Drinking

I recently experienced getting drunk. I've never been a drinker. I may try it if it's on the menu, but it never brings out any desire to get drunk. I never saw the benefit. I heard that it makes your head hurt and act stupid. I already act stupid sober. The last thing I need is to see my stupidity enhanced.

But I tried it out.

3 glasses to be exact and not for the sake of getting drunk, but simply because the taste of the drink was so good. Long Island Raspberry. Blueberry too. Helped me wash down a plate of heavily laden nachos. I didn't even realize I was getting drunk until I felt my head feel heavy.

It was a nice heavy. It made me feel funny and light.

I felt good.

It was such a nice change from my morbid state of mind. I now crave it. I don't wish to get shitfaced, but I want to experiment more with drinking. I want to see what other effects it will have on me.

Maybe it will help me.

I don't see myself getting addicted. I can't drink until I drop. That would be destructive. But once a week, I want to not feel despair. I want my mind to soar away from depression. This may be the first step I need. I sleep better after getting drunk too.

My dark thoughts can't taunt me when my mind is under the influence. It's not necessarily a good influence, but it makes me feel a bit better.