ch6: soulless monster?

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Edward's POV:

"Alien?"

She is really something else. I only spent an afternoon with her and she isn't going out of my head.

Why doesn't she react like she should?

To us being Vampires.

To her being stuck in another world.

I would really love to know what she is thinking about all of this.

Why can't I read her mind?

Now here is a mind interesting enough to capture me and I can't read it. I don't know if I should call her brave or delusional for choosing a Vampire as a friend.

A friend why does that bother me and what more not in the way I would have expected it to, it is as if it wasn't right in a way or…..or enough but why then….how…..oh god what is this girl doing to me?

After discussing the situation, we all agreed to see how it all would play out, since Anna didn't tell anyone about us till now, we all met her and Alice saw that she would keep our secret safe it was decided to trust her, much to Rosalie's dismay.

After Anna told my family that I was supposed to fall in love with Bella Swan my other singer Esme's eyes lit up like a fireworks. I was expecting to be assaulted with questions and expectations from her regarding my so called girlfriend but she did not say a word about it or even thought of it. I should be suspicious in that department but guess it is best if I let it slip.

Alice couldn't wait for after Christmas break to go shopping with Anna and to become officially her best friend.

Friends that word was so hard to comprehend for me right now, she wanted to be friends with me.

Me, the monster that wants to kill her for her blood, I had to make her see reason and I would.

It had been only a few hours since I dropped at her house, she could be still awake. Without further thinking I took of to Anna's house and arrived there quickly only to see that the lights were already out. I was just about to turn around and leave when I instead climbed up to her bed room.

The window was open and it was easy to get in. Her delicious scent hit me full force, making my throat go up in flames, the monster shaking dangerously at his cage but I had him under control.

The training really helped but did she even know what a risk that was. Exposing me to her delicious scent while I was so near.

It was madness. I still don't know how I manage not to kill her.

I sat down in the love seat at the window just breathing in her scent when I heard her sit up and asking.

"Edward what are you doing here?"

Anna's POV:

"Edward what are you doing here?" I asked him as I saw him sitting in my love seat at the window. He stood up and prepared himself for a speech it seemed.

Oh joy, the I'm a monster with no soul and I'm too dangerous to be your friend speech at 11 o'clock. Alright you wanted it that way make yourself ready to lose Mr. Vampire.

"Anna you have to understand I'm a monster, a Vampire and you are my singer. It's way to dangerous for you."

"O.K. I understand." I said and he looked in disbelieve at me for a while, while I looked him straight in the eye. There he saw my determination and understanding, too bad for him he couldn't read my mind or else he would have know what he was getting himself in to.

He thought he drove his point home and looked reviled and a little disappointed?

He turned to the window and was about to leave when I attacked.

"Why haven't you killed me by now?"

"What?" He turned around in shock, disbelieve in his face at what I asked.

"Well aren't you the one who keeps on telling me that you are a dangerous monster and that you want to kill me, so why haven't you. If you really were only a bloodthirsty monster, you would have killed me the first moment you smelled me instead fighting to keep me alive, safe and sound."

That hit him like a wicked curveball he was standing there his mouth hanging open, not able to believe what I said.

"If you are only a bloodthirsty monster with no soul then why don't you kill me now. Your throat must be burning and the desire for my blood must be unbearable so why don't you take it?"

At that he got angry and glared murderously at me before he spat fervently.

"Because I don't want to be a monster, I don't want to take your life. I want you to live because that is right, keeping you alive is the right thing to do." He said exactly what I wanted I kept true to my role sighed and said.

"Some kind of a bloodthirsty soulless monster you are, with a conscience and morals. You know on these terms you are not qualified to call yourself a bloodthirsty soulless monster."

He looked at me with his mouth hanging open and rubbing his temples as if I was giving him a headache, I only smiled warmly at him made myself comfortable in my bed and continued.

"Edward look monster aren't defined by a species but after the decisions we make and the actions we take. Even when you had your rebellious stage, doubting everything, even then you didn't kill innocence people but only murderer and rapists and even for taking there lives you felt remorse and guilt. Why would a monster feel remorse and guilt?

Edward if you were truly only a bloodthirsty monster with no soul, it wouldn't matter to you who you kill you would just do it. But it does matter to you. You are fighting your nature because you don't want to be a monster, right and wrong does matter to you, just like the lives of other people. You can go on calling yourself a monster and live in denial but please stop feeding me that crap I'm not buying it one second."

I gave him a moment to process everything before asking him.

"Edward what is more difficult for you to restrain yourself from killing me or having to deal with the fact that I trust you and that I'm laying my life in your hands?"

Pain was visible in his face now as he asked me.

"How? What makes you have faith in me despite knowing everything about what I am and what I did?"

"Who!"

He looked at me questioningly so I explained.

"I believe in who you are Edward in the part of you that got angry with me when I asked you to kill me. In the part of you that don't want to be a monster that don't want to kill people. In the part of you that chose to be a Cullen."

He looked at the ground his head in his hands, just like a little lost puppy, so I stood up walked to him took his face in my hands and brought it to mine, looking directly into his topaz pools before I said.

"Face it Edward you are not a monster, you are what I said a man oh wait let me correct that a boy that happens to be a Vampire, sorry to burst your bubble but it's about time that you grow up and face reality. You are only a bloodthirsty monster when you give in into that desire you have and don't feel remorse and guilt for doing so, if you are not capable of doing that then you have no right to call yourself a monster, sorry."

He looked at me stunned and I went back to bed said good night to him before I hit my pillow and letting him deal with this on his own. He does have a few days to think it over.

Christmas was nice nice. Kevin and I we went to Seattle, to a good friend of his, Matt, the first one he made as he came to the USA. Matt's family was big, they were all friendly and nice but seeing this people together enjoying Christmas made me miss my family even more. I was wondering if I would see them ever again.

Every night when I went to sleep I was thinking about my parents and hoping that my thinking of them and wishing to be back would actually bring me back but it doesn't work.

During Christmas Alice called me every day we are really becoming good friends for that I'm grateful at least I have someone to talk to. She is really a treasure.

As I received my Christmas present from Kevin I was grateful and reviled that I had this driving lesson with Alice and the others because he gave me a car for Christmas. It was a dark blue Audi TTRS Roadstar the car was five years old it was perfect for me. He handed me the keys in a box and a picture of the car that was back in Forks waiting for me.

While being away for the three days I have been thinking about a lot of things. I was running over the conversation I had with Edward when he entered my bedroom, I hoped it made him think things over. If not I got more where that came from.

I also thought about my family and how much I missed them, wondering why and how exactly I landed here for about the millions time. I wondered if I would ever see them again. Did they know that I was missing or had their memory of me been erased of me? I was hoping for the later as much as it pained me to be forgotten by my family I didn't want them to suffer, to have to live with not knowing what happened to me.

I still hoped I could go back, I really wanted to see my family again but I was slowly arranging myself with the thought that I maybe was stuck here forever.

What I also wondered about was what an impact my being here would have on the story. After a few hours of wondering I was still undecided what to do, guess I would just wait and see but there was one thing I was sure about. I wanted to tell Alice about her past myself I found it so sad the way she found out in the books.

When we arrived back in Forks it was late what mean that I would have to wait till morning to take a better look at my first car. I woke up early in the morning, jumped out of bed happily but reminded myself to be quiet because Kevin was still asleep, I took a quick shower, dressed, did my make-up and hair and ate my apple, I'm not a big breakfast eater. I couldn't wait to inspect my new car though I would have to ask Alice for some more driving lessons before actually driving it. Luckily I had winter break for that.

I put my jacket on, grabbed the keys of the car, went to the front door, opened it and was surprised when a certain Vampire stood there smiling smug at me.

"Good morning Anna I hope you a pleasant Christmas." Edward greeted me.

"Good morning you too and yes thank you Christmas was nice. I hope you all had a pleasant Christmas too." I answered him wondering why he was here.

"If you wonder why I'm here well…" He looked at my car now. "Alice has told me to get you she would like to give you some more driving lessons. She and Emmett are already waiting for us. You need some more driving lessons before diving the car on your own remotely safe." He said the last part in a serious tone.

"Yes, I know thanks for doing this for me." I was moving in his direction when I suddenly remembered. "Oh, wait a sec I have to leave a message for Kevin so he won't worry. I'll be right back." I went into the house and wrote a note to Kevin that I was out with friends.

In the little time I spent with him I learnt that he is rather laid back and let me do pretty much my own thing.

Outside Edward waited for me at his car and I got in we drove off. We drove to the place were I had my first lessons Alice and Emmett were already waiting with the Land Rover and she had me in a tight hug before I could get out of the Volvo.

"Hi, Alice, I missed you too. Hi, Emmett." Emmett waved at me in respond with a huge grin on his face.

"Hi, Anna. We so have to shopping on this weekend you are going shopping with me if you want it or not. With that said let's get you behind the wheel." Alice chirped happily.

"Shopping on the weekend got it." I answered her.

"O.K. you tow let's get started." Boomed Emmett and we started my second driving lesson. I was driving for about three hours and practicing parking before we called it a day and went to their place.

Esme greeted me warmly as I entered their mansion and we had a little chat as I drank my hot tea before Alice dragged me off to her room to give me a makeover. I knew she was itching to get her hands at me to be able to play Anna Barbie with me. I thought it would be best to let her have some fun before dropping the bomb of her past on her.

When Alice was finished with playing Anna Barbie I gather my courage and thoughts, took a deep breath, turned around to face her and said.

"Mmmm...Alice there is something I have to tell you. It's about your past."

She stood perfectly still and looked at me with large eyes.

"You....you….know about my past?" She stammered, she looked excided and stunned, I only nodded.

Jasper was in the room before I knew it, standing next to Alice wrapping an arm around her shoulders, the others were also all in the room by now.

"Tell me." Alice breathed impatient.

"O.K. do you want us to be alone or only with Jasper or with your whole family?" I asked her.

Alice considered it and said.

"With the whole family. We should go down into the living room there is more room for all of us." She said and we made our way to the living room, took our places and I waited for Alice to give me a sign that she was ready. She smiled at me she couldn't wait to hear about her past.

"Your human name was Mary Alice Brandon you lived in Biloxi that is somewhere in the area of the Mississippi. You were born 1901 and you were 19 years old when you were turned. Your parents put you in a mental asylum because of your ability to predict things. There was an old Vampire in the asylum he worked there, I don't know his name but he liked you, you tow were friends.

One day another Vampire his name is James came along and he wanted your blood. The old Vampire defended you but he knew James wouldn't give up so he saved you in the only way he could. He changed you and when James came back and saw that you were becoming a Vampire he killed the old Vampire out of anger. That's why you woke up all alone, I'm sorry.

You had a little sister her name was Cynthia and I think there still should be the daughter of your little sister in Biloxi, if I'm not completely mistaken."

Everyone was silent and thoughtful processing what I had told them. I could see that Jasper was trying to hide his anger. The knowledge that someone tried to harm his Alice didn't sit well with him. James will have quite a problem I don't think anyone will be able to stop Jasper from killing him.

After getting to know about her past Alice wanted to be alone with Jasper. We were all worried about her but a few days later she was her cheerful self again. She told me that when I first told her, she was very sad about the fact that her family put her in that mental asylum but after she thought about it she couldn't be sad about it anymore, because if she wouldn't have been there she wouldn't have become a Vampire and she wouldn't have met Jasper or the Cullen's. Alice told me after realizing this she couldn't be sad about it or angry at her family anymore. She would investigate about her family and her past more but thankfully without hard feelings. She told me that knowing her past as bad as it was did give her a piece of mind and that she finally found closure to her unanswered questions.

I was just happy she was alright again.

The rest of winter break went by quickly I had more driving lessons from Emmett, Alice and Edward.

Edward wasn't really talkative he didn't bring our conversation from that one night up and I wasn't going to push him. I knew that he would talk when he was ready.

Carlisle started telling me stories about his past and I also spent some time with Esme. All the while Rosalie was sending me death glares.

I guess I will have to have a word with her.