novel ideas

"TODAY is a day....FOR WRITING!!!" declared a Mr. Hamster from the top of it's lungs.

Given that the hamster is very small and likewise, it's lungs were even smaller, that wasn't all too loud.

A sexy office slave was not dressed for work. Instead, she was so smexy in an oversized Tweety bird sweater and Nike sweat pants, oh my god so comfortable- so sexy- if only she could dress like this every day.

Today is CC's day off and she could spend it however she so liked.

Were there more important things one could do with the free time to improve their lives? Yes!

Will CC do any of them today? No!

"What will we do today?" she yawned. An actual peaceful morning yes, no phone calls, no patients, nooooothing.

"Write!" screeches the hamster.

A projector board rolls down, led my one Professor Hamster. With a fancy pen and a pointer stick Mr. Hamster taps at CC's supposed options as a writer.

"For today's evil diabolical plans to gather more reader's tears we must:

1. Work on Unloved Twin

2. Work on Queen of the Castaway Isle

or even 3. get back to work on Slip in Time!"

"Achoo!" sneezed CC, nodding along.

"Now what will you do!"

"Honey and blueberries on buttered toast."

"NOT FOR BREAKFAST YOU FOOL!!!"

Said hamster is soon buried in blueberries as CC makes coffee and toast. Through the gaps of the barries, it squeaks profanity and death.

"Actually Mr. Hamster, I have a brand new idea!" declares CC a ridiculous amount of time later- munching on more dessert than breakfast.

"Another one? FINISH THE ONES YOU HAVE OUT FIRST."

Mr. Hamster threw a blueberry or 12. What a waste of berries, still yummy.

"No no no it's a great idea.I've been so inspired lately."

"Speak! You can only squeeze the life out of a new idea by releasing, THEN MURDERING IT BY ITS OWN WEAKNESS!!!"

"You'll love it Mr. Hamater, I promise."

"Speak!"

CC clears her throat with a mug of coffee- ready to be good and so very productive with her proposal.

"We take everything top 50 something popular webnovels and feed it to an AI writing system. That's like 99 million chapters. Then let it autogenerate a whole new novel- we don't even edit it- let it be organic. Natual."

"....."

"We publish that and be super popular rich authors finally."

"....."

"It's great."

Mr. Hamster takes a blueberry to CC's eyes.

"YOU STUPID BUTT."

"It's a great idea! It will either be so bad it's good or actually unironically popular!"

Luckily CC wore glasses instead of contacts that morning, thus she was protected from Mr. Hamster's blueberry dodgeballs or sharp little claws. With the power of coffee and at full strength from sleeping in, it was a rare day CC felt so inspired and could fight back against the ultimate lord writing hamster.

"YOU DISPLEASING BUTTHOLE OF A HEATHEN. ARE WE NOT ARTISTS!? THIS BEINGS NO SUFFERING BUT OUR OWN?!"

"I mean, anyone who reads it will suffer? OR laugh really hard they suffer?"

"NO AI'S! NON!"

"Oh ocme on they use machine translated novels?"

"NONE."

Seeing that the hamster's bloodlust could not be satisfied with her 1st idea- CC moved on the plab 2. She still really likes that idea. Maybe one day- if she doesn't get sued.

'Okay what about this one."

"yoU HAVE ANOTHER STUPPID HUMAN IDEA?"

"Yes, okay so new novel idea:Listen up because it is genius and so real it hurts."

"Hurts?! Yesss hurts."

Hamster likes pain, hamster likes making readers suffer for real. It listens in real close, looking adorable and sparkly eyes on the breakfast table.

"Isekai into another world with a car full of Panic buying supplies: Toilet paper fortress, hand sanitizer, a Costco chicken. The works! The MC shall be all powerful for a good few short weeks then die as they can't OP the world with toilet paper!"

"..."

"THey can use everything they have in their car! I always wanted to try to isekai but this time...with covid 19 supplies that does near nothing!"

"..."

"Mr. Hamster? What do you think? IS there enough suffering?"

"YOU SHITTY GIANT HAIRLESS MONKEY!!!!" screeched the hamster, charging up CC's nose with a fork.

Now that was uncomfortable but luckily it was partially blocked by toast.

"I'll take that as a no."

"TOILET PAPER? DID YOU LEAVE YOUR BRAIN AT WORK? DID THE VIRUS OF STUPID INFECT YOU?!"

"....maybe."

It was a truly peaceful day off. With no writing done. For CC likes to not only turn off her brain on her day off but to play. All play. Mr. Hamster couldn't even get her to work at night for she went out to eat take out ramen and binge watch bad baking shows at a friend's house.

Hobby writers had lives too?

Maybe CC could use it to think up better inspirations for a new novel that Mr. Hamster would like too. Her current genius ideas were all shot down.

"WORK ON THE EXISTING ONES FIRST!!!!"

"AH yes yes Mr. Hamster."

But she didn't. FOr there were board games to play and bakings shows to laugh at. Someone brought beer at 10. Good boring times.

"WORK!"

But she didn't.

The end.