wolf", was about Edward and me deepening our relationship and I was thankful that that part had been cut short in some aspects. But mainly it was about the incidence with Dylan.

The book had different point of views. That is how I got to know about Eve's condition and that Emily had also been attacked. My heart broke for Edward and my family. As I read Seth's memories, thought's or whatever as he heard Edward's scream of pain, instantly knowing I was dead. The book ended with them and half Forks standing around my coffin as pastor Weber spoke his lines...

I was numb when I finally finished reading the last book in the middle of the night.

Millions were reading about my life!! My life, what happened to me, my relationship....it all was suddenly a public topic!?!?!

That was ...…..I.....honestly there weren't words to describe this insanity. I was suddenly some sort of celebrity, stripped of the right of privacy in front of everyone who read the Entering Twilight series! A caged animal on display!

Days passed and I was only numb, only functioning. The high fever returned a few times. None could tell why and how it went away as fast as it was taking over my body.

The hype about the love story of Anna and Edward was becoming bigger by the second and the fans were demanding the next book, pissed as hell about my death.

I was feeling like I was losing my mind. Sometimes I would lock myself in my room and laugh like a crazy person before breaking down in tears. I wanted to talk to someone. But who would believe me?

Time passed and I got older. I turned sixteen. The day came and went, time continued to pass indifferent to my pain and suffering.

It was three weeks after my birthday that my family and I went out for a walk in the park. The park in our town was huge and divided into areas separated by a road.

"Honey, how do you think your report card will look like?" My mom asked me. She was always proud that I was good in school.

"Like always mom." I answered in an uninterested voice.

Spending time with my family and studying were the only things that kept me from losing it. That's why my grades where at the top of my class better then ever before.

"Anna you alright?" My mom asked concerned as we walked along the path in the park. It was summer and the summer vacation would begin very soon.

"Sorry mom it's just so hot. You know I don't like it when it's hot."

"I know honey. I will by you ice cream how does that sound." She told me as she came up to me and wrapped her arm around me.

"Sounds great." I smiled at her. It was really unbelievably hot. I felt like I was burning up.

We walked a little more and mom went back to Mic's side. We walked along the road now that separated two areas of the park wanting to cross it.

It is a buys road so we were walking to the cross-walk. I was a little behind my mom and Mic.

"Do you already know which ice cream you want to have?" Mic called over his shoulder.

"Nope, still thinking." I answered.

As I looked up I saw Mic's usually friendly face turn into a mask of horror. Everything went in slow motion then. He suddenly stopped and started screaming something, mentioning with his hands behind me.

I turned around and was able to see something black before it hit me.

A fast pain went through my legs before my body hit something hard and metallic. I rolled over it hitting it with my body a few times before I was thrown through the air and I landed on the ground.

When my body collided with the asphalt on the road it produced the most disgusting cracking sounds I had ever heard.

As the sounds silenced I groaned as a warm, metallic tasting liquid was leaking out of my mouth. As the liquid was leaving my mouth the sounds all around me slowly returned.

The tires of cars were screeching to a halt. People were screaming. I didn't know what happened at first but quickly everything had set itself into the picture.

I was run over by a car.

I couldn't feel my body anymore. There was no pain even the pain in my legs form before was gone and the warm liquid that was leaking out of my mouth was blood.

"Someone call an ambulance."

"Oh my god! What happened."

"Is somebody here a doctor?"

"Anna! Anna? Annaaa,…..no….nooooo….nooooo, please god noooo." I knew that voice that screamed in panic, full of fear and pain. It was my mother.

I could hear the tears in her voice while my body was becoming cold. I found it funny I didn't feel the pain but I did feel the cold.

My mom and Mic were at my side. I knew it because I heard them but I couldn't see right anymore, only their shapes.

"Anna, honey everything will be alright, don't worry. O.K. just...just…... hang on." My mom cried in broken sobbed.

Mic was holding her. He saw what my mom didn't want to see and I knew and felt.

My body was quickly becoming cold that wasn't a good sign. I was dying and I knew it.

With each intake of air it became harder to breath and the sounds around me were becoming more muffled. I could only see light and shadows by now.

I heard my mom cry and say things I didn't understand anymore and Mic comforting her.

In this moment I was glad I spent so much time with my family. At least I could give them some good memories.

They would remember me as happy. I always pretended to be happy around them. I was happy to be with them though the empty whole inside me was also always there but they never knew.

But suddenly the scene before me changed and I was in a room. I couldn't see the room clearly it was too white the light was blinding me.

In the light I could detect some shadows that were becoming clearer. They had the shapes of my mom and Mic. He was comforting my mom again.

But there were more shadows and as I looked more intensive I saw that all the shadows were members of my family.

My mom, my dad, my grandpa, my uncle, my aunt, my cousins and my brother. They all looked shocked, sad and were in different states of grief and disbelieve. They were crying and comforting each other.

Some of them where looking at a…., I couldn't see it really, it looked like a box. A brown box. Looking more closely the sight in front of me got sharper and I could see just what this brown box was…..a coffin.

We were all on a funeral. The room we all were in was a church. I could see it clearly now. But who's funeral was this?

I didn't understand what I saw or how that was even possible. I tried to think but it was so hard to have a straight thought.

"Do you already know which ice cream you want to have?" Mic called over his shoulder.

It snapped me out of my thoughts, noticing I was still in one piece, alive and in the park with my mom and Mic.

My heart hammered in my chest, my breathing was shallow and I was gasping for air. I trembled slightly and fear was ruling my body.

"What?" Was all I could ask as I looked surprised up at Mic, feeling, knowing what was coming. His usually friendly face turned into a mask of horror.

Oh my god the car!!!! Anna get out of the way quick!!!!

What am I going to cook for dinner?

Shit my brakes don't work!?! Shit get out of the way girl!!!

Should I go home to my wife or have a quickie with Lisa?

It's going to hit her.

Shit I'm going to be late!

The voices were screaming loudly in my head. What was that?

I felt fear, horror and panic that weren't mine. They didn't feel like my emotions. Those feeling were forcing themselves on me from the outside. All of it happened in a matter of a split of a second. I didn't think I acted.

Without thinking my legs moved as quickly as they could and I was running to my mom. From behind me I felt something barely brush me before I heard the loud crash.

An impact was made. Metal was deforming and glass was breaking. The noise of an airbag. A scream of a man before it got abruptly cut off.

I run into the embrace of my mom and turned around in her arm that were gripping me tightly to see a black car crushed against a big tree.

My mom gripped my shoulder turning me around again, asking me panicked and in fear.

"Are you alright? Are you O.K.? Oh my god the car nearly…." Tears were streaming down her shocked face and her voice broke a few times.

She pressed me into a tight hug as she cried into my neck. Her sobs shaking the both of us, as the chaos after the accident broke lose.

I was too numb with surprise and fear to be able to recall what happened after my mom started crying.

One thing was for sure my life just got even more chaotic and weird as it was before. Great where was Carlisle when you need him?

And on the top of that it was still so hot. At some point I couldn't take it anymore, I fainted.

XoxoxoxoX

Through my whole summer vacation I was trying to make sense out of what happened on the day of that car accident.

Did I have a sunstroke? I did faint shortly after that. It was unsettling to say at least, seeing things that weren't there or hearing voices in my head or feeling things that I didn't feel.

Was I that far gone that I hallucinate things? The abilities that I experienced were the ones from Edward, Alice and Jasper.

But how could that be?

Well, I had a theory about how all of this could have been possible but that just couldn't have been.

At some point I decided to just wait and see if such an incident would repeat itself before I jumped the gun. But if it did and what I thought was happing then I was in a lot of trouble.

I spend the summer with my mom, Mic and my little brother at my grandparents place. They lived across the country and we only visited them during vacation.

We were spending a lot time at our vacation house in the mountains it was only an hour away from my grandparents town house.

My grandparents, my mom and my uncle build it together and it was the family vacation house. It was great there as I was a kid but as a teeny there wasn't much to do for me there.

I spend most of my time inside avoiding the sun. I was spending a lot time with my aunt who was doing the same, getting made fun off by my uncle and Mic for doing so, hanging out with my mom and grandpa and playing shooting games on the computer with my cousins and brother.

The time with my family was great and it made me forget the throbbing pain in my chest for a few moments.

***

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us honey?" My mom asked me as I stood in the kitchen pouring myself a glass of milk.

"Yes, I am sure. That's just not my cup of tea."

"You don't know what you are talking about." She glared at me playfully.

"Sure whatever you say grandma." I teased her back.

I was a perfect actress now. I should get an Oscar for my performance of a happy teenager. I had always been good at hiding my feelings and now I was perfect at it.

"You take that back instantly young lady." Now she wasn't as playful anymore.

"Don't try to drag me off to this grandma music....festival or whatever and I don't." I shrugged while sipping at my milk.

"Actually if I think about it, don't listen to it at all."

"Oh, what have I done wrong..... no sense for beautiful music?" Mom was shaking her head sadly.

Honestly I did like some oldies but what she was listening to was just far beyond everything that was remotely endurable.

I gave her an incredulous look walking to stand right in front of her putting my hand on her shoulder.

"It's so sad having to admit to myself that there is no hope left for you." I said with grief and sadness in my voice. Mom glared at me.

I loved my relationship with mom. Most of the time we weren't only mother and daughter but also best friends and we could tease and mock each other.

"Are you two done any time soon?" Mic asked as he was watching us from the stairs an amused expression on his face. I was so going to wipe that off his face.

"Who has the better taste in music me or mom?" I asked him, mom and I waiting for his answer while he blanched.

"Oh no. I'm out of this!" He stated firmly. "Wherever you are coming or not. We have to go now if we want to be on time." He told mom as he came down the stairs and pulled her into his embrace.

A sting made itself known in my heart as I remembered how my Vampire used to hold me. How it felt like to be in his arms and filling my lungs with his scent.

"Anna, are you O.K.?" Mic asked as he caught a glance of the pain on my face. I quickly put my happy mask back on.

"Sure though the thought of having to endure the horrible noise is turning my stomach." I quickly covered my faux pas.

Mom rolled her eyes at me before giving me a goodbye kiss and they went off to the "granny" concert.

***

In five days the summer vacation were going to be over and we would have to go back home. We were at my uncle's place and I was finally able to escape my aunt and her way too delicious food.

"I have discovered a new band. Wanna hear something from them?" My older cousin asked.

"Why not." I forced a smile on my face and shrugged.

We went to the computer in the living room where my brother and my younger cousin were playing and switched the thing on, chatting a little while it was coming to life. He went on You tube and clicked on a video.

"Where is the price you won on that science contest?" My aunt called from the main room.

"It's up here wait I bring it to you," my cousin called back.

"I'll be right back," he said and grabbed a piece of paper before heading into the direction of the door.

I looked at the screen and suddenly the video changed from the band I was about to see to a New Moon trailer.

But that was not impossible they were just making arrangements to film Entering Twilight. They didn't even have the whole cast together yet. I heard that the plan was to film Twilight like "Star Wars". If the future episodes with Edward and Anna would be a success they would also film the original series with Edward and Bella as a couple.

All the Twilight trailers and other stuff about Twilight that had been on You tube before I left for the Twilight universe were now gone.

"What…" I was about to ask but as I turned my head I saw my cousin frozen in the doorway.

Just then I noticed that the chatter of my brother and other cousin stopped. Looking at them I saw that they as well were frozen and the ball they were throwing at one another was frozen in the air, floating.

Goose flash formed all over my body as an ice cold rushed sweeped over my frame. Why did strange things keep on happening to me? I swallowed hard and turned back to the screen.

As I did so I, for the first time, recognize the New Moon trailer. It was the same that I had watched that night. The video played out completely before stopping and playing again but only the first eighteen seconds until Bella asked my Edward to kiss her.

Suddenly two windows popped up on the screen. In one was my name and in the other was Bella's behind both a question mark.

Then my body froze and a gasp escaped my mouth, before my eyes two possible futures were playing out. If I clicked on the Bella button or didn't click anything, everything would return to normal.

It would erase the past. I would have never been gone to Forks and I would have never met Edward and the others, never fallen in love.

If I clicked my name the funeral I had seen before the summer vacation back then in the park would take place. My funeral.

But after that there was this feeling. I knew this feeling were well. The joy, happiness and completeness. There was only one place where I could have that...in Edward's arms.

Did that mean that if I died that I would go back into the world where Edward was? I didn't know that. I didn't saw that. There was only this feeling that cloud possibly also have been my wishful thinking.

I could either die or erase everything that Edward and I had. That was so cruel. How could anyone ask this of me, to decide between the love of my life and my family with him and my biological family?

Could I do this? Do this to my parents? Have my mom go through my funeral? It was making me sick just thinking of it.

Everything would be erased even my memories of him and our happy time. My memories and his memories. None here or there would remember.

But that also meant that it would put Edward out of his misery over my death. He wouldn't remember me and be together with Bella.

At that thought my hand flew over my heart, it was shattering in my chest. I had to take a deep breath. It hurt. Alone the mental image hurt.

But it wouldn't hurt once I clicked Bella's window because I wouldn't remember anymore. I would be indifferent about the story. It would only be a story to me like it was before I became a part of it.

It would spare so many people that I loved pain it was the perfect solution.

Tears were streaming down my face as my hand slowly and heavily found it's way to the mouse. While I guided the little white arrow to Bella's window I felt myself dying. My chest was tightening painfully and I wasn't able to breath anymore.

The little white arrow, the little insignificant thing that would end my life and happiness, what ever was left of it, was hovering over the window with Bella's name.

It is the right thing to do. It is the right thing to do. It is the right thing to do. It is the right thing to do. I repeated it over and over...….my finger hovering over the button…ready to click it....but I couldn't.

My heart took over and wouldn't allow me to do what my mind thought was the best solution for everyone involved. I shoved the arrow to the window with my name and clicked on it. As it was done I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I was being selfish and I knew how much I just hurt my mom and the others. I loved them I really did but I couldn't. I just couldn't...… As much the memories hurt, I rather die then lose them. And if there was even the tiniest chance to get back to my Edward I had to take it, no matter what.

But that didn't stop the guilt, at what I had just done to my family and maybe even to Edward by not being able to let go of him, from flooding my every cell.

Was I really going back to the Twilight universe after my death or was I only imagining it. I didn't know. If I was wrong then I just hurt everyone I every loved and cared about for nothing. It was just I couldn't help it but to cling to that tiny piece of hope that I would return at his side.

I heard noises again and quickly tried to compose myself. I got pretty good at pulling myself back together in an instant.

***

"Do we need something else?" My mom asked me as we where on the market.

"Guess not, we have pretty much everything." I told her.

I would die soon. It had been my decision. The choice I had made. I know how selfish I was being. I dammed not only my family here to grief but also my family there and my Edward if I was wrong.

Maybe forgetting me would have been better. Forgetting and having Edward to have that life with Bella. At least he would be happy right now. But after I saw Edward and Bella, Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Steward, kiss....

Never in my life did I fell this territorial, hurt and pissed off before. All my cool got washed away by the jealousy that was ruling my body in that moment.

I could have given them all, my family here and there, a happy life at the cost of the happy times I shared with Edward and our family.

But wouldn't that have been a betrayal? A betrayal on mine and Edward's love? If Edward did this I would have been pissed as hell. None has the right to take away my time with him, my memories, even though they are killing me.

Right and wrong was subjective in this case. I just knew one thing. I could never deny or disguise our love no matter what the cost.

This is why I decided to pull myself together to be at my best behaviour for the sake of my family. That was the last thing I could do for them after what I had done,…was about to do….would happen to me.

"Gifts, delicatessen from this area, yep everything is there unless you want something…"

"No, I have everything." My mom answered me after thinking for a minute.

"Then it's time to go home. I'm tired."

"Let's go then." I nodded and we made our way to the car.

Walking by a jewellery store I stopped short as a beautiful watch caught my eye. I don't know what it was about that watch that was driving me in but I wanted to enter the store.

"Mom," I called after her.

"What is it honey?" Mom asked as she turned around.

"I'm going into the shop." I was pointing at it.

"Right then I will take a quick look into this one." Mom said and disappeared in the boutique.

The sales man took the watch out of the display and showed it to me. I put it on my wrist and admired as it was sparkling in the light.

I heard the door of the shop open and a gasp followed quickly behind.

"Money and jewellery now!" Ordered a man who had a black gun in his hand.

"I said money and jewellery NOW!" he screamed this time throwing a back pack over the counter to the older man who was standing behind it.

The old man looked at the gun with terror in his dark eye, nodding his head furiously in agreement.

The other three customers in the shop were frozen in fear, their hand up in the air. The two women looked like they were going to pass out any second.

"None moves except of you," he looked at the sales man who was shoving the money and the jewellery in the back pack.

The robber had a red hoody on and the hood was pulled deep into his face nearly completely shielding it from the view of others.

"Hurry up damn it." The robber growled and was waving with his gun from one person to the other. I couldn't suppress the quiet sigh. Didn't I have enough adventure for a lifetime already?

I know I should have been scared to death like everyone else in the store but I just couldn't find it in me to care.

But who can blame after everything I went through? The travel into another universe, the time difference, two car accidents, a sadistic Vampire, young Werewolves and a crazy psycho, the whole incident before summer vacation and whatever happened at my uncles place. I kind of only felt like….hey now there is even armed robbery on that list.

The question here was would I survive this armed robbery or was this here it, since I was set up to die soon anyway. I wished to have more time with my mom now that I might was to face my end but life isn't a fairytale.

A single, silent tear run down my face thinking about what I might was putting my mom through in a few moments. I was sad and upset with myself about the fact that I would cause her so much distress.

While I was apologizing over and over in my head for my selfishness and praying for my mom and family here I heard the door of the store open again and a shot rang through the air of the small space.

Screams erupted out of the two females throats as I heard the robber curse loudly and I saw him run out of the store.

A warm liquid that tasted disgustingly metallic and rusty was climbing up my throat into my mouth. One of the women was looking at me her eyes wide in horror.

It was hard to breath and the sounds around me started to disappear like someone was turning the volume of the radio down.

Before I knew it I was lying on the cold, hard floor of the jewellery store. The old sales man hovered over me looking panicked and helpless.

The bullet hit me. Only them the fact registered in my mind. Blood was running out of my mouth and I had the feeling I wasn't going to survive this one.

I was lying on the cold ground while the people around me panicked. I could hear my heart beating loudly and painfully in my ears as I willed myself to think about something nice because every intake of air sent a sting of pain through my frame. My lungs felt like they were about to explode.

I did though briefly about all the Christmas that I had in this world, about the summers that I spend in my family summer house in the mountains, about when my mom was throwing a fit again and it was just too funny to watch, about every single time Mic made a sex joke and mom didn't get it.

I was about to lose a lot. More then I ever thought possible. I loved them all so much but here wasn't my place anymore. I just didn't belong in this world anymore.

"I'm sorry." I coughed out, nearly choking on my own blood.

"What? What did you say?" Someone asked me. This person was hovering closely over me but I wasn't able to respond.

All I had left in this moment was the grief about my choice and the loss that was related to it and the little fragment of hope that my dearest wish would come true.

Please, please, please, please, .... I was chanting in my head as I felt deeper into the blackness that was swallowing me.

As my last breath was taken my life on the planet where it began found an end, leaving the ones that loved me and cared for me behind in grief and closure.