9.0: Blurry Lights
Having darkness melt away my reality, is like having all the sounds I look forward to- birds chirping, waves crashing and wind chimes singing- get drowned away by a single thunderclap. A clap so consuming, so intense, I forget the sweetness of what it masked, remembering nothing but the lingering fear it leaves hanging in the still air.
And maybe this is how it feels to get here in the middle of a spiritual tornado with blasts and blasts of very unpleasant events, slicing my nonexistent heart with the fear of the unknown.
And maybe getting here is how it feels to have a panic attack. A sense of foreboding followed by tight breaths, shaky hands and touch-touching your throat and thinking that maybe the whole universe got shoved in there and you just can't breathe.