A voluntary asthma
Every day I follow the same routine. I wake up, I walk to school, I get bullied, I don't eat, I walk to the nearest bridge, I sit there considering why I can't move my feet, and then I go home only to be tormented until sleep. All throughout the day I cough and wheeze however which adds. Every time I cough and wheeze I get closer and closer to suffocation. Yet it's always moving so slow.
I however always say I'm fine and smile. That's why it's near voluntary. Part of me wants to suffocate of course but at the same time, it hurts so bad that I almost cry and scream for someone to help me. There's no way I'll die like this. I don't really want to and I guess there's a reason for that. Especially now as the new boy with red hair and a bit of a sad look walks in and sits next to me. I, of course, have known him longer than anyone else here. We live next to each other but he wakes up too late. I don't know his name or why his eyes make me feel as though he's in my same situation. He looks like he doesn't eat. He rarely sleeps. You can tell those types of things when you stare at the same problems. It's obvious who can't sleep or eat or who has what disorders.
He has ADHD. I can tell by the way he fidgets slightly at his desk. Probably some kind of eating disorder too. He's way too thin for it to be natural. Not to mention the way his eyes cloud. I don't know what this clouding is but I can tell it's no good. However, I can't tell if it's due to his home life or his past school life. That's when I noticed it. He drew stars on his desk using a pencil.
That however is short-lived as a bell rings and a teacher enters the room
Again I would like to remind you that Tubed Trainline is a book made only to help me with my own inner thoughts. If you're having issues regarding self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or anything else mentioned in the story, please call the below hotlines and know there's hope for you. I don't mean to sound sappy but as a person who has attempted suicide, I want everyone to know that it's possible to be ok again.
I know that it may not seem like it but you're worth the try!
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255
Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish
National Eating Disorders Association Helpline: 1-800-931-2237
This helpline offers support Monday–Thursday from 9 a.m.–9 p.m. EST, and Friday from 9 a.m.–5 p.m. EST. You can expect to receive support, information, referrals, and guidance about treatment options for either you or your loved one. You can also contact this helpline through its online chat function, available on its website. Additionally, there is an option to send a text message if you are in crisis by texting NEDA to 741741; a trained volunteer from the Crisis Text Line will get in touch with you.
Hopeline Network: 1-800-442-4673
This is a hotline dedicated to serving anyone in crisis. Sometimes, people with eating disorders might feel so full of shame or self-hatred that they contemplate hurting themselves. If this is true for you, this hotline offers nationwide assistance and support from volunteers specifically trained in crisis intervention. You can talk to someone day or night about anything that’s troubling you, even if it’s not related to an eating disorder. You can also call if you need referrals to eating disorder treatment centers.
Overeaters Anonymous: 1-505-891-2664
This hotline is available to people worldwide who need a referral to an Overeaters Anonymous support meeting in their area. Contrary to popular belief, Overeaters Anonymous is not just for people who are concerned about eating too much; it is also intended for those who have anorexia, bulimia, food addiction, or any other type of eating disorder. If you are reluctant to attend an in-person meeting or are not geographically near one, its website offers you the option to participate in an online- or telephone-based support group.
Crisis Textline: Text CONNECT to 741741
Available 24/7, 365 days a year, this organization helps people with eating disorders and other mental health issues by connecting callers with trained crisis volunteers who will provide confidential advice, support, and referrals if needed.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-787-SAFE
https://www.thehotline.org/
Please be safe and enjoy the story!