100000 years of suicide

'BANG' was the last sound he would ever hear... in this life.

...

A few minutes before

...

Kalay is on his first workday as a bank receptionist.

It was not his dreamjob but the salary was quite good and the worktime wasn't that long, so he went with that.

It was already 17pm and it was just one more hour until his first workday ended, but then something happened that he didn't expected. Around 8 men with black masks ran into the bank.

The moment he saw them he wanted to directly hide under his desk but before he could do that he heard a sound that he would never forget again.

...

'HOLY! A ROBBERY! A GUNSHOT!'

Due to extreme panic, he didn't notice that he wasn't at the bank anymore.

[QUIET!] an extremely mighty voice called out.

Surprised by the voice, Kalay opened his eyes that he closed because of the fear of being shot.

He now noticed that this wasn't the bank he was working at, but a white space with a golden ball of light in front of him.

'Is this a dream? Did I faint and am now dreaming this?' Kalay asked in his mind.

[No, this is not a dream. You died by the hands of one of the robbers] the voice answered.

"You can read my mind?! Wait, what? I'M DEAD?" he was incredible shocked right now. It was just too much for him to accept. Though he read a lot of fanfictions that began like this in his freetime, he wasn't

prepared for this.

[Yes, I can read your thoughts. Now that you're dead, you have two options, reincarnate as a human without your memories or reincarnate with your memories but not necessarily as human] the voice echoed through the white space

again. Kalay now noticed that the voice came from the golden lightball.

A bit confused he asked "Not necessarily human? what do you mean?"

[It will be decided by your luck as what you will be reborn]

After a few minutes Kalay thought to himself 'If I use the luck variant can't I just kill myself and try again until I get something good?'

'[He noticed]' the voice thought

"I decided! I will choose luck!" he said with great enthusiasm. The moment he said that a huge spinning wheel appeared before him. The size was that of an 8-story building and each part of the spinning wheel had at most the width of one millimeter.

He approached the spinning wheel and tried to spin it, surprisingly it was extremely light. While it was spinnig he saw a couple of fields on the spinning wheel like ant, company heir, bacteria...

After around 6 minutes of spinning it finally stopped. It landed on... ant.

'DAMN!'

[I wish you better luck in your next life] then a great suction force appeared that sucked him into something that looked like a black hole.

The next thing he remembered was being in a nest full of ants.

'Ok, lets kill myself'

Being an ant was really confusing but his new ant instincts told him how to move and what to do. In his mind one thing was repeatedly showing up, it was the line 'Protect the queen'.

Wanting to kill himself as soon as possible he tried to stab his 'claw' in his 'torso'. It didn't hurt like he thought it would.

'It seems that ants can't feel pain.'

He looked at the hole in his 'skin' and felt slightly disgusted. After a few minutes he got tired.

When he closed his eyes he found himself again in the white space.

[Hello mortal soul! Unfortunately, you are de...] before he could end his sentence Kalay interrupted him.

"I choose luck."

'[Oh, it is the one who noticed the loophole]'

The spinning wheel appeared again. He again, spinned it and it now landed on... mouse.

...

Hyena

...

Ant queen

...

fly

...

...

...

...

...

..

.

After a long, long time of suicide he, Kalay, again stood before the spinning wheel. Not hoping anything anymore he calmly looked at the spinning wheel and pulled it. A few minutes later it stopped at a field that looked weird.

It wasn't it's design but the words on it.

'A Weeb's wet dream' stood there.

'What the...'

"God what is this?" after 2 and a half long times he asked the voice who he was and he answered with 'Call me God'. That was around 52 long times ago or around 0.98 long, long times ago.

[Oh! You finally managed to draw something good! It will be a bit lonely if you are gone] After around 14 long times Kalay and God began to talk a bit about there likes and dislikes and now they are best friends.

God was really sad because Kalay was currently his only friend and if he is gone he would be alone again.

"So it is good?" Kalay asked, still a bit skeptical about it.

[Of course! You know those fanfictions where the main character gets wishes from God? That's it! With the 'A Weeb's wet dream' package you are able to choose the world you want to reincarnate in, your appearance

and a system. An anime system of course because it's still a WEEB'S wet dream.]

"O MAI GOTTO!" Kalay screamed at the top of his lungs!

[Was that a Jojo's reference?]

"Yes... Let me think... what should I choose"

[Take your time]

...

After around 0.000002 long times of pondering Kalay finally chose.

"I decided."

[Good, it also only took you 2 days... What will you choose?]

"I want my appearance to be extremely, extremely, extremely.... extremely handsome and for the world one with magic and stuff." Kalay said with a goofy face.

[That's pretty vague... how is it possible that you took 2 days for that?] God said with slight confusion in his voice.

"That's not important, hehe... by the way, it is possible that you come with me? You are my best friend and we already know each other for more than 100000 years. If you weren't there for me, I would've already turned crazy"

[142465 years to be exact and yes, I already thought about creating myself a body and going with you. Also, because we are friends, I will let you choose one ability you would like to have in our new world from the start

but I will only give you 1 minute. I don't want to wait anymore]

'Holy, what should I choose?!'

...

32s remaining

...

'Should I choose this? No.'

...

14s remaining

...

'This? NO!'

...

3s remaining

...

This? N... fluff it!

...

"I choose the Titanshifter ability of the War Hammer Titan without the curse." he said with an exhausted voice and face.

[Not a really wise choice but so be it]

"Why is it not wise." Kalay asked with a face that looked a bit upset. He was really confident in his wisdom. After all he has a mental age that exceeds 140000 years.

[Just think about it. You want to, for example, eat a sandwich but then you stumble and you bleed. You had a goal in mind and you are bleeding. If you can't perfectly control it you will just go BOOM and everthing gets destroyed]

After he heard that, one could literally see the regret on Kalays face.

"Just send me there yet! And don't embarass me anymore!"

[It was your choice] God said with a little chuckle.

"STFU!" if he was a normal mortal, God would've probably wiped him out of existence by now but

they had the greatest friendship in existence, one that lasted longer than 100000 years, something like that wasn't something

that could anger God.

[If you wish to, I will send you there now. See you later, Kalay]

"Yeah, see you later!"

...

and everything turned black...