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Whut is da DAKKA and how much is too much.

WH 40k and Fantasy(small part) Fanfiction Football hooligan died during the fight with the police and other team hooligans and reincarnated in WH40k as an Ork. Dumb humor, racism(puny xeno, stupid ummies etc), and bad grammar. You have been warned. Enjoy The cover is not mine, I only added text in Paint

saszeta · ゲーム
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47 Chs

Back to the party!

A zogging lot of time had passed in da warp. Too much time without anything to krump, and the boyz were getting restless. A few mutinies broke out, but the Nobs crushed each one easily. The boredom even got to the Boss, who ripped out so many hairsquigs from his head that he went bald a few times. This caused no end of stress for Doc Kidller, who decided to whip up some medicine using that weird green blob he'd caught once. The mushroom beer that came out of it? Strong. Real strong. Even the Boss was happy for a bit.

The ones who loved the beer the most were the Speed Freeks, who discovered that the stuff acted like a super boost for their trukks. Problem was, there was only enough beer for one trukk. So, in true Orky fashion, they democratically voted on who should get it—by giving it to the fastest ork. They raced for three days straight, nearly tearing the Deef Star in half when one trukk crashed into a stockpile of ammo and fuel. But the Deef Star survived, and the Boss got a few new heads (and a couple of balls) to play with Lob.

But, as they say, every zoggin' boring time of peace eventually comes to an end. One day, while the Boss was wandering around the bridge (formerly the bridge of some puny blue boyz, now his asteroid's command center), he spotted a red light flashing. An Ork was sleeping nearby, hammer in hand, having apparently smashed a radio station speaker. How did the Boss know it was a radio station? He had no idea, but he didn't care.

With a quick telepathic shout, he summoned Graxmek. "Oi, GRAXMEK! Get 'ere, ya git!" The shout was so loud that stones fell from the ceiling. Graxmek came running, and after some inspection, confirmed what the Boss suspected—it was indeed a radio station. He could fix it, no problem. Turned out, all it needed was a lightbulb. Stoopid blue boyz had forgotten to install one, which was why it hadn't worked.

Once Graxmek got it running, they immediately started picking up distress signals from the puny blue boyz. Calls for reinforcement blared through the radio. For the Boss, this meant only one thing—there was a fight happening, and he wasn't part of it. Unacceptable!

Without hesitation, the Boss set a course for the loudest transmission and slammed his fist on the big red button. The Deef Star's engines roared to life, flames exploding from the back and giving it more speed than ever before.

"Graxmek, get da boyz ready! Wez got a foight comin' up, and wez gonna show 'em wot happens when ya don't invite us to da party!" the Boss bellowed, taking the helm with a mad grin. The cries for help on the radio were getting louder, which meant they were getting closer.

Graxmek, not wasting any time, rushed to alert the crew. The news spread like wildfire, bringing the Orks to life. Cheers erupted as they began sharpening their choppas and loading up their shootas.

On the bridge, Zorko, Maourk, Yodark, and the new Nob, Trakk—the one who'd won the race for the beer—gathered around the Boss, watching as he drove the ship like a crazed ork.

"What's got into the Boss?" Maourk asked, scratching his head.

"It's Orktober," Yodark replied, sparks of green energy flickering around his head. "And we're late! We need more fights before it's over!"

"Whatever ya say, Yodark," Zorko muttered. "Just don't zap us again. Last time ya zapped me, I had to peel me armor off me own ass—with me ass!"

Suddenly, they felt a jolt as something collided with the asteroid. The Boss rushed to the window, rolled it down, and shouted at a passing ship, "Oi, watch how ya fly! Ya scratched me paint job, ya grot-splattered git!"

"We better find him something to krump, or he's gonna krump us," Maourk grumbled.

As the Deef Star tore its way out of the warp, the Orks beheld a glorious sight—an entire planet, surrounded by blue boyz' ships, under attack by some other fleet.

The Boss, seeing an opportunity for some mischief, came up with a plan. The blue boyz were busy on the far side of the planet, fighting off the attackers. So, instead of joining in, the Boss would take the planet for himself. It would be a great prank on the blue boyz—and he'd get to loot everything while the other gits were distracted. Win-win!

One problem though—he suddenly remembered they didn't have a proper landing plan.

I am back for orktober, later but here I am.

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