Chapter 28 - books

Zack's POV:

I let the sun settle on my skin. Soft and delicate, slightly tickling as it shines on. It feels nice, to be here today. I feel grateful to be alive.

Amelia chuckles lightly; the sound like a chime on the wind being carried, it makes me smile. "You look happy," Amelia says to me.

"I think a sunny day with you would do this to anyone," i reply with a smile that matches her own. Her skin is shining, twinkling really. It deepens her dark hair, turning it almost burnt caramel colour, her eyelashes look thick and curly, and the way she's fluttering them makes me think that we should be at home. Amelia has such a strange effect on me; everywhere we go, everytime i look at her, my heart calms to the point where i feel like i'm underwater, my head swimming in her orbit. I want to be viscus, to be poured around her, swirling together; stars, blending into the sky.

"Stop looking at me like that, Zackery! We're in a public place," Amelia says, swatting my shoulder playfully. I catch her hand, bringing it to my lips and kissing it.

"You look beautiful today." My hand is still in hers, raised to my face. Her expression softens and she rolls her eyes.

"You're making me wish we weren't in public now," she groans, moving our hands down onto the grass. 

We're sitting on spare jackets we brought with us; the winter grass is wet to the touch but the sun was so bright we thought we wouldn't mind. Amelia looks at me for a moment, then breaks her hand away from mine so she can pick up her book again.

"What's your book about?" I ask, picking up mine too. 

Amelia smiles, probably waiting for me to ask her. "A friend of mine at the publishing firm recommended it to me. It's called "Julia" and it's a retelling of "1984" in Julia's point of view. It's incredible so far. I'll give it to you to read after i've finished, if you want?"

"Yeah, definitely," i say with slight amusement. I love how she finds enjoyment and excitement in even talking about books. It makes me fall more and more for her personality. 

"What's yours?" Amelia says, trying to look at the cover. I hold it up for her to see. "Oh! "In cold blood"! I know an Amelia recommendation when i see it! How's it going for you?" 

"It's going well, i'm absolutely flying through it," i say, still trying to fix my face to show at least half the adoration that i can feel seeping out of me for this woman. I put my book down and lay my head flat against the grass.

"Is it too wet?" She asks.

I shake my head. "I mean it's not soaking. Plus our hair is waterproof and we've got a shower," i say with a smile. 

Amelia nods, laying herself down next to me. I look at the clouds, fluffy and white, like Simpson clouds. The sky is a perfect blue, the clouds are a perfect shape, the sun a perfect white. It's perfect, as is Amelia next to me. Something inside me is pulling at me, longing for me to ruin this. But i'm here, and i'm trying, because there's someone more important than my suffering. And i deserve to be alive, or so i keep telling myself, over and over. 

"Oh, i forgot to tell you!" Amelia says, turning her head to the right to look at me. She's so close i can feel her breath. I don't think i could ever get tired of looking at Amelia, or hearing her talk.

"What is it, my lovely?" I say, my eyes still occupied with absorbing every centimeter of her face incase she decides to never let me this close again. 

"My publisher wants me to publish this week! I mean we've finished, and edited, and redrafted all over the place, so i know it's how i want it to be, but i'm apprehensive to say yes to the book being printed. I don't know why," She says this quietly, as though it's a secret meant only for us. 

"Amelia! That's great news, baby! I know that it's going to be brilliant! And i also know that you are a good writer, a good person, and you deserve to publish a book that you're spent this long on. I know you can do it, because i believe in you more than i've ever believe in anyone or anything."

Amelia blinks slowly, tears making her eyes glossy and big. "You've made me cry, you bugger!" She says with a laugh, wiping away the tears as they fall down her rosy cheeks. 

I lean into her, kissing her cheeks to take away some of the tears. She smiles at me, throwing her arms around my shoulders and leaning her head on my chest. I settle back into the position i was originally in, but with Amelia nestled into my shirt. Her warmth fills my body, and i place my arms around her. 

The bird chirp loudly, a sweet song echoing in the trees. Cold breeze whistles over us, partly warmed by the sun. Amelia is a comforting weight on my chest and stomach, grounding me in this moment. I watch as the white clouds move, it seems quick, like they're in a rush to get away from something. Time feels slow today, like Amelia and I exist atemporally, everything else moving and aging while we stay, timeless.

Amelia stirs slightly, then lifts her head off my chest to look up at me. She smiles, her lips and nose pink from the cold, contrasting her snow white skin. She almost looks ethereal, with her dark curls spilling down her shoulders and back. 

"Tell me what you want, anything," she says simply, as though it's the easiest question in the entire world. 

I laugh gently. "Anythings a tall order, Am."

"Anything," she repeats, unwavering. 

I think for a moment. "A plant shop."

She looks at me, smiling encouragingly. "A plant shop?"

I nod. "I want to run a plant shop. It's the only thing i have ever really wanted that i still want to this day. Apart from a woman who somehow likes me," i say, squeezing her a little.

Amelia chuckles. "I think you can, and should, run a plant shop."

"I have savings. I could buy a shop, well a downpayment and rent for the first few months."

She looks at me, serious. "Do it, i'm not joking. I think you'd be amazing. Obviously you'd need a business plan, don't go in blind, that could be chaos. But yes, you should do it."

Amelia and I both have the same brainwave, both moving to where we're sitting cross legged looking at eachother. 

"Am i going to start a plant shop?" I ask her in disbelief. 

Amelia smiles her most amazing smile, teeth and all. "Yes, Zack. You're going to start a plant shop!" She says, unable to keep her excitement in. She starts clapping and cheering loudly. 

I laugh, joining in. It feel unbelievably good to feel excited about something.