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Warhammer 40K: I Don’t Want to Be a Tin Can!

This is a translation- Original Author: Night Tales by a Dim Lamp In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war. The Emperor walks among men, striving to restore the glory of the Imperium. Yet, the fate of humanity has long been toyed with by the malevolent Chaos Gods. In this tumultuous future, there is naught but endless darkness and warfare. That is, until the appearance of a Deathwatch Marine named Hades. As the threads of destiny intertwine, can this outsider change the tragic fate that awaits countless souls? The gods place their bets. Yet, Hades remains oblivious to all of this. At present, he's weeping like a snotling that's had its toe stepped on. "Emperor's mercy! Why am I in the Warhammer universe?!" "And why in Terra's name am I a Deathwatch Marine?!" "Is it too late to bash my head in and respawn?!" A comedic tale where a nerdy, unserious protagonist finds himself in the grimdark Warhammer world, oscillating between moments of sheer terror and bouts of uncontrollable sobbing.

Read_and_Chill · 書籍·文学
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175 Chs

Chapter 116: Always Have an Exit Strategy

Hades held a small vehicle in his hand, its simple mechanical structure clearly visible through its open framework.

Without an emergency feedback system, the vehicle's wheels continued to spin, trying to move in its predetermined direction.

Hades reached out and stopped the wheels with his fingers.

Instantly, a tiny, almost endearing force feedback was felt at his fingertips.

It wasn't a sophisticated device. When Hades accessed its system, he only found basic remote-control commands.

Hades was visibly puzzled, but fortunately, someone approached to clarify.

"Lord Hades, are you examining Exploration Item #82?"

The Ecclesiarchy squad leader who had led the team earlier approached. She was Yade-783, the team's leader. Although her appearance didn't reveal her gender, she identified as female.

"What is this?" Hades asked, fidgeting with the small vehicle.

"These are the remnants of agricultural machinery on this planet. Even after the humans disappeared, they continue to follow their set paths, sowing, fertilizing, transporting, and harvesting."

"Their design is simple but ingenious, allowing them to continue functioning long after the humans were gone."

"The anti-aging technology that the previous sage collected came from this Exploration Item #82."

"Is that so?" Hades blinked and then set the vehicle down, thoughtfully placing the fruit he had removed from it back on.

The vehicle hesitated for a moment but soon rejoined the flow, busily working in what seemed like a pointless endeavor.

"The humans of this planet have disappeared, but the machines still work?" Hades murmured, watching the vehicle move away.

"Yes, Lord. Flesh is inherently weak. The precision and harmony of mechanical structures are the true choices of the universe," Yade remarked, thinking Hades was reflecting on the greatness of the Machine God.

A civilization had vanished, but machinery endured.

However, Hades immediately countered, "But where does all that food go? Does it just rot in a warehouse somewhere?"

Yade swallowed the mechanical prayer she was about to recite, noting that the sages she had served before usually chose to recite prayers at such moments.

"Lord, there's a place nearby where the food is stored. I can show you."

"Alright."

The vehicles converged on a high ground in the village.

Hades was currently sprawled on the ground, peering into a hole.

Several vehicles surrounded him, futilely trying to dump food into the hole, but Hades blocked them, causing them to bump into him repeatedly.

"Stop bumping."

Hades waved a vehicle away and continued to peer into the hole.

It was too deep to see anything.

Hades stood up, having found nothing, and watched as the vehicles continued to dump food.

The open area was filled with countless holes. All the food from the vast flow of vehicles was dumped here.

"According to sonic scans, there's a large food storage chamber below," Yade informed.

"But without consumption, the spoiled food is turned into liquid fertilizer by the agricultural system and then used to fertilize the forest."

Near the neatly arranged holes, there were indeed some pipes expelling a rotten smell, a yellow-green liquid.

Thick moss and fungi covered the pipe openings.

Specific vehicles came by, collecting the liquid, and then entered the dense forest.

"You're sure you've checked thoroughly?"

"Yes, Lord. There are many similar food collection points around the village and city. We sampled five of them. They are indeed filled with food, but due to storage system failures, most of it has turned into a rotting semi-liquid state."

Hades blinked, realizing he might have been overly suspicious.

However, he wished they had such simple and effective machinery during the Barbarus era. But these vehicles would probably corrode from the toxic gases and wouldn't last long.

Still, Hades discreetly noted the machinery's design and resisted the urge to remove his helmet and taste the fruit.

Not far from this platform was an open circular stage. With a "since I'm here" attitude, Hades decided to check it out.

Simple geometric vine carvings adorned the white stone pillars. Tiered outdoor seating surrounded the platform. In the center stood a steep podium with thorns and vine carvings.

In the middle of the podium, a symbol of two hands holding the sun was carved from wood, with one hand wrapped in vines.

"This seems to be where humans gave lectures and educated," Yade's voice echoed from behind Hades, who was fixated on the podium.

Suddenly, he leaped onto the podium. The massive frame of the space marine looked somewhat cramped on it.

But Hades didn't care. His left brain indicated electronic device fluctuations here.

He controlled the plasma cutter on his back, gently slicing open the podium at its lowest power setting.

A backup device?

Hades hesitantly plugged the backup device into his power armor's isolated reading machine.

[Lecture Record #126]

[Speaker: Ruebo]

A picture of a young girl with shoulder-length white hair appeared, likely Ruebo. She wore something resembling a scientific white robe, with a badge made of three intertwined vines pinned to it.

Her face was distant and rational, yet rebellious.

However, a sense of aversion, palpable even through the electronic photo, emanated from her.

Was she an Untouchable?

Hades frowned, continuing to browse the content.

[We choose to believe in science.]

[Ancient religions should be overthrown.]

[They ask us to endure suffering, to worship those eerie black structures.]

[Here, I say, there are no gods in this world. We should use technology to explain everything.]

The record ended there, followed by snippets of tech talks. But upon closer inspection, Hades realized they were more like guides on how to use psychic energy.

Are you sure using human blood to drive psychic energy falls under "research"?

Although during the Golden Age, there were blasphemous entities powered by infant blood, Hades couldn't discern the actual content of this "research" due to his limited psychic knowledge.

Psychic, religious, black structures... Hades suddenly recalled that strange dream.

The bishop in black priestly attire.

"Help me... kill... her."

"Her?"

Hades stared at the image of the white-haired girl on the reading machine.

What was going on?

Hades suddenly realized that the situation on this planet wasn't as simple as all the humans dying.

Taking a deep breath, Hades thought, when you realize something's off, what's the first thing you do?

He opened a communication channel to Sage Kirkland.

"Sage, can the ship leave the planet right now?"

"Oh! Lord Hades, I was just about to contact you about that."

"Just now, there was an abnormal atmospheric disturbance above the planet, making it unsuitable for takeoff."

"But don't worry, you should be able to catch up with the fleet heading to the Forge World."

Hades took another deep breath. If he had been merely speculating before, now his alarms were blaring.

He felt a chill.

"Sage, send out a distress signal."

"What?"

"Just do it. Now. Immediately."

Hades blinked.

"If it turns out to be nothing, I'll deal with the rescue team."

"But for now, send out the distress signal."

Hades said through gritted teeth.

On the *Indomitable*, location unknown.

"Recently, Karast

iphon has been acting strangely, always moving closer to the Untouchable zones."

Fernando shifted subtly. Now? At this time? And why would a psyker approach the Untouchable zones?

"I'll check it out."

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