It Gets Worse

TW: Bullying

I could hear the snickers and whispers behind me as I walked down the hall, trying to keep my head down and focus on anything but them.

"Hey, Kyle! Did you hear? Matt and Anna are officially a thing now!" someone called out, the words dripping with mockery. I clenched my jaw, trying to ignore the sting.

"Guess she chose the better twin, huh?" another voice chimed in, followed by laughter. It wasn't enough that Matt was always the one everyone liked more; now he had Anna too.

I kept my eyes forward, refusing to give them the satisfaction of a reaction. Inside, though, it hurt.

"Maybe if you weren't so weird, Kyle, you'd have a chance," someone said, their voice cutting through the noise like a knife.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, forcing myself to keep walking, to keep pretending that their words didn't matter. It was just another comparison, another reminder that in everyone's eyes, I was the lesser twin. I glanced at my reflection in a passing window, seeing the same black eye and split lip that had stared back at me this morning.

I wouldn't let them know how much it hurt. So I straightened my back and kept walking, ignoring the taunts the best I could, even though each one felt like a fresh new wound.

"Bro!" Matt ran up to me as if nothing were wrong at all. "Shit, what happened to your face?"

Paul stood behind him giving me a death glare, silently warning me to keep my mouth shut. "Why don't you speak?"

"Yeah, I want an explanation," Matt said.

"About what?" I asked.

"Come on, don't play dumb! What happened to your face! And why did some of the girls say you were trying to be like me?" Matt chuckled. "Right now I need to get everyone's support for the midterm student council elections."

"Come on, in the first place, who would mistake us for each other?" I scowled.

"I don't know what you intend to do, but I need this campaign to go well for my college applications. I know we have the same face but can you stop discrediting my image more than you already have?" Matt sighed. "The girls said you were thinking of becoming like me, but don't think about it. You can only be you—"

"Shut up!" I snapped. "I don't even know what the hell you're talking about. What about you? Since when were you and Anna a thing?"

"We aren't—"

"I don't actually care. It was just another way for you and your friends to laugh at me, right?" I shrugged. He was horrible for leading her on like that and I must've seemed like such a creep. "I hope it was very entertaining for you. I'm sure that girl didn't like that at all. What you did was awful."

"Listen! That's just a rumor! I'd never—"

"IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

The noise in the hallway had been a constant background buzz, but when I yelled at Matt, everything went silent for a moment. Then, it was like a switch flipped. The whole hallway turned on me, their faces twisted with anger and disdain. I saw Paul step forward, his expression menacing as he loomed over me like he was going to strike me.

"You think you're as good as Matt? You're not!" Paul spat, his voice loud enough to draw everyone's attention. "Apologize, now."

"Paul, stop it!" Matt pulled him back.

A chorus of voices joined in, chanting, "Apologize! Apologize!" It felt like the walls were closing in on me as things started flying my way—pencils, crumpled papers, even a textbook. My heart pounded in my chest, but I refused to show them how scared and humiliated I felt.

I shot Matt a glare, expecting some sort of intervention, some sign that he didn't want this. But he just stood there, looking almost lost and desperate for words.

Ignoring the chanting and the projectiles, I turned and walked the other way, determined not to give them the satisfaction of seeing me break. But it wasn't that easy. Hands shoved me from side to side, pushing me in different directions as I tried to escape the crowd.

Eventually, I broke free and found myself in the stairwell that nobody used. It was quiet here, and no one usually used these stairs anymore. I sank down on the steps, my body shaking with the effort to hold back tears. I leaned my head against the cool wall, closing my eyes and letting the silence wash over me.

For a moment, I could almost pretend I was somewhere else, someone else. But the bruises and split lip, the echoes of their taunts, and the fact that I have Matt's face kept me grounded in my reality. I was alone, unwanted, and not as good as my twin.

"Hey," someone said from behind me. Fuck! This place is always empty! Why is someone here? I quickly wiped my face but continued to face the wall. If they got mad at me for ignoring them, they can just hit me and get it over with. "Hey, I'm talking to you. You'd better have a good reason for disturbing me."

I looked up a bit to see what could possibly be my next problem.

He stood over me like a tower, his presence overwhelming and intimidating. Tall and muscular, he had the kind of handsome face that made people overlook the cruelty in his eyes. His jawline was sharp, his features chiseled, and his confidence exuded an aura of untouchability. Even now his brown hair and eyes looked charming despite my fear. This was the school bully, the one everyone feared and no one crossed.

Ethan Swanson.

I could feel his gaze on me, a mixture of disdain and amusement as he looked down at me crying on the steps. His broad shoulders and powerful frame seemed to take up all the space, making me feel even smaller and more vulnerable.

"Look at you," he said plainly. "Pathetic."

I looked back down, my eyes fixed on the floor as tears continued to fall, faster this time. The sound of his voice sent a shiver down my spine. Was he going to be the one to kill me? He was the embodiment of everything I feared, everything I hated about this place called school. And now, here he was, towering over me, enjoying my pain.

"Ugh, I didn't mean that. What I meant to say is that I see you here crying almost every day," he backtracked.

Great! I was fucking seen! "If you're going to beat me up, just do it!" I sobbed.

"I'm not going to beat you up for crying. I've got a reputation to protect," he knelt down so we were making eye contact. "The first day I saw you here crying... well would you believe me if I say I kept coming back to see you crying here?"

"You enjoy seeing me miserable too?" I asked.

"No, I don't. It's actually really shitty," Ethan said, wiping my face.

"What're you—"

"Go out with me, Kyle." Ethan smiled.

What? Why? Why was this happening to me? Why had I, of all people, caught the eye of the school bully? Was this God punishing me for something? Have I been that terrible in my life that he'd send Ethan Swanson, violence personified, to my side to joke?

Why him of all people?

"I'm not in the mood for your jokes right now," I turned my head.

"It's not a joke. I want you." Ethan took my chin between his fingers and turned my head back to look at him.

"Listen, I'm not Matt so—"

"I said I wanted you, not Matt," Ethan said.

This guy wanted me? What a joke. Did people think I'd really be so desperate as to just accept the first person who looked as though they wanted to be around me? Someone probably asked him to do this as a prank on me, didn't they? Being so openly accepting of any sort of affection was what got me into a big mess in the first place. So this had to be fake, right?

Well, now that I think about it, although Ethan is known as a school bully, he's never bullied me. Is this how it starts? Is this another humiliation tactic?

"I don't believe you."

"Would you believe me if I told you that I believe you're destined to be mine?" Ethan asked.

"Why would I believe that?"

"I just never imagined a person like you existed. I just want to look at you more and more, especially now that you're glaring at me. I'm really glad I waited for you today. I am sorry about your cute face though," Ethan cupped my cheek gently before I slapped it away. Ethan gave me a look, not one of hate but one that seemed to promise I could get eaten up at any time. His piercing eyes bore into me with a predatory intensity, a smirk playing on his lips. It was a look that sent chills down my spine. His presence was overwhelming. "Ah, but it's not good if I scare you too. I just wanted a smiling boyfriend. Why don't you give me a shot?"

If this was a game, it should be over once he shit talks Matt, right? If I can get him to do that, naturally he'll get mad and expose his own gamer. "Why don't you like Matt?"

"I can see past the goody two shoes act. He's so fake," Ethan said. "I also find him quite annoying to deal with."

That's the first time I'd ever heard that, but it doesn't mean a thing, just that he's smart about trying to play me and determined to ruin my school year.

"I'm going to take your silence as a yes, you know," Ethan whispered into my ear in a low voice.

I instinctively pushed Ethan away from me and sprinted down the hallway to my classroom. Surely I was safe here amongst the regular taunting whispers than to be in the hands of Ethan Swanson by myself.

It didn't feel safe. It didn't feel comfortable! And I still don't believe he actually wants me to go out with him for real. I still think it's just a prank!

Oh god! I pushed him and ran away! He'd never let me get away with that! Ugh! This has to be the worst day ever! What did this guy even want with me?

When class finished, I exited last as usual, but to my surprise Ethan was waiting outside of my classroom. Fuck! Was I going to get beat up again?

Ethan just smiled. "You have physics next. Let's go."

What? "Um—"

"Come on, let's not be late for class," Ethan pushed me forward towards the direction of my next class. There was no shortage of strange looks shot my way as Ethan hovered over me like a violent ghost. "Why do you keep peaking at your boyfriend's face like that?"

Boyfriend?! "I didn't agree to that!"

"I said I took your silence as a yes. Today marks our first day as a couple."

Fuck. That did happen and I stupidly stayed mute! "Are we really dating right now?" I groaned.

"You still think I'm joking? You can like me as much as I like you now," Ethan confirmed.

"If it's because I cried, you don't have to do that," I frowned. "You don't even know what kind of person I am or any of my interests."

"Hm, so you'd like me take more of an interest in you? I can definitely do that for you," Ethan smiled brightly. This is why I stayed mute, I just dig holes for myself when I open my mouth. Why would I want him taking an interest me at all?! How did he get that from what I just said. There had to be something so wrong with him for real.

"Please don't, I beg you," I said.

"You're really cute, Kyle," Ethan laughed. "I want your number, now."

Fuck.