Start of something new

I grip my stomach tight, digging my nails deep into my flesh, i hate how he makes me feel.

I sit up and stare at the door wondering what he is upto, 'ofcourse he is sleeping' he isn't a freak like me.

Is Zachary inlove with me? Is that the reason why he so readily agreed to sleep with me and why he was waiting outside my house just now. I take deep breaths trying to steady my heartbeat, why now, what changed?

Or has he always been inlove with me and only used the bullying to cover up, is that what he meant when he said he was going to be in my life one way or another?

The questions keep coming to my mind and try as I may, i do not arrive at any answers.

I close my eyes and try to sleep but fail so I get up from the bed and tiptoe down the stairs. Zachary is lying down on the couch with his eyes closed and a content smile on his face, I know I shouldn't be here but instead of leaving I tiptoe closer to him. My heart does flips in my chest causing my heart to beat uncontrollably, I wrap my hand around my chest in an attempt to calm it down scared that he might hear and wake up. What will he think of me if he finds out how smitten I am by him.

His lips are red and thick, his straight nose is at a perfect ninety degrees to his upper lip, his thick long lashes flutter slightly. His light brown skin calls to me silently. I move my hands slowly to touch that delicate skin but stop half way, what the fuck am I doing here?

I take a quick step back and turn on my heels but a firm grip holds me in place, I gasp in shock and turn my hand back, my eyes landing on Zacharys honey brown ones. How long has he been awake?

He directs my hand to his face placing my palm on his warm cheek and holding it there.

I stay rooted at the spot, my hand on his face, my eyes wide open in shock for a full minute before my natural defensiveness shoots into action and I pull back my hand forcibly surprising him. He sits up with super human speed looking hurt and betrayed. I have seen this look in his eyes before, it is the exact look he had in his eyes that day all those years ago in that past that I wish never belonged to me.

I turn and run upstairs bolting the door.

My never failing alarm clock wails out loudly at exactly 7am, I was only able to get about 3hours of sleep.

I rub my eyes with the back of my hand brushing away strands of rebellious hair from my face. I yawn loudly and stretch before lying back down on the bed determining to sleep just a little bit more. A knock on the door reminds me that I am not alone in the house.

I scramble to my feet and towards the door, I stretch out my hand to the door knob but hesitate a bit. How should I act when I open this door, should I be friendly and polite or should I continue being cold like i always am. I rest my back against the door and close my eyes taking in deep breaths. The knock sounds again. I open my eyes and turn to the door slowly, opening it. Bright smiles flash at me, Zachary with a tray of food stands in front of me grinning happily. I look at him stupefied.

"There was no food in your house so I went out to get breakfast hope you don't mind?" his grin turning nervous.

Why is he doing this to me, why is he making me fall in love with him and most importantly why is it working, why am I so wholly affected by him. I don't think I have the strength to fight this, everything in me Is calling out for him.

I move away from the door giving him the go ahead to enter the room.

He places the tray on the bed,

"How did you sleep?" He asks

I didn't sleep at all, I was awake all night wondering about you. I walk past him and sit on the bed deciding to ignore his question.

"Ain't you going to school, why are you still here?" I ask staring at the tray of what used to be my favourite foods, I sigh out.

"What, is something wrong with the food?" He inquires. Nothing passes him by huh

"I don't eat pancakes " I say with a straight face .

He starts laughing and then stops almost immediately

"You're not joking?" I shake my head in the negative.

"I'm going to take a shower or I'll be late " I say and dash into the bathroom.

I hear the bedroom door open and close and I sigh out in relief, but why is my heart aching?