Devil 59: Her Past

Zero's Pov

As of now, I really can't believe for what I've learned about her past.

Hindi ko lubos maisip na ang tulad nya ay may ganoong katinding karanasan. Now I understand kung bakit ganun nalang ang ugali nya nung una ko syang makilala.

Bahagya akong kumalas sa pagkakayakap kay Salamander at tinitigan siya sa mata.

"Promise me, that you'll never leave me Ally." Saad ko.

Malamlam ang mga matang napangiti siya.

"I'm the one who's afraid you might leave me, Natsu." Aniya.

"No! I won't do that." Mariing tanggi ko.

"You're my Salamander. Kung wala ka wala rin si Natsu. So promise me that whatever happens you'll never leave me." Dagdag ko.

"I promise I won't leave you, Natsu."

Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya at muling tinawid ang pagitan ng mga labi naming dalawa.

At habang nilalasap ko ang tamis ng aming halik ay muling nagbalik sa isip ko ang mga nangyari.

Flashback...

Kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap sa kanya at bahagya siyang binuhat at pinaupo sa kandungan ko in a bridal position dahil medyo malamig ang stone at baka kabagin sya.

I looked at her and said seriously. "Well then, tell me. Who are you Jack? The real you?"

Bahagya siyang natigilan at napatitig sakin na para bang tinatanya nya kung kakayanin ko ba ang mga sasabihin nya.

Napapikit siya at humugot ng malalim na hininga saka muling tumitig sakin.

"I'm a devil."

Napataas ang kilay ko at hinintay ang susunod nyang sasabihin.

"And..?" Tanong ko.

Nagkibit balikat lang sya at sumagot.

"That's it. I'm a devil." Aniya.

"What..? C'mon Jack. I know from the very start that you're a devil." Natatawang turan ko.

Natawa rin siya sa sinabi ko. Ngunit maya maya lang ay sumeryoso na ang mukha nya.

"My real name is Allyna." Panimula niya.

Allyna? That's a cute name and it's suits her.

"At least that's what I can remember about my past."

"Wait..what? About your past? You mean..?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.

Napangiti siya ng mapait.

"Yes. I lost my memories. Everything about me was unknown. Who am I. What am I? Do I have a family. Does my parents still alive? Everything was unknown. And nobody can tell me about it." Aniyang napatitig sakin.

Ngayon palang ay hindi ko na mapigilan ang mahabag sa nalaman ko.

And I felt ashamed for always arguing with my brothers and sister even my parents for over protecting me while Jack's on the other hand was nobody that she can leaned on?

"All I can remember was..." Napalunok siya at waring nag aalinlangan sa sasabihin.

"It's alright. I wanted to know about you Jack. I won't judge you. I just wanted to know who you are or what you remember about yourself." I said as I caress her back.

Napakagat labi siya saka nagpatuloy.

"All I can remember was... I woke up in glass tube full of ice with a syringe and other metal experiments injected in my frozen body."

Natigagal ako sa narinig. Napakunot noo ako at parang hindi maprocess ng utak ko ang sinabi niya. What does she mean by that? Syringe? Metal experiments? Frozen body?

Ngunit nagpatuloy siya sa pagsasalita.

"Yes. I was a human subject for a mutant experimentation of Russian private facilities. They implanted something inside me which they called Wargon. And it's very dangerous in all humankind. It was said a combination of a werewolf woman and a knight vampire way back 500 years ago. And if I can't control it. It will control me. Just like what happened when I first woke up in a daze, lost in control. And all I want to do was...kill everything." Seryosong kwento niya.

Hindi ko masasabing nagbibiro siya dahil bakas sa mukha niya ang pait at pangit na karanasan. Hindi ako makapagsalita. Pakiramdam ko ay maiiyak ako kapag nagsalita ako.

"And the moment that I escaped that glass tube. I killed someone. He was a scientist who mastered on experimenting me. After I killed him I felt conscious and afraid for knowing what I did. Somebody tamed me and explained to me what was just happened. But none of those explainations I understood. I was young and afraid..." Napakagat labi siya at napayuko.

"After that day I experienced several experiments for me to understand what's the current situation I am in. Well, that's what they said. They said that I'm special. I'm no ordinary human and they're just enhancing my skills. But later on, I learned that they killing innocent people for me to work. They made me mutant. A mutant army that nobody can match. And because of that experiments. I lost my senses. I can't see. I can't hear. I can't feel any pain. I can't taste any food. I can't smell anything. I thought I'm not human anymore." She pause and sniff.

Naalarma ako nang makita ang mga luha niya. Subalit para akong natuod at di na makagalaw sa mga nalaman.

But she still continue her story.

"They soon made some gadgets which I can use for my alternative senses. And they still proceeded with their experiments. Soon I realized that I gained power for numerous metals and chemicals they injected in me. My body was frozen. And none of my organs were functioning. But I'm still alive because of my power. And that was my bead."

She paused at tumingin sa kanyang dibdib. Marahan niyang hinawakan ang dibdib niya at nagulat pa ako nang mula rito ay may kung anong liwanag ang lumabas.

Mukha itong bolang apoy na kulay green. I can't believe I'm seeing something like this and to think that it's just popped out from Jack's chest.

She holds it in her hand.

"This is my source of life. Without this. I'm not capable of anything." Aniya at umalis sa kandungan ko. Tumayo siya sa harap ko at kinuha ang mga kamay ko.

Naalarma pa ako nang ilipat niya sa kamay ko ang green na bolang apoy. Akala ko ay mapapaso ako ngunit hindi naman pala ito mainit kundi malamig. Kasing lamig ni Jack nung una ko syang angkinin.

So ibig bang sabihin? Ito rin ang dahilan kung bakit cold ang katawan nya?

Napatingin ako kay Jack. At napanganga pa ako nang makitang naging kulay abo ang mga mata niya.

Nagmistula siyang bulag sa harap ko.

Bahagya ko siyang hinawakan ngunit mukhang hindi nya iyon naramdaman.

"S-salamander..?" Tawag ko sa kanya ngunit parang hindi niya ako naririnig.

I wave my hand on her face ngunit wala siyang reaction.

Napatingin ako sa hawak ko at kay Jack. Kinakabahan ako na baka kung mapano si Jack.

Ngunit hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Subalit naisip ko na baka magwork out ito kapag itinapat ko sa dibdib nya dahil dun nya naman ito kinuha kanina.

Nang ilapit ko sa dibdib niya ang bolang apoy ay para itong may sariling buhay na lumubog sa katawan ni Jack.

At dun naman waring natauhan si Jack at bumalik sa katinuan.

Nagbalik sa dati ang mga mata nya at napakurap pa siya saka tumingin sakin.

Hindi ako makapaniwala sa nasaksihan.

To think na nahawakan ko pa ang bagay na iyon.

"Are you scared of me?" Aniya na nakatitig sakin.

Am I? Am I scared of her? She's not ordinary I should be scared of her.

But why??

Why can't I feel any fear from her? But instead, I feel sympathy, cares and love??

Sandali akong natulala ngunit marahan ko siyang hinawakan sa kamay at muling pinaupo sa kandungan ko.

"No." Sagot ko.

Bahagya siyang napangiti sa sagot ko.

"Do you still love me?" Tanong niya.

Napapikit ako at pinagdikit ang mga noo namin.

"How can I not love you. Ngayon pang nalaman ko na extraordinary ang girlfriend ko?" Medyo natatawang turan ko ngunit nasundan iyon ng mga luha.

Luha ng habag at awa sa mga naranasan niya.

Hindi ko akalain na ang tulad nyang cold, nakakaasar, at palaging naninira ng araw ko noon ay may ganoong karanasan.

Parang gusto ko tuloy bugbugin ang sarili ko sa mga nasabi at nagawa kong masama sa kanya.

Kaya ba sobra ang pag-aalala sa kanya ni Shane noong umagang iyon na inasar ko pa sya at dun nya ako unang tinawag na Natsu, dahil hindi sya nakakakita noon? Pero paano syang nakapagmotor nun? Paano kung nadisgrasya sya nun? Now I undertand why Shane was agitated that time.

At kaya ba hindi nya ako pinapansin noong pinapaalis ko sya sa upuan ko? Akala ko nang-aasar lang sya nun. Yun pala totoong hindi nya ako naririnig nun?

"I'm sorry Jack. For everything I did to you. I didn't know about your past but I feel guilty for everything I did. I'm sorry." Saad ko.

"Sshh.. You don't have to apologise. You're not at fault. I was teasing you back then. But I'm thankful to you, Natsu."

Saglit akong natigilan at napatingin sa kanya.

Marahan niyang pinahid ang mga luha ko.

"Because of you. Unti unti kong naramdaman na tao parin pala ako. I discovered some emotions and reactions whenever I'm with you. Either we're quarilling, teasing, mocking or insulting each other. And most importantly..." She held my hand and place it in her chest right next to her heart.

"...You made this frozen heart to melt... and beat again." Aniyang masayang ngumiti.

Napalunok ako at di makapaniwala sa nalaman.

"R-really?"

Sunod sunod siyang napatango.

"When I'm being with you I realized that I can control myself. Just by thinking of you I can ease my anger and prevent the wargon to take control me." Aniya.

"This wargon thing. What is it? Is it some kind of an animal or anything?" Naguguluhang tanong ko.

"It's a ferocious beast that I don't want you to see. It has a power of vampire and werewolf. It doesn't care of anything. And it was ferocious in all humankind. It triggers in heat but sleeping in cold. That's why I need to be cool every possible way."

"But we're here in the beach and it's hot and-!" Tarantang saad ko. Hindi ko alam na pwede palang manganib ang buhay namin anumang sandali kapag nagising ang mabangis na hayup na sinasabi niya.

"Don't worry. I have my vitamin which is called wargon blood that contains chemicals and a pure blood of wargon that restraints the wargon itself to wake up." Aniya.

Parang hindi parin nadadigest sa utak ko ang mga sinabi niya.

I never thought that she really is a devil. I mean there really is a devil living inside her.

"Who else knew about this? About everything you say?" Tanong ko.

"It's James, Andy, Jichell and some other scientist that kind enough to treat my condition."

"Then..what about them? Are they mutant too?" Curious na tanong ko.

"Well, James and Andy are pure human being. They're just helping me to cure this illness of mine. But Jichell is a cyborg."

Napatda ako sa nalaman.

"What? Si Jichell? Cyborg? Hindi sya tao? As in pure cyborg ba sya o tulad mo rin na dati syang tao pero enexperiment lang?" Sunod sunod na tanong ko.

"Yes. She was a human. But now she's just a cyborg acting like a human. Her brain and heart was still intact but she has a new installed electronic organs that's why she was able to eat and drinks."

"Oh my! Just who the heck are those scientists that made you and her to be like this?" Galit sa turan ko. Parang gusto kong lusubin ang kung ano mang laboratories ng mga baliw na scienctist na gumawa nito sa kanila at pasabugin ang mga pasilidad nila.

Bahagya siyang natawa sa tinuran ko.

"Jichell and I are different. I was force to be a monster while she made her choice to be a robot. And the scientist who made us was also a different person."

Ilang sandali pa akong nakatingin lang sa kanya habang nagkukwento sya ngunit hindi ko na napigilang yakapin sya na para bang gusto kong iparating sa kanya at ipadama na anuman ang mga naranasan nya ay hindi na ito mangyayari pang muli.

"And there's one more thing about my power that I used for everyone around me for them not to remember a particular event which has something to do with my condition." Aniyang bahagyang kumalas sa yakap ko.

"What is it?" Takang tanong ko.

Napabuntong hininga siya.

"I want to say sorry in advance but I only did that for us to be safe." Aniyang medyo nag aalangan.

"What do you mean?" Kinakabahang tanong ko.

"One thing I can do with my power is... I can erase someone's memory for some particular events that I don't want them to remember but I can bring it back again." Aniya.

Napataas ang kilay ko sa nalaman.

Bakit may pakiramdam ako na ako ang unang ginamitan nya ng kapangyarihang iyon?

"T-then, did you used it with me?" I said nervously.

Pero anong klaseng memories ang tinanggal nya sakin kung sakali man?

I can still remember my experienced from childhood up to now.

"Uhh, yeah." Atubiling sagot niya.

"What? B-but, what kind of memories is that?" Aligagang tanong ko.

"It's just some bad memories that happened when you're with me. It was the first time I almost transformed into wargon when your life was in dangered. I can't control myself from anger back then and I killed those humans that harassed you."

Napatda ako sa narinig.

May ganung pangyayari na nangyari sa buhay ko??!!

What the....?!

"C-can you show it to me? That memories? I want to know. I want it back." Saad ko dahil gusto kong malaman ang lahat ng nangyari.

"No, Natsu I won't. I told you it's all bad me-!"

"Please..?" Pakiusap na anas ko.

Natigilan siya at napabuntong hininga.

Hinaplos niya ang pisngi ko saka ako niyakap.

"I'm just...afraid that you would freak out again when you remember it. I'm afraid you'll leave me." Malungkot na saad niya habang nakalubog ang mukha sa leeg ko.

What does she mean? Did I freaked out and scared of her the first time I saw her tranformed? Kaya ba natatakot siyang makita ko ulit iyon?

Napapikit ako ng mariin at inisip na malamang na nangyari nga iyon. Dahil kilala ko ang sarili ko. At hindi lang ako nagulat o natakot baka may mga nasabi pa akong hindi maganda sa kanya.

"Tell me, I want to know what I did that time. I want to know my first reactions. But I promise that whatever I did before it will never happen again. I'm not leaving you Salamander." Saad ko habang hinahaplos ang likod nya.

Kumalas siya sakin saka napangiti.

She cupped my face and slowly kiss my lips. I gladly return the favor and kiss her too when suddenly a series of lost memories flowed in my brain.

All the lost memories that I didn't know already happened to me and to my friends.

From the first transformation of Jack and to the latest events that once killed me.

I can't believe everything I've learned. I can't believe that I died and revive again. I can't believe that my friends we're put in dangered and saw me died.

I can't believe anything at all.

I gasp for an air after those memories came back to me.

"Hah! Hah!!" Hingal na hingal ako na parang hinabol ako ng kung ano.

Nag-alala naman si Jack at hindi alam kung hahawakan ba ako o ano. Umalis siya sa kandungan ko at bahagyang lumayo sakin.

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko habang hinihingal.

"Natsu...I..I'm sorry." Umiiyak na saad niya.

Napatingin ako sa kanya at halata ang takot at pagsisisi sa hitsura niya.

Napahinga ako ng malalim at kinalma ang sarili ko.

Ilang sandali pa ay naging maayos na ang paghinga ko.

Napatingin akong muli sa kanya. Mas malayo na siya sakin ngayon dahil siguro akala niya ay pagtatabuyan ko ulit sya gaya ng una kong ginawa sa kanya.

Sa totoo lang, gusto kong saktan ang sarili ko sa ginawa kong iyon.

How the hell did I do that to her!!

"Salamander.." I said as I extended my hand to reach her.

"Come here, bakit ka lumayo sakin? Ako dapat ang gumagawa nyan." Sabi ko saka bahagyang natawa.

Nang abutin niya ang kamay ko ay mabilis ko siyang hinila at niyakap ng mahigpit.

Bahagya siyang nagulat sa ginawa ko ngunit gumanti rin siya ng yakap.

"I'm sorry.." Saad ko habang inaalala ang mga nangyari.

"I'm sorry sa lahat ng nasabi ko sayo...I'm sorry sa lahat...I'm sorry. Mahal kita. Mahal kita kaya wala akong pakialam sa mga nangyari na. I'm sorry kung hindi ko naaalala ang mga nagawa ko noon sayo. Nagsisisi na ako. Patawarin mo ako." I said while tears falling in my cheeks. Habang inaalala ang mga nangyaring iyon. Ang panahong nakatayo lang ako habang nakikinig ng musika na ibinigay niya at nakapiring ang mga mata. Now I understand kung bakit nya ako piniringan. Dahil ayaw nyang makita ko ang mga mangyayari. Dahil alam nyang hindi ko yun kakayanin.

Everybody was dead. Covering their body of their own blood flowing in every corner of the field.

Nangilabot ako sa nakita lalo na nang makita ko sina Draco at Kurt na mulat pa ang mga mata habang laslas ang kanilang mga leeg.

Si Rob ay nakadapa habang nakahiwalay ang kanyang ulo sa leeg.

Napaatras ako ngunit muntik pa akong matalisod nang maatrasan ko ang iba pang bangkay sa aking likuran.

Napatingin ako sa aking kinatatayuan. At dun ko lang napagtanto na tanging ang kinatatayuan ko lang ang walang bahid ng kahit isang patak ng dugo.

"No one dares to hurt my Natsu!"

Mabilis akong napalingon sa pinanggalingan ng tinig na iyon para lang mapanganga nang makita si Jack na hawak hawak sa leeg ang isang may edad nang lalaki. hindi na sumasayad sa lupa ang paa nito habang angat sya ni Jack gamit ang isang kamay.

At muntik pa akong mapasigaw nang bigla niyang baliin ang leeg nito nang hindi ginagamit ang isa niyang kamay.

Napasinghap ako nang walang buhay na bumagsak sa sahig ang matanda.

Nang muli kong tingnan si Jack ay nagulat pa ako nang makitang nakatingin narin sya sakin.

Wala akong makitang pagsisi o takot sa mukha nya. As if she intend to do kill all of them.

Dagling sumigid ang kaba sa dibdib ko nang maglakad siya palapit sakin.

Dugdug...dugdugdugdugdugdugdugdug...

Pakiramdam ko ay bigla nalang hihinto sa pagtibok ang puso ko lalo na nang makalapit sya sakin.

At lalo lang akong kinilabutan nang makitang kulay pula na ang mga mata niya na parang bampira na uhaw sa dugo.

I-is she really a devil? Literally!!!

I want to run. But I can't move my body.

I was stiffened when she touch my cheeks. Napapikit nalang ako nang dahan dahan niyang ilapit ang kanyang mukha sakin.

Is she a vampire? And she's going to bite me!!!

And what I said to her was beyond imagination of the word 'hurt'.

"Y-you're a monster!! What the...what the hell are you!?" I freaked out.

"Natsu.." She tried to touch me but I avoided her.

I'm trembling and all I want to do is to run away.

"Natsu.. I.. I was trying to save you."

"Saving me from what? From these people you just killed? Yes they are bad people but they will never do what you've done to them. You killed them with your bare hands..! Oh God.. You're not human Jack. You really are a devil." I said with a trembling hands pointing at her.

I want to curse her. I can't believe I'm dealing with a monster. A real monster!

"A-akala ko demonyo na ang grupo nina Draco pero may mas malala pa pala sa kanila. God! I never realized that I'm dealing with a monster." I said with fearness in my voice and shivering sound.

"Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. You're my Natsu." She said as she walk close to me. But I stepped back trying to avoid her.

"It's still me Natsu, I'm still Jack you used to know. Mas gusto kong nagagalit at naiinis ka sakin keysa nakikita kang takot at umiiwas. Please don't be afraid Natsu. I just wanted to protect you. I can't let them touch you. Because you're mine..."

"...and what is mine is mine alone.. "

Hearing it was gives me chills all over my body I looked at her and I was very confused for what she said.

"I will never be yours Jack. I have someone in my heart and I love her. And look at you! Who would ever love a monster like you? I will never love a monster who could kill people with just one hand."

She frozed. Maybe she didn't expected me to say that to her.

"Jack..." Naalarma ako nang makita siyang umiiyak.

She blink twice and touch her face.

She frowned when she felt the water in her finger. As if she's wondering what is that liquid in her hand.

"What is this thing?" She ask.

Napanganga ako sa sinabi nya. What??

"You never seen a tear?" I asked.

"This is tears? Coming from eyes?" Aniya at bahagyang natawa na para bang noon lamang niya naintindihan ang bagay na iyon.

And the next thing happened was she still erase my memory through kissing me.

Gusto kong saktan ang sarili ko.

Kung ako ang nasa kalagayan ni Jack nang mga oras na iyon. Baka hindi ko na iyon kinaya.

Hearing those words from the person you love.

Napapikit ako ng mariin at napahigpit ng yakap sa kanya.

Walang humpay na paghingi ng tawad ang pinakawalan ko kahit pa ilang beses nyang sinabi na okay lang ang lahat.

I felt guilty at habang buhay kong pagsisisihan ang mga sinabi ko.

Now that I know who she is.

I will do anything to keep her safe. From everyone and most especially from herself.

End of flashback..

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