Depression

A castle on the hill, a legion storm up the hill with large rocks flying down the hill greeting them.

A man with a large white beard gathers a ball of fire.

A woman seducing an emperor.

A Dragon breathing fire igniting thousands until it hits the screen.

Leaving the words Grand Adventure Online.

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I am a top of the year University graduate valedictorian of my colleagues from an Ivy League school. I was voted the most likely to be successful in high school, and I did it. I was successful. I made it to the top company, and I worked all around the world. I was pursued to no end by women and had many relationships. About five years ago, I started my own company, and now I make graduates work for me. I was everything I wanted, but I felt alone. I am turning thirty-five, and I just feel tired. I keep an eye on my company but let the younger, more enthusiastic people do the work. I make millions of dollars off the company, which I have fifty-one percent shares. I have enough money for a lifetime.

I was just tired of women who didn't interest me, work didn't interest me, and my therapist said I was depressed. My family only comes to me to beg for money after giving them millions, which they blow through like nothing, so I had to stop. Now they refuse to acknowledge me as their own since I am 'Ungrateful'. I have never had children and decided to adopt a troubled teen about five years ago. I spent five years with this fourteen-year-old, watching her turn into a woman. I helped her and pulled her from a life of trouble to now going to university. She is my only family and the only one who cares about me. I have lived this life, and now I sit at home. I'm staring at the news, questioning life. I have no idea what to do with it. I am bored and depressed.

I get away from the TV, watching the business channel, and go to have a shower. I look into the mirror. I am about five foot five. I have brown, increasingly longer hair that has now reached my shoulders due to a lack of care. My beard is brown as well and has grown to the point it has hit my chest. If I grabbed a trench coat and sat in an alley, I would look like a homeless person. I haven't showered in three days, making me look greasy. I smell and feel like shit. I am only wearing some boxers and haven't changed since I last showered. I fucking smell.

I get in the shower, washing away the grime, and shampoo everything. I come out looking a lot better, but I don't feel any better. I leave the bathroom and change into some new underwear and decide to sit on my computer and check e-mails. I have no drive, but I should check how Jason, my CEO, is doing. I look over the financials and see my company growing. I take a couple of hours making sure everything is kosher and sign off. I hear my door open, and my daughter, who I adopted, comes in.

"What the Fuck, dad?!" She yells as my place looks like a mess usually. A maid cleaned it, but I told her to fuck off. The company she works for still gets paid, but I keep telling her to fuck off, and she doesn't care. "What is this?" She asks me, and I just look at her.

"I do not know. The maid keeps coming, and I tell her to fuck off simple maybe that's why?" I state simply. I have zero drive like I use to.

"Well, Ya Dad, that would cause this fucking mess to come apparent I have been fucking swamped with exams, and I know you're depressed, but it's only been three months! You know what, no, I will do something about this. I had an idea, but for now, you are coming with me, and I'm fucking calling a hazmat team to fucking clean this place; it fucking smells like something died, and I'm guessing it was your dignity!" My daughter yelled, and I couldn't retort.

She runs into my bedroom, and I hear more yelling before she comes out with a white T-shirt and some blue jeans. They are both designer and expensive, but I could care less. She hounds me into wearing it and leaving the apartment. I live at the top of a thirty-six story building and own the top two floors in a penthouse suite. The building was heavy on security, and after a short elevator ride, we walk past security. My daughter calls a company to come clean and better be done in a couple of hours, so send what they can and do it quickly. She then tells the security guards what's what so the cleaners can get in, and we are out the door. Heading somewhere; I don't know where but I can't care at this point. I haven't left the house in who knows how long.

We are in a supercar that I bought for her when she got into Harvard after turning her life around. When I first adopted her, she was a girl stuck in the system selling drugs to keep her mouth fed. She sold cigarettes to minors, weed, cocaine, and heroin. She was good, I could tell. I remember when I brought her home, and she was crying. She didn't know how rich or poor I was when she said yes to the adoption, just that I said that she wouldn't need to care about that since I made enough money.

She was now at Harvard and was one of the top kids in her class after working her ass off. Yes, we had some bumps on the road, but she tried her best. I could tell she loved me from her actions, although my family was the same growing up and now look at me. I haven't talked to my brother in years. My mother fucking hates my guts now. My dad refuses to talk to me. I gave them over twenty million dollars between all of them, and they blew it in three years. I stopped giving them money, and they hate me for it.

We arrive at a small diner, and my Daughter drags me in.

"Dad, what is happening? I know you are depressed, but I am very worried about you. This isn't okay. You are not taking care of yourself! I'm Scared." she whispers the last part, and it triggers me a bit as I see tears forming. "I am scared I have no one else. I lived like shit for years. I had to peddle drugs starting when I was eleven, daddy; you know this. I was constantly scared of some drug bust getting kicked out onto the street. I am sometimes still scared that an old drug dealer will find me even though I have no debts to them, Daddy, but you know what scares me the most?" I look at her. "I am scared I will walk into your place one day and find you, dead Daddy. I am scared you will kill yourself, and it looks to me like you are trying. At school, I am trying my best, but I am scared that I will receive a call from the cleaning company that you hanged yourself or killed yourself some other way in the back of my head. I am fucking terrified of that." I see a waitress come up in the corner of my eye and instantly turn around and walk away as fast as she could.

"Daddy, you are the one who saved me. I want to be there for you. I am coming back home and staying with you."

I tried to protest, but she shut me up quickly. I will admit, though, I was pretty bad, and now it is starting to affect her. I should go to see my therapist.

"Sorry, Gloria, I have nothing to do almost all the time, and I have no motivation. I know I have you, but I am lonely too. I have nothing to do with him and nothing to do outside. So I sit there. When I was in my early teens, I was driven, but I achieved all my dreams and realize there is no happily ever after. I do not know what I want anymore. I had gotten all I wanted when I was younger. I do not care anymore about making more money; I have more than enough. I can't care about women. They come at me and just feel needy, and I have to throw money at them to make them happy." I hold up a hand to stop this argument, "I know not all women are that way, but that is my experience, and I just can care anymore. To be honest, too, Gloria, I have only ever loved you and not in a sexual way. I have never loved a woman, and I can't ever seem to care. I just stopped caring about trying now. Before you ask, I have never felt sexually attracted to anything—neither men more women. I just stopped caring, but I am lonely; honey, I want something but don't know what. I need something to drive me, and I don't have anything to drive me. When you were a mess, I wanted to help you. I wanted to save you and help you. I am not asking you to be a mess and fuck up your life; I am just stating facts. I do not know anymore!" I rant blindly, putting my feelings out there, and she sighs.

Tears are still rolling, and she looked around as if looking for the meaning of life when she stares at something and Lights up.

"Fine, want something to drive you, Daddy? I challenge you then!" She points at a TV behind me, and I see Grand Adventure Online. It was in the business community as a must investment. I actually own some of the shares, about five percent while still at the beginning of the development. I remember an old friend asked me for the investment when she was still starting up. I remember her being a genius, so I gave her the money. I wasn't the only investor, nor was I the last. It seems she was releasing it soon. I didn't notice.

Something clicked, though, with the challenge. "Whats that challenge then?" I ask curiously.

"I want to start playing that game at the same time as you. I hear it will be insanely difficult. We will start at the same time and whoever becomes more powerful in a year gets to tell the other to do whatever they want for a year on a year they choose." She was desperate and did the first thing she thought of. I smiled at her and thought about it. I will admit it, I was intrigued. The game should start up in a week max, and so she could do what she needed at school and come live with me for summer. I know she won't let me out of sight for a while. I know my own actions have caused her to worry. But for the first time in a while, my interest was triggered.

"Okay, Since I own some shares and know the company owner, I can call her up and ask her for the virtual pods." Her smile made me happier she is worried about me and that makes me happier than I have been In a while. I wave at the waitress who seems to be giving us space and my daughter and I had a meal.