Chapter 115 — So You Don't Mind?

Li Chuanmo squeezed her hand gently. He already knew that, but it made him feel better that she wanted to talk about it. "Can I ask why?"

She said quietly, "I just think I'm a very conservative person."

Knowing her, that was not the only reason, so he gently pressed, "And?"

Her answer was few seconds late. "And it's been a very long time, so—" Her voice trailed away. She didn't complete her sentence, but he understood. Her slight nervousness melted his heart.

Turning to face her, he took her other hand in his, "Ran, look at me."

She looked up, but the elevator dinged at that moment, announcing they had gotten to the fourth floor. They got out, Li Chuanmo leading her to the stairwell. She followed him without protest.

After he closed the door, he turned to face her and take her hands again. She automatically looked up. "Ran, I'm never going to force or guilt trip you into doing anything you don't want to. It's okay not to be ready. It's fine not to want certain things.

"It doesn't make you weird, neither does it make me love you less."

Pei Yueran looked visibly relieved, "So you don't mind if we're not—physical for now?"

Li Chuanmo's eyes turned soft, "Yes, I don't mind. I want us to connect on every level, not just physically. When I fell for you Ran, I fell for all of you, and I fell hard." He paused for a few moments before continuing.

"Please answer this honestly: Do you find my kisses repulsive? Are my touches unwelcome?"

"Of course not." The sharpness of her response made Li Chuanmo happy. It felt like she had somehow given him honey.

"Great. So we don't have a problem there. I think there's no need to rush or feel pressured. You don't need to feel like you have to do something, or allow me do something for that matter. Let's just let things run naturally."

After a short pause, he admitted almost sheepishly, "Of course I'm a normal human male, so things might spiral out of my hands sometimes, but I'll train my self control. It's what makes me different from animals after all.

"By the way, self control is something I excelled at, until I met you."

Pei Yueran smiled, she just couldn't help it. His nonchalant sentence resonated strongly with her.

"Same here. If anyone had told me I would allow myself be kissed in the office and even enjoy it, I would have thought it nonsensical." She said, referring to their earlier office moment.

Li Chuanmo's smile deepened. "Ah, so you did like it. Well you caught me unawares at the time, and I had no choice but to reciprocate in kind."

She blushed. "You always say the most outrageous things, that's why. You should be careful of what you say, I just might act on it."

"Oh, if you would act on anything I say, I had better say some of the things I've had in mind for a long time. Who knows, it might just be my lucky day."

Li Chuanmo could see her struggling between curiosity and wariness. It was as if she was saying, "I really want to know what you've been thinking about, but what if it's another ploy to bait me?"

She was indeed lovely. Her expressive eyes, the way her long eyelashes fluttered whenever she blinked, and the way her brows furrowed slightly whenever she was thinking about something seriously never ceased to fascinate him.

While he was admiring her facial features, she made up her mind. "Don't say it."

So wariness won out, it seemed. Li Chuanmo was slightly disappointed.

"At least not today. I'll like to hear all about what you've had in your mind all along at another time."

Li Chuanmo perked up. There was hope then. Hope deferred was still hope.

He gave her a dazzling smile. "I'll remind you of this in the future, Ran." His words made her doubly sure that what he was going to say was a trap. One she would gladly fall into, just not today.

"Fine." She then moved closer, putting her arms around his midriff. "Thank you Chuan." She could not define her current emotion, but whatever it was, it was heartfelt.

Li Chuanmo hugged her back, "I'd prefer to hear something else actually. We don't quite need thanks between us."

Pei Yueran understood. She said the next thing on her mind. "I love you, Li Chuanmo."

"That's music to my ears indeed. I love you too My Ran."

*****

"You're back." Du Zimo said when Xu Kexin came in.

She wasn't even surprised to see him standing in front of the door. He did that everytime she had to go out of the house. It was as if waiting at the door helped assure him that she would come back.

"Yeah. Were you bored staying home?"

"A bit. But I ate some food, watched some TV and slept afterwards."

"That's good."

"Auntie and Uncle asked of you and sent their regards." She said, talking about his parents. "By the way, I met Lin Li today." She added, looking at his expressions to catch any change.

"Who's that again?" His clueless face made her a bit frustrated.

"Do you really not remember her? She said you promised to marry her a couple of months ago."

"Xinxin, don't you believe me? I really don't know this person. She's lying. How can I promise marriage to someone else? You're my fiancee." The hurt in his voice was raw.

Xu Kexin cringed a bit at the "Xinxin" part. Was amnesia this dangerous? How could someone that always treated her formally, calling her "Ms Xu" suddenly switch to a corny pet name like "Xinxin"?

Seeing him look depressed like a pet dog that had been punished to stand outside, she relented. "Alright, I'm sorry. But Du Zimo, I want you to be prepared. You're only like this because you have forgotten a lot of things. When you finally remember, your words and attitude will definitely change.

"You can be sure that I won't hold you back from happiness, so get well soon. I'm going to bed. Sleep well." She said. She was about to go to her room when Du Zimo grabbed her hands.

She tried to hide her uneasiness, but it was as plain as day to him. He eventually dropped them, and she hurried away.

"Sweet dreams Xinxin." Du Zimo said, going into his room as well. When the door closed behind him, his eyes changed.

He had truly being silly all the while.

The first time she mentioned this person, he thought it was ridiculous. He only had her in his heart, where would he have time and space for another person?

When she showed him the pictures, he was more focused on the fact that she didn't trust him. He was angry because he thought she should have been able to feel his sincerity all the while.

"Idiot!" He said over and over in his mind. He was really an idiot. Why didn't he investigate the matter? Instead of finding out who the woman daring enough to blackmail him was, he picked a fight with Xinxin instead and almost had their engagement annulled.

He had never been so grateful for an injury before in his life. The accident really came at the right time. If nothing, it at least helped him reset some brain cells.

He obviously liked her, so he could not fathom why he didn't treat her well. Why did he hurt her with those words?

Was he a sadist?