I Broke The Law

Nothing is fucking packed!

Those lazy, horrible servants. I stomp back out into the hallway, eager to find someone to yell at, and am instantly hailed down by a servant.

"My lady," he says before I can utter a word. "The king requests your presence. Would you care to follow me?"

Yes, I do care very much. Has Kassian more to say about last night's jaunt? Does he want to publicly banish me from the palace? Cast me out for attending an outing with his once friend?

But if there's even a chance that he wishes to forget the argument and have things go back to the way they were, I must take it. I can seduce a king even if I only see him for a half hour two or three times a day, surely? I can get over attending parties where no men will talk to me. It's only for a short time. Until I can secure the king in marriage and then kill him. Then I can have all the male companionship I want.

But fucking hell, why does Kassian have to make everything so damned difficult?

The servant leads me to the first floor, taking me out a back exit of the palace. He stops before a simple carriage and holds open the door for me. Inside, I see an outline of black pants and fine shoes.

Kassian?

Is he going to personally escort me from the palace? Why?

Grasping my best attempt at maintaining my dignity, I step into the carriage and sit opposite the king.

The door shuts behind me, and Kallias uses the rapier lying on the seat next to him to tap the roof of the carriage twice. After a slap of reins and the jolting movement of the horses, we're off.

The shadows dance along the cushions about his legs and shoulders. He wears a cotton-white shirt. No jacket or vest.

Though he wears his gloves. His pants are very simple today.

His shoes are fine, but I suspect it's because he doesn't own anything else.

By his face, I can tell he's waiting for me to ask him a question. Why are we here? Where are you taking me? Are you still angry?

But I don't give him the satisfaction.

I turn up my nose and look out the window, watching the passing scenery. It's not much to look at. Homes and stone streets and common folk going about their daily business.

But then the carriage turns, and I'm pitched right out of my seat and toward Kassian's lap.

There's a sensation like smoke from a fire passing over my limbs, and my nose inhales the lavender-mint musky smell of him. But I don't feel the outline of Kallias against my body. When I open my eyes, I realize I haven't landed on him.

I've gone through him.

I'm inside him.

I'm on my knees on the seat he occupies, him and his shadows engulfing me.

"Ahh!"

I thrust myself backward, worried that he'll somehow stick to me. That I'll have captured the shadows, that I'll be forever encased in darkness.

The smoky sensation abates at the same time the carriage comes to an abrupt halt. I have to plant my feet more firmly not to topple forward into the king once again.

But then I realize—

I touched him.

I broke the law.

Shit.

He's already cross with me.

Now what will he do?

I look up, and see that Kallias is still all in one piece. I haven't somehow scattered him by toppling forward into the swirling, incorporeal mass of him.

His face is still as stone, despite it not being as solid as such.

"Everything all right, sire?" the driver calls down.

Kallias's eyes never leave mine. "We're fine. Continue on."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

We're traversing up the mountain, I realize. Not down.

That's why I fell out of my seat, why I feel as though I'm constantly about to lose it once more. And now I fear the king is taking me somewhere to kill me.

Could I run away? Leap from the carriage and disappear before he can follow? Then what will become of me? I should try. I should think of something.

"Are you real?" I ask, the words jumping from my lips before I can hold them back.

"Quite real," he says in response.

"But you're not solid. You're … all shadows. Did I hurt you? Is that why you don't wish to be touched? Are you going to kill me?" The questions all topple out, each one starting before the last one has quite finished.

He fingers the handle of his rapier. Hopefully for something to do and not because he's contemplating using it.

"No," he says at last. "To all questions."

My heart calms somewhat. He really has no reason to lie to me. If he were going to kill me, I suppose he would just be done with it.

"How is it that you're able to touch that sword but not me?"

Can he not be touched by living things? That would make consummating a marriage very difficult, indeed. But then, I felt the pressure of his glove against my cheek …

In the span of a blink, the shadows disappear. All that is left is Kassian. Real, human. Corporeal. Touchable.

Beautiful.

In another blink, he's back to being surrounded by shadow.

"I can turn the ability on and off," he says. "I can force my fingers to solidify in order to pick something up, while the rest of me remains intangible."

"But why the law?" I ask. "If no one can hurt you, why forbid people from touching you? Why bother with gloves? Does that pain you? To touch someone skin to skin?"

"It does not pain me to touch anyone. Unless they're maiming me in some way."

Then why? I want to scream. Why push everyone away? Why isolate himself from everyone? Why live alone and untouched?

"If I were to touch someone skin to skin when I'm not in my shadow form, my ability would go away whenever I'm in their presence. I would be corporeal anytime they were around. I would be susceptible to death and pain and all else. My father lived to be over three hundred years old. A long and lonely life until he decided to marry my mother. Then he was mortal. She was the anchor keeping him grounded. And anyone could assassinate him while my mother was near.

"And they did," he finishes. "Falling in love is what got him killed. Now you see why I wish to appease the council without actually fulfilling their wishes. Someone killed my parents, and they will do the same to me if I let myself get close to anyone. Sometimes I even wonder if my brother's death wasn't an accident."

I dare not say anything, for fear he'll stop confiding in me.

"He wasn't like me, you see," Kassian says. "The ability passes from parent to child. But my brother, Fernasto? He didn't get the ability. I believe that's why he died so young. Someone wanted to take him out of the line of succession. My father was much more protected. It took longer to find a way to end him."

I can hardly believe he's trusting me with so much. But I also can't help but wonder if this is some sort of test.

I say, "When you barged into my room that night, you wanted to know exactly what I'd said. Because if people thought we were touching—"

"They'd come after me," he finishes. "And I'd have to be ever on alert."

"Why are you telling me all this?" I ask. "Are you sure you're not going to kill me?"

"You were right, Loralie. Last night. All of those things you said. I've been afraid to truly live. Being with you outside of closely observed mealtimes makes me vulnerable. If someone learns my secret, if we were to accidentally touch—I could be killed.

"But that's no way to live. I may not be allowed to ever have someone physically close to me. But that doesn't mean I can't let you in. I … like you, and I hope that you could like me, too."

Something in me … softens. There's something about looking on this dark, powerful man and hearing his hopes for us. It makes me want to make those hopes become real.

Right before I end his life, of course.

"So you're taking me…?" I ask.

"To one of my favorite spots. We're spending time together. Outside the palace. And not because it will further convince the council of our courtship, although that is a benefit. We're doing it because we're friends, and you deserve some real fun."

"Last night was fun."

"Some fun with me," he clarifies, his jaw setting. "No more nights with Kastien."

I raise a brow.

"I'm trying to compromise. I'm spending time with you, and we can't have the council finding out you're sharing your favor with more than one man."

"Fine," I say. "But I reserve the right to see whomever I wish if you start behaving like an ass again."

Sometimes I wonder if it's just a matter of time before I go too far. Before I say something to finally push him over the edge and get rid of me for good.

But I've found that during all our conversations, I haven't had to pretend. When I say things, it's because I truly feel and think that way. I may be trying to win the heart of a king, but …

I'm still being myself.

That's never happened before with a mark.

Why is this happening?

"That's fair," he says.

I reward him with the most charming smile I can find, and it isn't faked in the least.

"Do you think I could sit next to you?" I ask. "So I don't fall out of my seat again? The incline is steep."

He scoots to one side of the plush cushion in answer. I settle next to him, only my skirts brushing his shadows.

"Much better. Thank you."