Haunted Past

" I loved him," Is all I can choke out.

Those words might just be the only truth that has passed my lips.

The words aren't as sweet as I thought they would be, instead it leaves a strong bitter note. I force my gaze to reach Ms.Tangs, her eyes seem to search mine looking for some kind of answer. I can feel each second passing as Ms.Tangs silver flecked eyes bore into mine. I feel my palms begin to sweat as the tension of the room thickens to a creamy soup. Ms.Tang frowns and looks away gazing out the window at the busy early morning buzz of the city below. I can see a slight crease forming across her forehead I can only wonder whats going through her head. She tucks some loose strands of shoulder length hair behind her ear turning to me.

A look puzzlement is strewn across her face all she says is,"Why?"

Why, the word seemed to echo in my head. Why. I could say that to so many of my life decisions. Why, didn't you run. Why, didn't you listen. Why, didn't you agree. Why? I looked at her sitting across from me, so blissfully unaware of the horrors that surround her. I smile.

"Why, what?"

She frowns emotions I couldn't put my finger over cloud her eyes," If you loved him, she takes a pause and meets my open stare,"why did you kill him."

I jolt backwards, cold icy water flooding through my veins. The tsunami of emotions I had keep under lock and key for so long were coming to the surface. The pain, the anger, the jealousy. I wanted to scream. Kill. Kill. You can never change. Dead. Dead. So much blood, too much blood.

"STOP!" I screamed my voice raw and scratchy tears streaming down my face.

I've changed. I'm different. I whisper fending off the darkness rising inside me. The words are like the light in the dark. The more I repeat the more the light brightens bringing me out of the darkness.

Ms. Tang is staring at me bewildered and on edge by my outbursts. Her eyes seem to cut into me burning the words killer on my skin. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"I didn't kill him."