Chapter 85 - Eighteen (III)

"Please excuse my lack of pleasantries, Lord Kyle, but I'd rather get to the point. Lady Catherine is a wonderful girl and would make a lovely wife. If you're concerned about her commoner upbringing-"

"It's nothing of that kind, Lady Valentina."

Kyle was positively sulking, but I had no patience for the trivial emotions of side characters.

"Well? What is it that you object to, then?"

"I'm merely not interested in marriage."

I frowned. That was clear defiance of the social standards the members of high society lived by.

"You mean at the moment, I presume. Surely you'll marry eventually, but if you're too late there mayn't be anyone as suitable as Lady Catherine. Why, you might have to marry an old maid whom you could never grow to care for. Sooner or later, your family will pressure you into a match, whether you like it or not. At least currently, you can make your own decision."

"Your worry is touching, but I see it as that I should enjoy my freedom for as long as possible. I haven't found anyone I particularly like yet, and I don't have the effort to seek someone, with all our important work for the kingdom. Besides, I assure you I shall be able to deal with my family or any other well-meaning individual."

He stared me in the eye purposefully. It was a standard textbook answer plausible to most nosy relatives, but for some reason I had the suspicion that he was lying, and I was usually correct, though I had no idea why he did.

I had been trying to push other men Catherine's way, but due to her damned reputation, few were willing. Moreover, as the first one to ever dance with her, Kyle had an advantage that would be a pity to let go to waste, not to mention the implicit gentleman's code that would automatically prevent my brother from pursuing her further. I tried my best to reason with him.

"You don't have to look. I'm presenting Lady Catherine right to you, and if you've ever thought of me kindly, you would trust that I'm certain you would be happy together, and have the decency to at least try."

He had the impudence to sound as exasperated as I was.

"Lady Valentina, with all due respect, please stay out of my business."

I had an odd sense of deja vu. When had someone else dared to say that to me without being executed? Ah, yes. I had been attempting to console Delilah and persuade her to try again with Damian. Odd, they wore the same expression of heavily veiled misery too.

Suddenly, it all clicked, and I cursed myself for not seeing it earlier. I chose my next words carefully.

"Is it perhaps that you prefer your friendship with Damian?"

Kyle wouldn't meet my eyes. Finally, he relented, with a flush to his cheeks.

"Oh, close enough! Let's just say that I love him more than I love my actual brothers, but it's not like anything's ever going to happen. I simply wish to be with him as long as I can before he finds a girl he likes so much that he never thinks about me again!"

This situation was rather unexpected, but could prove to be advantageous. In my mind, gears turned rapidly.

"I think affection without expecting anything in return is admirable, as it means you selflessly wish the best for the individual. Thus, it is even more of your responsibility that my brother does not make decisions he will regret."

"Is Lady Catherine a decision to be regretted? I'm so moved you thought of me, Lady Valentina."

Despite the attitude, Kyle was usually a kind and sympathetic person. I could use that empathy towards someone with a similarly unrequited love.

"Lady Catherine is a perfectly nice girl, but she's not for Damian, no matter how infatuated he may temporarily be. To be absolutely honest, I'm regarding this from another perspective. You're acquainted with Lady Delilah Finley, I believe? She's a dear friend of mine with sentiments comparable to yours. Yet unlike you, she stands a chance with Damian, if he would only get to know her. She can make him content, while he would tire of Lady Catherine in a week and move on to some new fancy. Isn't that what you want? For Damian to be happy?"

Kyle did not speak for a moment and breathed deeply.

"So you're saying I should seduce Damian's current girl so your friend could have a chance with him to make him happy, since I never had one anyways? Damn. That hurts."

"I know, but it's for the best. The pain will fade with time. But if you truly love Damian, won't you help me, Lord Kyle?"

I gave my best pleading eyes. As anticipated, they were effective. Kyle sighed resignedly.

"I'll think about it, Lady Valentina. Thank you for letting me tell you all this, though I'll trust that you'll keep it between us. Funny how you remind me of him."

With a wistful yet bitter expression on his face, our dance ended. I turned around to find Damian approaching me, and I met him cheerfully.

"Hello, Damian. Aren't you going to ask me to dance?"

"Of course, my sweet Val. May I have the honour of this next dance?"

"Yes, you may, my darling brother."

Hand in hand, we began with the music. I blocked off the thoughts of his hopeless admirers to focus on the imminent and far more important topic: me. Specifically, this unstable relationship between us that I was tired of.

"I was almost worried you wouldn't come."

"I'm wounded that you think so little of me! I wouldn't miss my precious little sister's eighteenth birthday for the world."

"Good. I hope it means you're prepared to discuss what we are as reasonable adults."

Damian laughed, his purple eyes glinting. His pupils weren't overly dilated, so it would appear that he would fairly sane today. Fortunate, since it meant we could communicate properly, like we should've done long ago.

"And what are we, my dear Val?"

"Brother and sister, and nothing more. Very good friends, certainly. Best friends, if you would like, though I suspect that would injure Lord Kyle."

"You're also the meaning of my life and the only one I shall ever love."

I smiled sadly.

"I'm delighted, Damian, and I'm grateful you feel this way. However, you must know that while I love you very much, I have more in my life. I love being the saint, the heir to House Avington, the future crown princess, and a lady of society. I have friends and a fiance, though you will always have a unique place in my heart."

Damian fell quiet for a second. I marvelled that for once, it was my brother that I was talking to, not the mad mage that had stolen him away, and I thanked God for it. I had missed him, and the most terrifying part had been that they were the same person.

"I understand, Val. I have been trying to come to terms with it as you grew up, but it went by so quickly, and now you're an adult! I don't know why, but I haven't felt like myself for some time. If I've acted out of line, I apologize."

"It's my birthday, so you're forgiven."

Warmth filled my chest, but I had an ominous suspicion that it was too soon to celebrate as he continued.

"Nevertheless, I wish it could be the way it used to be, when I had you all to myself. I know we can never go back, but selfishly, I won't stop trying. I can't stop caring about you and I don't think I ever can, nor do I want to. Please, I know it's too much to ask, but forgive me for this too."

I swallowed, a chill creeping over me.

"You won't try to let me go, even if I ask you to?"

"No. I'm sorry. I promise I'll always want the best for you."

"What if we disagree on what's best?"

"We'll talk about it, like we're doing now."

"What if you don't want to talk, like back at Princess Elizabeth's ball?"

"Then, you should know that I love you and that everything I do, I do for you, and for us."

The worst part was his sincerity. It was not the magic, or if it was, they were so integrated that there was no telling them apart. His eyes and composure were calm and genuine, and it was wholly despairing.

"You know you would be happy with me. You would never have to worry again about anything, and it would just be the two of us, like when we were kids."

"I do, but I wouldn't be satisfied. I want more."

If I could give up my ambitions like the classic isekaied villainess to live a peaceful life, I would've done it long ago. Yet the fear of weakness that initially drove me, now transformed into a desperate yearning for power, would never cease.

"What if I take over the world for you? I can do it, with my magic, and you wouldn't have to marry that bastard."

There were probably a thousand good reasons why he shouldn't, but at the moment, for heaven's sake, I couldn't think of even one. I merely smiled and shook my head.

"I don't want you to risk it. Also, I know you brought Lady Catherine to try to make me jealous, but this isn't just about me. She's dangerous for our family, and you have to trust me on that. Please, I beg of you, stop seeing her."

"I can't do that, Sister. Especially not if it makes you, of all people, beg."

I rolled my eyes and he smirked.

"I thought we were being sensible and nice tonight."

"We are, and I'd be happy to continue this conversation, but I think we've reached a stalemate. You want me to back off, and I don't want to, but for noble purposes. You have my promise to always love and protect you, unlike some bastard, and I won't stop caring and trying to keep you to myself."

"I don't think I like this deal very much."

"I don't see anything you can do about it, my sweet Val. Shall we just enjoy the night?"

"Yes, I'd like that."

My brother grinned handsomely, and I had to give in. I considered this progress, though not much. At the very least, we had an understanding now, as disagreeable as it may be. Damian was being rational and his normal playful self, a rare occasion that I intended to cherish, even just as a memory in the possibly distressing future.

I vaguely wondered if this sobriety had come from his attraction to me lessening due to Catherine, but I dismissed the idea. He was too obsessed with me for that, and no matter what, I loved him.