One Last Chance

I try to make one final attempt.

Since Adam doesn't want to talk to me, I decide I'll write him a letter. I don't need to be there in person for him to listen to what I have to say. He can get his apology through written word instead.

I pour my heart into this letter. I write all my heartache and my sorrow, I apologize over and over again, in every word, on every line, and I tell him how sorry I am for what I did and what I said.

I fold the letter carefully, put it inside an envelope and write his name on it, before I push it inside his locker, and then I wait.

Julia waits with me by her locker, because it's the one closer to his. She glances worriedly back and forth, from his locker to my face. The letter was her idea, and she's hoping it works out, because she said she can't bear to watch me suffering any longer.

Adam arrives at his locker with a group of friends parading at his side, and the envelope falls onto the ground as soon as he opens the door. He frowns and picks it up, glancing quickly at his name scribbled on the back of the envelope. He glances up and sees me standing a few feet away. I hold my breath, waiting, hoping...

He stands up and rips the letter into shreds, purposefully slowly, while his eyes remained locked on mine, and then he tosses the pieces on the floor before he turns his back to me and focuses on what his friends are saying.

I give up trying to apologize after that.

He doesn't want to listen, words spoken or written, and I have to respect that.

I have to accept he is lost to me, and that I won't ever get him back.