The curse of being an older sister

In a bridal dressing room, a pale faced young woman was on her knees with tears running down her eyes as she cried silently. Sitting before her were three people, a tall middle aged man in a black suit, a beautiful middle aged woman in a red and black hanfu and another woman, an older one that was holding a brown walking cane in her right hand. She was dressed in a white and jade colored hanfu and exuded arrogance.

These three people were dressed in traditional wear as one would do when attending an important ceremony like a wedding. The faces of the women were made perfectly and they looked rosy. Only the woman on her knees looked out of place in a less colorful outfit and a face which had the barest of make up. 

The expressions on the faces of the three people however was gloomy all around and not that of people who had something to celebrate. The man appeared apprehensive and uncaring, the woman who was holding his arm sneered as if this was a waste of her time while the older woman stared at the younger one that was kneeling with anger and burning fury in her eyes.

The young woman who was on her knees was dressed in a white and yellow suit; the heels of her feet were sticking out of the high heeled shoes on her feet like they did not fit her well. Her long light brunette hair was disheveled as if someone had grabbed it and pulled on it hard, and there was a red bruise on her forehead. On the floor next to her was a shattered pearl bracelet. Her shoulders were shaking, making it obvious that she was crying even though none of the people around her cared for her tears.

Suddenly, the old woman lifted her cane and used it to poke the young woman on the head roughly.

She raised her voice and said sternly, "You, Lin Alix, why are you being so difficult about this? We are doing this for your good and that of the family? You are already thirty one years old, which man is going to marry you? Getting married into the Zhang family is a blessing for someone like you. Zhang Caishen is rich, educated, respected and the heir of Zhang construction. Which of those qualities is dissatisfactory in your opinion?"

The young woman raised her head and shouted in a rage filled voice, "But it is not my wedding, I am not his intended bride. This is Billi's wedding; she was the one who wanted to marry Zhang Caishen. Who doesn't know that my younger sister Lin Billi and Zhang Caishen have been engaged ever since we were teenagers. How can you ask me to marry him now that he is crippled and Billi doesn't want him anymore? What will people say about me and our family?"

Why was her own family determined to push her into a fire pit? Did they think about what Zhang Caishen would do to her after he saw the wrong bride? Her father had refused to say anything while her step mother refused to budge and her grandmother did what she always did, that was to make her pay for Billi's mistakes.

"Shut your mouth." Her stepmother Jing Hee shouted. Her lips which were smeared with deep red lipstick made Alix think of a vampire that was born to suck blood from her, driving her to an early death.

"Mother," Alix said calmly as she wiped away her tears. "When I was three years old, my mother died and two weeks later you moved into my house with Billi. Ever since that day, I was told that I was the older sister and I should take care of my younger sister. When I was four years old, Billi antagonized the neighbor's dog by hitting it with stones. It was enraged and attacked, Billi pushed me in the path of the dog and it bit me. When I was in the hospital, you cried and told me to forgive her because she was willful.

To date, I cannot wear a short dress or skirt outside because I have scars on my legs from the brutal bites of that dog.

When I was six years old, Billi stole another girl's doll at the playground but when the family came over demanding for an apology, I was pushed forward as the culprit and forced to apologize. You turned me into a thief in the neighborhood, ruined my reputation and all you could tell me was to protect and forgive my younger sister because she was willful."

"Shut up." Her grandmother shouted. "Just put on that wedding gown as you are told." 

The expensive wedding gown was sitting on a chair next to her grandmother. As beautiful as it was, to Alix it might as well have been a shroud in which she would be buried.

So, she continued on, and increased voice saying, "When I was eleven years old grandpa Zhang, an old friend of my mother's family came over with a proposal to have me and Zhang Caishen engaged. As soon as he left, Billi started crying and she said that she had met him and liked him. She refused to eat for a whole day and locked herself in her bedroom crying her lungs out. Mother, you cried and begged me to convince grandpa Zhang to give the engagement to Billi.

You made me many promises about how much you would love me like your own daughter and again, you reminded me that Billi was willful, I should give in to her because I am the older sister. I naively believed you and did as you told me. Billi got her way and she became Zhang Caishen's fiancée.

At sixteen, I entered a piano competition and caught master Rong's eye. He took me in as a student and again, mother, you begged me to take Billi along. When I said no, she set my clothes on fire and burned all my music sheets. Again, just as it was done always, you cried and begged me to forgive her saying that she was willful and impulsive. Father visited master Rong the next day and when he came back home, Billi had become his student as well. Two days later I was kicked by master Rong out because I copied Billi's music sheet. It was only later that I found out she didn't burn some of my sheets but kept them and claimed them as her work."

"You!!" Jing Hee shouted angrily, "My Billi is very talented, she has won over twenty awards from different competitions domestic and international. Don't you dare slander her like this. Billi was simply more talented than you; it was not her fault that you were kicked out by master Rong. And as for Zhang Caishen, you have said it yourself that the engagement was originally yours so we are finally doing the right thing. We are giving you back your engagement as it was meant to be. You have become left overs on the marriage market so why can't you appreciate what we are doing for you and keep bringing up the past instead?"

"Mother," Alix said calmly in a low voice, "I am not yet finished. I have to air my grievances so that you can all understand how much you have wronged me over the years using the words family, older sister or willful against me. When I was eighteen, I got a chance to audition for rising star the popular television show. I told you all with so much excitement about how the producer had seen me playing piano in a music shop and asked me to audition.

One hour before the stage performance, you and Billi came to support me and after you came, my music sheet disappeared. While I was searching for it someone locked me in the bathroom, Billi took my place and performed. I was eventually discovered by a janitor but auditions had long ended and I found my music sheet in her bag after I returned home. When I confronted her, she cried, begged and even sliced her wrist which tied my arms ensuring that I could do nothing.

When grandmother saw that small wound on Billi's left hand, she slapped me so hard that my head hit the wall, I fell down and broke three fingers."

She raised her hand, removed her black gloves and exposed the three fingers of her left hand that barely had movement.

"Father through all this, you remained silent and never did anything. I am your biological daughter, Billi is your stepdaughter and yet you seem to love her more than me. As for you grandmother, my career as a pianist ended and I became a music teacher because of you.

Everyone was by Billi's bedside in the hospital but none of you ever went with me to get my fingers treated. Even the surgery which the doctor recommended to fix my fingers and fix them was rejected by you because you claimed six million was too high a price.

But when Billi asked you to send her to the Gongzhu music conservatory which costs twenty million per semester, you did it without hesitation. What have you people not done to ruin my life? What did I ever do to you that you should treat me this way?"